Devoted to Your Happiness
by BellaDameNoir
Summary: Fitz and Olivia meet in youth and discover a connection that immediately ties them together. Family dynamics, political conflict and tragedy threatens to sever their ties but their quest for happiness overcomes all obstacles before them. You will be able to find the sequel to this story under the name "The Constancy of Happiness"
1. Chapter 1 - Good Things In Small Package

**Hello, everyone. I haven't written stories in quite a long period of time. I'm more of a poetry writer. But Olivia and Fitz are such dynamic characters that they begged to be written in some capacity. So my story is a little different but it has some elements of Scandal in it too. Of course I don't own these characters but they are such fun to write about. Please leave me review. I love all feedback. Thank you. **

**Chapter 1 - Good Things in Small Packages**

Summers and holidays were always the best time for Olivia. It wasn't that she did not enjoy spending the rest of the year with her father – she did. Her father, Dr. Julius Pope, was a brilliant man, a hard worker and an exceptional surgeon. He provided a loving home for Olivia but she had to admit her life with him was very mundane even boring. He never dated, no matter how much she encouraged him to. She knew he didn't pine over her mother, Denise Pope; they had been divorced since she was 6 years old. But he was just overly-devoted to his job. He made sure she had the best of everything; he was always available when she called and for that she was profoundly thankful. So, in turn, she endeavored to make him proud of her.

Her father had insisted that she spend the school year with him for the reason that he found a renowned college preparatory school in Washington DC that would challenge her intellect and encourage her to excel scholastically. And it did. In school, she often exceeded most of her teacher's expectations. She tried not to dwell on the fact that they possibly had a initial low estimation of her because of her race. That only propelled her to push herself harder and in the end she was head of the majority Caucasian class. She was set to be the Valedictorian of her class. She was proud of herself and her achievements and it warmed her heart to know her mother and father were proud of her also.

Unfortunately, school no longer presented the challenge that it once did. As time went on, she found it easier and easier to do well in her classes. And because she did not find a thrill or rush of excitement from school or home with her father she often daydreamed about the next time she would join her mother in California and assist in her law firm – which just so happened to be coming up in a month. In Olivia's eyes, her mother was simply phenomenal. Denise Pope was a strikingly beautiful woman, who despite her petite stature yielded much influence in the California justice system and in many political circles. Five years ago she joined a partnership of attorneys at Jackson, Wright, Pope and Associates. However, she remained the chief legal counsel to one family – Governor Fitzgerald Thomas Grant II. Although she had known the family for 10 years, she had been on their retainer for the past 3 years. The family had been involved in enough potentially scandalous situations to keep her busy for years to come.

Olivia loved the way her mother involved her in her business. Since Olivia was 12 she allowed her to be stay at the office and learn all she could from the other attorney's. This thrilled Olivia. She loved the excitement of the office. She often would try to inconspicuously eavesdrop on conference meetings with clients; eager to soak in as much information as she could about legal matters. She knew that she wanted to be exactly like her mother. Her mother could speak confidently in front of any person – woman or man – regardless of their position. Olivia would try to suppress the urge to snicker behind her hand when her 5'3, 125lb mother would stand toe-to-toe with men three times her size and take them task by demanding their compliance on an issue or commanding them to fulfill a certain task. Her mother was a powerhouse. Olivia could tell that her mother had earned a great amount of respect from her peers.

Alone, though, her mother was a different person. She was loving yet firm. There would be countless conversations with Olivia about what it meant to be a strong, independent Black woman. Denise' way of teaching life lessons made Olivia hang on her every word - always to look people straight in the eye; always walk with her head held high, , never cower in a corner; pretend like you own the world because you do; you own your world, you control your future and your destiny. Denise repeatedly made sure Olivia knew that no one was better than her just because of their race. She built Olivia's confidence in her own beauty and intellect and taught her how to harness her abilities and use it to wield her power and influence over others.

Olivia knew men were attracted to her mother. She had even overheard several men ask her mother out for a date but she never accepted. In matters of romance, her mother was a mystery. She never dated while Olivia was around and each time Olivia came to stay, she half-expected for her mother to announce some type of boyfriend that had come into her life. But it never happened. She asked her mother about it once but all she said was "Men complicate your life and my life is already challenging on its own." Although Olivia was puzzled by it, she decided not to press the issue.

She had a fleeting thought her mother was in love with someone when she came to her one day three years ago and said that she would be taking Olivia to meet a new client she would be working for. She wanted to make sure that both her and Olivia looked perfect. Olivia noticed her mother seemed overly nervous about their appearance which was uncalled for since she always dressed immaculately and Olivia followed suit. But she seemed fretful and full of anxiety to see this new client and initially Olivia excused it as jitters over the first meeting with an important person.

In the drive to Sacramento, Olivia asked about the client. Denise explained, "Well this is a very important family. In fact, the father was just elected as the Governor of California. You may know him, Fitzgerald Grant II," she glanced over to find Olivia nodding her head in recognition of the name. Denise continued, "I've known the family for many years, in fact, you used to come with me to their home when you were a little girl but I doubt you will remember since they did not have any little girls for you to play with only two little boys – Theodore and Fitzgerald III..."

Olivia frowned at this because she could not remember the family. She knew the Grant name from her interest in politics but she could not recall meeting them personally. She was now eager to do so. Her mother continued to explain, "My firm has decided that I would be kept on retainer as the chief legal counsel for the family. Their previous attorney died and since I used to assist him on several cases involving the family they thought it would be a good idea for me to continue in that capacity."

Her mother spoke so matter of factly but Olivia felt that something else was there. She asked her mother a question that she never asked her before, "Are you nervous?"

Her mother looked at her in surprise. Olivia didn't think her mother expected her to pick up on the emotions she was feeling. But the surprise was immediately turned into a genuine smile, "I forgot how good you are at reading people. You have a skill baby that allows you to see the emotions and feelings of people. Continue to use that in your life, it will help you greatly in learning how to deal with others. I'm so very proud of you", as she patted Olivia's leg.

The conversation was halted as her mother drove her car through the gates and up the driveway of the biggest home Olivia had ever seen. It was beautiful. She was amazed by it but in looking over at her mother's frown, she could tell she did not feel the same. She wondered at her mother's look but dismissed it.

Before she could get out of the car, two men came and opened their car doors and escorted them into the home. '_This must be how it is to be rich'_, Olivia thought. When she stepped in the home she felt small almost unworthy of being there. Her mother knew it too because she whispered in her ear, "Don't cower honey, these are people more flawed than you and I will ever be. They are no better than we are. Stand straight, look them in the eye and be your most charming self." And with that Olivia felt 10-feet tall.

Through a door off to the side of the foyer a tall Caucasian man, that Olivia recognized to be the Governor, came out dressed casually in khaki pants, collared shirt and a V-neck sweater. He was an older man, slightly graying but he was extremely handsome. As soon as he saw Denise, his face lit up in a genuine smile. "Hello Jerry, how are you?" her mother said as she stuck out her hand to shake his. But the man looked at the hand and apparently decided that was not good enough; he pulled her mother into a tight embrace saying, "Better now that I see you." Olivia saw the look on her mother's face as she hugged this man; her mother's eyes were closed and she looked to be in a momentary state of peace. She had never seen this look before on her mother's face and immediately thought that she must really care about this man.

Under Olivia's watchful gaze, the embrace lasted longer than average greetings occurred and when they pulled about each person appeared slightly disappointed. Denise turned to introduce her daughter, "Jerry you remember Olivia right?"

Olivia stood confident and extended her hand saying, "Hello Governor, I'm very pleased to meet you." He shook her hand but there was a look of surprise in his face. Olivia could tell that he did not expect her to act in this polished manner. She secretly enjoyed shocking people in this way. It was part of her secret power that her mother taught her to use effectively.

After shaking her hand, the Governor ran his hand through his hair and appeared a bit disconcerted. Then he smiled in that charming way of his, "Why, is this little Livvy? I should have expected that she would be as beautiful as you, Denise. My Lord, she is a little imitation of you. It's been too long. I am very pleased to meet you as well Olivia." He stared a bit longer at Olivia before remembering his manners and saying, "Let me get the family together, make yourself comfortable in the study." And with that he took off to gather the rest of his family.

Denise led Olivia to the study. As Olivia watched her mother, a flood of questions ran through her mind – _How does my mother know this place so well? Why did she seem so comfortable hugging the Governor? He's a married man, right? Was this why my mother wanted to make sure we both looked our best?_ Once again she kept her concerns to herself and thought it best to simply wait and observe.

Within minutes, the Governor was back with his family. Olivia's memory was jogged to a news story featuring the Governor and his family and she recalled thinking how handsome the entire family was. He was pushing the wheelchair with his beautiful, frail, and impeccably dressed wife. And they were followed by their two sons. They all took turns greeting Denise with warm hugs of familiarity. Then the Governor introduced Olivia. Olivia stood up from her seat and walked over to greet the Governors wife first then she greeted the two sons – Theodore and Fitzgerald. Both sons were extremely handsome, taller than their father, with dark hair fierce blue eyes. Although Theodore was the oldest, Fitzgerald was the tallest. They both had this charming smile that made Olivia's heart skip a beat. She was young but she could appreciate good looking men. Theodore insisted she call him Teddy and Fitzgerald insisted that she call him Fitz. She smiled at their kindness.

When they all sat again, she was taken aback by Fitz kind attention to his mother. He made sure she was comfortable and asked repeatedly if she need anything. She responded with kind smiles of love and adoration for her son. The conversation whirled around Olivia and she was content to sit and listen – she learned more that way. In the course of the conversation she learned that both Teddy and Fitz were being groomed to pursue politics – although Fitz seemed a little less eager about the idea than Teddy was. Teddy was 28 and Fitz was 21 years old. They were on break from their college studies and interning at the Governor's office. Teddy was engaged to be married to a lovely girl named Millicent. At the mention of her name, Olivia noticed that all except Jerry flinched. It was obvious the rest of the family did not really care for her. Teddy also just finished a brief stint in the US Navy while Fitz was scheduled to go in about a year. Once again Olivia noticed how Fitz seemed a bit saddened by the future plans his father was sharing. Olivia couldn't help but feel sad for him also simply because it appeared that his life was being planned without his consideration.

The Governor announced, "Denise and I need to discuss some business matters. Why don't you all take Olivia and show her the grounds?" It was clear that this was not a suggestion but a command and the entire family complied. Olivia shot a look to her mother, who smiled reassuringly. Olivia too did as she was told as Mrs. Grant smiled at her to give further assurance that all was well.

After leaving the study, Mrs. Grant announced that she was a bit tired. Out of nowhere, a nurse appeared to take her to lie down for a nap. Fitz asked, "Do you need anything mom? Can I help you get to your room?" Mrs. Grant responded, "No sweetheart. I'm fine, you go and show this pretty young girl around and bring her back for lunch in about an hour. I will be back down by then and we can all have lunch together." She kissed his cheek and allowed the nurse to escort her to her room.

Teddy's cell phone started to ring. Olivia and Fitz stood there listening to his side of the conversation.

"Mellie, what's going on?"

"Why are you here?"

"I told you I would call you later."

Teddy sighed heavily and said "Alright, alright, I'll wait for you at the house. Goodbye." After he hung up the phone, he gave Fitz a knowing look. Fitz asked, "So why is she coming here?"

"She said she had some free time and wanted to spend it with me." Olivia wanted to laugh because Teddy did not appear to want Mellie's company at all.

"Well, you can wait for her. I'll take Olivia and show her around. I am not eager to spend any more time in the company of Mellie than absolutely necessary. Sorry bro." Fitz patted his brother on the back and turned to Olivia with a charming smile, "You ready to go?"

"Sure," was all Olivia could get out before Fitz took her hand. She admitted to herself she enjoyed being in the company of both Teddy and Fitz. They were nice people and they humored her. Olivia reasoned that they probably looked at her like a little sister of sorts.

When they were out of the house, Fitz sighed heavily, released Olivia's hand and ran his fingers through his hair. A mannerism that reminded Olivia of the Governor and she wondered if Teddy did the same thing. Then he remembered his company and smiled at Olivia, "Anything in particular you would like to see first?"

"I cannot say for certain since I don't know what there is for me to see. I'm not aware of my options." Fitz was immediately taken aback that she was so articulate for a young girl. And Olivia inwardly smiled. He stopped walking and looked at her.

"How old are you?"

"Do you normally ask young ladies that question, because it's quite rude? I'm not personally offended. I don't mind telling my age. I just think you should be more careful with what you ask in general. I am 14 years old. Does that shock you?"

Fitz chuckled. "Yes, I guess it does. You seem a bit older and you certainly do not talk like a 14 year old girl normally does. Have we met before?"

"I don't remember meeting your family however; my mother reminded me that I previously came to visit your family when I was much younger. I assume that it was not remarkable since again, I was a much younger girl and you don't have any young sisters that I could have played with."

He quietly walked on and Olivia kept in step with him.

"Why don't you like Mellie?"

Fitz shot Olivia a side look and smirked. "Mellie, I guess she is ok. I'm just happy I don't have to marry her. She can be - what's the word I'm looking for…mmmm….Irritating as hell!"

For the first time, Olivia laughed full on. And she felt a little more comfortable in Fitz' presence.

Fitz laughed too and said "Too bad you didn't come around more often, you would have been a great little sister to have." Olivia smiled at his statement. As an only child, she too would have loved to have older brothers.

"So will your marriage be arranged as well?"

Fitz stopped again and put his hands in his pockets. He frowned first and then smiled at Olivia. "Oh you caught that did you? It's obvious that Teddy doesn't love her either. Well in families like mine marriages are more like contracts designed to merge two families together. It ensures a properly bred successful blood line. Love is not part of the arrangement. So to answer your question, I expect my marriage will be arranged as well." He looked off at some imaginary spot and appeared to be lost in thought. There was sadness in his face that once again made Olivia feel sorry for him. She noticed that his eyes changed colors to a light grey. It was a beautiful color but she supposed it changed to express his shift in moods.

"I can tell that this saddens you."

"Olivia, Livvy, can I call you Livvy? Where in the world do you come from? Young girls are not as outspoken as you are especially around grown men." He laughed at his own observation especially when Olivia cocked her head to the side with a quizzical expression of her own.

Olivia shrugged and ignored his questions. "If our conversation makes you uncomfortable I apologize, that was not my intention. It was just an observation."

"Well to be honest, my situation does upset me to a certain degree." Fitz looked down and continued, "I would much prefer to control my own life and future. I would prefer to marry for love. But since that is not to be the case…" He trailed off and shrugged as if he was resigned to his fate.

"What would you do with your life if you could choose?"

Fitz thought for a while. No one had ever asked him that question. No one ever bothered to consider what he thought. His life was always chosen for him. As he had gotten older, it became more and more irritating. He felt like a puppet on a string, constantly controlled and manipulated. He wanted so much more out of life. Exactly what that was, he did not know but it pained him to follow in line with what his father wanted for him. Teddy had easily complied but Fitz didn't want to.

He looked back at this young girl who asked him more questions about his personal feelings than anyone cared to or even dared to. He was touched that she was interested in how he felt. He was sincere when he said he wished she was his younger sister. It would have been nice and refreshing to have her around more often. He realized she was patiently waiting for an answer from him. Her inquisitive large doe eyes were staring at him and he saw her reading every expression on his face.

"I would choose to be happy."

7


	2. Chapter 2 - Let the Games Begin

**Chapter 2 – Let the Games Begin**

Fitz looked at his watch and saw that it was close to noon. He suggested to Olivia that they head back to the house. Olivia was fine with the suggestion. She had seen enough of their property to be completely impressed – the pool, tennis courts, gazebo were all beautiful.

She had also learned much more about the Grant family. Fitz explained that his mother was wounded in a car accident about a year ago that left her paralyzed. Fitz had always been more attached to his mother and his empathy for her condition only moved him to want to take care of her in any way he could. Olivia could tell Fitz had a rather low opinion of his father as he rarely spoke of him. And when he did, he referred to him as Big Jerry, never by 'dad' or 'father'. There was clearly some animosity between the two but she did not question him about it.

Fitz looked up to his brother Teddy. He spoke of one day seeing Teddy elected to President of the United States. He said it so calmly that Olivia knew that they all truly believed it to be possible and not just a dream. He said that Teddy would make a great President as he had qualities that anyone could admire - intellect, courage, compassion for others and charisma. And Teddy wanted it too; he wanted to help people, to be leader of the Republic Party and affect real change in the country.

"Do you follow politics?" Fitz asked Olivia as they walked back to the main house.

"Yes I do but not for one party over another; just politics in general. I'm apolitical."

"Apolitical? What does that mean?" Fitz chuckled as if she had used a term that was unheard of in the English language.

"It means that I don't particularly side for one party. I enjoy the energy of politics and all it's moving parts. I guess I'm sort of a backseat observer."

Fitz was quieted at Olivia's response. This beautiful young girl had amazed him. He admittedly did not interact with many teenagers but he knew for certain that they were nothing like Olivia. She was an original. She was small, especially compared to him. He imagined that she was about 5'2 and no bigger than 120lbs. But her size had no relevance when she confidently expressed herself. When she talked she became bigger than life. He would have never imagined himself admiring the wit and intellect of a 14 year old child but here he was. He almost laughed aloud at himself but he held back for fear that she would think he was laughing at her.

"It's ok Fitz, most people don't know what to make of me. To be honest, I really like it that way. Life can be boring without enigmas, mysteries and complexities. I don't favor the cookie-cutter images of one person being the same as the other," Olivia said as if she could read Fitz mind.

Fitz didn't know how many times in the course of their conversation that he was amazed at what came out of her mouth, but it was entertaining. He could never judge what she was going to say next. She was completely unpredictable.

"Do you know that your eyes change from blue to grey and back depending on your mood?" Olivia thought she better lighten the conversation. Her mother cautioned her before that some people, especially adults, didn't like it if she was too "deep" in her conversation. It unnerved adults to hear such things coming from a child. She didn't want Fitz to feel like he couldn't talk to her. It mattered to her whether he liked her or not because she really liked him.

It worked because Fitz was smiling again. "No I supposed I didn't. My mother could always tell my moods but she never said anything about the eye color change and I guess I never paid much attention to it. Do you make it habit of observing people so closely?"

"I do. But not with the intent of making them uncomfortable, which I fear I have done with you."

"I'm not uncomfortable, just….I don't know the word for it."

"Well Fitz if you plan on being a politician I suggest you start using your words." She laughed to soften the blow of her words lest he take offense.

He wasn't offended. In fact he laughed heartily and Olivia was happy her words were the cause of his good feeling. Fitz was good-natured and she liked seeing him more carefree without the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was infinitely more attractive when he laughed, if that were possible.

As they reached the house, Fitz noticed another car in the driveway and remarked, "Well Mellie's here. Let the games begin."

Olivia didn't have time to ask him what he meant by the last statement as her mother appeared at the threshold of the doorway waiting for them to come in. Denise looked from Fitz to Olivia and back again and couldn't help but think _'they would make a beautiful couple. Olivia would be the perfect complement to Fitz goals and dreams.'_ But she shook her head at such a notion; that would never happen – not in this lifetime.

Denise kissed her daughters cheek as she greeted them both. "You ready for some lunch? Thank you Fitz for spending time with Livvy."

"It was no problem; I enjoyed it. I should say 'thank you Livvy for putting up with me'." Fitz said as he smiled to them both and made his way to the dining room.

When Fitz was out of earshot, Denise turned to her daughter and said, "Are you okay baby?" There was such concern in her voice that Olivia wondered what exactly her mother was thinking, why wouldn't she be okay with Fitz.

"Of course mom, Fitz was nice," Olivia smiled. Denise searched her daughters face for an inclination of any other feeling and finally resigned herself to accept Olivia's words. "Good then let's go eat. Now Teddy's fiancée and her friend, I think her name is Trish, are joining us for lunch too. So once again I tell you that you have no reason to ever feel inferior to these people. You are a beautiful, intelligent young woman. What you will find is that people will become intimidated by you. They will try to hide their feelings but you will see it cross their face. And I know that as observant as you are, you will pick up on it at once."

Under her breath, Olivia repeated the same words Fitz just uttered "Let the games begin".

The dining room was grand. There seating was enough to hold 25 guests. Everyone was seated with the exception of Teddy and Fitz who were talking in low voices in a corner. Olivia couldn't hear what they were saying but she could tell that Fitz was angry. Fitz kept shooting irritating looks at the girl, Trish, and back at his brother. Olivia wondered what relationship Trish had to their family.

"Come and sit you two," the Governor said to Denise and Olivia. "Denise you can sit here next to me and Olivia why don't you sit next to Fitz." Olivia didn't mind the seating arrangement but apparently Mellie and Trish did. They both shot looks at each other and at Teddy. They quickly tried to cover up their irritation with plastered smiles. Olivia thought, _'pretenders'_.

Governor Grant sat at the head of the table and on his left was his wife while Denise sat on his right. Teddy sat next to Denise, while Fitz sat next to his mom. Mellie and Trish sat next to Teddy. Olivia looked over at Mellie and couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Mellie appeared to have no idea that she was not liked by most of the Grant clan. She laughed on cue and smiled demurely but Olivia could tell there was a lying, deceptive personality beneath the surface. And she speculated that if anyone crossed Mellie, her claws would come out.

There was silence as the food was served and Fitz asked his mother, "Did you have a restful nap?" His mother replied, patting his hand, "I did thank you sweetheart."

The Governor then spoke directly to Olivia, "So Livvy, your mother tells me that you help out at the law firm every time you come to visit."

Everyone turned to Olivia with a shocked expression on their face. Her mother beamed with pride as she saw Olivia's confidence take charge when she replied, "Yes Governor I do. I am learning quite a bit being in the presence of such great attorneys."

He continued, "So is that your goal; your career aspirations."

"Yes Sir it is."

Mellie cut in, "Aren't you a bit young to be surrounded by attorneys all day. Shouldn't you be, I don't know hanging with friends at the mall or watching cable reality shows."

"I supposed that is what some young women my age do and while I appreciate recreational activities; I also understand the importance of learning as much as I can about a field that I am determined to excel at. And since that is the case, I feel that it is never too early to start on the right course."

Mellie could only close her mouth. Olivia looked around the room and noticed that her mother smiled at her adoringly; the Governor eyed her wearily; Mrs. Grant smiled from ear to ear, while Teddy and Fitz just stared at her. Trish only had eyes for Fitz.

Olivia kept her eyes on Mellie in case she had any further questions and when she did not she turned her attention back to her food. Mellie was an attractive girl but Olivia could tell that she spent too much time trying to put people in what she supposed to be their 'proper' place. Mellie was the type of person who thrived on class distinction and she enjoyed having the upper hand. To Olivia, Mellie seemed small in her thinking. She knew that Mellie thought her to be inferior because of her race but by Olivia's response she could tell that she unnerved Mellie. Olivia inwardly smiled at herself.

Teddy asked, "So Olivia, you don't spend all your time with Denise?"

"No, I spend my school year with my father in DC and I spend my summers and holidays with my mother." When Teddy's face appeared sad at her situation, Olivia quickly added, "I enjoy this arrangement though, both my father and mother are hard workers and care for me very much. I have learned a great deal from both of them. In no way do I feel deprived."

Teddy and Fitz gave each other a look indicating how they wished their home life presented the same comforts.

"So Daddy wanted me to remind you of the ball he is giving in your honor Governor next Saturday," Mellie cut in. She needed the conversation to be focused on her. "It will be a beautiful black-tie affair. Fitz, Trish and I were thinking that it would be a good idea for you two to go together. I don't think you have a date right?"

Olivia saw Trish bat her eyelashes at Fitz and thought it was the most disgusting thing she ever saw. _'Did men really go for that'_, she thought. She looked over at him and noticed his eyes turned grey, which indicated that his mood had turned. Olivia smiled and looked down at her napkin. She knew Fitz did not like this situation at all.

Trish continued to smile at Fitz, hanging on for an answer. Trish was a beautiful blond girl with blue eyes. She had a great shape and would look good on the arm of any man, if that was all he wanted. Olivia thought Trish seemed a little empty headed. Fitz stared at his brother with frown on his face and all he muttered out was "We'll see."

Olivia noticed that her mother, the Governor and Mrs. Grant started a side conversation so she decided to have a little fun – Let the Games Begin.

She asked Trish and Mellie, "So are you ladies both aspiring attorneys as well?"

Trish allowed Mellie to speak for her, "Yes we are." Mellie was a little pleased to be asked questions. She thought perhaps Olivia could learn from her.

"I see, and what will be your field of expertise?", Olivia continued. Trish cocked her head to the side as if no one ever forced her to consider that question. Mellie however, spoke up and stated Contract Law.

"And I understand that you are engaged to Teddy. So how will your career fit into your role as a politician's wife?" Olivia asked as sweetly as she could. She wanted Mellie to think that she was just an inquisitive little girl.

"Well Teddy knows how important my career is to me", Mellie said smiling at Teddy and patting his hand. Teddy eased his hand away. "So he would never ask me to give up my career for his. Besides these days I think a woman could have both – a career and a successful husband."

"And children," Olivia offered.

Mellie visibly swallowed. _'She doesn't like children'_, Olivia thought to herself. "Yes, children, if it comes to that", Mellie strangled out. Teddy was now looking at Mellie with a frown on his face. Tension was building in the air.

"So what advice would you give to a young lady like me?" Olivia asked as she noticed through the corner of her eye that her mother was now intently looking at her.

Trish took this opportunity to speak up first, "Well, first make sure you keep your looks. You are a pretty girl and you want to be able to attract a good-looking, successful man. But if you let your looks go, you'll never be able to do that." She seemed so proud of her input that all Olivia could do was give her a sincere look of encouragement, hoping Trish did not pick up on her condescension.

"My advice to you Olivia is to keep your career goals and pursue them without letting anyone, not even a man, tell you otherwise. Be your own independent woman. You can be equal to any man, capable of doing anything – even running this country. Well not you per se, you know with your background and all – but women can achieve a lot in this country." Mellie too beamed with pride at her comment. Olivia knew she received an insult in the comment but didn't take it personally. Mellie sincerely believed what she said and Olivia was tickled at her racist comment.

She looked over to her mother and saw her frowning at the Governor. Why, Olivia did not know. It wasn't his fault that Mellie was so ignorant.

The looks on Teddy and Fitz faces were priceless. They were both offended by these beautiful women sitting before them. They frowned at each other silently communicating their discontent with both Mellie and Trish. Olivia had achieved her goal. She had shown up the personalities of each woman in a way that did not offend merely enlightened.

The lunch continued on and afterwards Denise announced that she and Olivia had to head back. Mellie and Trish announced they would stay a little longer at which both Teddy and Fitz sighed heavily. After saying her goodbyes to everyone, Fitz and the Governor said they would walk Denise and Olivia to the car. Fitz hung back and walked with Olivia smiling.

"Well thank you again for today, I had a great time," Olivia said.

"I bet you did," Fitz smirked, "I know what you did back there. You are a sneaky person Olivia and I would hate to be caught in your cross-hairs. I am sure if you haven't learned already, you will soon learn how to reduce someone to size with your sweet demeanor and intelligent words."

Olivia laughed. She knew Fitz would pick up on what she was doing. "Well Trish should be an exciting date for you. Maybe she can educate you on botox injections, body enhancements, makeup and hair styling tips."

"Oh you got jokes. Ok I see. You should be feeling sorry for me to be left to the likes of Mellie and Trish. Once again I'm being set up to do something I definitely would not choose for myself."

Olivia turned to him seriously, cocked her head to the side and said, "Fitzgerald, this is your life. You own your world and you control your destiny. Why not try living the life you've imagined." And with that Olivia gave him a quick hug and walked to the car to join her waiting mother.

She waved as they drove off and found herself hoping that Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III really found happiness in life.

6


	3. Chapter 3: Filing In Gaps

**Chapter 3: Filling In Gaps**

Olivia always had fond memories of her first encounters with the Grant family. Although the Governor seemed a bit of a mystery, the rest of the family proved to be warm and inviting. Her mother's work with the Governor called for frequent visits to the mansion – sometimes 2-3 times a week. The Governor always suggested that they stay the night, which Olivia thought would be convenient but her mother staunchly refused each invitation.

She would assist her mother with making copies, taking notes of meetings or even providing a fresh point of view regarding a matter. Governor Grant had a host of contractual obligations that needed to be reviewed by her mother for a simplistic explanation and final decision. Olivia was never bored with the work. She found it interesting that the Governor had his hand in all these matters in addition to the responsibilities of his political position but with her mother's help he managed it well – at least that was what her mother told her.

Olivia knew that she was not privy to the entire goings on of the Grant family. There was still quite a bit of time her mother spent with Governor Grant in which Olivia had to be excused from the room. Olivia did not mind, she used her alone time to get to know Mrs. Natalia Grant. She quickly understood why Fitz was so devoted to his mother. She was a beautiful person inside and out. Olivia would sit with her for hours listening to the stories of Teddy and Fitz' childhood. She doted on her boys and loved them completely especially her beloved Fitz. She would never admit that Fitz was her favorite but she spoke of him with such adoration, Olivia never doubted it to be so. She spoke of Fitz' genuine compassion for the feeling of others and his selflessness; she recited occasions where Fitz sacrificed his own happiness for the sake of his brother or for the family in general. He never asked for anything in return – it was done purely out of love. With guarded words, she also mentioned that Fitz had a temper. It would come out if he was cornered or if he felt he was being attacked verbally or otherwise. Most of the time he controlled his emotions but there were rare occasions where his temper would get the best of him and she would try to get him to calm down before he said or did something regretful. As she spoke of Fitz, Olivia had the feeling that this 'something regretful' had happened before and Mrs. Grant dared never to speak of it.

Olivia encouraged her to speak of the family. She wanted to know about each of them. But there were times when Mrs. Grant would get carried away in memories and would abruptly catch herself before she revealed too much of their past and present. To break the awkward silence, Mrs. Grant would pat Olivia's hand and say "but that's a story for another time."

Natalia Grant loved Olivia's company too. Olivia had a liveliness that came with youth and this marveled Mrs. Grant. Olivia was a beautiful girl whose curiosity about others could easily be masked in simple, polite conversation. After several discussions with Olivia she had come to understand that Olivia had a way of asking questions that never seemed impolite or nosey; she seemed to really care. And that put Natalia at ease. She loved the affect Olivia had on her household. This little girl had the intelligence and confidence of a grown woman – much more than Natalia had herself. Her boys loved being in Olivia's company; she was like the little sister they never had. Both Teddy and Fitz readily engaged her in conversation from any subject ranging from politics, the law, and history to current events. Olivia could even debate an issue with either son and fiercely argue her point without being disrespectful or mean. She simply stated what she knew to be true and often times the boys would find themselves on the losing end of the argument. There was laughter in the house when Olivia came around and Natalia enjoyed it immensely. Natalia encouraged her to spend more time with the boys, if they were available. She knew that Olivia would temper her sons' personalities and enhance their sensitivity to the feelings of the fairer sex; which would be useful in each of their marriages. They had both developed a protectiveness of Olivia that Natalia thought was endearing. She hadn't noticed it before until Big Jerry's sister and her family came to visit.

Melissa Channing occasionally brought her children – Zachery and Daniel – to visit at the Governor's mansion. The Grant family didn't really enjoy their company as they were a selfish, snobbish lot that always insisted on having things their way. Melissa's husband never came; he was always conveniently away on some sort of business although no one could really say what exactly he did for a living. It was clear that once upon a time Melissa had natural beauty but years of plastic surgery had not been kind and instead of maintaining her beauty, it made her look rather odd.

Zachery and Daniel were 16 year old twin boys. Zachery strutted around like a peacock, proudly sticking his chest out. He believed the world owed him everything. Daniel was the opposite – he was quiet and shy. However, he had a mean streak, which although he tried to hide it could be quite cruel. Both boys were handsome but since they were never taught to be kind, gentle or loving, they used their attractiveness to manipulate and abuse others.

Denise and Olivia arrived one afternoon to find Melissa and her boys visiting the Governor's mansion. Teddy handled the introductions between the two groups. Everyone noticed Melissa immediate dislike of Denise' good looks and obvious intellect. Melissa quickly dismissed her under the guise that she had to do some unknown task in another part of the house. Denise was used to this type of treatment and merely shrugged it off. She went in search of the Governor to discuss some paperwork. She directed Olivia to stay with the Mrs. Grant and the boys.

When Teddy introduced Zachery and Daniel to Olivia, Zachery's response unnerved him. Zachery got this glint in his eyes that made Teddy uncomfortable and prompted him to place a protective arm around Olivia. Teddy soon after had to go back to the office to finish some work but before leaving pulled Fitz outside and warned,

"Don't leave them alone with Olivia."

Fitz laughed because he could not imagine what the problem would be. "What are you talking about, they're kids."

"Yes they are but Zachery and Daniel are the devils children and I don't trust them around her. I'm not sure what they would do but it won't be good, whatever it is. So trust me, keep an eye on them."

Fitz sobered as he realized his brother was quite serious. Maybe Teddy knew something about the twins that Fitz didn't know. And since he trusted his brother's insight, he responded, "No problem, I'll take care of it."

When Fitz entered the family room again he had an understanding of what Teddy was speaking about. Olivia was sitting on the couch watching television and both Zachery and Daniel were staring at her as if she were a prized possession that they would pounce on any minute. He knew Olivia was trying not to notice their rudeness but it was clear that she was becoming uncomfortable too.

"Where did mom go?" Fitz asked as he rejoined the group.

"She just went to the ladies room, she will be right back," Olivia offered.

"Olivia, let's go for a walk," Fitz said. Mrs. Grant entered the room again just as the boys were asking if they could come too. Fitz' fierce "No" startled the whole room including Olivia. She had never heard him speak with such firmness. The twins got the message and sat back down to watch more television. Fitz walked over kissed his mom on the cheek, whispered something in her ear causing her to smile and exited the house with Olivia.

When they were outside, Olivia asked "What did you tell your mother?"

"I told her I had to get you out of there until your mother was ready to go. I'm sorry about my cousins, they were rude. I guess they've never seen a girl as pretty as you."

Olivia never dwelled on her beauty so she pushed the comment aside. "I knew they were scheming to get me alone. I could hear them whispering. But I wasn't too worried, I knew you were coming right back."

"Oh you knew I would swoop in and save you," Fitz said grinning proudly.

"Don't flatter yourself too much; it was just a logical thought. I knew your brother wasn't comfortable with me being around them and I assumed he would have pulled you outside to say so. And a couple of minutes later you were back in the house doing exactly what I thought you would do, protect me."

"You are an interesting young lady, Olivia. I never know what is going to come out of your mouth."

Olivia just shrugged. She changed the subject, "So how was your date with Trish?" Olivia laughed jokingly, "Don't tell me, you're actively dating because her father owns a company that your father wants to invest money in or something along those lines." Olivia spoke sarcastically because she knew she was exaggerating, at least she thought so.

He stopped and looked at her, surprised that she got all that from her brief time with Trish.

When he didn't speak, Olivia sighed and stated, "So I guess it's true. I have to say I'm a bit disappointed in you. I hoped that you would have dismissed her and searched for someone that could at least match you intellectually."

Fitz merely stated, "Yeah well things don't always turn out the way that you want them to. Sometimes life just happens." He continued to avert her peering gaze.

Olivia next spoke in a hushed whisper that he almost had to strain to hear, although there was no mistaking her irritation with him. "Oh no you've already slept with her. Fitzgerald please, how could you do that. Now you'll never get rid of her. Now she thinks you love her, when you clearly don't. Please tell me you at least used protection."

"Olivia I'm not having this conversation with you. You are a young lady and things like this should not be on your mind. I'm not going to be the person to talk to you about sex."

Olivia laughed. "Oh come on Fitz, you really think I don't know most of what there is to know about sex. Why are you the one embarrassed by this conversation? You're a grown man."

Fitz could not believe the turn of this conversation. "Olivia, Livvy, I'm not embarrassed but you are like a little sister to me and I would never discuss my sex life with my little sister."

"Perhaps you should so that you don't make illogical decisions like sleeping with Trish. But I suppose you were not thinking with your head, at least not the right one," Olivia said in all honesty.

"Livvy! Stop it. Let it go. I am dating Trish and we will see where it goes. So let's leave it at that", Fitz said in obvious frustration.

Olivia could tell she pushed too far. But she really felt liked that she could talk to Fitz about anything. She reasoned thought that all conversations have boundaries.

"I'm sorry Fitz. I didn't mean to pry. I just care about you and I want you to make good decisions about your life, that's all. I hope I have not made you angry. Let's change the subject. How are the wedding plans between your brother and Mellie?"

Fitz was thankful that the focus was taken off of his personal life. In truth he was ashamed of his relationship with Trish. He didn't like her; he could barely tolerate her presence. Yes he slept with her twice but she wanted it more than he did. And afterwards he always felt worse for making her think he cared about her. He knew he had to break it off soon but the trick was how to do so without looking like a jerk.

"To tell you the truth I don't know. Teddy rarely talks about it. I think he is kind of dragging his feet. As you know he doesn't really care for Mellie the way a husband should love his wife."

Olivia smiled, "I think the problem is that you two are too gorgeous for the female population." Once again Olivia recognized that she needed to lighten the conversation before she made Fitz upset with her honest observations.

Fitz was completely taken aback by her train of thought.

"What?"

"Oh please. You both know how handsome you are. I can only imagine that you step into a room and every female within a 100 foot radius loses her mind. Please don't pretend that you don't know how attractive you are to the female sex."

"Livvy, if I didn't know what you looked like I would swear you were at least 15 years older than what you really are." Fitz sighed and continued, "Yes, I know my brother and I are handsome but that is not the cause of our problems. Our problems begin and end with our Father and his unrealistic expectations of his sons."

Olivia was about to ask about Fitz' relationship, or lack thereof with his father when she heard her mother calling for her so that they could leave.

Olivia turned to Fitz, placed her hand on his arm and said, "I really value our friendship Fitz. I think of you like the big brother I never had. That is the reason I feel so comfortable speaking openly with you. I sincerely hope I did not offend or make you angry with me. I'll see you later."

Olivia kissed his cheek and took off to meet her mother. She waved to him as she got in the car and was happy that he waved back to her. _At least he's not that mad at me,_ she thought.

5


	4. Chapter 4: Trying Times

**Chapter 4 – Trying Times**

"Fitz, I don't feel well", Olivia said as she was swaying against him. She gripped Fitz' arm for support lest she fall down.

"Livvy what's wrong?" Fitz was completely holding her up. He couldn't understand because she was fine just a minute ago.

Olivia dropped her glass to the ground and slurred, "I think something's in my drink." Her last words trailed off as she fainted into Fitz' arms. The last thing she heard was Fitz bellowing her name.

During her first year of meeting the Grants, the Governor decided to start a new tradition of the  
End of Summer Barbeque at the mansion. He thought this would be a great year to start since Teddy would be marrying Mellie in the winter and this was the last year of Fitz undergraduate studies before he enlisted in the Navy. Olivia had mixed feelings about the barbeque – she was excited that she and her mother were invited but she was a bit saddened that after this year so many things were going to change. When she thought about it, Olivia was shocked at how closely woven her life was with the Grant family. Never did she think she would allow them to have a personal stake in her life. And if she was honest with herself, she would also admit that Fitz had become her closest friend. She did not fool herself to believe that he felt the same. Sure she was a friend and like a little sister but certainly not his closest friend. And to Olivia that was acceptable because what adult man would want a 14 year old girl as his closest friend. It was laughable. For her though, it seemed perfectly fine. Whenever the family was gathered, she automatically sought Fitz out to be next to him. She readily engaged him in conversation when he was quiet and when his eyes turned grey and his mood shifted, she took it upon herself to encourage him to express his feelings. She always tried to lighten his mood because she felt life was better when he was happy.

On the day of the barbeque, Olivia and Denise dressed flawlessly in summer dresses and straw hats. Denise looked at her daughter and felt such pride well up in her heart. Olivia was always a great daughter but this year – this summer – she had proven to be indispensable. Not only had the Grant family taken to her but she was focused enough to continue working in whatever capacity Denise required. Olivia only socialized with the family when Denise excused her to do so or when she insisted Olivia take a break. She never slacked or complained, in fact Olivia always requested to do more to help Denise but there were some things that Olivia just could not know about. If Olivia knew about some of the confidential matters of the family it would change her opinion of them; and she knew Olivia loved them too much to handle that information.

When they arrived at the mansion it was already abuzz with visitors – politicians and their families mingling with one another. Denise and Olivia smiled brightly behind their shades and made their way over to greet the family. They were soon separated as several politicians were insistent on her mother's attention. Olivia was fine being alone. She walked around and greeted people that she was previously acquainted with. She looked up and saw Mrs. Taylor beckoning her to come over and Olivia groaned inside. She could hide her irritation well behind her glasses and hat. She plastered on a smile and walked over.

Mrs. Taylor, the wife of Assemblyman Jeffrey Taylor, was a large Black woman who enjoyed laughing although her body parts jiggled whenever she did so. She had a son named Edison who was 2 years Olivia's senior. Olivia knew that Mrs. Taylor wanted her to be attracted to her son but Olivia did not find him to be so. She found Edison to be an irritating mommas-boy. One time she overheard him whining to his mother about something he was requesting and eventually Mrs. Taylor complied. Olivia was disgusted by the sight of a young man whining to his mother. Mrs. Taylor was sitting with other wives and Olivia hoped that maybe Edison was not present at the barbeque. But as soon as she gave Mrs. Taylor a hug in greeting she spotted Edison making his way over to her. She wanted to run quickly but knew it was rude. So she smiled and waited for Edison to make his way to her.

"Olivia, I was hoping you would be here today. You look beautiful," he said as he took her hand and kissed the back of it. The ladies sighed at a gallant display of affection. But Olivia rolled her eyes behind her glasses. She resisted the urge to wipe the back of her hand on her dress. Edison was not an attractive young man; he would only benefit from good-breeding and a well-connected family that would ensure him being matched with a beautiful girl. Edison had political aspirations to be a part of the Senate and Olivia knew that his father would guarantee he would make it. She just did not believe that they should be together simply because they were the same race and could potentially be a powerful Black couple. She wanted more for herself. If she allowed herself to be groomed to marry Edison she would be no better than the marriage arrangements enforced by the Governor on his sons.

She met Edison earlier in the summer. She had an immediate dislike of him while he seemed to want an immediate attachment to her. He was immature for a person his age. She tried to politely engage him in conversation but soon saw how irritating it was to keep that up with someone who had very little knowledge of anything besides movies and video games. It was all very trivial to Olivia. On a couple of occasions she initiated a discussion with him in the presence of Teddy and Fitz. She asked him questions to get his thoughts on relevant, current issues. In the end, Olivia had once again showed up his ignorance of important matters. When he walked away, both Teddy and Fitz burst out in laughter.

"Livvy, you really are too much", Teddy had said.

"That poor kid has no idea. He actually thinks you like him," Fitz mused.

"God save us from ignorant men," Olivia said as she walked away leaving Teddy and Fitz laughing harder.

"Why don't you two kids go and enjoy this wonderful California weather?" Mrs. Taylor said shaking Olivia from her thoughts.

Olivia was about to make up some excuse but Edison eagerly agreed before she could say anything. "Shall we Olivia", Edison said. Olivia knew he could act the part of a gentleman but there was something else there. She knew there was another side of him that he did not let others readily observe. It was a part of his personality that was not so nice. Her gut told her to remain guarded in his presence.

"So when do you go back to DC?" Edison asked.

"I leave in a couple of weeks. It will be a sad time for me, I will hate to leave."

"Well if you give me your phone number we can keep in touch and it would be like you never left at all", Edison offered.

Olivia could not fathom why he would think she would miss him. What signals could she have given off to encourage him? She knew she didn't; Edison just believed that she had to like him.

"I don't think so."

"Maybe we should go out on a date first then you can give me your number and let me kiss you."

"Edison, I'm too young to date anyone."

"Olivia everyone knows you are more mature than your age. You might as well be my age. And I'm sure your mother would let you. I've already told my mother and father that I want to date you so they could talk to your mother if it would help."

"Edison you misunderstood so I will be more clear – I do not **want** to date right now."

"Olivia, let's just be honest. I know you like me, so stop pretending. Do you know how many girls want to date me? But I'm asking you. You should feel honored."

Olivia was so offended by him that she felt nauseous. But she continued to hide her feelings behind her sunglasses. He mistakenly took this as his cue to continue.

"So before you leave for DC we'll go out for a couple of times before letting everyone know you're my girlfriend." Edison was so proud of how he worked it out. It was true that many girls wanted to date him, he knew was a good catch. Olivia would have to be stupid not to take him up on his offer.

Olivia opened her mouth to respond but before she could say anything, Edison put his hand on her arm to stop her walking, "you look thirsty, let me get you something to drink. Don't move."

When he left, Olivia scanned the guests looking for her mother or Fitz or Teddy. Someone she could escape to. She did not like the turn of this conversation. Edison was too sure of himself, too firm in his resolve. It was clear that he always got his way and she didn't want him to get his way with her. She couldn't find anyone before Edison reappeared with a cool drink.

"Here you are, lovely lady."

Olivia accepted the drink and took a sip. At that moment she spotted Fitz standing in the shade talking with a crowd of his friends.

"You know Edison; I just remembered something I have to do. Will you excuse me for a moment? When I return, we can continue this conversation."

"Ok I'll meet you in the family room," Edison smiled in a strange way as he watched her walk away.

_Dear God what an idiot_, Olivia thought. She continued to make her way to Fitz. It was warm out so she was thankful for the drink Edison brought her. But as she continued to drink, she began to feel warmth overtake her and she felt faint. When she reached Fitz, he turned and smiled at her. But she couldn't return the smile; she was starting to feel horrible. Before she knew it, everything was going dark and Fitz was yelling her name.

Olivia opened her eyes to see the entire Grant clan and her mother standing over the bed and staring at her. Everyone seemed to sigh in relief when she opened her eyes. Her mother was sitting next to the bed holding Olivia's hand. She spoke first, "Livvy baby are you okay? How do you feel sweetheart?"

Olivia struggled to sit up in the bed and when she paused and grimaced, Fitz reached to out to support her. He ended up sitting on the bed and propping her back up against his chest. "My head is still swimming a bit but I'm okay. I've never fainted before, it's an interesting experience."

"Here drink this water," Fitz commanded her. Olivia obeyed not realizing how thirsty she really was.

"I'm really quite fine now. I think I just need to rest a bit. It must have been the heat of the day and I had not eaten yet either." Olivia hoped her words would sooth everyone, eliminating any worry in her behalf. For Governor Grant and his wife it did, they smiled and said they would leave Olivia to rest.

After they left the room, Fitz spoke up, "Livvy before you fainted you said something was in your drink. Where did you get the drink from?"

Olivia closed her eyes, regretting that she said that to him. She knew Edison put something in her drink but she didn't want to cause a big situation over it. She preferred to just let it go and pretend it never happened. Teddy, Fitz and her mother were staring at her waiting for an answer.

"I must have been delirious. Mom, really I'm fine just let me rest a bit before we go home." Fitz was worrying her mother and Olivia was trying to hint to him to stop talking about it.

"Ok but I still called a doctor to come out and check on you. I'll go downstairs and wait for him." Denise shot a look to Fitz and Teddy then left the room.

Teddy closed the door.

"Livvy, what the hell happened?" Teddy said. He was angry but trying not to let it show.

"Teddy, don't upset my mother or your parents. I don't want to make a bigger situation of it then it really is. I'm ok now. All is well."

"Someone spiked your drink didn't they?" Fitz bluntly asked. He sounded calm but Olivia could feel his heart beating rapidly behind her back. She knew he was seething.

When she didn't answer, Fitz continued, "I saw you with Edison earlier, he brought you the drink didn't he?"

Olivia never answered but she could see Teddy and Fitz communicating silently with each other. They were both frowning but she could tell through their facial expressions that they were working out how they would be handling the situation. Olivia was suddenly worried about what they would do.

"Please, don't say or do anything. Please just leave it alone." Then Olivia thought, _maybe if I cry they will do what I want._ She started to try and tear up. She began to sniffle and wipe her non-existent tears. But Fitz wasn't buying it.

"Livvy, stop it, you don't cry. You're faking to get us to do what you say. It's not working."

Teddy was ashamed that he almost bought the act. He was surprised to find that Fitz knew Olivia a lot better than he did.

Olivia sighed heavily and stopped her act. "Alright, fine. But really, Teddy and Fitz, I would be very embarrassed if you did something. I can't prove what he did. I could very well be wrong. I don't want to accuse someone of something when I don't have all the facts. So let's just leave it. Thank you both for your concern and help but can I please get some rest now."

Fitz eased her off his chest so she could lie back down. "Ok we'll let you get some rest." Teddy wanted to say more but Fitz shook his head and escorted him out the room.

When they left, Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. She fell asleep before she realized how tired she was.

Teddy and Fitz found their father in his study. They called for Denise to join them there. "What's up boys", the Governor said.

"What have you found out?" Denise inquired. She didn't at all believe that Olivia fainted from the heat, something else was going on.

"Edison spiked Livvy's drink," Fitz said bluntly and paused to allow this information to sink in.

"I should have never brought her here. This was a mistake", Denise said as she sat down on the couch.

"So what are we going to do about it?" Teddy asked looking to his father for an answer.

The Governor ran his hand through his hair. He looked at Denise and then his two sons. He knew they would hate what he was about to say, "Nothing".

"Ok what's plan B because that is clearly not going to happen," Fitz said sarcastically.

"Son, I'm guessing you didn't see him do it. There is no evidence to support this accusation. We can't go around accusing an Assemblyman's son of drugging Livvy."

The Governor went to Denise and held her hand, "You know what I'm saying is right Denise. Think about it. All it would serve is to ignite a scandal with your daughter at the center of the storm. I know you don't want that. None of us do. We just need to be thankful that nothing further happened to endanger Livvy. Don't mistake my words; I'm very sorry that something like this happened under my roof."

"I know. I understand. You are right," Denise whispered.

"No," Fitz yelled. "He was planning on raping her. Don't you get that? It's the only reason a girl's drink gets drugged; so the guy can have sex with her when she's under the influence. Are you telling me you're ok with what he was about to do?" Fitz was getting louder and louder. He couldn't believe they were going to sweep this under the rug.

Denise stood up and walked to Fitz. She put her hand to his face and calmly explained, "I get it Fitz I really do. And I'm so thankful that Livvy has protectors like you and Teddy to look after her. Nothing like that happened. So we all have to work harder to make sure this boy gets nowhere near my daughter in the future. But you know that your dad is right. It's really our word against Edison's."

Fitz ran his hand through his hair and looked around the room. Sometimes he really hated the world he lived in. He turned and left the study. Teddy followed after him.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore Teddy."

Before Teddy could say anything else, they saw Assemblyman Taylor and his wife making their way over to them. "So how's our lovely Olivia faring?" the Assemblyman asked. Teddy put his hand on Fitz arm to prevent him from speaking.

Teddy, who was more of the politician, spoke up with a smile in his voice, "thankfully she is okay. The heat can be too much sometimes especially if you are not properly hydrated." Teddy's answer seemed to satisfy the Assemblyman and his wife.

Mrs. Taylor asked, "Have you seen Edison? We have to leave now and we have been looking for him for the last 10 minutes. I'm sure he is worried about Olivia too."

And with those words, Fitz ran back into the house. He took the stairs two and three at a time. He knew Teddy was behind him but he couldn't wait for him. He had to get to Olivia's room. When he got there his heart sank, there was now a light coming from underneath the bedroom door and he could tell someone was in there with her. Fitz forced the door open so hard that it banged against the wall. Olivia was sleep on the bed and Edison was standing over her moving the bed covers down. Teddy reached the room and witnessed the horrifying sight. He knew too, that Edison was about to rape Olivia. Before Teddy could react, Fitz was on Edison. Fitz grabbed him and threw him against the wall. Edison slumped against the wall and slid to the floor. He had the wind knocked out of him.

Fitz went to Olivia who looked worse than how he and Teddy previously left her. "Livvy are you okay? Look at me, are you okay?"

"Fitz? Why do I feel worse than before? Everything is spinning and I can't move. What happened to me?"

"You bastard, you drugged her again," Teddy yelled. Teddy was about to grab Edison but Fitz left the bed and beat him to it. Fitz began pummeling Edison to an extent that Teddy thought he would kill him. He struggled to get Fitz off of the boy. Blood was everywhere – blood from Edison's face and blood from Fitz knuckles. Just then the Governor and Denise appeared in the doorway.

"What the hell is going on?" the Governor asked. Denise ran to her daughter and discovered that she was drugged again. She cried out, "Oh my god, Livvy!"

"When Fitz and I got here, Edison was already in the room about to rape her. He drugged her again."

The Governor looked at the boy slumped on the floor bloodied and bruised. Then he looked at Fitz who was being held back by Teddy. There was such anger in Fitz' eyes and it appeared to now be directed at him. He knew Fitz' anger could get out of control and he had hoped to avoid a situation like this.

"Ok, Teddy go downstairs and get the Assemblyman and his wife and tell them to meet me in the study. Fitzgerald go to the bathroom and clean yourself up. You need to calm down." He raised his hand when Fitz was about to speak. "I know, I know, I understand what happened here, but right now I need you to calm down."

Fitz looked at Olivia who appeared so weak and frail in the bed. He sighed and left the room to do what he was told.

When the room was clear, the Governor assessed Edison and could tell that he was not conscious. He then looked to Denise and asked, "Ok how do you want to handle this?"

7


	5. Chapter 5: Crisis Management

**I am very humbled and thankful for all the reviews and follows. I had no idea whether or not you would enjoy the story. I'm so glad that you do. Please continue to leave feedback. It helps me to be better. Thank you all for your support. **

**Chapter 5 – Crisis Management**

The Governor repeated, "Counselor, how do you want to handle this?"

Denise knew he was trying to get her attention but she couldn't take her eyes from her daughter. Olivia looked so fragile, so vulnerable. She had almost become someone's victim; scarred for life by the cruel act of another person. Denise had failed to protect her. Denise knew she was bringing Olivia into a world that was filled with vultures used to devouring unsuspecting prey. She had foolishly failed to prepare Olivia for these types of people. Denise had learned through trial and error – often painful situations that taught her to develop the strength necessary to navigate successfully in the circles of wicked people. But once she learned one lesson she never forgot it. And now she was not wise enough to give Olivia even a portion of what she learned. Dense was lulled into a false sense of security at the Governor's mansion. The Grant family loved and protected Olivia and Denise naively thought their love would be enough to shield Olivia from the predators circling on the outside.

Denise knew that the beauty in women sometimes made men, even boys, do horrible things – usually for the single reason of possession. Even though Olivia was a young girl, her beauty still affected men. Denise usually yielded a protective eye over Olivia when she as in the presence of men. She wanted Olivia to maintain her innocence of the ugliness of the world for as long as possible. But now, in this house that was such a haven for her, Olivia was almost the recipient of the most detestable act committed on a woman. _Why wasn't I paying attention?_ Denise kept asking herself. But she knew the answer, she was paying more attention to Gerry than she was to her own daughter. She didn't know how she could forgive herself for once again allowing her feelings for Gerry to overwhelm her thoughts to her own detriment.

Denise was pulled from her thoughts when there was a light knock at the door. The Governor opened the door to find the doctor present. Teddy had escorted him to the room. "Hello Dr. Stevens, thank you for the house call. We have had a difficult situation arise and we must again ask for your discretion and confidence."

"Of course Governor."

"Come in Teddy, where is your brother?" The Governor asked.

"I sent him to take a walk. He was still too riled up."

The Governor nodded in agreement. Then he turned to address the doctor. "Dr. Stevens, Mitch, our girl Livvy is the victim of being drugged by this boy you see lying here. She appears to have been drugged twice by this boy apparently the second time being a stronger dose."

Dr. Mitchell Stevens served the Grant family for many years. It was never a surprise to him to be called to their home to address some type of situation. He had learned long ago to never be shocked by whatever was occurring with the family and he also understood the need for confidentiality. He would never break the trust of the family. He looked at Denise Pope and felt such sadness for her to have her daughter caught in this situation. He walked over and gave a reaffirming squeeze to Denise's shoulder.

Denise looked up at him, "Thank you for coming. It's good to see you again Mitch, I wish it was under better circumstances."

"Of course, it is not a problem." He then looked back to the Governor and Teddy. "Might I suggest we move this young man to a different room? I can check him out once I'm done here. "

The Governor and Teddy began to pick up Edison from the floor and settle him in another bedroom. Dr. Stevens asked Denise to step away so that he could properly examine Olivia. Denise stepped away and began to pace the floor. He pulled open Olivia's eyelids and he could immediately tell that she had in fact been drugged. He performed a superficial examination of her body and was sure there were no other injuries. The drug had not appeared to take a toxic affect so he did not think it was necessary to pump her stomach. He called her name very loudly, "Olivia, Olivia, can you hear me?"

Olivia moved her head from side to side and mumbled inaudibly.

He tried again, "Olivia, Olivia, I need you to answer me."

Although her eyes remained closed, Olivia began to speak lowly, "Fitz, get him away from me. I don't like him. Fitz, help me. Take him away."

Denise stopped her pacing and looked over. She caught Dr. Stevens' eye and said, "He really is her protector." Denise gave a small smile at the thought.

"Ok Olivia I'm going to give you something to make you feel better. I'm Dr. Stevens, I'm here to take care of you okay."

Olivia was still thrashing, "No, no. I don't want anything else. No"

Denise walked over to her daughter. "Livvy baby, the doctor is here to help you honey. He will make you feel better. He needs you to drink this so you can get better."

Olivia continued to move her head from side to side to avoid whatever it was that they were trying to give her, "No, no".

Fitz walked in the room to check on Olivia. "What's going on?" He asked in a whisper.

The doctor never took his eyes from Olivia and stated, "We need her to drink this and take this medication but she won't settle down. We may have to hold her down."

"No, let me try," Fitz said as he walked over. He picked Olivia and settled her back against his chest. It was the same position he held her in previously. He then began to rub her arms to give her comfort.

"Livvy, its Fitz. I need you to take something so you can get better. I want you to get better so you can get out of this bed."

"I don't want anything else, Fitz. I'm scared," she pleaded.

"I know Livvy, I know but this something you need. I promise. Can you take it for me, please?"

Olivia visibly relaxed in Fitz' arms. The doctor took his cue and administered the tonic and the medication.

"Thank you Livvy," Fitz said as he continued to stroke her arms. Olivia sighed and snuggled closer in Fitz arms.

The doctor stood up and put away his utensils. He said, "Well she won't have any permanent damage. Sad to say, I have seen this many times before with young girls. It often happens at clubs and bars when someone has slipped something in their drinks. Believe me it often ends in a much worse situation. It could have been a lot worse for this little one too. She will recover in a couple of days. Keep her hydrated and make sure she eats something by breakfast time if not before. She will need to stay here. I don't advise moving her. I trust that will not be a problem?"

"No it will not," Fitz answered.

It was then that the doctor noticed Fitz hand. "Would you like me to look at our hand Fitzgerald? Did you break anything?"

"I'm fine doctor. It's not my first rodeo, remember."

Dr. Stevens just nodded in agreement. He knew too well that Fitzgerald had a temper that sometimes ended in some type of violent altercation.

"Ok then I will go to the young man and check his condition."

"I don't care how he feels. He leaves this house tonight. Call an ambulance if you need to, but he will not stay under the same roof as Livvy." Fitz warned.

The doctor nodded that he understood and exited the room.

Fitz could see that Denise' mind was working overtime on how to fix the situation. "Livvy comes first."

"What?" Denise asked.

"Your mind is working on damage control. But I need to know that you won't let him convince you to put the Grant family name and reputation first. He'll try to convince you to spin it to minimize the scandal especially to me. It won't look good that the 21 year old son of the Governor just beat up a 16 year old boy. It won't look good that a 14 year old girl was almost sexually assaulted in the Governor's mansion. He will make you focus on protecting the family. But I need you to focus on Livvy."

Denise should have been offended that Fitz would even think she wouldn't put Livvy first, but she was not. She knew Fitz was speaking of the power and influence Gerry had on her. Fitz knew how much she cared for Gerry. Fitz was really the only one in the family who knew. She remained silent, looking back and forth from Fitz to Olivia and back again.

"I know the sacrifice you made for my family at the detriment of your own happiness. And every time you come here, it must be like re-opening wounds. I know you love Big Gerry. I know you love this family. But Denise, this family, my Father is like a cancer. Once you let him into your system; he spreads until he takes over everything. You can't let him do that with Livvy."

"I know Fitz. Thank you for caring for my daughter and for me. I made you a promise several years ago and I won't break it. I can't break it. Please know that I will do what is best for my daughter, above all else."

She bent her head and kissed Olivia's cheek.

"Have you calmed down enough to come to the study? I think I could use your support with the Taylor family."

Fitz almost refused, preferring to stay with Olivia but decided that Denise needed him in the study. "Alright, I will get the nurse to sit with her."

Once Olivia was settled, Fitz and Denise joined everyone else in the study.

Fitz cocked and eyebrow and looked at Denise when they heard laughter coming from the study. Fitz tried not to get irritated but it threatened to boil over. Denise saw his mood change and put her hand on his arm. She gave him a reassuring smile to let him know that she had not forgotten their earlier conversation. He sighed and opened the door.

"Fitzgerald, Denise come in sit down. The Assemblyman and his wife were just letting us know how their son was progressing in his studies," the Governor said with a wide grin.

Teddy was in the study as well but he sat in the corner as a quiet observer. To be true, he couldn't really stomach the conversation or the joyful banter his father fostered with the Taylors. He thought it best to stay quiet before he said anything improper.

After they sat, the Governor began, "So Taylor as you know our children got into a little situation tonight. I'm sure you agree that we don't want to turn this situation into a scandal. That wouldn't benefit any of us in this room. So we need to resolve this matter amongst ourselves."

Mrs. Taylor's eyes darted over the room. She said, "but where is Edison, I thought he would be joining us."

Denise straightened and stood in the front of the room. In her firm, authoritative voice, she started, "Edison will not be joining us in this conversation, and neither will Olivia. In truth neither of them are well enough to come down at this moment although I'm sure it would be preferable that Edison exit this house immediately after this discussion. It is believed that Edison drugged Olivia twice this evening in an attempt to limit her ability to resist his advances when he subsequently tried to rape her. Fitzgerald and Theodore walked in the bedroom just in time to prevent Edison from sexually assaulting her. From the look on both of your faces and the lack of shock to this information, I can easily believe that this is not the first time Edison has committed this act. In fact, by my count, I would say that had he succeeded with Olivia this would have been his 6th time. Have you considered getting him professional treatment?"

Denise commanded the room when she spoke and all everyone could do was stare. Mrs. Taylor looked as if she wanted to say something; she kept opening and closing her mouth. She couldn't find the right words. She looked to her husband but all he was staring at Denise.

Denise continued, moving her gaze between Mr. and Mrs. Taylor. "So the way it stands we all have a choice here. I would imagine that some of us would simply prefer to pretend that this never happened and leave here to get on with the rest of our lives. Unfortunately that is not going to happen. Your son, Edison, is a criminal and should be prosecuted. However, in the interest of my client, Olivia Pope, I can safely say that she would not want to press charges and suffer through the ordeal of a legal battle. So I propose this. Edison will record an apology addressed to Olivia and we expect that video within 2 days' time. His statement must contain an admission of all he did and attempted to do. You will send Edison out of the state, wherever you wish, with the exception of Washington DC. You may elect to send him to a boarding school to finish out his term or to any school of your choice. He cannot come back to California for 2 years, when he is 18. When he does come back he is not allowed in any locality where Olivia Pope will be. That means if you or he hears of Olivia's presence at a function, you will need to either leave Edison at home or choose to excuse yourself from attending. I could also recommend that you take Edison to counseling for his condition but my influence does not extend to your parenting skills. I will of course be drafting up an agreement addressing these matters for you and your wife to sign."

Denise paused and allowed Edison's parents to understand the full weight of her words.

"Can we at least discuss this alone, together?"

"Here's the thing Assemblyman, the hour is growing late and the doctor is being paid to address your son's wounds. He will be done momentarily and Edison will be escorted from this property. By the time that happens if you have not verbally agreed to these conditions the deal will be off the table. Please understand if you choose to reject this arrangement - and you have every right to do so - it will not go well for either your or your son. There is enough information available about your personal extracurricular activities and less than stellar business deals to make your lives very hard. And that kind of sensitive information is easily leaked to the press and will severely hinder any political standing your or your son will have in the future. Additionally, I spoke of the 5 girls that Edison previously assaulted in the same manner. I want to make sure you understand that I know these girls; I know where to locate them and I know how to enlist their cooperation in the prosecution of your son. I do not say these things to threaten or blackmail you; I say them because they are fact. I think you both know what I can do. I am serious in what I say here and will not hesitate to make good on the actions I have described. So I ask what choice you would like to make?"

The Assemblyman and his wife looked at each other for several minutes. Mrs. Taylor began to tear up. The Assemblyman cleared his throat and stood. "We agree."

Denise shook both him and his wife's hand. "Thank you for your cooperation. I'm sure this arrangement will work best for all parties involved. The agreement will be drafted tomorrow and express delivered to your office for your signatures. Please be sure to have the original delivered to my office by the end of the week."

They both said, "thank you."

"Now I suggest that you wait in your car and we will send Edison out to you so that you can take him home."

The Taylors did as Denise instructed.

When they left, the Governor spoke up, "Teddy, can you please check and see if Edison is ready to leave this house?" Teddy left the room.

Fitz addressed Denise, "I apologize if it sounded as though I doubted your intentions. You obviously know how to handle these types of situations."

"Yes I do. But you're never prepared for the time when your own daughter is involved."

"I'm just mad that we didn't know he had done this so many times before. We would have never allowed him to come here earlier this summer."

"Well I really have no idea how many girls there have or have not been in the past. Five seemed like a good number to pitch. I figured my guess would either illicit their cooperation or force them to deny it and reveal the true number of victims. I had no clue about Edison's past until I looked in their eyes when I told them what he had done. Their eyes showed that they had been through this with him before."

Denise next turned to the Governor, "By the way I will be putting an extra clause in the agreement. If I hear of Edison doing this again or if he attempts to assault Olivia, I go to the police. I don't care what type of problems it will cause for this household or for mine."

The Governor frowned but nodded his head in agreement.

"The doctor recommended that Olivia stay here a couple of days, so I'm afraid that we will have to infringe on your hospitality a bit longer. I'm going back home to pick up our things and I will be back tonight, if I could please have the room next to Livvy's I would appreciate it."

Fitz spoke up, "I'll let the housekeeper know to prepare the room for you. Thank you Denise." He left the room.

"You can breathe now," the Governor stated when they were alone.

Denise sighed heavily. "I know you can always tell. But it went well, just as I needed it to go. Thank you for not interrupting or contradicting the arrangement. There was no time to speak to you about it first."

"I trust you. I knew you would come up with a viable solution." He paused and looked at her intently. "You haven't stayed under this roof in years. I'm sorry it's not under better circumstances. I know I've invited you to stay countless times." His voice had lowered seductively.

"Well if it were not for Livvy I would not be staying here now."

"Do you think you can join me for nightcap before you turn in?"

"I don't think so."

"Denise, what's the harm in a drink between friends."

"There is no harm if that is all you and I are. You know we have been much more than that. I am not going down that path again. You and I can only work in an official capacity. That is it. I love you and I love this family but I made a promise and I fully intend to keep it. If you feel that is too hard for you, I can find a hotel."

"No, I will abide by your wishes. I won't push you." He walked closer to her, invading her personal space, "But Denise, I made a promise too. A promise to myself that one day, no matter how far away it is, you and I and this thing we have will no longer exist in the past or in our imaginations. It will be real. And until then I will wait for you. And just like you, I get what I want."

He left the room.

"Of that, I have no doubt, Governor, no doubt at all," Denise said to the empty room.


	6. Chapter 6: Changes Part 1

**Hello all. I am so thankful for all of the follows and reviews I have received. I honestly did not know whether anyone would like this story and I'm happy to see that you do. This chapter turned out rather long, so I split it up into to two. There is a part one and a part two but I'm posting both today. Hope you enjoy it. Please let me know your thoughts. **

**Side note: In re-reading the previous chapters I notice that I've made the mistake of spelling Big Gerry in two different ways. Sorry about that, I will try to be more consistent going forward.**

**Chapter 6 – Changes (Part I)**

After 2 days of recuperation, Olivia felt much better. She convinced Fitz to relay everything that happened the day of the Summer Barbeque because he was reluctant to provide anything other than superficial details. She was determined to get the specifics since her mother too was only trying to satisfy her curiosity with a vague account of the incident. She did recall hearing a scuffle in the room which she assumed was the fight Fitz had with Edison – the one part she wished she had seen. She thought it would have been thoroughly entertaining. She almost made Fitz recount that particular part of the story twice but she could tell he was not proud of his actions so she decided not to make him relive it again.

He insisted on being present when she viewed Edison's taped apology. So Denise, the Governor, Fitz and Teddy were all present with he to watch and she was shocked to see Edison's damaged and bruised face appear on the screen. She shot a look at Fitz who looked embarrassed by his handiwork. When he saw Olivia's smile of approval, he shook his head at her. She supposed that Fitz expected her to be upset at him for what he did to Edison but she only felt proud to have him protecting her. Hearing what Edison planned to do sent a chill down Olivia's spine. She had underestimated him; she told herself to keep her guard up but had failed to do so. She didn't blame anyone but herself for her naiveté. It was a lesson to be learned and a lesson she would not forget ever.

In the final days of summer, her mother did not take her back to the Grant household. She knew her mother felt bad for the situation that occurred, despite Olivia's continued assurances that she did not think her mother could have done anything to prevent what happened. She believed that her mother was trying to protect her from the harsh memories of the incident in the Governor's mansion. In actuality, it had the opposite effect. Olivia never felt more secure than when she was in the Grant household. She couldn't describe it but although she knew she would never come to harm at her mother or father's home, being with the Grant family was just different. She felt part of a large family that would love her and protect her no matter what. The feeling was awesome. So when her mother refused to take her on her trips to the mansion, she could not help the feeling of sadness that came over her. She tried to occupy her mind with the various tasks she was given to do at the law firm but no matter how busy she got, she kept wondering how everyone was faring. She hoped Fitz didn't feel bad for the incident. She hoped Teddy was feeling some sort of happiness about his future. She hoped Mrs. Grant was not over-tiring herself. She hoped the Governor was not irritating his sons.

When it was time to head back to DC, Olivia convinced her mother to at least let her call the Grant family and say goodbye. She spoke to Mrs. Grant first, who was overjoyed to hear from Olivia and saddened that she could not see her in person to say goodbye. Olivia made an excuse that there was just no time left for her to come to the mansion. She did not know just how much Mrs. Grant knew about the incident so she kept her responses vague. Mrs. Grant promised to write to Olivia and obtained the address to her father's home. This thrilled Olivia who admitted that she would very much enjoy hearing about the goings–on of the Grant household. She asked to speak to Teddy and Fitz but unfortunately they were working with the Governor today and would not be home before she boarded her flight. Olivia sighed heavily into the phone and sadly expressed how sorry she was that she could not at least hear their voices before she left. Mrs. Grant promised to tell them both that she called and said goodbye.

When her mother took her to the airport, she hugged Olivia tightly and said, "Livvy you've grown so much in this past summer, in some ways quicker than I would have wanted you to. But regardless I can never stop saying how proud I am of you. I know you don't care to celebrate your birthday but I haven't forgotten that it's coming up next month and you will be 15. I know you are changing and growing. If you haven't already I know that you will be developing feelings for boys soon – boys that are not like Edison," Denise qualified. She then continued, "We've had the sex talk before, but I need you to promise me that if something happens before you come back to me and you feel like you want to take a relationship with a boy to another level you call me so that I can make sure you are prepared. Promise me, Livvy." When Olivia nodded her head in agreement, Denise hugged her again. She always hated sending Olivia back to the east coast. "I wish you didn't have to go. I love you so much Livvy and I want you here with me all the time. But I made an agreement with your father and I know that this is best. So please, baby, take care of yourself. Remember everything I have taught you and never forget the strength you have inside."

Denise was fighting back tears and Olivia knew how much she hated to cry. So she hugged her quickly and said, "I love you momma and I'll miss you. I'll call you when I get home."

Olivia settled back into her DC life slower than usual. It was because the summer had changed everything for her. She had new people in her life that she cared for and worried about. She told her father stories about the Grant family but she was careful to leave out the Edison incident. It was clear that her mother had not said anything so she didn't bring it up primarily because she was afraid her father would ban her from going back to see the family she had come to adore. Her father encouraged her stories but whenever she mentioned the Governor her father visibly tensed. She didn't know why but it seemed that her father did not like the Governor at all. She supposed they may have met when they all used to live in California before the parents' divorce but she did not inquire. She thought it might be a painful subject and did not want to cause her father any sadness.

She soon started receiving letters from Mrs. Grant and Olivia tore through them with an eagerness to soak up all the details of the family. She found out that Fitz was back at school in Massachusetts and Teddy was running for office in the state government. The Governor was trying to convince Teddy that he should marry Mellie as soon as possible because it would look better if he was a married candidate. But Teddy refused to marry her before Fitz could come home for the holidays. In subsequent letters she learned that Teddy had moved out of the mansion soon after winning the election to his position in the California State Assembly. Olivia always wrote back giving details of the happenings in her own life, although there was little to tell. She wrote back to congratulate Teddy on his appointment and more importantly to standing his ground regarding his pending marriage to Mellie.

She couldn't wait to see everyone during the holiday break but her plans were derailed when she found out her father made other arrangements. He had spoken to her mother and they agreed that he could take her to Paris during the winter break. Apart of Olivia was upset that these arrangements were made without consulting her but then she always wanted to see Paris and her father appeared so excited to take her that she couldn't bear to disappoint him. Her father told her that she could bring a friend from school to join them but Olivia didn't have anyone that she felt close enough to bring with them. She had some friends at school but no one that she was closely connected with and definitely no best friends. The only close friend she had was Fitz and she had not talked to him for months. She wished he could come but then shook her head at her foolish thought when she considered that he was a grown man enjoying his time in college who did not want to tour Paris with a child. She missed him most of all and wished she could contrive a reason to see him at school but she could not. Plus the fact that her father did not know her strong connection to him and would probably not approve of it anyway.

Her trip to Paris with her father was beautiful but initially uneventful. She loved seeing the historical and romantic sights; even people-watching from sidewalk cafes gave her a wonderful sense of being. But nothing compared to the joy she felt from viewing the works of art at the Louvre museum. She could sit and admire the brilliant artwork for hours at a time. When her father detected her keen interest, he solicited a personal tour guide to address any questions Olivia had regarding the background of the paintings, the artists and the period represented. Olivia soaked up all the information she could and still yearned for more. She loved the painting of the _"Empress Josephine" _by Pierre Paul-Prud'hon (1805). It was a simple painting of a woman relaxed, contented and surrounded by trees. Olivia thought the woman looked like she was in love. She had such a sense of peace about her as if she waiting for her lover to arrive, an idea that the tour guide could neither confirm or deny. It didn't matter whether or not it was true; Olivia thought it to be so. And as she sat there alone in her thoughts, she began to wish she was in love with someone. She wanted to feel like the woman in the painting. She wanted to feel relaxed, contented and at peace knowing that someone loved and cherished her. She had never felt that need before but when it came, it nearly overpowered her as she now felt incomplete without it.

Her father made sure she saw all the popular tourists' spots in the city. He wanted the trip to be memorable for his daughter. He wanted her to have an experience that most girls could only dream about and he was proud to have shared it with her. He knew the trip would only serve to enhance Olivia's knowledge of the world and help shape her into an insightful, cultured woman.

By the time they returned home, they were both exhausted. Olivia thanked her father over and over again for the trip of a lifetime. His heart was moved by her expression of appreciation but he couldn't help but notice a change in Olivia that he had not observed before. She seemed to have grown even more during the trip and it almost made him wonder whether something happened to spark the change. But he dismissed the idea since he was with Olivia most of the time and would have known if anything unusual occurred. In the end, he excused it as a normal part of her growth into maturity.

Once she called and related the details of her trip to her mother, Olivia couldn't wait to write Mrs. Grant and tell her too. She wrote a 5 page letter to her. Before mailing it, Olivia chided herself for being too wordy but then thought Mrs. Grant would enjoy hearing about everything she experienced. She was a little surprised that during the time she was gone, no letters had arrived from Mrs. Grant; she would have usually received one by now but Olivia assumed that she just got too busy. She knew she was being unrealistic in expecting a quick response from Mrs. Grant but got worried when weeks went by with no letters. She did not want to appear to be impatient so she waited several more weeks.

Then one evening she decided to call the residence. She was careful of the time change so that she would not disturb Mrs. Grant while she was sleeping. Olivia had a feeling that something was wrong and she needed to hear her voice to confirm that her suspicions were wrong. It was a Saturday evening in February and Olivia was admiring the snow fall outside, while the Grant phone continued to ring. The person who answered was the one person she wanted to talk to above all.

"Hello"

"Fitz, hi it's Olivia, Livvy."

"Oh hey Livvy, how are you? It seems like I haven't spoken to you in ages."

"That's because it has been ages and you don't call and you don't write. Never mind forget I said that; I sound like a nagging ex-girlfriend trying to get back with you."

Fitz laughed at her comment.

"I forgot how nice it is to talk to you."

"Well, thanks. So what's going on with you? Why are you at home, shouldn't you be in school."

"Yes, but I took a couple days off to come and see mom. She's not doing too well Livvy. She had a bit of a scare a couple weeks back and she seems to be going downhill."

"Oh Fitz, I'm so sorry. I knew something was wrong when I didn't get any response from my letters. She usually writes me back by now. Do you think she will get well?"

"I hope so. I just try to make her feel as comfortable as possible...So I saw your letter. Hope you don't mind I opened it and read it to mom. I thought it might lift her spirits."

Olivia quickly tried to remember what all she wrote in the letter.

"Mmmm, well I guess it's too late to care whether you read it or not. I just hope the ramblings of a 15 year old girl didn't make you turn red from blushing."

"Well, I have to say that I was surprised to read a full two pages on the subject of love and your feelings about a particular painting." Olivia could tell Fitz was desperately trying to restrain himself from laughing.

But when she groaned audibly, he let go and laughed loudly. "Fitz, let me explain something to you. A woman's thoughts are private and if she chooses to share them with you then you should feel honored and privileged. You never laugh at her. You encourage her candidness and assure her that her thoughts are meaningful. I hope you learn that lesson before you get married to some poor girl who only likes you for your good looks but cries because you are insensitive to her feelings" Olivia's rapid speech was meant to highlight her irritation, which only served to cause Fitz to keep laughing.

"Livvy, don't be upset, I was only joking. It was just different side to you that I had never seen. So are you dating someone?" Fitz asked and when Olivia remained quiet, he continued, "Oh so I guess it's ok for you to ask about my personal life and sex habits but I can't ask about yours?"

"No it's not that. It's just that….I do like someone but before now I had never said it out loud or admitted to myself that he was special. He's a guy in my school; I have him in several of my classes. I know he likes me but I'm a little hesitant. I'm trying to allow time for instincts to kick in."

"Instincts?"

"Yes. I'm not going to date someone I don't know well or I feel has the hidden agenda of just wanting to sleep with me. I haven't been a virgin this long to just let anyone take it away from me. Besides, before that even happens I really need to get on the pill or some sort of…."

Fitz interrupted, "Whoa, whoa, wait Livvy. I am definitely not comfortable with this conversation. I don't want to talk about you giving up your virginity to some senior kid at school. We are friends and I think of you like a sister but conversations have boundaries."

Olivia sighed heavily, "I'm sorry I get a little carried away talking to you. It's just that I've missed our talks and there isn't really anyone else I feel comfortable expressing myself to."

Fitz felt bad because he could hear he disappointment. Olivia could tell through the phone that he was running his hands through his hair.

"Alright, alright. Tell me about your friend but try to filter your words. Use euphemisms or figures of speech or something. This is a new role for me and I need to get used to it slowly."

Olivia was thrilled. She didn't know how much she missed him until that moment. She was so happy that he let her talk about her personal life because it was true; there were certain things that she could not tell her mother or father about. It just did not feel right. But she felt like she could say anything to Fitz without fear of shame, embarrassment or consequences. They talked on the phone for another hour covering various topics. Olivia was starved for updates on what was going on in the household and drained Fitz for information. She had mixed feelings when Fitz told her that Teddy postponed his wedding again due to their mother's illness. While she never cared for Mellie, she didn't want the girl to be strung along waiting for Teddy. Fitz finally had to remind her how late it was on west coast time. Before getting off the phone he told her that he would be graduating at the end of the school year and her and her mother were invited to come to the graduation. Olivia couldn't wait to see how handsome he would look in his cap and gown and told him so, which prompted him to laugh at her again. He suggested that she keep writing to his mother because he could tell that she looked forward to hearing from Olivia. Fitz ended the call by suggesting that Olivia not jump into a relationship that she was not comfortable with; there was no rush. He knew she wanted to be in love but she was too beautiful to accept any guy that came her way. Love would find her eventually. Olivia was so overwhelmed by his comment that all she could say to him was "thank you, goodnight Fitz" to which he responded "goodnight Livvy". Olivia listened for the dial tone, holding the receiver tight to her chest as she watched the snow continue to fall. Her desire to be in California was becoming unbearable.


	7. Chapter 6: Changes Part II

**Chapter 6: Changes (Part II)**

The day of Fitz' graduation came much slower than Livvy expected. She had not seen or talked to him since the evening she called the residence. She went to California for spring break but found that he was not there. He chose to stay at school to catch up on his work since he missed several days going to look after his mother. Olivia was disappointed that she could not see him in person but was happy to catch up with Mrs. Grant, who looked a lot better than she expected and Teddy, who told her of Mellie's latest exploits to trap into a setting a date for the wedding. Olivia was sure Teddy was dragging his feet on purpose, just looking for an excuse to delay the wedding even further. The Governor too was happy to see her and even more pleased that Denise had not kept her away from the mansion. He kindly admitted that the place was not the same without Olivia. But she did not know if he was being kind or truthful – the true mark of a good politician.

When Olivia returned to DC from spring break she finally accepted a date from Stephen Harris, the boy at school she told Fitz about. Stephen was handsome, nice, athletic and smart. Olivia enjoyed occasionally spending time with him; he had an easy going nature that brought out a more playful side of Olivia. He occupied her time so that she felt less bored at her father's house. She remained guarded with him though, careful not to reveal too much of her personality or true nature. She found herself holding back in conversations; not eagerly commenting on situations but preferring to keep her opinions to herself. She observed him intently and decided that he liked her better this way. He definitely would not like knowing that she was more intelligent than he. Although she knew him; it was clear that he really did not know her. Olivia thought he more enjoyed the idea of having a girlfriend and showing her off to others. He was proud to have her on his arm. She thought this was foolish, archaic thinking but she simply shrugged it off because she wasn't going to invest much in this relationship anyway. Even after a month of dating, she only let him give her a small kiss on the lips. He wanted to do more of course, but Olivia simply did not think of him in that way. She was not physically attracted to him to the extent that she yearned for his touch or his kiss. And since she did not feel that way about him she was certain the relationship would not progress further. As she promised, she called her mother to advise her of the new development in her life.

"I just don't feel like he's the one I should be with in that way. Is that weird? Do you think I should wait and see if my feelings change?" Olivia expressed to her mother.

"Well sweetheart, for us, it usually happens or it doesn't. Either we feel sparks from a man or we don't. It can't be forced. If you don't think about him all the time, can't wait till the next time you see him; hang on his every word and just enjoy being in his presence then he isn't the one for you."

"Fitz said I shouldn't rush it and love would find me eventually."

"You talked to Fitz about this?" Denise tried to hide the surprise in her voice. She didn't want to alarm Olivia.

"Yeah, briefly. He was home when I called for Mrs. Grant a couple of months ago. You're both right though, I shouldn't try to force what isn't there."

Denise paused thoughtfully and said, "Livvy I think it's a good time to get you on the pill. I know you're not thinking about having sex with Stephen but still we need to be safe about this. I'm going to talk to your father and have him take you for a check-up next week. Don't worry, your father won't know what the visit is about but when I make the appointment I will explain to the doctor that you need to get started on the pill."

"Ok that's fine….I'll think about it some more but I'll probably end up breaking up with him, we'll see. I'll call you after my doctor's appointment, thanks mom."

"Of course baby. I love you Livvy."

"Love you too."

Olivia had tried to get rid of Stephen but she couldn't shake him. The more she ignored him the more attentive he became. He always wanted to be around her, to hold her hand, to hug and kiss her. It was becoming a little claustrophobic. He was a sweet person but she just did not feel about him the way her mother described she should feel. She felt bad though every time she got the courage to end the relationship. So she kept him hanging on. When she told him that her mother was going to meet her in Massachusetts to take her to Fitz graduation, he eagerly asked if he could go too. And he asked her in front of her dad. Her father liked Stephen. He said he was a polite and respectable young man that treated his daughter right. She mistakenly told Stephen what her father thought and this gave him even more confidence in the relationship. Her father agreed that Stephen should go too and said he would talk to Denise about securing another ticket for him. Olivia frankly did not want him to go; she did not want him to meet the Grant family. She did not want him monopolizing her time. But she conceded, although she maneuvered the plans to make sure she was not on the same flight as Stephen. He would arrive a day after her so that she could at least get some alone time with the family prior to his arrival.

It took her some time but she finally found the perfect gift for Fitz. Actually she bought him two gifts. She had the second gift engraved with a special message, the meaning behind which only Fitz would understand. She was sure he would love it. She couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he opened her gifts.

When she met her mother in Massachusetts, time was running short on them. They barely had enough time to change and freshen up in the hotel before they had to head off to the pre-graduation celebration for Fitz at the Boston home kept by the Grants. At the risk of being fashionably late, both Denise and Olivia preferred to take the time necessary to ensure that they both looked beautiful. Denise brought a nice dress for Olivia to wear and she loved it; her mother always had great taste in clothing.

When they arrived, the place was filled with people and there was a live band playing music. She was immensely glad that Stephen would not arrive until tomorrow; he would have smothered her which would have prevented her from having a good time. Her eyes lit up and a wide smile was plastered on her face because this was really the first party she had ever attended. Her mother was nervous, Olivia knew what she was thinking about so as they stood on the threshold of the party, she smiled and said to her, "Don't worry mom, I'll get my own drinks this time." Denise knew it was unrealistic to keep Olivia glued to her side all night so she allowed her to mingle through the room. Olivia saw Mrs. Grant and made her way to her to say hello.

"Hello Mrs. Grant", she said as she bent to kiss her cheek.

"Hello dear, you look absolutely beautiful. I think you become more beautiful with age."

"Thank you. How are you feeling? Would you like me to get you something?"

"I'm fine, don't fuss. You are worse than Fitz. Oh look Teddy has decided to dance with that horrible girl," Mrs. Grant remarked with her smile never faltering.

Olivia looked to the dance floor and saw Teddy dancing with Mellie. She laughed at Mrs. Grant's description of Mellie. She never considered that Mrs. Grant did not like Mellie, her quietness led Olivia to mistakenly assume that she was okay with everything and liked everyone.

Olivia looked further on the dance floor and saw Fitz dancing with Trish. She didn't know why but the sight upset her. She had hoped by now that Fitz would have dumped Trish but apparently she was wrong.

"I see Fitz dancing with Trish. So they are still dating."

Mrs. Grant eyed Olivia for some time before responding, "No they aren't really dating, at least that's what Fitz says. They decided to take a break went he went back to college, whatever that means. I know she wants my son badly. Mellie brought her to go to the graduation. Fitz only found out at the last minute and he had to scramble to get her a ticket. It's really very embarrassing the way she follows him around. A lady never shames herself in that way."

Olivia snickered at the information. She also thought Trish was too eager to get Fitz attention.

"But I hear that you have a young man coming as well. I can't wait to meet him. What is he like?"

Olivia frowned. "He's alright. To tell you the truth I didn't want him to come. My father insisted. I was already looking for the opportunity to break it off with him. He's just not the one for me. I don't feel attracted to him the way I know I should."

Mrs. Grant eyed Olivia again and noticed that all the time she spoke she had not taken her eyes from Fitz on the dance floor. _If only_, Mrs. Grant thought.

When the music stopped, Olivia saw Fitz and Teddy go over to the bar to get drinks. They stayed at the bar laughing and talking with one another. Olivia excused herself from Mrs. Grant and made her way over to say hello. When she reached them, they both turned and gave her warm hugs in greeting. Fitz spoke first.

"Livvy you look very beautiful. You've changed a bit since the summer."

"What are you drinking ma'am?" The bartender asked Olivia interrupting their conversation.

"Mmmm, I'll have what they're having", Olivia said confidently and both Teddy and Fitz said firmly, "No."

"The lady will have a virgin margarita, thank you," Teddy said.

"Well at least let me taste what you have. How am I supposed to know if I can handle liquor if I'm not allowed to sample it? I should know my tolerance level before I actually become old enough to drink, don't you think?"

Teddy and Fitz just looked at each other and laughed.

"Nice try Livvy but your logic won't work. No liquor until you're old enough."

The bartender returned with her drink and kept eyeing Olivia with a wide smile on his face. Fitz could tell he was attracted to Olivia and cleared his throat to get the bartenders attention before he punched him. The bartender took the hint and walked away.

"It was worth a try. So congratulations Fitz, I'm very proud of you", Olivia said as she sipped her drink.

"Thank you Livvy. I appreciate it. So where is your boyfriend?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "He will be here tomorrow although I'm very annoyed that he is coming" she saw the shocked looks on both their faces and decided that she had better explain. She continued while looking at the dance floor, "He likes me a whole lot more than I like him. And I can't shake him, no matter how much I ignore his calls or avoid him at school his desire to be with me intensifies. He's nice but he's definitely not getting farther than a friendly kiss on the lips, no tongue."

The music was changing from a fast to a slow dance but neither Fitz nor Teddy went to find their partners. They continued to stare at her with wide eyes, she wondered if they were a little tipsy. She kept talking, "I know most girls my age have already had sex and don't get me wrong I'm looking forward to it too. I'm glad I'm finally on the pill. But Stephen will not be the one."

Teddy cleared his throat, shot a look to Fitz and quickly said, "Umm I think I see an old friend over there that I haven't spoken to. Excuse me." He was extremely uncomfortable with the conversation and he wondered whether she spoke like that with his brother all the time. Fitz looked shocked but definitely not as shocked as he was. He thought it best that he excuse himself quickly.

"That was probably too much information for Teddy. I'm sorry I was thinking I was only talking to you. Speaking of sex, what's up with you and Trish?"

Fitz cocked his eyebrow and said, "Livvy, don't start. My relationship with Trish is a bit complicated at the moment." When Olivia started to say more, Fitz took her drink, sat it on the bar and said, "Let's dance Livvy, do you know how to slow dance?" He didn't wait for her to respond he merely led her to the dance floor. Fitz was trying to distract her from asking more questions that he really didn't want to consider or answer.

Initially, Olivia was excited about dancing with Fitz but when she was in his arms it turned into something else. She began to feel nervousness in her stomach and a warm feeling even lower. Fitz' cologne smelled so good that she wanted to put her nose to his neck to take in more of the scent. He was looking above her head and she took the opportunity to stare at him unobserved. He really was the finest looking man she had ever seen. His chiseled jaw, intense eyes, perfect nose and his lips. _Oh my God, _Olivia thought_, why am I thinking about Fitz like this._ She had never done so before but now in his arms she was overcome by inexplicable emotions for him. She almost missed a step and he looked down at her, "Are you okay?" he asked. She loved the movement of his lips and his deep, rich voice gave her goose bumps. She didn't know what had changed but her feelings for Fitz had taken a turn. She decided she better say something before he think she was crazy. But when he smirked at her, her knees almost buckled.

She quickly recovered, "I'm fine. So how do you know when you are in love with someone?" She didn't know where the question came from but it was the first thing that came to her mind.

"For me or for you? "he smiled down at her. _How come I never noticed that smile, _Olivia thought. "Livvy you are too young to be in love with anyone. Love means that you are hoping for a solid relationship with the other person. You can see them as part of your future. You want to share your life with them. That's what love is supposed to be."

"You don't think you will experience that right? That is unless you take a mistress."

This time Fitz almost missed a step. "Livvy why am I always the one telling you to filter your speech. You're telling me that you only talk like this with me?"

"Only you."

The music stopped and Fitz released her. She almost fell back into his arms but caught herself. Immediately, Trish made her way to Fitz and said, "Fitz we need your help over here to help us settle a dispute."

Fitz looked from Trish to Olivia with a deep frown on his face. "Sure, Livvy will you please excuse me." He escorted Olivia off the dance floor and went with Trish.

Olivia needed the time alone. She was so very confused. She had always thought of Fitz as an older brother; a close friend but never did she consider that she had romantic feelings for him. She walked outside to the patio to get some air. She began to wonder whether it was her youth – a sort of puppy love or a crush. Maybe it was because he had always been so kind to her; listening and helping her. But hadn't Teddy done the same? She certainly didn't have the same feeling about Teddy. So why Fitz? She always thought he was extremely handsome but it was an afterthought, all this time he had just been Fitz. She felt like she was being stupid. She was a child compared to him. There was no way she could have a relationship with him like a man does a woman. Fitz would soon be married to a woman around his own age, a thought that made her stomach cringe in pain. Was that why she always hated Trish? Was she secretly jealous of her relationship with Fitz? She thought of her mother's words, _If you don't think about him all the time, can't wait till the next time you see him; hang on his every word and just enjoy being in his presence then he isn't the one for you. _But that is exactly how she felt about Fitz. She constantly thought about him, wanted to be in his presence, hear him speak; she thrived on his happiness. She chastised herself as a fanciful young girl who was simply in love with the idea of being in love. She had no idea what love meant or how it was really supposed to feel. But she couldn't shake the feeling that her new intensified feelings for Fitz were real and it would probably be the closest thing to love she was ever going to feel.

She was about to go back inside. The night air was getting cool on her skin and she didn't want her mother to worry when she did not see her in the main hall. Then across the lawn she saw a couple walking towards the pool house. She squinted trying to see who it was and she finally recognized Trish leading Fitz to the pool house. Fitz didn't look too eager to go with her; it was almost as if she was dragging him along but he was still going. Olivia knew something was about to happen between the two and couldn't contain her curiosity. She had to see for herself what was going to happen. She looked around to make sure no one was observing her movements and where she was headed. She waited until they entered the pool house and made her way there using a different direction. It took her a while to get there because she didn't want anyone to be alerted by seeing her run across the lawn. She didn't know what she would see when she got there but she couldn't stop herself from seeing it. She could tell by the look in Trish's eyes that she wanted to have sex with Fitz. She wasn't sure what sex looked like in person. She didn't want to seem like a peeping tom but she had an overwhelming desire to see what it was like; to get glimpse of how it felt. Why was sex such a big deal?

When she made it to the pool house she bent down next to a window where the curtain was slightly opened that allowed her a view of Fitz and Trish in the main room. She could hear Trish speaking.

"I wanted to congratulate you in private. I wanted you to know how proud I am of you. And I wanted to give you your gift at least part one of your gift. The second part of your gift will come tomorrow after you graduate." Trish was talking low and seductively and Olivia could tell that Fitz was attracted to her. She began to take off her dress and Olivia was shocked to find that she didn't have on any underwear. "Did you know I didn't have any underwear on? It was just for you baby. I wanted to give you easy access. You like what you see?"

"You know I do", Fitz said as he began to pull off his jacket and unbuckle his pants.

"I can see you're ready for me Fitz. Let me help you." Olivia could see Trish walk over to Fitz naked except for her high heel shoes. She came over and started pulling Fitz' pants down. "Oh yeah baby you're really ready for me aren't you? Let me give you a sample of what your gift tomorrow will be." Olivia saw Trish go down and put her face to Fitz crotch. When Olivia saw Trish open her mouth, she turned away and put her hand to her mouth. She wanted to gag. She thought that was disgusting and didn't understand why Trish would do that to Fitz. But when she heard Fitz groaning in pleasure, she could tell that he really enjoyed it. Olivia turned back to the window when Trish spoke again, "That was just the beginning; tomorrow you'll get the full treatment." Fitz kissed Trish passionately, deeply. He backed her up against the wall and put her legs around his waist. He slid his penis into her and Trish moaned out of pure pleasure. Fitz cursed, "Shit". They then began to move back and forth for several minutes. Trish screamed first, yelling Fitz' name and then Fitz moaned loudly. Olivia knew that was the moment he spilled his semen inside of Trish. And it was over. Both of them were breathing heavily. Trish slowly put her legs down and said, "I hope you enjoyed that baby. I know I did." She went to put her dress back on. "Now you know whenever you look at me tonight, I'm completely naked underneath and it's all for you." Fitz said nothing but started to get dressed. "We better get back", was all he said.

Olivia took that as her cue to come away from the window and get back to main house before Fitz and Trish or even her mother noticed what she was doing. On her way back to the main house, she had time to process what she had just seen. She wasn't mad at Fitz or Trish. They were dating, sort of. She knew Fitz was physically attracted to Trish and who could blame him. She couldn't help but compare her body to Trish and found herself lacking; she really was just a kid. But Fitz needed to be with a woman and Trish gave him what he needed at least sexually and maybe that was what was most important. Once again, Olivia felt jealous of Trish. She wanted to feel that kind of passion; she wanted to make a man weak just by looking at her. She didn't know when or if that would ever happen but she hoped it would. She wanted to feel the pleasure that Trish felt in the arms of a beautiful man. She didn't know how she would look them in the eye without blushing and remembering their sexual encounter. But she would certainly try. They could never know that she watched them.

Olivia reached the main house and noticed her mother dancing with some man on the floor. She breathed a sigh of relief that she made it. Moments later she saw Fitz and Trish enter the hall from across the room. She watched as they navigated through the guests like all was normal and they weren't thrashing against each other in sexual passion a couple of minutes ago. Fitz held Trish's hand and kept her close to him as they talked to a group of friends. At one point she saw Fitz put his arm around Trish's waist. Olivia thought Trish was the luckiest person in the world. Olivia couldn't wait until it as her turn to experience the same pleasure, not just the sex but having the man you adore wrap a possessive arm around your waist to keep you close to him, not allowing you to leave his side. She hoped it would come and more importantly she hoped she could find a man that would mean as much to her, if not more, than the man who now stood before her.


	8. You Give Me Butterflies

**Chapter 7 – You Give Me Butterflies**

June 25th - The headline of the Sacramento Bee newspaper read **"Governor's Son Killed in Auto Accident – DUI Suspected." **The article reported:

…_..Sources tell us the accident occurred three days ago in the early morning hours at approximately 2AM. The vehicle was traveling on I-80 and swerved into on-coming traffic. To avoid a collision, the vehicle spun out and went over an embankment. There was a female in the vehicle but she remains unidentified. She has been hospitalized with extensive injuries, but she is expected to live. The Governor's son, who is suspected to have been driving under the influence, was pronounced dead on the scene. It is unclear why this accident was not reported earlier….._

Denise read and re-read the article at the breakfast table until her tears blinded her vision and began to wet the newspaper. She left the newspaper on table and in a blind haze, went to her bedroom and closed the door to mourn in silence. "Mom, what…" Olivia asked looking after her, not understanding her shift in mood. She reached over and picked up the newspaper to see what her mother was reading. What she saw caused her to gasp loudly, saying "Oh my God" repeatedly.

When Denise met Stephen Harris, Olivia's boyfriend at the airport she had to do a double take. She could have sworn she was looking at a younger version of Fitz. She looked at Olivia and could not understand why she did not like this boy. He was handsome, respectful and kind. And he clearly adored Olivia. He gave Olivia a warm embrace in greeting and kissed her on the cheek; Olivia looked irritated by the public display of affection.

The ride to the hotel was oddly quiet; Olivia sat staring out the window, while Stephen sat in the back staring at her. Denise looked at him through the rear view mirror and saw his emotions move from excitement to confusion and ultimately insecurity. Evidently he too was worried about Olivia's unusually quiet demeanor. Denise started up the conversation by asking Stephen about his family, his life at school and his career goals. His answers gave Denise comfort because she knew he didn't lie about anything. Her dossier on him and his family had already told her all she needed to know about his stable background even some additional information about his father's work with the government. Denise made it her aim to obtain as much information as she possibly could about the people she knew. She had team of investigators she privately funded whose tasks consisted entirely of gathering the most valuable commodity in the world: Information. She stepped up her game even more so since the Edison-debacle. With knowledge, she would be better equipped to deal with people and more importantly, protect her and her daughter in the future.

As with all families, that Harris' had a couple of less than stellar aspects of their past that could harm them if publicly known. But all in all, Denise thought Stephen was a fine boy, with admirable qualities. He would be a good match for Olivia. She could not understand why Olivia seemed to dislike him to a degree that bordered on rudeness. When they arrived at the hotel and Stephen was checked into his room she told him the graduation was in 2 hours so that he could be ready on time. When she and Olivia got to their room, she broached the subject of Olivia's feelings for Stephen. "Livvy, please tell me what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Olivia said carefully.

"Come on Livvy, why don't you like this boy? What's the matter with him?"

"Nothing's wrong with him. We are just not compatible. I told you I didn't want him to come. I just don't like him in that way. I'm sorry."

Denise waited and watched her daughter. She would have to treat this conversation with kid-gloves; otherwise Olivia would bottle up her feelings and she'd never get to the truth. "Ok but are you sure you've given him a chance?" When Olivia started to interrupt her, Denise held her hand up and continued, "No wait let me finish. Sometimes we have in our mind what we THINK the person we are in a relationship SHOULD be like. And oftentimes our imaginations are unkind because they are unrealistic. We may have built up an image of someone that either doesn't exist or really can never be ours." When she said the last comment, Olivia looked at her with knowing eyes. Denise continued, "If we are not careful, it could cause us to be blinded to a person who really cares about us. We could mistakenly never give that person a chance simply because they can never be the person who we really want them to be."

"So you want me to settle for Stephen?" Olivia asked in frustration.

"No I don't. If you don't like Stephen fine. But what is the reason that you don't like him? There should be a reason Olivia. And if there isn't, then ask yourself have you really been fair to him? Have you really let him in to see the real you? Have you allowed yourself to care for him?"

Olivia looked off into another part of the room and Denise could tell she was thinking about her words. Denise knew that Olivia was attracted to Stephen's good looks and in the brief time she was with him, he seemed to dote on Olivia. What she thought and sincerely hoped was not the case was that she was rejecting Stephen because he was not Fitz. She knew Olivia loved Fitz like a brother, but had her feelings changed to something entirely different and more serious? Denise hoped not. She hoped that Olivia would not suffer the same fate that she had – loving a man that could never be hers. Although Olivia was young, she knew she could still have feelings beyond a simple crush. But all she could hope for now is that those feelings were not being directed toward Fitz.

When they were ready to leave for the graduation, they met Stephen in the hotel lobby. With a wide, charming smile, he stood to greet them as they walked over. "Ladies you both certainly look lovely", he said sincerely.

Denise nodded her head in thanks and Olivia said with a wide smile of her own, "Thank you Stephen, you look extremely handsome yourself." Stephen glowed under her praise and reached to hold her hand. Olivia continued, "The people we are going to meet all call me Livvy. You should call me Livvy too." Stephen looked like she had given him some precious gift, he muttered, "Thank you". Denise was so thankful to see that Olivia was giving Stephen a chance to have a stake in her life.

When they arrived, Olivia introduced Stephen to Fitz' family as well as Mellie and Trish. She made sure she introduced Trish as Fitz' girlfriend. After the introductions, Trish slyly nudged Olivia and whispered, "Way to go girl. He's a good catch." Olivia frowned at that because she was not trying to catch anyone. She was not trying to lure a boyfriend to her side; she wanted it to just happen. She thought about her mother's words and as she sat next to Stephen listening to the graduation speeches, she wondered why she had rejected him so fiercely. What was it that really annoyed her about him? Was it that he wanted to be around her all the time? Or that he was so affectionate toward her and treated her so kindly? Wasn't that the exact same thing she said she envied with Fitz and Trish? When she looked over to him, she admitted to herself how handsome he really was. He was just a good guy. Sure she didn't feel extremely excited being in his presence, but so what? And who's to say that this relationship would last into her adulthood anyway. Why couldn't she just calm down and enjoy being with him?

On the stage, Fitz got up to give his speech and Olivia hung on his every word. He spoke about being a dreamer; wanting to effect change in the country and wanting to be an advocate for the things he believe in. He wasn't speaking as a politician; he was speaking from the heart. Fitz' nature would not allow for him to be an ordinary citizen, casting votes here and there hoping for a change. No, he would have to be a part of the moving machine of decision makers who created and enforced change. There could be no other path for him. Olivia watched him with great admiration. She knew he would be someone great someday. It was a foregone conclusion. He wouldn't stop until he made it so. She would try to keep this memory in her heart so that one day she could look upon him at some ceremony, convention or even on TV and just be proud to have known him.

After the ceremony, Fitz tried to make his way over to his family but he was constantly being stopped by well-wishers, professors and students wanting to get a little of his attention. He greeted them all graciously. When he had gotten close to where the family was gathered, Trish couldn't wait any longer; she ran to greet him and threw herself in his arms. He picked her up and hugged her tightly. He smiled at her as she kissed his cheek. When he sat her down, she whispered something in his ear that made him throw his head back in laughter. Olivia, frowning at the sight, could only imagine what Trish was whispering. Stephen cut into her thoughts saying, "Wow I can't wait for the day when we graduate from college. It's going to be amazing." Olivia looked at him with a smile, but wondered at the 'we' comment because she had not yet come to see him being in her life beyond high school. But she was trying.

Fitz finally made it to the family with Trish staking claim to his arm to keep him by her side. Fitz nudged himself away from her to greet his mother and father. "I'm so proud of you my darling Fitz. I love you so much." Fitz bent down to kiss her on the cheek. "I love you too mom."

"Fitz, my boy, I'm so very proud of your accomplishment. But this is only a small step in the bigger plans we have for you. There is a photographer there waiting to take our picture. Let me call him over. This shot will look good in the paper." The Governor took off to get the photographer.

Fitz turned to greet Teddy with a bear hug and Mellie with a handshake. He then kissed Denise on the cheek to thank her for coming. His attention was then drawn to Olivia and her new boyfriend. Olivia made the introductions as Stephen and Fitz shook hands. "Stephen it's so nice to meet the man in Livvy's life. I'm sure you know Teddy and I protect Livvy like she's our little sister so we want to make sure we meet the person who has captured her heart." Fitz said with a laugh in his voice.

Olivia was about to speak up to contradict Fitz' statement but then closed her mouth. It was best for her to keep quite before she said something that made everyone uncomfortable.

"Thank you, nice to meet you too", Stephen said as he was glad to have been accepted.

"Maybe we can talk more at dinner Stephen; get to know each other better," Fitz said and Stephen replied, "I'd like that." Fitz turned, hugged Livvy and kissed the top of her head. "What's the matter Livvy, why are you so quiet?"

Olivia just shrugged and said, "I really enjoyed your speech; you made some good points."

"Oh ho and how much of my speech would you have changed?" Fitz said with a mocking grin.

"Only a couple lines here and there", Olivia said smiling at him for the first time since their meeting.

Both Teddy and Fitz laughed outright at her comment. "Come on Fitz; let's get these pictures over with. Mellie and Trish can you stay with Denise, we'll be right back."

After the family finished their photos, there was a private dinner to celebrate Fitz' graduation. The seating arrangement was already set by the household staff according to the direction provided by Mrs. Grant. Olivia wondered at it but again kept silent. This silence was new for her but she was so disconnected from everything and everyone that she couldn't trust what would come out of her mouth. She had all of sudden become self-aware of her tendency for openness and candor in her speech. She was developing insecurity about herself and she hated it. She did not like worrying what others thought of her. She did not like the lack of confidence that was creeping into her personality. She would have to stamp it out as soon as possible. She was stronger than this and her developing feelings for Fitz – whatever it was – would not make her change who she was at her core. She liked Olivia Pope and she was not going to change.

As Olivia sat with Fitz to her left and Mrs. Grant to her right she allowed the polite conversation to continue all around her without actively engaging. She gave a sincere smile to Stephen as he sat between Trish and Mellie. He was enjoying himself; laughing at some joke Teddy was telling at Mellie's expense. Even Denise who sat between the Governor and Teddy joined in the merriment although she kept stealing concerned looks at Olivia. It was so unlike Olivia to remain quiet but Denise knew she had to allow Olivia to work out her feelings on her own. She was confident Olivia would find her way in the end. She was happy that Mrs. Grant took a liking to Olivia, in fact she noticed how Mrs. Grant tried several times to engage Olivia in conversation and although Olivia gave her the rapt attention she deserved, she still remained unattached. Denise saw Mrs. Grant pat Olivia's knee and say "Don't worry dear all is not as it seems." Denise was not sure what the meaning was behind the comment and from the look on Olivia's face she did not know either.

When dinner was over, the Governor suggested they all enjoy the evening air on the patio. Mrs. Grant said she was bit tired and would prefer to go upstairs to rest. Fitz immediately responded that he would take her upstairs, to which Trish grabbed his arm and said, "Baby why not let your brother do that so we can spend some time together." Fitz frowned at her and snatched his arm away, in a whisper he said, "Never, ever do that. Don't comment about my mom." Fitz went for his mother's wheelchair as Trish stood there looking dumfounded. Mrs. Grant spoke up to ease the tension, "Livvy dear come and help Fitz take me upstairs." Olivia looked at Fitz to judge his feelings but then replied to Mrs. Grant, "Yes, ma'am".

The Governor's mansion had an elevator to accommodate Mrs. Grant's disability however this house had a lift that would allow her to glide upstairs without being carried. While everyone else reconvened on the patio, Fitz removed his mother from the wheelchair and gently placed her in the lift. "Are you comfortable?" he asked. "Yes, dear," Mrs. Grant replied.

Olivia silently busied herself folding up the wheelchair and then followed Fitz up the stairs to help his mother get to her bedroom once she got to the top landing. She kept stealing side glances to Fitz but he too was now silent and withdrawn into his own thoughts. She wondered if Trish' comment still bothered him.

Fitz carried his mother to her room and sat her frail body on the edge of the bed so that the nurse could attend to her further. "Thank you both," Mrs. Grant said. She smiled widely as she looked from Fitz to Olivia and back again. "I love you both; you are such dear people with good hearts and genuine feelings. I love how much you care for me and", she paused, reflecting on her words then shook her head as if she thought better of what she was about to say. She ended up saying, "But I kept you long enough go down and join the others, have fun. Fitz I will see you tomorrow, Livvy I will see you soon back in California."

Fitz bent down and hugged and kissed his mother good night. Olivia did the same but before she could pull back Mrs. Grant whispered in her ear, "All things take time, sweet Livvy." When Olivia pulled back she had a look of confusion but Mrs. Grant simply smiled at her and said good night.

When Fitz and Livvy left her room, they continued to walk back to the stairs in silence. Finally, Fitz caught her arm before reaching the landing. "Livvy, what's the matter with you? And don't tell me nothing, you are being too quiet. Ever since last night, you seem different. We aren't going downstairs until you tell me what's wrong."

Olivia knew she had been different. She tried not to be. She wanted to pretend that what she saw last night between Fitz and Trish did not affect her but it had. She wanted to pretend she could go back to looking at Fitz like an older brother but she could not. Even last night, when Fitz and Teddy had walked her and her mother to their car, she could barely look Fitz in the face. She kept her eyes on Teddy all the while Fitz was speaking to them. She gave Teddy a loving embrace while she gave brief superficial hug to Fitz and hurriedly got into the car. She wasn't trying to be dismissive of him but she couldn't handle her emotions. She hoped a good night's sleep would help clear her muddled head but sadly it did not. Now when Fitz was asking her to explain her behavior she could not bring herself to say the one thing she desperately wanted to. She wanted to confide in the one person she always could speak freely to but in this instance she could not. And it hurt her inside not to talk to Fitz the way she wanted to.

"Did Trish' comment about your mother upset you?"

"Stop that! Don't turn this conversation into something about Trish because it's not. It's about you Livvy. I know you don't like to talk about yourself; you prefer to examine and re-examine other people. But this time, I'm not letting it go. Now tell me what's wrong. Is it Stephen? Did he do something or say something…." Fitz was getting worked up.

"No! No, it's not him at all. Well it's sort of him but not really. It's me, my emotions are all over the place and I don't like it. I don't like not having control. I don't like feeling vulnerable. I don't like this weakness…..You don't have to love someone to have sex with them right?" She asked curiously.

Once again her line of thinking threatened to make him crazy.

"Livvy, when you love someone you give a little control of your life over to them. Stephen seems to be a good kid. If you love him or if you think you could love him, then allow yourself to do so. Stop being so distant with him. Don't run him away. And you are smart enough to know when the time is right for you to have sex with someone. Your mother trusts you to know when you are ready and I do to," Fitz said as he smiled with reassurance. But Olivia noticed that he was still frowning and she wondered whether he believed his own words.

"I'm not talking about Stephen….I'm talking about…" Olivia started but at Fitz confusion she thought better of saying anything further. "Never mind, you're right I need to stop being so distant and cold. Thank you Fitz." She reached up and kissed his cheek and continued walking towards the stairs.

"Wait, if we weren't talking about Stephen who were we just talking about Livvy?"

"It doesn't matter Fitz, let's go down so that we can open your presents," Olivia said and she continued down the stairs to escape his questioning gaze.

On the patio, Fitz began opening his presents. Teddy and Mellie got him some diamond cufflinks. His mother and father gave him an envelope with car keys to a new Mercedes Benz. Trish gave him a card with what appeared to be an obscene message by the look on Trish' smiling face and Fitz blushing cheeks. He folded the card without reading it to the audience. Denise got him a new leather briefcase. When he opened Olivia's gift he gasped loudly which prompted everyone, including Denise, to inquire what it was. Denise had not asked Olivia about the graduation gift and she believed the briefcase she bought could be from the both of them. Apparently Olivia had other ideas.

Fitz held up a box with a flag pin in it. A note was attached that said it was former President Eisenhower's pin with only 48 stars on it. Then he held up a Sterling Silver money clip with the words engraved "Show them who you really are" on it. Everyone was hushed at the sight of such expensive gifts. Olivia kept her eyes on Fitz as the words on the money clip sunk in. She knew the gifts were much too expensive but she had saved for quite long time. And when she told Mrs. Grant in one of her letters what she wanted to buy for Fitz' graduation, she had offered to cover whatever remaining amount was necessary to purchase both items under the condition that Olivia never tell anyone that she helped her. Mrs. Grant required that Olivia pretend both gifts only came from her. Olivia did not know why Mrs. Grant wanted to help her in such a way but she promised to keep the secret anyway. Now looking at Fitz' face of genuine gratitude and appreciation, Olivia thought the secrecy was well worth it.

When everyone started talking and getting drinks, Fitz found his way over to Olivia and sat next to her. "Wow Livvy, I don't know what to say. Your gifts were amazing. More than I could ever ask for."

"Well I was a little hesitant about the Eisenhower pin because you never really told me about your political aspirations or whether you really had any. Teddy, yes but you I wasn't so sure. But in listening to your graduation speech, I knew I made the right choice. There is no other road for you than politics. That is your calling. And you may hate the way your father pushes you to seek an office in the government but he is right. That is where you belong."

Fitz sighed and continued to watch Olivia's profile. Olivia never once turned to look at him. "I know. It is what I've known I will end up doing, but not until after law school. I won't change my mind about that."

"Well then when you are elected to your first office, I'd be proud to see you wearing the pin on your lapel." Olivia now sighed, stood up and dusted off her dress. She then turned to Fitz with a big smile, "Congratulations again Fitz." She started to walk away until he grabbed her hand, "Livvy who were you talking about upstairs? Why won't you tell me? You used to be able to talk to me."

Olivia looked down at him as he remained seated. She was fighting tears and she hated to cry. "I can't Fitz. Please don't make me cry. You know, I hate to cry." With that, he released her hand as she walked away to join the others. Fitz watched her join the others in their conversation and he reconsidered her words and actions this evening. She was trying hard to hold back her feelings about someone she loved and it was paining her to do so. She was a teenager so maybe whatever feelings she had would eventually go away in time. But as young as she was, her maturity level made her seem more like a woman; with a woman's emotions and feelings. So perhaps her feelings were very serious. And she was truly in love with someone. Whomever it was, he hoped the person would love her back with full conviction and make her happy one day. What he couldn't account for was why the thought of Olivia loving someone so deeply left him feeling slightly unnerved and uncomfortable.


	9. Love Me When I'm Gone

**(Hello all. Thank you for your interest in my story. Please continue to read and leave more reviews. I'm so thankful and humbled by your commendations.)**

**Love Me When I'm Gone**

Two weeks after Fitz' graduation, Olivia was scheduled to go to California to spend the summer with her mother. Before her scheduled departure, she tried to spend more time with Stephen. She tried to give him a chance to have a place in her life as a boyfriend should. Her efforts seemed to be in vain because Fitz continued to make inroads into her mind and heart. The week before she was to leave, Stephen wanted to do something special for her. He would be leaving in a week too, to go and stay with his uncle in Chicago for the summer. He regretted their separation; long distance relationships were difficult to sustain and his relationship with Olivia was still not as strong as he would have liked. His parents were away for the weekend and he wanted to cook her a romantic dinner. He asked permission from Dr. Pope who agreed to it but stated that Olivia had to be home by midnight. Stephen stated that he already arranged for his older brother to pick Olivia up from his house no later than 11:30 so that she could be back home well before midnight.

Olivia thought the dinner was lovely. Stephen had obviously put a lot of effort in making sure the setting was beautiful and romantic. Candles were lit everywhere in the dining room and jazz music was playing. Her father remarked on the candles that could be seen from the street through the picture window when he dropped her off. He said, "That boy really loves you sweetie." And Olivia did not doubt his words, she knew Stephen really cared for her and it was upsetting that she could not yet return his love wholeheartedly.

The meal he prepared was delicious – baked chicken, rice and vegetables. He made light conversation over dinner and asked about her plans for the summer with her mother. He then announced that next on his agenda was for them to watch a movie. He was happy they had the house to themselves because he didn't want to have his family come in and tease him about watching a chick-flick. He heard that girls really liked the movie "The Notebook" and he hoped Olivia liked it too. Olivia informed him that she had seen the movie countless times but would love to watch it again with him.

Halfway through the movie, Olivia reached over and grabbed his face for a kiss. She started off gentle but then deepened it with tongue this time. When he responded in kind, Olivia groaned. She was really enjoying the kiss. And when Stephen started to rub her arms and stroke her back she started to feel butterflies in her stomach. She moved until she was even closer to his body. He picked her up until she was in his lap, never stopping the kiss. He kissed her fiercely until Olivia broke away, out of breath. "Livvy you know I love and adore you." Stephen said grabbing her face to look deep in her eyes. Olivia only responded by nodding her heard. He kissed her again and then trailed kisses down her neck and nibbling at her ears. Olivia groaned again and Stephen began to feel her breasts that immediately responded to his touch. Olivia said, "Stephen, can we go to your room?" Stephen didn't move for minutes, shocked by what she said. He wasn't sure that she understood what she was saying, "Livvy, are you sure?" Olivia looked in his eyes; eyes that looked so much like Fitz' but she blocked that thought. She was ready; ready to be with someone who loved her. "I'm sure," she said and he got up and led her upstairs to his room.

When she got to his room, immaculately clean and smelling fresh, her eyes went to his king size bed. Nervousness threatened to creep up but she fought it. Stephen could detect it and kindly said, "Livvy, I'm not trying to rush you." Olivia smiled at his gentleness. She went over to him and helped him take off his jacket and shirt. She reached for his pants but he stayed her hands and kissed her again. He wanted to make sure that it all went slow enough so they could both enjoy it. He then unzipped her dress and took it off her shoulders, watching as it fall like a pool around her feet. She was breathtaking, standing there in her bra and panties. He took her hand and led her to the bed as he drew back the covers and helped her get underneath them. He then took off his pants but left his boxers on because he didn't want to scare her with his erection. Her eyes watched him keenly as he walked around the bed and got in on the other side. When he climbed in, she moved closer to him. He took her in his arms and stared at her, stroking her hair, moving it from her face. "You are so beautiful Livvy. I love you so much." He kissed her again. He removed her bra and went to stroke and suckle her breasts. Olivia thought the sensation was amazing. She loved it. She instinctively arched her back to give him more access. He simultaneously removed her panties and began to stroke her more intimately. Olivia thought she would die from the sensations he was creating with his mouth and hands. She was gasping and moaning continuously now. She suddenly thought she should warn him about something, "Stephen you know this is my first time right?" He looked at her and nodded his head. "Don't worry Livvy, I'll go slow. I know it will hurt a bit but I'll try to be as gentle as possible." Olivia was so touched by his words that she brought his head down for another kiss. Olivia didn't know how he had done it but he was all of sudden as completely naked as she was.

Stephen broke the kiss and rolled over to reach into his drawer. He pulled out a condom and Olivia watched as he put it on his erect penis. She almost stopped him to say that she was on the pill but she didn't. She was so curious about everything that she wanted to see it all, including watching him put a condom on. When he was done, he turned to her with a loving smile and bent down to kiss her as he resumed his position by her side. He then moved on top of her as his penis demanded an entry into her. He tried to go as slow as possible but knew he had to break the barrier of her virginity. At the inkling of pain he felt Olivia tense up but kept speaking loving words into her ear so that she could relax. He then apologized as he pierced her entirely causing Olivia to cry out in pain. Stephen remained still to allow her to get used to him, he kissed her tears and tried to comfort her. When the pain lessened, Olivia began to move under Stephen and he took that as a cue to move as well. They moved together, awkward at first but trying to find their rhythm. And eventually Olivia felt Stephen shudder as he reached his climax.

When he finished, he collapsed against her, out of breath. "I'm sorry", he said when he raised his head and looked at her sheepishly.

Olivia reached up and caressed his face. Smiling, she said, "Why, why are you sorry?"

"Because I was supposed to give you enough pleasure so that you could feel like me. I will next time," he said with a wide grin.

"Was this your first time too?"

"Yes", he said. And when Olivia frowned in confusion, he clarified, "My brother. He gave me a lot of information about sex and how to be with a woman. I'm thankful too. I would have hated to be the one that made your first time horrible. People always remember their first. It wasn't horrible was it?"

He looked so unsure of himself. Olivia could only think to comfort him. She kissed him and said, "It was great. Everything I hoped for….well almost." She laughed and continued, "I would like to feel this pleasure you talked about….next time." She was too sore to do anything else right now.

"Olivia, I want you to know that I wasn't kidding about my feelings for you. I think I've loved you since I met you. I've always wanted to be with you. I know you didn't want to date me at first; I don't know if it was because I'm white and you're black but I need you to know how happy I am to be with you. I'm happy that you are in my life."

Stephen said everything that she had been wanting someone to say to her - everything to show how much he loved her. He was right; she would remember this moment. She was happy that her first time was with someone who loved her so dearly. She was thankful for Stephen but she couldn't quite yet tell him that she loved him.

They made sure they were dressed and downstairs before 11:30 when Stephen's older brother returned. Stephen sat in the backseat with her while his brother drove her home. She sat close to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. She knew this evening her life had changed. She had crossed the threshold of womanhood and felt no shame about it. She wanted to experience sex with Stephen and she believed his words to her. She believed that he truly loved her and sex would only enhance their relationship, not damage it. When she reached home, Stephen got out and opened the door for her. He walked her to her door and kissed her goodnight on her porch.

"In case you didn't know, tonight was the best night of my life. I love you Olivia Pope."

Olivia smiled at him and kissed him again. "Thank you Stephen for such a romantic and lovely night. You really are the best boyfriend a girl could ever have. I care about you so much and I'm glad we are together." She turned and went inside.

During her last week in DC, Olivia found herself actually enjoying Stephen's company. She was letting go and allowing her true self to show. She felt like she was falling in love with him. She had an invisible barrier that prevented him from getting too close. Olivia had guarded her feelings, first out of wisdom, then self-preservation then out of fear. But she learned that she had nothing to fear from Stephen. He was always open and honest; she was the one who was a liar. She was the one who was afraid to be true to herself. She was the one who kept holding on to visions of Fitz. She promised herself that she would let go of her fanciful notions of a life with Fitz. She was too young for him. She could be happy with Stephen. She actually looked forward to spending her senior year in high school as Stephen's girlfriend. Perhaps they would go to prom together and maybe even the same college, who knows?

Stephen rode with her father to take her to the airport for her flight to California. Her father allowed them some privacy to say goodbye. Stephen took out a box he had in his pocket, opened it and took out a ring. He slipped the ring on Olivia's index finger and said, "Livvy, please say you will wear this ring. I want to know that although you are thousands of miles away you are still thinking of me as I will always be thinking of you. I'm promising myself to you Livvy as I hope you will promise yourself to me. I love you Livvy. I'll miss you."

Olivia was overwhelmed. She looked down at the lovely gold band with small sapphire jewels in it. She twirled it around her finger. She then looked up at Stephen with a wide smile and said, "I love you Stephen. I really do. I'll miss you too. I'll call and email you as much as I can."

He kissed her for several minutes until passersby started to clear their throats. Olivia broke off slightly embarrassed. She then said good bye to him and retrieved her carry-on luggage. He watched her walk away down the corridor and before going through security, Olivia looked back at him and waved. Stephen waved back to her as he continued to pronounce his love for her in his heart.

Olivia had been back in California for almost two weeks yet she had not been to the Grant household. Whenever her mother gave her the choice of whether or not to go, she had declined. It was only today, when her mother informed her that she needed her help, that Olivia knew she could not avoid going there anymore. It was that morning, when she had prepared herself to go to the Grant household that she read the newspaper of the tragic accident that took one of their lives. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Her mother had retreated to her room for the past hour and Olivia didn't mind; she too needed the time to grieve in private. After she felt her tears were spent, she went to the bathroom to clean her face. No matter how much she splashed water on her face, it could not take away her bloodshot and puffy eyes. Her heart was hurting. Her stomach was nauseous. She didn't want to go to and see the family but she didn't want to avoid it either.

Her mother came out of her bedroom and stood in the doorway of the bathroom, "How do you feel? Can you go today?" Her mother's eyes were also bloodshot and puffy but she had tried to reapply some basic makeup so that she could be more presentable. She tried to give a half smile to Olivia but it kept faltering and her lips began to quiver. Olivia walked over and hugged her mother tightly. "I can go and I will go with you."

When they arrived at the mansion, there was an increase of armed security presence. Denise announced her presence to a guard and was granted entry. Outside the gates there was a sea of photographers and reporters and film crews. Olivia had never seen such chaos. Her mother warned her that the increase of media coverage would create a frenzy of reporters on the lawn. She instructed Olivia to keep her sunglasses on and her head down.

Inside the house, Olivia could only feel more sadness and grief. There was an indescribable darkness that appeared to loom despite the well-lit rooms. The place was so different from last summer, so changed. There was no happiness, no joy, no laughter and she had trouble believing there would ever be again. Denise left Olivia in the foyer to go search for the family. Olivia stood there feeling like a stranger in a house that she had come to view as another home for her. She loved these people like they were her own family and suddenly she felt like she didn't belong with them. She felt like she would be intruding on their time of grief. She felt out of place, not knowing what she could say or what she could do to ease their suffering. She wanted to find a place to be inconspicuous and she chose the family room. Although the door was closed, she doubted anyone would be in there.

The family room was dark. All the curtains were drawn and the only light was from the TV that was powered on but no program was playing – it was only a blue screen. Olivia thought someone must have left it on but when she went to turn it off she noticed that someone was sitting in the room. She almost didn't see him. He was sitting in a shroud of darkness with his head down. He was nursing a drink of brown liquid in his hand. She left the TV on because she needed some sort of light to see him. Then she carefully went to sit next to him on the couch. When she got a closer look she could see how the grief had taken hold on him. He clearly had not shaved or changed his clothes in days. His hair was uncombed and he was barefoot.

"Fitz," she said softly and he looked up at her with wild grey eyes.

"Livvy", he said in strained voice like he had not spoken in days either.

She reached out and took the drink from his hand. He reeked of alcohol so she could tell he had more than enough. Fitz allowed her to take his drink. He kept looking at her and she noticed that in his lap lay the flag pin and money clip she bought him for graduation. "Livvy, he's dead, Teddy's dead. My brother's dead."

"I know Fitz, I know. And I'm so sorry. We should have come earlier but we just found out."

He continued to stare at her but she could tell he wasn't really seeing her. She tried to move to go and open the curtains, "Let me open the curtains so we can let some light into the room."

"No", he said desperately. "Just sit here with me. I've been alone in here for I don't know how long. I just need you to stay with me, just one minute", he laughed a bit to himself and continued, "Well maybe more than one minute."

"OK", was all Olivia could say when after she settled back down, he turned and laid his head on her lap. She lifted her hands, unknowing what to do with herself and then settled them on his hair. She began stroking his hair. She bent down and kissed his cheek, then resumed stroking his hair. She didn't know how long she did that before she could tell that he had fallen asleep.

Next thing she knew, Olivia was being gently shaken awake by her mother. She didn't realize she had fallen asleep but now her muscles were sore from sleeping an awkward position. She tried to move before she realized that Fitz was still sleep in her lap. Her mother helped to ease him off her lap and back to lie on the couch. Olivia stood up and stretched. "Mrs. Grant has been asking about you. Can you go up to see her?" Denise asked.

"Of course. I would've gone sooner if I had not fallen asleep." Olivia said as her mother looked around the room and saw the glass of liquor on side table. She cast a questioning look to Olivia, who said, "Yeah I think he's had way too much." Denise responded, "Like Father like Son."

Denise walked with Olivia to the stairs. Olivia asked, "How is the Governor?"

"As well as can be expected. I nearly yelled at him for keeping this from me for the past 3 days but he could barely respond. His speech was slurred. I think something is wrong with this whole situation. I'm going to look into it a little more. I walked him upstairs so someone could help him shower and get cleaned up. I suspect we will need to have someone come down and help Fitz do the same. I'll go speak to the staff while you visit with Mrs. Grant."

"Do you need any help?"

"No. Frankly I just need to stay busy, occupy my mind," she smiled at Olivia and then as an afterthought asked, "Livvy would you feel comfortable staying overnight here while we get everything situated for the funeral. I think we would be better help if we stay on. Are you okay with that?"

"Of course mom, it's no problem." Olivia hadn't told her mom just how far her relationship with Stephen had progressed merely that she was falling in love with him and hoped their relationship would survive the long distance separation. Olivia knew her mother could tell she had feelings for Fitz. They never spoke about it but she knew her mother was concerned about Olivia's heart getting broken.

When Olivia entered Mrs. Grant's room she found her sitting up in bed writing in a journal. Olivia immediately apologized for interrupting her. But Mrs. Grant put away the journal and patted the bed for Olivia to come and sit beside her. Olivia gave her a long hug before sitting down. She kept telling her how sorry she was for the tragic loss.

"Please Livvy, stop apologizing. Life is tragic and sad; it treats some of us better than others. That's why we have to cherish our loved ones and tell them that we love them every opportunity we get. I will miss my son so much. He was such a good man. It was a cruel trick to be played on us, but who can say that life is ever fair."

Olivia began to cry and Mrs. Grant wiped her tears. "Don't cry sweetheart. Just keep thinking how fortunate we all were to have Teddy in our lives as much as we did….. I keep remembering the first day we brought Fitzgerald home and told Teddy he had a little brother…."

Mrs. Grant began to tell stories of Teddy – some sad but most comical. Olivia couldn't help but laugh at some of Teddy's antics especially when he dragged little Fitz along in his mischievousness. After an hour of talking, Olivia felt refreshed; Mrs. Grant had lifted her spirits. It was almost lunchtime and Mrs. Grant stated she did not feel up to going down for lunch. Olivia assured her that she would bring up lunch for her.

Olivia stood to leave but Mrs. Grant stopped her and soberly said, "Livvy, Fitz is going to leave us. He can't handle being here right now and he's going to go away. It may for a year, hopefully not more. But I know that he needs to get away to heal. His brother meant a lot to him and he needs time to grieve. His father is going to be angry because I'm sure Fitz will not be going into the Navy as his father wished. But he will go away nonetheless", she paused for several minutes reading Olivia's face and seeing the emotional turmoil her words had caused. She then continued, "Will you wait for him Livvy?"

"What?"

"Livvy, I know you love my son. I can see it when you look at him. He doesn't know it yet. Or maybe he does. I'm not sure. I know you think you are too young but you are old enough to feel love. I love you both so dearly and he needs you, Livvy, in his life. He really does. You can make him better."

Olivia was speechless. Her mind flooded with questions trying to understand what was happening. Was Mrs. Grant experiencing the onset of dementia? Did she really mean what she was saying? Were Olivia's feelings for Fitz that obvious? Olivia knew Mrs. Grant was not demented. She had full capacity of thinking abilities. She knew exactly what she was talking about.

Mrs. Grant gave a slight laugh. "Livvy, I've shocked you, I know. Fitz is the more emotional of my two sons. He often wears his emotions on his sleeves. As strong as he is on the outside, he is vulnerable within. When he realizes how much he loves you; he will love you completely. He will love you dearly. You just need to give him some time. Can you do that?"

"I….I don't know. I'm scared. He may never love me like that. He has Trish, who could make him a good wife. And I….well I was trying to get over him," Olivia said in a shaky voice. She kept her head down as she spoke, still embarrassed by her feelings for Fitz.

"Trish is nothing to my son. He may sleep with her from time to time but the feelings for her do not run deep. I don't pretend to be ignorant of the sexual desires of men. I know my son may be physically attracted to her but I also know that every time he sleeps with her, he feels more ashamed. He wants love; he doesn't want to marry Trish just because his father arranged it or that she looks good on his arm. He wants to fall in love with his wife."

_I would choose to be happy_; Olivia recalled Fitz said on that summer afternoon.

Olivia was lost in thought, not quite sure what to say or do. Mrs. Grant said, "Livvy, think about my words and don't give up on him. Please."

Olivia gave her a smile and squeezed her hand. She left the room to see after lunch.


	10. I Want You To Stay

**I Want You to Stay**

Denise was pacing – in circles, which meant something was wrong. She borrowed Big Gerry's study while he went back to his office to gather some documents he needed to work on. She was reviewing her file on Teddy's car accident and so many details were simply not adding up. There were discrepancies in the reported information and the police report filed. It seemed to her that someone was deliberately covering up the truth and obscuring the facts in favor of the only other person in the vehicle: Mellie. Her preliminary investigation into the incident produced no real results – no tangible evidence that she could present to Gerry. But her gut told her that something else was there and she acted on her gut instincts. Yesterday, she made a call to the team of investigators she employed regularly to dig where she could not and open doors closed to her. She would now have to await their phone call.

It still bothered her that Gerry had not called her sooner. She wondered at that. From what she could gather in talking to Fitz and Natalia or Nattie, Gerry found out the day of the incident and did not come home for 2 days. He told them the morning before the article was released. How had he kept the accident away from the news for 2 days? Why did he do it? Gerry's actions were suspicious and on top of that he was vague in his account of events. According to him, Teddy was driving Mellie back from a dinner party. Teddy had a little too much to drink. Mellie wanted to drive but he would not let her. They were arguing in the car because he was swerving the vehicle dangerously. And the moment Teddy was distracted he swerved into oncoming traffic. Mellie screamed and when Teddy tried to straighten the vehicle he skidded out of control and went over the embankment. Mellie barely survived. Mellie was taken to the hospital for her wounds but was released within 48 hours. Denise had a problem with this information first and foremost because Teddy was not a drinker, secondly, the coroner's report left out any mention of Teddy's blood-alcohol level being higher than legally acceptable while the police report repeatedly stated that Teddy was in fact, drunk. One eyewitness reported that after the accident they saw a woman walk from the driver side of the vehicle and faint. But his account was discarded because he later admitted that it was too foggy and he wasn't 100% certain what he had seen. That discrepancy in itself should have prompted Gerry to investigate the matter further but it had not. Why had he just accepted that his son was at fault in the accident? Why was he willing to allow his son, the Assemblyman's, name to be slandered as a drunkard? What was going on?

Denise cell phone rang and she answered, "Yes". She listened for the next 20 minutes as one of the investigators provided new details regarding the accident. She took brief notes on what was said. "How certain are you that this information is accurate?" She nodded at the response, then said "And when will you have the additional information you are speaking of?" When she was satisfied with what she heard, she concluded the call by saying, "Send the information you have to me in an encrypted file using the same protocol we previously established. Thank you. I'll be in touch." Denise disconnected the call.

She began pacing again, this time back and forth. She needed to think about how to handle this. She wished the information she received was not true; that it could be refuted somehow but it could not. She had held many secrets of the Grant family – some of which she was personally involved in. But this time, this secret was much too big to be kept under wraps. She couldn't share with Gerry since it appeared that he knew the truth and was keeping it from her. In this situation, he was not to be trusted. He would just muzzle her. She decided to go to someone she could trust; someone whose honesty could never be tainted but whose objectivity would help Denise to think clearly in this matter and handle it in the best possible way.

XXXXXXX

The funeral for Theodore Jefferson Grant was held at the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament in downtown Sacramento. The church was filled to capacity with members of government, their families and prominent citizens. It as an open casket funeral and many filed by to say their final goodbye's to Teddy. Denise and Olivia were seated in the family section as they awaited the arrival of the rest of the family. Trish and Mellie were seated just behind them on the same row as each of their families. Olivia noticed that Mellie appeared to have no injuries beyond a slight gash on the top of her head that was covered with a small white bandage. She thought Mellie should be thankful she was not injured further. She greeted Trish earlier when they arrived at the church and gave her a hug. Trish' usual excitable personality was much subdued. Olivia wondered if she and Fitz had some type of falling out. Trish had visited the Grant household the day before and when Olivia greeted her at the door she offered to go and get Fitz. Olivia found Fitz in his bedroom and knocked to make sure it was okay for her to enter.

"Come in," Fitz called out.

"Fitz, Trish is here to see you. Do you want me to tell her you're on your way down?"

Fitz was standing looking out the window. From his vantage point he would have already seen that Trish had arrived but he made no move to come downstairs and greet her. Fitz never turned; he just continued to stare out the window with his hands in his khaki pants pockets.

"Livvy, why do you think people pretend to love you when they really don't?"

Olivia closed the door and sat down on the chair in the room. She wanted to be patient and allow Fitz to say whatever was on his mind. He had barely spoken in days and she hoped he would now open up about his feelings. She kept silent, knowing his question was rhetorical and that he would continue speaking eventually.

After several minutes he did continue, "People are constantly pretending – pretenses and lies. That is what my life is about. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of pretending to be happy when I'm not. I'm tired of pretending I want something out of life that I really don't. Pretending is not happiness – its misery. Especially when you know that happiness is out there. I feel like I can be happy if I can just get away from here even for a little while."

He turned and looked at her as if to make sure she was still present and listening to him. He gave her a slight smirk and turned back to the window. "You know me better than most although we only met about a year ago. You read me better than others simply because you've actually taken the time to know me. Others only look for what they WANT me to be; not what will make me happy. Even the girl waiting for me downstairs…"Fitz trailed off as he laughed to himself.

"Trish has aspirations and goals. She wants to be on the arm of a successful politician. If it's not me then it would be someone else. I don't fool myself to think that she loves me because she doesn't even know me. She knows what she wants me to be. And if I don't fulfill HER dreams, oh I'm sure she would leave me quickly.

"I'm a miserable man Livvy. I'm miserable and angry. Everyday my anger grows and I'm attempting to control it before I lash out and do something I regret later. So I need to go away. I can't say how long I will be gone but it will not be for a short time. I hope you will continue to check on my mother. She cares for you like you were her own daughter; she needs you. I can't be gone without knowing that you are here looking after her when you can. I know it's a hard burden to put on a girl of your age but I have no other choice. There is no other person that I can trust with my mother. If I could stay I would but I can't" he paused as he ran his hand through his hair and continued, "I'm leaving after the funeral."

Mrs. Grant had prepared her for this but hearing it from Fitz' mouth still made it unbearable for Olivia. She wanted him to stay. She didn't want him to leave. She wanted to help him heal from the death of his brother, but he would not allow her to. He needed to do this on his own. She had to allow him to do so. If all he asked of her was to look after his mother, then she would gladly do so. Anything to make his departure easier, in hopes that one day he would come back.

"Where will you go?" Olivia asked in a barely audible whisper but Fitz still heard her.

"My mother has family in Italy. Her cousin works in the Council of Ministers and is sure that he can get me an internship. I don't speak fluent Italian but I took some classes in college and hopefully some of it will come back to me. Either way, I hope to learn as much as I can and be useful. I need something to occupy my mind."

They stayed in silence. Olivia kept her gaze on his back, wishing he would turn around and all of sudden everything would be okay and right and they could move past the tragic event that claimed their lives. She wished for the return of his blue eyes. But he never turned. Olivia stood and finally said, "I will be happy to continue to look after your mother Fitz. It's not a burden or a chore; I would be happy to do so. Perhaps if you give me your email address, I can send you regular updates on what's going on here", she paused briefly and said, "Fitzgerald please don't leave here thinking that no one cares for you. We care for you more than you could ever know. I know you think of me as a little girl, but", she stopped because her voice broke out of emotion. "I want you to know that I do love you. I care for you and I want you to be happy. So take however long you need. Do whatever it takes to help you heal from this. And when you are done come home, knowing that there are people who want you here. People who need you here…..I will tell Trish you will be down momentarily."

She turned to leave but before she could exit, Fitz said, "Thank you Livvy, I love you too."

She closed the door behind her and she willed herself not to cry.

Now in the church, she watched as the Governor came down the aisle followed by Fitz pushing his mother. Fitz kept his sunglasses on; with his head erect looking straight ahead. They came and entered the pew in front of Olivia and her mother. The service began and it was beautiful. The priest highlighted Teddy's wonderful qualities and successful accomplishments. After the service, the priest came and shook hands with Gerry, Nattie and Fitz. He offered them comforting word and encouraged them to continue to look to the church for healing.

After the funeral, Gerry insisted on having friends and family come back to the mansion. He was really the only member of the family that socialized with everyone. Nattie had retired upstairs and Fitz was nowhere to be found. Olivia kept herself busy by ensuring everyone had what they needed. She knew the family had a staff that could service the guests but she felt she needed to do something. If she stopped moving she felt like she might breakdown from the weight of it all – Teddy's death and Fitz's imminent departure. Olivia saw Trish and Mellie huddled in a corner and wondered what their conversation was about. She made her way over under the pretense of filling drinks and eased closer until she was in earshot.

"So what are you going to do?" Trish asked.

"Nothing, daddy has taken care of everything," Mellie responded. "There is no need for me to say anything. Besides I'm the one who is alive; Teddy's dead, God rest his soul. I have to worry about MY political future. I can't be tainted by this incident. I have to move on."

Olivia turned away, disgusted by the conversation. _This is what Fitz meant, pretenses_, Olivia thought. It wasn't her place to judge whether Mellie really loved Teddy or not. She was just sad that Teddy spent his last years on earth being with such a woman.

When everyone had gone and the house was settled; Olivia tried to find Fitz to tell him goodnight. She had already seen after Mrs. Grant and made sure she was comfortable. As she was coming downstairs she heard raised voices in the study. It was Fitz and Big Gerry. Fitz had apparently chosen this time – the day before his departure – to tell his father that he was going away and would not be enlisting in the Navy.

"Son, we are a family of winners, not losers. Your brother understood that. When things happen as tragic as they may be, we stay and fight we don't run and duck for cover. I thought I taught you to be stronger than that. You are a Grant; you should act like one. You will go to the Navy as we previously arranged and you will not be going to Italy to stay with your mother's family that neither you nor I have ever met. I wish you were more like me, more like Teddy."

"You're right I'm nothing like you but neither was Teddy. We are both better men than you are. I'm not leaving because I'm weak. I'm leaving because I'm strong. I'm strong enough to understand that if I stay here I might literally kill you. You think I don't know what you did. Sure you fixed it so that no other papers spoke about the drinking and driving but that doesn't cover up what we both know you did. You really think mom and I are that stupid? And don't tell me you did what was best for this family because you didn't. You did what was best for you; all for you. You are a selfish son of a bitch. I'm leaving in the morning. You take care of yourself Gerry."

He left study although his father kept calling his name. When he came out he saw Olivia sitting on the first step of the staircase. As soon as she saw him, she stood up.

Fitz put his hands in his pockets and walked over to her, "Pitiful family aren't we? I bet you're sorry you ever got wrapped up in our lot." He tried to make light of it but she couldn't follow his lead.

"Don't ever say that. The summer I met your family was the best summer of my life. You are like my family."

He walked over to her and traced her face with his hand. He was thinking about something and frowning at his thoughts. He looked like he wanted to say something to her but kept convincing himself to be silent. "You really are a beautiful young girl Livvy. You will make some man very happy one day. Make sure he isn't screwed up like me or this family." He kissed her cheek and added, "I'll be gone when you wake up in the morning. I'll miss you Livvy. I love you, take of yourself. I'll be in touch soon." He gave her a final goodbye hug and took off upstairs.

True to his word, Fitz was gone by the time she woke up the following day. Olivia had cried herself to sleep and she woke up exhausted. She forced herself out of bed as she too had to pack her things so that she and her mother could leave the mansion today as well. As she was arranging her room, she noticed that an envelope pushed under the door. She picked it up and noticed that it was in Fitz' handwriting. She opened the envelope and found a thank you card inside that read:

_Dear Livvy,_

_Despite what you say, I know I have laid a heavy burden on you. In the past couple of days you have dealt with my family's emotional baggage and you continue to look after my mother. Please don't think I'm abandoning my responsibilities. I just need to be a better man so that I can give everyone what they need, including you. Don't ever change, sweet Livvy. It's a ridiculous cliché, but I love you just the way you are._

_Love, _

_Fitz_

Olivia folded the card and placed it in her suitcase. She didn't want to read it again because she was afraid she would start crying again. She continued to get dressed and pack all her belongings so that she could be ready when her mother wanted to leave.

Afterwards she made her way to Mrs. Grant's room. She was sitting up in bed writing on her journal which she put way when Olivia walked into the room. Olivia gave her a kind, sad smile.

"So he has left."

Olivia nodded yes and walked over and put her head in Mrs. Grant's lap. She burst into tears.

"I know sweetheart I know. He will come back, you'll see. And after searching high and low, he will realize that no one has loved him the way that you have. Please don't think I mean for you to put your life on hold waiting for Fitz; don't do that. I know you have come to care for Stephen too. He seems to be a good boy. He will treat you well." She never commented on how much Stephen looked like Fitz. She decided to let that one fact go. Olivia too, would find out soon enough that no one could take Fitz' place in her heart, no matter how hard they tried.

Olivia sat up, drying her eyes. "Thank you….I will be back in a couple of days to check on you. Maybe we can talk more then. I love you Mrs. Grant. Thank you for all the love you have shown me. I am so grateful to have you in my life."

She hugged Mrs. Grant tightly and left the room.

As Olivia and her mother drove away; she realized that she once again had a life-altering event at the Grant home. As she looked back, she was already missing Fitz. A dull ache had settled inside her and she was sure it would never fully go away until he was back at home. She would try to continue living her life. But what kind of life it would be, she knew not; it would surely be a shell of the life she had known and even less than the life she imagined.


	11. Gravity

**Gravity**

Natalia or Nattie, as she was called, sat in her wheelchair looking out the window. The seasons were changing again although California gave little to no evidence of it. She sighed from her weariness. She was tired of waiting. She had sat quietly in the background trying to allow people to figure out the proper course of their own lives. She had not interfered as she wanted to. Her patience, though, was not being rewarded. People, left on their own, sometimes made foolish decisions. And if she allowed the situation to play out, she was afraid that all she hoped for would burn in ashes. A series of events would be set in motion that would culminate in the misery and desperation of the two people she cared about most in the world. She needed to act now.

She knew that people were constantly underestimating her awareness of the activity in her household. She knew people thought her to be ignorant of her husband's affairs – business and personal. But nothing could be further from the truth. She knew exactly what methods were employed to secure her husband's re-election to the Governor position; despite the overwhelming evidence that the common people did not favor him. She never underestimated the lengths Gerry would go to just to get what he wanted. The ultimate question was, between she and Gerry who would be the final man standing? In this instance, her plans ran contrary to his but she was fine waging a silent battle against him. She had done it before and she would do it again. She was the victor before and she would be again. And as before, he would never even know that she was his most formidable opponent.

Most people looked at her in the wheelchair and felt pity. She too had felt sadness at her lot in life when the accident first occurred. But she soon she realized how she could use her disability and frailness to her own advantage. She found that people let their guard down when they believed they are dealing with someone who is weak and feeble. Her condition allowed her to listen in on conversations when people thought she was not paying attention. It allowed her husband to leave her to her own devices without interference. Gerry in all his wisdom, stupidly failed to account for Nattie's connections to people that if called upon could render all his power useless.

She was not a stupid woman; she understood how the world worked; everyone needed power. It was the only thing that guaranteed your security in life. The power could come from brute force but that was less sustainable since there would always be people bigger and stronger than you. It would be better if power came from information. And that is what Nattie had: information. She had enough of it to guarantee the outcome of events to her liking. She never acted selfishly, always for the benefit of the people she loved and this time it would be no different.

She picked up her cell phone. A phone she constantly kept by her side although few people knew she had. It was untraceable. In the event her husband ever tried to record or track her phone calls – he would find no information available.

She dialed a number she knew by heart. She never stored contact information in her phone.

"Hello. You know the information we spoke about. I think it's about time that we use it. I'll tell you when and where but please be ready. Thank you."

After she terminated that call, she dialed another.

"Hello, Dr. Stevens, it's Natalia Grant." She engaged in idle conversation with the doctor and then told him the purpose of her call. "I need your help doctor. I wonder if you wouldn't mind coming by the mansion for lunch tomorrow." It was a day she was certain that Gerry would be away from the residence.

When the doctor agreed, she thanked him and disconnected the call. She could now relax for a bit. Things would work out in the end and she would not have to be so weary of waiting.

XXXXXX

For Olivia, swimming had become therapy. From the moment she would dive into the cool, crisp water and feel the power of it rush against her body she felt released from everything that was weighing against her. She would stroke across the pool relentlessly, completing lap after lap – pushing past the soreness of her muscles that screamed for a reprieve. As she glided through the water, the voices in her head would reason out the chaos in her life, measure her decisions, weighing the pros and cons. And often times after much deliberation she would leave the pool ready to accept the challenge or make the sacrifice – whichever was needed.

During her first year at Yale University she joined the swim team, first out of a desire to ease the loneliness she felt and connect with other people. But she had come to love swimming. She felt powerful when she swam. She felt like she was racing against time; escaping all the things that were wrong with her life and pressing forward to the goal of happiness. And every time she won a competition she told herself she was inching closer to that goal.

She balanced her time between the swim team and the debate team. Joining the debate team was a spontaneous decision. She realized it was the best possible way to release a part of her character that she could not express otherwise. While in her personal life there was no justification to aggressively attack others, she still had a pressing need to do so. It was pent up aggression that she needed to release, so she channeled that energy into her debate competitions. She was petite in size and had an aura of sweetness about her that most often put her opponents off guard. She enjoyed watching them underestimate her intelligence and ability. She would argue her point with cool calculation, which caused the competition to stumble and stammer in confusion. She spoke rapidly with such a command of the English language that people had to think twice sometimes 3 times about what she said, before they could even respond to her challenge. She had become a master at it and she never lost – she would never lose.

Olivia was focused, driven to succeed. She forced herself to quickly adjust to her new life. Racially, she was still in the minority. And while some people goofed off their first year in college; Olivia could not afford do so. She would continue to keep her grades as high as possible. So she spent more time than probably necessary, studying and getting ahead of the class. Her roommate, Abigail or Abby, teased her constantly about studying too hard. She encouraged her to have more of social life – trying to set Olivia up on dates or inviting her to hang out with friends. Olivia normally declined. She preferred being alone. She quickly learned that getting too close to others, friendly or otherwise, diminished her control. She had to be in control of all facets of her life; she believed it would protect her from pain and heartache in the future.

A cliché is a trite expression that over time loses its originality and eventually becomes irritating the more you hear people repeat it. "Time Heals All Wounds" – Olivia disliked that expression most because it reminded her that significant periods of time had to past in order for her to forget the hurt and pain she experienced when Fitz left. The first year was the hardest. It was as if she walked around in a fog – living but not really living. Finding a rhythm in life was helpful. Knowing her routine without having to think about it made the people around her believe that she was fine but inside she was not. She had experienced her first heartbreak without actually having been in a committed relationship. And to Olivia that was the most pitiful part. Why was she in so much pain over a one-sided, unspoken relationship? The realization hit her that in losing Fitz she had lost her best friend, her only friend. The person she felt most comfortable with – to talk with, to laugh with and to share her life – it was all gone.

She should have cherished each moment of her senior year in high school; it was supposed to be one of the most memorable times in her life - the transition period between childhood and adulthood. She had a great boyfriend who adored her but no matter how hard she tried she could not escape the melancholy moments that would creep up on her unexpectedly. Stephen knew she wasn't quite as happy as she should be and although he never knew the cause he remained devoted to her. They went to prom and graduated together. But when it was time for summer break she knew it couldn't continue. He knew it too. He wanted to know why she seemed to carry this sadness with her but she couldn't and wouldn't explain it to him – and after some time, he gave up trying to find out. They knew it was over and it was a mutual break up – no anger, no animosity. Olivia wanted to give Stephen back his ring but he insisted that she keep it. He wanted her to have it to remind her of how much he truly loved her, if only she could have loved him as much. She never saw him again.

In her quiet moments, of which there were many due to her self-imposed isolation, she reflected on what the kind of love she wanted. And her thoughts would always drift to Fitz. She repeatedly chastised herself for allowing a childhood infatuation with him lead to the sabotaging of her relationship with Stephen – always trying to get him to measure up to the fairy tale of what she thought love should be. But she was a child, how could she really know what love was? How could she really know what it meant to love someone else? She had not yet understood her own wants and desires. Even now, when she was a woman, she still had trouble painting a clear picture of what she really wanted.

She hated feeling sorry for herself. She hated feeling pitiful. She was stronger than this. If she had learned anything it was to never allow herself to be in such a vulnerable position. If that meant she would be alone for the better part of her life then so be it; anything not to feel this weakness again. And for 3 years she kept herself busy almost to the point of exhaustion – so that she could forget and so that she could heal.

She fulfilled her obligation of updating Fitz by email with details of his mother's condition, but he rarely responded. She knew he was busy but she thought that as a friend he could take some time to write her back no matter how briefly. She then found out that after a year of being gone, Fitz had come back from Italy and soon thereafter enrolled in Harvard Law School. He had come home briefly to visit his mother before taking off again. Although Mrs. Grant tried to explain that he simply did not have the time to stay in California and visit with friends, Olivia took it personal. She felt like Fitz was deliberately ignoring and avoiding her. He knew she was enrolled in Yale and with Harvard being so close, a visit could have been arranged but he never contacted her. She gave up trying to reach him and realized that their relationship was something she built up in her mind. She had made it more important than it really was. And when she went to California for breaks and holidays and discovered that Fitz was conveniently absent for one reason or another, numbness began to develop within her. She became indifferent to conversations about Fitz and would often simply shrug her shoulder to any updated news about him. She no longer cared as much.

Just before winter break of her 3rd year in school she received a call from her mother confirming she would be coming to California for the holidays. Both Olivia's mother and father seemed to handle her like a delicate piece of pottery, afraid she would break at any moment. They constantly called for frivolous reasons; checking on whether she needed anything from them. They were both worried that she seemed to have no balance; all she did was study; there was no pleasure in her life. Olivia thought that was ironic considering that she was just like both of her parents who were more devoted to their jobs than any prospective love life.

"Mrs. Grant is not doing well. I'm glad you're coming to California. She will be happy to see you," Denise now said.

"What's the matter with her? I just saw her in the summer and she seemed fine."

"I don't have all the specifics but the doctor thinks it may be more mental than physical."

Olivia quietly reflected on what could've caused Mrs. Grant to take a turn.

"Livvy, there's something else…Fitz will be here. He's coming with Mellie, apparently they are dating," her mother seemed to be holding her breath waiting for Olivia's response. Olivia had previously confided in her mother about her feelings for Fitz. Denise told her that it was common for young girls to develop crushes on the men in their lives. Eventually her feelings for Fitz would pass.

Olivia laughed sardonically, "Well that was to be expected. I'm sure they make a great couple." And after a period of silence, Denise recognized that it was all she would say on the subject.

When she now arrived in California, she asked her mother to take her to visit Mrs. Grant as soon as possible. Her mother told her that it wouldn't be a good idea to go right now. Denise had been to visit her earlier and the doctor said that she really needed uninterrupted rest. Olivia frowned at this explanation. Something was just not right; her gut told her so. Before she could inquire further, her mother changed the subject and began asking her about her studies. She tried to distract Olivia by asking about her recent debates and her swim meets. Olivia humored her but was not distracted by the tactic.

Olivia called the Grant residence several times but the housekeeping staff kept saying that Mrs. Grant was too weary to talk on the phone. She settled for leaving messages. Her concern for Mrs. Grant intensified everyday and she again asked her mother to either take her to the Grant home or allow her to use the car to go by herself. Denise calmed Olivia down and reminded her that the Christmas party was the following evening and she was sure she would be able to see Mrs. Grant at that time. This did not settle Olivia's anxiety but she decided not to push the matter.

The following day, Olivia dressed for the formal Christmas party in a black and white, strapless, floor length dress with a high split. She hadn't worn anything this fancy since her prom night but she loved getting dressed up. She and her mother had their styling appointments earlier in the day and Olivia was very pleased with her appearance. As a finishing touch her mother gave her jewelry that was simple but elegant. "You are so very beautiful Livvy – a gorgeous woman." She smiled at her mother and blushed, never one to easily accept compliments about her beauty.

When they entered the mansion, they were led into the grand ballroom, already filled with many guests. The music from the band was so loud that it was almost deafening. Olivia sighed; she didn't want to be a party pooper but she didn't want to be a part of the celebration. She leaned over and told her mother, loud enough so that she could hear over the music, "I'm going up to see Mrs. Grant." Her mother nodded in agreement and watched her go.

Olivia made her way upstairs and knocked on Mrs. Grant's bedroom door. Inside there was Dr. Stevens checking her vital signs. "Hello Olivia, how are you?"

"I'm fine doctor. How are you doing?"

"Very well. It has been a long time since I have seen you. You look absolutely beautiful."

"How is she feeling?"

"Well she goes in and out of lucidity. She really just needs to get more rest. I don't recommend that you stay and tire her out. Perhaps tomorrow she would be up to having visitors."

"Ok", Olivia said as she bent down kissed her on the cheek and told her that she would return tomorrow to check on her. She thanked Dr. Stevens for looking after her and quietly exited the room.

She made her way back downstairs, lost in thought and hoping that Mrs. Grant was not as bad as she appeared. She was still too young to be so sickly and really there seemed to be nothing physically wrong with her. When she was half-way down the stairs she stopped as her breath was caught. Downstairs in the foyer were Fitz, Mellie and another man she had never met. They were all three laughing and drinking together. Fitz looked amazingly handsome; he seemed to have gotten even more beautiful with age – if that was possible. She could have stared at him for hours, that is until the man looked up and saw her.

"And who is that?" he said, admiring Olivia's looks. He was an attractive man; he wasn't quite as tall as Fitz but he looked handsome in his Navy uniform. Olivia kept frowning as she looked at all three, especially at Fitz. She continued her decent down the stairs.

Fitz was frozen at the sight of her. She was so much more beautiful than he had remembered. She had grown into a striking woman that nearly took his breath away. He couldn't think of what to say to her. Mellie noticed his reaction and cleared her throat. She walked over and hugged Olivia in greeting. "Livvy, how nice it is to see you. It has been quite a long time. I didn't know you would be here. We only just arrived a while ago ourselves. How are you doing?"

Olivia hugged her back and kept her eyes focused on Mellie as she spoke, "I'm very well thank you. It is good to see you also."

When no one introduced her, Olivia turned to the man and said, "Hello, my name is Olivia Pope."

He smiled and shook her hand, "Very nice to meet you Olivia Pope, my name is Jake Ballard." Olivia smiled back at him. He had a very welcoming smile.

"My goodness Olivia, it seems like ages since we have seen you. You must be 20 by now, or is it 21?" Mellie asked.

"I'm 20," Olivia answered. Mellie just stared at her and Olivia could tell that she was feeling a bit insecure by her youth and beauty.

Mellie soon recovered and turned to Jake, "Olivia was here often as a young girl but we have not seen her in many years."

Breaking the silence that settled in again, Olivia turned to Fitz and coolly said, "Fitz, it's nice to see you. Glad you are back, I'm sure your mother will be pleased", she gave him a brief hug, and then continued, "If you all will excuse me, I must find my mother." They all watched as Olivia walked away and made her way to the ballroom. Fitz still had not said a word.

Olivia tried to occupy her mind by greeting and talking with as many people as she knew at the party. She limited her time with the men as they seemed to lecherously look her over even with their wives and girlfriends present by their side. She went to the bar and asked for a drink – apple martini. She wasn't yet of age to legally drink but the bartender did not ask for her ID and she did not offer it. She needed something to take the edge off. She nursed her drink in quiet contemplation. There was none of the pain she thought she would feel at seeing Fitz again. She was irritated and annoyed because he was not the friend she thought or wanted him to be. It wasn't just the fact that he had ignored her for so long, didn't wish her well on her graduation or entrance into Yale; a large part of it was the fact that he would actually date Mellie – the fiancée of his deceased brother. It didn't matter that years had passed, in Olivia's opinion it was still ridiculous. She knew his father had arranged it but ultimately it was Fitz acceptance that created the situation. She was lost in thought and didn't realize that Jake had come over and asked for a drink of his own.

"So everyone calls you Livvy?" he said looking at her with a charming smile. Olivia couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Yes, they do. Are you asking permission to call me that as well?"

"I am."

"Permission granted. What is your rank in the Navy?"

"I am a Captain. I served under Teddy for a brief time but I've known the Grant family for many years."

"Are you on leave or have you been discharged?"

"Well I was honorably discharged and in a couple of weeks I will be transferring to a job at the Pentagon. That's my story in a nutshell. So tell me who are you, Olivia Pope? Oh I meant, Livvy," he said as he moved closer to her. Now their arms were touching.

"Well not anyone as important as you are, Captain Ballard. I'm just a friend of the family. My mother is the Governor's chief counsel and I'm here with her."

"Please call me Jake."

"Mmm I don't think that would appropriate", Olivia smiled. She liked his charming, flirtatious style; it made him more boyishly attractive.

"I think it is quite appropriate because I plan on asking you out on a date."

"Are you really? And how confident are you that I will say yes?"

"Well judging by your smile, I would say very confident. But something about the way you're talking is making me second guess it."

"Aww Captain Ballard don't second guess yourself. Even if you don't succeed this time, you'll just have to try again."

He laughed at her, truly enjoying her company. "So are you attached to someone?"

"At the moment I am not."

"Well judging by the looks you are receiving from the people in this room I think I better get you on the dance floor before some other guy tries to swoop in and steal you away from me."

Olivia laughed at him. She allowed him to lead her out to the dance floor. In the corner of her eye, she saw Fitz dancing with Mellie. From the outside looking in they made the perfect couple. They looked like they belonged together. And enough time had passed for people to almost completely forget that she was once with his brother Teddy. Or perhaps that didn't matter to people. She forced herself to forget they were in the room. If that was who Fitz wanted to spend the rest of his life with, what could she say about it? She truly wished him well.

Jake was a great dancer. He glided Olivia over the floor and she felt good in his arms. He continued to ask her questions about her life and school as they danced. The music was so loud that she could barely hear some of his questions but she answered as best she could. She could tell, though, how much he liked bending down and whispering in her ear when he thought she did not hear all of what he said. He seemed to linger by her earlobe and she wondered if he would actually take it into his mouth. Surely not on the dance floor, she thought, and certainly not since they just met.

When the song ended, he didn't release her immediately. He looked down at her and said, "Will you go out with me, Livvy?"

"I'm not dating Captain Ballard. But I thank you for your interest. Now if you will release me, I can go to the ladies room", she said smiling at him.

"You are gorgeous Livvy. I won't give up. I'm a Navy man; Navy men do not give up," he said confidently as he released her.

"Good to know", she said as she smiled and left him to go to the ladies room. After she freshened up a bit, she was headed back to look for her mother – surely it was time to go home by now. When she exited the ladies room, she found Fitz standing there waiting for her.

"Hello Livvy. It is really very good to see you."

"Hello Fitz," she said as she tried to skirt past him.

As she started to walk away, he said, "Will you at least let me apologize?" and she stopped in her tracks. "Please let me explain. I'm sorry Livvy."

She didn't want to turn around but her heart was pulling her toward him. It was like gravity – drawn, connected and chained to him. If she was honest with herself, the ache of wanting to be with him had never fully gone away; it had only lessened with time. But seeing him here – his strong beautiful features and the intensity of his blue eyes staring at her as she came down the stairs, all threatened to bring to birth the feelings she buried for so long. It was too much and she wanted to run, but run where? Any where she ran, he would always be there in her heart and in her mind. When she turned around, she was surprised to see the emotion on his face. He looked to be in pain – desperation and sadness. But she did not know why. She allowed him to walk up grab her hand and lead her to another room. He let her hand go when they were finally alone.

She immediately moved away from him; she did not trust herself being so close to him. She crossed her hands across her chest; a way of bracing herself, defending herself from whatever he was going to say. It would surely be something that would leave her longing for him all over again. She shook her head at herself, she didn't want this again. She didn't want to be under his spell; it hurt too much to feel anything for him.

"Livvy, aren't you even happy to see me?" He asked unsure of his standing with her. He was vulnerable. Fitz had no idea how to act in her presence anymore. All he knew was that when he saw her this evening, everything changed for him. Olivia was always beautiful young girl and now she was a woman. He didn't know how to deal with the emotions coming up within him. He was attracted to her with an intensity that almost scared him. It bothered him to see her enjoying herself with Jake at the bar and then dancing with him. He didn't like it. He knew Jake would ask her out and he hoped that she would reject him. Fitz knew he had no right or claim to her and there was no reason why she should not date whomever she chose. Yet he could not let another minute go by without talking to her alone.

She stood defiantly before him. She was on the defensive. He couldn't blame her. He knew how it all must have looked from her point of view. He had ruined their friendship by ignoring her for years and then he shows up with Mellie on his arm. He must look like the biggest jerk in her eyes. But he had to make her see. But see what? What she saw was truly who he was and now he felt ashamed of himself. Only Olivia had the power to make him feel shamed when he was not living up to what he knew he could be and when he was not being a better man.

"Should I be?" She asked back. And he looked down at his shoes.

"I hoped you would be," he was tiptoeing around the issue and she was getting frustrated.

"No you didn't. You didn't even know I would be here this evening Fitz. What is it you want from me? Why am I here?" she asked spitefully. She would give him nothing, she wouldn't meet him halfway. Whatever he wanted he would have to say all by himself, with no help from her.

"I'm sorry Livvy. I'm sorry I never responded to your messages and emails. At first I was just really busy and couldn't respond like I wanted to. Then I came home and Mellie started coming around. More than likely due to Gerry's influence, but she was different then before; I think we both had changed. We started dating. She was a big help to me in getting over my brother's death. I was thankful to her for that. Then I got busy preparing for my entrance into Harvard Law," Fitz said rapidly trying to run down every excuse he could find to explain himself. Olivia's look indicated that none he provided were satisfactory. She was still frowning.

"I still don't know what this has to do with me?"

"Livvy, you wouldn't be so angry if you didn't care about me."

"True, but you're a disappointment to me Fitz and I shouldn't care how you live your life. I shouldn't care about the ridiculous choices you make. It's really none of my business. So while I appreciate your apology and I accept it, everything else really has nothing to do with me."

He ran his hand through his hair. "I wish you would understand what it's like for me and the responsibility I have to my family."

"Bullshit!" Olivia spouted as she walked closer to him, invading his personal space.

"What?!"

She continued, ignoring the shocked look on his face, "Don't talk to me as if I don't know. I know Fitz, I know. Remember I was here. I heard you stand up to Big Gerry the night before you left for Italy. So don't tell me about your responsibility to your family and the choices you have to make because it all means nothing to me. You wanna know what I think. I think you're scared. For all your big bravado of running to Italy against your father's wishes, what do you do now – you fall right in line with his plans. And why? Because you are scared. Scared that you're not good enough to do this by yourself; afraid to stand on your own and be the man you want to be. Afraid you'll fail. So it's easier for you to just let Gerry dictate your life because then you won't have to be accountable; you won't have to worry whether things will work out because you know Gerry will make sure they will. You're being a coward."

He turned away from her and went to pour himself a drink from the cabinet. He downed it in one shot. He didn't like the turn of this conversation. He didn't like the picture of himself that she portrayed. He wanted to yell back at her. Tell her that what she was saying was not true. But he couldn't. Olivia really knew him and she was never afraid to tell him the truth about himself. He poured himself another drink and downed it as quickly as the first.

"Your father served Mellie up for you and you took it. You use her, she uses you and Gerry controls all of you. So don't try to make me feel sorry for you because I don't. Your speech about liars and pretenders - well guess what, you're the biggest pretender of them all." She stopped because she was getting worked up and it was exhausting.

He put his drink down and shoved his hands in his pockets. He still wasn't talking. She broke the silence, "You shouldn't have brought me here if you didn't want to hear the truth. You were lucky to have me as a friend. And just because you don't like hearing what I have to say doesn't make it any less truthful."

"You're right I was lucky to have you," he finally said in a deep quiet voice. He stared at her with an intensity that made Olivia shiver. If she didn't know better she would think the conversation had turned into something else entirely. The double meaning of his words made her frown in consternation.

When he walked back toward her; she took two steps back. It was fear; not fear that he would harm her but fear of what was happening. She almost laughed when she realized the irony of the fact that she had just called him a coward and she was now too afraid to stand her ground. But this was different. She felt like he was stalking her like prey. It made her uncomfortable. It was time for her to leave.

"I think it's time for me to leave."

He didn't want her to leave, he wanted her to stay. It had been a long time since he had been in her presence and he didn't want to let her go just yet. He tried to keep her talking but about a different, less hurtful, subject. "I heard that you go to Yale. I knew you would get in; I'm proud of you. You really have turned into a beautiful woman Livvy. I'm sorry that I destroyed our friendship. It was stupid of me but I….I had my reasons."

"It doesn't matter Fitz. I was obviously greatly mistaken in my understanding of our friendship. I think I was mistaken about everything I thought about you. I was young and naive," she said sadly. Olivia's intention was not be mean or spiteful but to convey the sadness she felt at the realization that Fitz was not the man she thought him to be.

He walked closer to her. "Livvy, I know that I have let you down. I was not a good friend to you; I ignored you and I deliberately avoided you. But can you please let me explain why?"

She was torn – scared to hear his reasons and scared not too. She decided it would be best not to open up the wound and just let everything go. "It's ok Fitz. It really is. I'm no longer angry; I've grown up and I let it go. I think we should just continue to live our separate lives. It was really good to see you this evening. And believe me when I say I wish you well."

When she went to reach for the door knob he was suddenly standing right behind her. She could feel his warm breath on her neck. He put his hand on top of hers and asked, "Will you come back tomorrow? You don't have to see or talk to me, just to visit with my mom."

She visibly relaxed. She sighed, never turning to look at him. He was much too close to her. "Of course, I will. Goodnight Fitz."

She left the room. She heard Fitz close the door and lock himself in. He obviously planned to stay there alone for some time, no doubt to drink away whatever it was he was feeling.


	12. Cords and Chains

_**(Thank you all so much for the reviews and comments. Some of you love the story; some of you hate the story. I appreciate all opinions and feedbacks; it motivates me to do better. Thanks again)**_

**Cords and Chains**

He knew he had to pull himself together. The longer he stood there the more the tears would fall; he couldn't hold them back any longer. He was thankful the rain was starting and the down pour would hide the sorrow on his face. He wondered if life would ever get easier for him or would it become increasingly difficult to live up to the idea of the wonderful man that now lay buried in the ground before him. Fitz stood before his brother's grave plot and felt the uselessness of being a survivor when someone you love dies. It was tremendously sad when he thought of everything Teddy could have achieved in his life – he could have been the President of the United States. He would have been an amazing President and Fitz would've been happy just to be by his side as a support in whatever capacity he needed. Teddy was everything – a great son, a great brother, a great person. Everything Fitz felt he was not. How was he supposed to fill those shoes? How was he supposed to fill in the vacant spot that Teddy left? It was impossible. Fitz wondered why he hadn't died instead of Teddy.

He was becoming soaked but he didn't seek shelter; he didn't put up his umbrella. He preferred to stand there and drown. He was so tired of the sadness in his life. Teddy was always the stronger one. He controlled the sun and Fitz was happy to stand in his shadow. While Teddy could take on the world and win; Fitz hadn't even qualified to enter the competition. He never developed the level of confidence that Teddy had; he wanted it and tried to display it on occasion but nagging doubts and insecurities would creep in and create fear. Teddy always said that Fitz' best quality was his desire to sacrifice himself for the happiness of others. But he warned him to be careful that his altruistic traits didn't lead to his own misery. His selflessness was admirable but not to the point of denying himself what he wanted in life. Teddy wanted him to be his own man, not the Governor's second son, not the Governor's namesake – but Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III. And now Fitz knew he owed it to Teddy to do just that.

Since his brother's death, Fitz felt like his life was on a downward spiral. He was more angry, withdrawn and despondent. He was no longer proud of the choices he made with his life. Before, he thought of himself as a good guy who for the most part did the right thing, but now he didn't know what to think. He just knew that his decisions of late didn't sit well with him. It only made him angrier. He had to take control of things quickly because right now the only person that seemed to be pleased with his decisions was Gerry and that wasn't good sign.

Fitz never expected his relationship with his father to improve. From a young age, he felt like he was a disappointment to him. Constantly being compared to the greatness of Teddy and living under the weight of inadequacy was hard. The achievements of Teddy were always great and something Fitz aspired to reach but could not exceed. He never resented Teddy for the comparison; on the contrary, Teddy had been the buffer trying to sooth any hurt feelings Gerry caused. For the longest time Fitz pushed himself harder and harder just to please his father; just looking for a slight hint that he was good enough – not better than Teddy or anyone else but simply good enough. It never came. And every time there was a slight glimmer of hope, Gerry would do something that would send Fitz over the edge and it would all go back to square one.

His father now wanted him to take Teddy's place – finish law school, marry Mellie, run for a seat in the California State Government, eventually become Governor and ultimately the President of the United States. While he was in Italy, he received countless emails from his father detailing the plans he had for him. Each one would end with a guilt trip so heavy that it would give Fitz a headache. His father exploited the heartache he felt over Teddy's death with comments like _"You want to make Teddy proud of you right?"_ He realized staying in Italy accomplished nothing, it only delayed the inevitable. So he came home and prepared to go to Harvard Law. Then his father sent Mellie to him. He knew why – Mellie was part of the plan; part of the deal; just like a business transaction. Initially, he rejected her. He didn't like her. But skilled as she was, she knew how to wear him down. He knew what she was doing but it felt good sit with her and reminisce about Teddy. And although he never loved her; she was pleasant to talk to. She seemed to be the only one who could relate to his feelings, understand his life and the challenges being a Grant presented. She encouraged him pursue his dreams, listened when he talked about what he wanted to do for his country and guaranteed him that he could it. Before long she was professing her love for him and he wondered what kind of love it was. Mellie was not the kind of woman to fall head over heels in love with anyone. He never told her that he loved her. He still couldn't quite accept the fact that he was dating and having sex with the woman that was engaged to his dead brother – it was like some Shakespearian drama or Greek tragedy. When he thought about it, he was ashamed of how he allowed himself to be manipulated by both Gerry and Mellie. The similarity between them was never lost on him. Ambitious, hungry, political amimals described them both. Their ultimate goal: the White House. Mellie desperately wanted to be a First Lady and she believed it would happen on the arm of a Grant.

It wasn't fair to place all the blame on Gerry or Mellie. It was his fault. He was the one that allowed them control his life. He let them manipulate him at every turn; the dreams Mellie once supported were now foolish and naïve. She agreed more with his father than with him. Their idea of motivating him was constant pushing for him to toughen up and work harder to reach the goal. He wasn't positive he could buy into their plan for him. He wanted to make a difference in the world; he cared deeply about social issues although his views were more liberal than most Republicans. He honestly felt he would have fit in more with the Democratic Party but any change in political affiliations was sure to get him disinherited to say the least. He would have been satisfied with a position in the state government, but President? Teddy was given years of pushing, encouraging and grooming so that he could accept the role. Fitz was not afforded that luxury. Teddy's death had propelled him into a role that he never once considered himself suitable for. He wasn't sure if he could fulfill it such a lofty role. _'Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them'_ he thought.

There was a gnawing feeling in his gut that he was standing on the precipice of something great and he just needed to reach out and claim it as his own. But he needed someone. Someone to stand by his side; to inspire him to do what was necessary to achieve HIS dreams; assure him that he was good enough and help to relieve his mind of the doubts and uncertainties. Someone he could trust unconditionally. Someone who didn't have a personal agenda of their own; whose motives he didn't always have to question. Even as he considered this, he realized how needy he really was. He should be able to do this with or without someone there beside him. He should be able to stand alone. And while he probably could if he tried, just didn't want to.

When he arrived back at home, his mother's nurse informed him that his mother was awake and asking for him. Not stopping to change out of his wet clothes, he immediately bounded for his mother's room. "Mom", he said smiling as he found her sitting up in bed, smiling back at him. He came into the room but stopped short when he saw Olivia was already there.

"Hi Livvy," he said in greeting to her and then turned his attention back to his mother. "I'm sorry I'm so wet; it's raining outside and I was at the gravesite.

"Oh Fitz, do not even concern yourself with that. Bend down and let me kiss your cheek. I've missed talking to you…to both of you", she said, now including Olivia.

Olivia stood from her seat, "Well I should let you two have some time alone."

"No I'll leave. I need to get cleaned up anyway", Fitz offered. They were earnestly trying to get out of the other person's presence.

Mrs. Grant looked back and forth between the two and thought, _'This is not good'_.

"Fitz you go change, get dry. Livvy can you please go and check on lunch? Both of you are having lunch with me here", she directed. Fitz and Olivia looked at each other, both frowning.

"Both of you should be back here in about 20 minutes", Mrs. Grant continued. She didn't leave any room for negotiation. Fitz complied and left the room first.

Olivia looked back at her and said, "I think I'm the last person Fitz wants to sit and have lunch with. I really think it is best for me to go now."

"You're wrong Livvy. I told you that many years ago and I'm telling you now. Will you trust me on this?" Olivia stared at her, trying to understand her reasoning. She sighed and left the room to do as she was directed.

Exactly 20 minutes later they had both returned. Olivia couldn't help but admire the way Fitz looked. He was so beautiful to her, always. Even when he got on her nerves, he was always so attractive. He had on a blue sweater that intensified his blue eyes and perfectly fitted some jeans. His hair was still a little damp and disheveled; there was a stray hair out of place. Olivia caught herself as she almost reached up to put it back in place.

When the staff brought in the lunch trays and exited, Mrs. Grant started asking questions of Fitz for updates on his life. Olivia sat in silence, listening but noticing that he left out Mellie. Did he think his mother didn't know about that particular detail?

"So when will I hear that you have gotten rid of Mellie?" she said, getting to the point. She kept her eyes on him, waiting for his reply. Olivia didn't make a move, wishing she could be invisible.

"Mom, it's not that easy," Fitz started. He noticed that Olivia's eyes were directed at him. He knew she was enjoying watching him squirm from his mother's inquiry. "Mellie is different from before. And she is very supportive of my goals. I think we will work well together." He knew he had just lied to his own mother. And as he looked at both of them, he could tell they had known he lied too.

"And now that you've told me how Gerry feels, tell me how you feel", she said softly.

Fitz stood up and put his hands in his pockets. He leaned against the dresser and began again, "Mellie and I will be fine together. I'm not guaranteeing that we will get married or anything. We are just dating."

"Do me a favor; think about your life in the future and who you want by your side through it all. Who do you want to share your joys, your successes, your defeats and your failures with? Who do you want to be there helping you through your roughest times and cheering you on in your greatest accomplishments? Believe me son, there is nothing worse in life than being tied to a partner that you don't love or respect. I want to save you from that life – it's sad, lonely and miserable. Don't settle for it Fitzgerald."

She knew it would have taken Olivia forever to get Fitz to admit his feelings about Mellie. So she had to intervene and force him to answer and think about things realistically. She also wanted Olivia to witness it; Olivia could now see how little Fitz cared for Mellie. Never once did he mention love for Mellie. He had spoken as if they had entered into a business arrangement, which is exactly what it was and she'd be damned if she would allow Fitz to sign his life away.

Fitz did not respond but he kept stealing glances at Olivia who stared back at him. "I understand what you're saying and I will think about it. I promise. I'm glad you are feeling better. I have to go now." He walked over and kissed his mother on the cheek. He looked over at Olivia and said, "Bye Livvy."

Olivia barely had a chance to respond before he was out of the room. Olivia now, too, stood to leave, "I better let you get some rest now."

"You can't deny what you saw here today so don't ever think that he could be happy with anyone else but you. Do you understand?"

"I understand," Olivia said although she still could not believe that Fitz would want to be with her or that she even wanted to be with him. She went over kissed her cheek and said, "Bye, I love you."

"I love you too."

XXXXXX

The Children's Miracle Network Foundation was sponsoring a new pediatric wing of the Cedars Sinai Hospital in West Hollywood. Governor Grant was invited to do the ribbon cutting ceremony as well as the guest of honor at the fundraiser formal dinner party to be held at the Ritz Carlton Hotel. Gerry thought this was a perfect opportunity for Fitz to join him at the event and in turn put himself in the public eye. It was a charity event and the coverage would be great; "You couldn't buy better press," Gerry had said. Fitz didn't mind going but it wasn't for the publicity. He could care less about getting his picture taken. He just loved kids. He had already done some work for the foundation and was happy to support its cause again.

Denise was already part of the team to travel with Gerry to Los Angeles but she wanted Olivia to attend also. Olivia had been sulking lately and she wanted to pull her out of it. Denise noticed that Fitz was carrying the same depressing attitude and since he had also agreed to come on the trip, she hoped it would do them both some good. They both liked helping others, they both liked children – so this event would be perfect for them, if not for anything else but to help them forget their own problems for a while.

When Olivia boarded the plane she noted the large traveling party already discussing the Governor's itinerary and speech. The security detail had taken up the entire back of the plane. She then saw Fitz. He looked handsome in his blue suit but the tie was horrendous, she wondered who picked it out for him. She did a double take when she noticed that he was wearing the pin she gave him for his graduation. She smiled to herself because it seemed like ages ago when she gave that to him. He was staring out the window, lost in thought. He flexed his chiseled jaw several times in concentration. He looked so sad and once again Olivia felt an undeniable urge to comfort him. She had noticed his bloodshot eyes when he came back from Teddy's grave; she knew he had been crying. She wanted to just hug him and assure him that whatever was troubling him would be fine. But she couldn't. They were not the same people anymore the circumstances of their lives had changed. Still her heart would always go out to him; he seemed so alone in his troubles, like no one else would bother to take notice or even try to help him. She saw the vacant seat next to him and decided she would take it. "Do you mind if I sit here?" she asked. He looked up startled by her presence.

"Of course not. Please," he said inviting her to sit down. He could tell she was a bit hesitant to sit next to him. Once again he wished that they could go back to the open friendship they had so long ago but he had damaged it and now Olivia could barely look and talk to him.

"Have you ever been to LA?" he asked trying to open up some sort of conversation.

"Yes, a couple of times. But not for some time now."

"Yeah me neither. At least this trip is for a good cause. I've helped out with this foundation before. I enjoy it; I like the kids," he knew he was rambling but he wanted her to relax and talk to him.

After several moments of silence, she asked in an uncertain voice, "Are you angry with me?" She realized how much it bothered her that he had barely spoken to her. She was upset at her conflicting emotions because she was the one who told him they should go their separate ways and lead their separate lives. It was obvious now that she didn't mean it. Ever since she met him, she was drawn to him, wanting to be a part of his life and she knew it would always be that way for her.

"What? Why?"

"Well I know I said some pretty harsh words to you the other evening and I didn't want you to think that I set up that mini-interrogation of you with your mother," she said as she searched his face to pick up on the emotions he was feeling.

"No Livvy, I'm not angry with you. If anything, I'm more concerned about the anger you have towards me. And although I'm sure everything my mother said you probably also agreed with, I know you didn't set that up."

"I'm not angry with you," she said.

"But you don't care anymore," he said definitively.

The pilot announced over the PA system that they were about to take off and every passenger needed to be properly secured in their seat. Olivia and Fitz didn't speak again until they were safely up in the air after takeoff.

"How often do you go to your brother's gravesite?" Olivia asked.

"Not as much as I should. I especially go when I feel like I need to think about things. It's hard not having him here. I could normally count on his support for everything," he said and sighed out of weariness.

Olivia looked at his strong profile and realized how vulnerable he really was. She knew he was now being asked to fill Teddy's shoes and it must be weighing on him fiercely.

"I'm sorry. It must be hard not having him here to talk to." He responded by nodding in agreement.

"The pin looks great on you," she continued. "I always hoped I would see you wear it one day."

He looked down at it and smiled at her. "It is the most precious thing I own. A close friend gave it to me a long time ago when she still liked me."

"Well you must have been a great guy at the time for your friend to give that to you. It seems like a rare gift," she said as her smile got brighter.

"It is. But the friend was more special. Her friendship was important to me and I screwed it up. Now she barely even talks to me."

"Well if she's that important to you, then I recommend you try harder. Anyone who would give you something like that must care about you a lot and that's not something that goes away easily, even if you screw up."

"Do you have any suggestions on what I can do to win her back?" he asked. He was so charming, Olivia felt like he could get her to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Her defenses were melting.

"You're a smart man, I'm sure you will think of something," she teased.

He laughed aloud. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed talking to her. He realized how much of her life he had missed out on and suddenly wanted to know everything about the adult Olivia.

"How much can you tell me about yourself in the next hour? I figure that once we get off this plane, things are going to get a bit crazy and we won't be able to talk like I want to. So start from the beginning, tell me about you, about Stephen who I assume you are no longer with, about Yale – everything."

"Is this a girl talk session?" she joked.

"It's whatever you want it to be", he said in a low deep voice and then continued, "but I prefer to think of it as me wanting to know you better." Olivia shivered under his intense gaze. It took a moment for her to remember what he was asking and to respond. When she finally started talking again she filled him in on as much as possible and he was attentive to all the details, relishing in how good it felt to just be in her presence and to share in her life.

By the time they arrived at the hotel it was time for dinner. Gerry suggested that they all dine together at Mastro's Steakhouse in Beverly Hills. He had one of the staff members call ahead and have the restaurant cleared for their group. They traveled to the restaurant in multiple dark tinted SUV's and Olivia wondered how people in high-ranking political office got used to traveling this way. She thought it would irritate her to have such an entourage around her all the time.

She wasn't in the same vehicle as Fitz and had not seen him until they arrived at the restaurant. "Hey beautiful", he said coming up from behind her. Fitz enjoyed the opportunity to look Olivia over before she was aware of his presence. Every time he saw her he was amazed at how beautiful she was. She had changed into a black pencil skirt, short belted jacket and high boots. She had just gotten out the car and was arranging her appearance when she heard him.

"Hey yourself…..I'm so glad you changed that tie. I meant to tell you that the other tie was horrible. Probably something you want to put in the very back of your closet, so far back you'll never remember it's there."

"Wow," he said smiling, pretending he was wounded. "I guess I should thank you for taking an interest in my fashion sense. I definitely need to keep you around then otherwise who knows what I will look like when I leave the house."

They stood there on the curb of the restaurant staring at each other oblivious to the other members of the party and security milling around them. Drops of rain began to fall down and Olivia squealed. Fitz, by instinct, grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him to shield her from the rain. He hurriedly helped her get into the restaurant before she got wet. "Thank you," Olivia said faintly, she was nearly breathless by his chivalrous gesture.

He took her coat and hung it up in the restaurant and escorted her to a seat right next to him. She and Fitz sat at the far end of the table. On the opposite end were Gerry and Denise with a host of staffers in between. Everyone ordered dinner and drinks. Olivia didn't want to offend anyone at the table so she chose a non-alcoholic drink being that she was still technically underage. She was surprised though that Fitz ordered a non-alcoholic beverage as well. When she shot him a questioning look, he smiled and responded, "When you're around, I need to keep a level head. I have to be prepared for whatever may happen." Olivia blushed at his statement.

Everyone was enjoying their meal as Gerry's booming voice drowned out side conversations anyone attempted to have. He was telling a funny story about Teddy which made everyone laugh except Fitz. He ended the story by saying, "I miss my son. It would have been perfect having him here. I was so proud of him." He raised his glass and invited everyone to toast to Teddy. All at the table raised their glass and said "To Teddy", Fitz participated but Olivia could see the sadness in his eyes.

"But my other son, Fitzgerald is here with us. And son," he said, now directing his comments to Fitz, "We will get you up to par really soon. Before long you'll almost be as good as your brother." Fitz said nothing but raised his glass and nodded his head to his father. His comment added tension to the atmosphere and Denise cleared her throat and changed the topic to something related to the ceremony. Olivia watched Fitz stare at the glass in front of him, again lost in thought. She thought maybe he was wishing he had something stronger to drink. She reached over and squeezed his hand as a show of support. When he looked over to her, she tried to give him a reassuring smile.

The dinner continued with Gerry telling stories, commenting on current events and relating his plans for measures and propositions he wanted passed. Every now and again he would direct a comment to Fitz but it was always pointed and slightly insulting to emphasize his faults or his inferiority to Teddy. Fitz handled the comments with a slight smirk but never answered in return. By the end of the evening, Olivia wanted to slap Gerry. She couldn't get out of there fast enough. She was very happy they were going back to the hotel to retire for the evening. She didn't ride back in the same vehicle as Fitz but she worried about him; she could feel the moment he withdrew from the group. He was there in body but in mind he was somewhere else entirely.

As soon as they arrived to the hotel, she saw Fitz head for the bar. She bid her good-nights and followed behind him. "Do you mind some company?" she asked when she reached him.

"Are you sure? I don't think I'm very good company tonight," he said as he waited for the bartender to come and take his order.

"I think you are but how about we walk to that Starbucks up the street and grab a cup of coffee. The rain has stopped and the fresh air would do us both good. The coffee will keep us up while we talk," she suggested with a loving smile.

"Are you afraid I'll get drunk?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, I am. And I'm afraid once you're drunk one of two things will happen – either you'll pass out and I won't be able to get you to your room or you'll say things you don't mean and won't remember to have said."

He looked at her, weighing his options. He wanted her to stay with him and he thought she just might leave if he started drinking. So he opted for the coffee. "Alright you win, let's go."

They walked to the 24-hour Starbucks. Olivia was thankful that the place was pretty empty, except for some people dressed in doctor scrubs occupied by their laptops. She found them a quiet place in a corner to sit.

"So tell me," Olivia started, "have you found it yet?"

"What?"

"The key to your happiness…If you recall when we first met you told me that's what you wanted out of life…to be happy…So what will it take to make Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III so ecstatically happy that his eyes are blue all the time."

He laughed. "You know you've always been the only person who made comments about my eye color change."

"Really?" it seemed so obvious to her she just assumed everyone else noticed it to.

"Yes, no one else notices that type of thing."

"You've changed the subject."

"I know it was on purpose. I haven't figured it out yet."

"Mmmmm, I think you've figured it out and are just afraid to act on it."

"Are we back to the coward thing?"

She instantly felt sorry for having said that to him the other night, especially after watching the interchange between him and his father tonight. She spoke rashly from her perspective only, never once considering how deep his insecurity went or the toll it had taken on him.

"No you're not a coward Fitz and I'm sorry I said that. I was speaking in the heat of the moment and it just irritated me to no end to find you with Mellie. I'm still trying to recover from that one."

He went quiet on her and now she regretted bringing up Mellie. "Can we be honest with each other?"

He stopped focusing on his coffee cup and looked up at her, "I thought we were already doing that?"

"Not quite…I want to try…being friends again…but here's the thing, I feel like I can barely talk to you because I might say the wrong thing or bring up the wrong topic that will send you over the edge or something. I can't walk around on eggshells with you. I have to be able to say what I feel, what's on my mind without fear that you'll shut down on me."

"No filter, right?"

"No filter," she smiled remembering how he always teased her about being too open with him.

"Honestly, I'm so used to being around people who I can't be open with. People who I can't talk to. I think it has made me more reserved, more guarded. With most people it's a good thing. With you, it's not. I need to remember the difference."

"In that we are the same. I never found a replacement for you. Once you were gone, there was really no one else I could open up to. There was no one I felt comfortable enough with to speak freely, unfiltered," she said smiling.

They both fell into silence, reflecting on what was said.

Olivia felt like they couldn't move forward without asking the 'million dollar question'. "So tell me why?" she said and he looked at her in confusion, she continued, "You wanted to tell me why you ignored me and never responded to me. Tell me why?"

He paused and sat there staring at her for minutes. He didn't know if he was ready to say something out loud that he had never admitted to a single person. He wondered how she would respond, if her opinion of him would change, especially since their relationship was still on shaky ground. But she deserved the truth. She deserved to know how he really felt about her. He couldn't let her think he never cared for her.

"Ah Livvy", he sighed and leaned back in his chair. "You really have no idea do you?" She shook her head.

"Well primarily my reason for leaving was my brother. It was true; his death had affected me in a major way and the way the accident all played out still bothers me to this day. But I felt like I needed to get away from everything and that included you. I had to break away from you," he paused and watched a frown come upon her face as she tried to understand.

"I knew our relationship was too close. I was confiding in you too often and our friendship was developing in a different direction, it was creating an impossible situation. I knew you liked me too much. I realized it the night of my graduation party. The gifts and Stephen, who by the way looked like my doppelganger", he said with a smirk, and then he continued, "You were too young and I needed our relationship to remain platonic. But I was becoming attracted to you and I felt like a perverted old man. I couldn't stay around you. I was upset with myself. So, yes I left because of Teddy but it was also because of you Livvy."

Olivia was silent. She had not expected this. She had no idea their relationship was affecting him in this way. In this situation, he was more skilled than she in keeping his feelings hidden.

"I need you to know that I never stopped caring about you. I know you feel like I just forgot about you but I didn't. When I came home this time for the holidays I wasn't sure if I would see you again but I wanted to. I was hoping that after all this time; we could try to become friends again."

Olivia stared down at her coffee cup; she was touched by what he said. It felt good to know that she wasn't the only one who had started developing feelings. But all that didn't matter now because he was with Mellie. She decided then that she wouldn't make him feel bad about his choice. She would try to support him in any way she could.

"Your right, I was too young back then. And what I felt for you was inappropriate. I soon realized it. But it is in the past and it's over. It does no good to feel bad about it now. But I'm glad you told me, I feel like now we can move forward as _friends_," she emphasized the word friend to help him understand that a friendship was all she asking for.

Once again they fell into silence. Both realizing the depth of the conversation they were having and how it exposed feelings that both of them repressed for their own reasons. Both of them wondering whether as adults, they had any right to act on those feelings now.

"As a friend, I have to say I don't like your father," she said in an effort to lighten the mood.

"Well that makes two of us. He is definitely not my favorite person."

"I'll say this and it will be the end of my motivational speech for tonight," she started with a warm smile. She reached over and grabbed his hand and continued, "You are enough. You can do whatever you want without him. You don't need his power or influence to help you; you can be your own man. You don't owe him anything."

He soaked in her words. It had an amazing affect on him. When she said it, he truly believed it. He believed that he could do what he wanted without his father. She made him feel like he was good enough to do it. She made him feel loved, wanted and safe.

XXXXXX

The ribbon-cutting ceremony was a success. Cameras went off in rapid succession taking photos of the Governor and his son standing side-by-side for the event. Several reporters asked for comments from Fitz and he answered their questions with poise and eloquence. He was at ease in front of the camera; there was no indication of nervousness or apprehension. They especially wanted to know when he would be running for a political office but he responded with the 'Grant charm' and stated that he needed to finish law school first.

They were given a tour of the new wing. Olivia watched as the Gerry and Fitz shook hands and smiled at the nurses and doctors. Olivia thought Gerry's manner was disingenuous. But Fitz had a way of interacting with people that could make them feel like they were the only person in the room. He gave his undivided attention to whomever he spoke to; never rushing them through their conversation but showed genuine interest. Olivia smiled noticing that several of the young nurses lingered in Fitz' presence and would frequently seem to find a way to touch him during the conversation. When they came upon a room with several young children playing, Fitz went inside. He introduced himself to the children and began interacting with them. He loosened his tie and took off his jacket. The nurse came up and told him that it was story time. Fitz asked if he could read the story to them and she responded with an elated "Yes".

Olivia watched Fitz with pride. She knew he didn't do it for publicity or photos but he really cared for the children and wanted to do something to show his concern. He spent an hour with the children. By this time Gerry and his entourage continued on with the tour and follow up discussions. Olivia stayed back with Fitz. "That was beautiful," Olivia said as she helped him put on his jacket and straighten his tie.

He shrugged as if it was no big deal. "Yeah well I like children," he said, slightly embarrassed by her praise but enjoying the attention she gave to helping him adjust his appearance. "What about you?" he asked as they walked to meet back up with their group.

"What about me, what?"

"Do you like children? Do you want children?"

"I do and I do; now whether that actually happens remains to be seen. In case you haven't noticed I have pretty high standards; it'll take a lot for a guy to meet them. But we will see," she said smiling as they finally met the group and stopped their conversation.

XXXXXX

The Fundraising Dinner at the Ritz Carlton brought out the local politicians and several elite celebrities. Olivia tried not to be star struck when she saw some of the people she grew up watching on television and in the movies. She was glad that she followed her mother's advice to go to the nail and hair salon before the event. She was also thankful for the new dress her mother bought her to wear this evening. She felt like she fit into the Hollywood Glamour atmosphere.

Most of the people they traveled with already at the event. Only Denise and Olivia were late due to their last minute preparations for the evening. When they arrived, people were still mingling while others were seated at their assigned tables. One of the waiters offered to assist them in locating their table and Denise thanked him. He led the way with Denise following close behind. Olivia went to follow as well but she was stopped by someone tapping her arm.

"Excuse me, have we met before?" the man asked. Olivia recognized his face from television but could not remember his name. She was embarrassed because he probably expected her to recognize him.

"No I don't believe that we have."

"Well that is shame because I was hoping that we had. I was hoping you would remember me, I would remember you and we could spend the rest of the evening catching up," he said smiling. He was a very handsome man. He was a little too short for her taste and his voice was nasally but he seemed nice enough.

She smiled back, "Nice, good job. My name is Olivia Pope, what's yours?"

"Jonathan Hill, very nice to meet you Olivia Pope," he shook her hand. The Master of Ceremonies got on the microphone to announce that dinner was being served. "Olivia, I hope you will save at least one dance for me," Jonathan said and released her hand.

"If I dance this evening Jonathan, I will hold a spot open for you," Olivia said smiling back at him. She then made her way to her seat at the table. She was surprised to find that she was sitting next to Fitz. She thought he would have been sitting at the head table next to his father. When she arrived, he got up and helped her into her chair.

He read her mind, "I was supposed to sit with him but I changed the seats. I hope you don't mind. You look beautiful, very beautiful."

"No I don't mind and thank you. You look very handsome yourself. You may have to fight the women off; I'm looking around and I can see a number of them starring at you already. Better watch out," she joked.

He groaned. "I think one lady pinched my butt when I walked in," he said and she laughed.

"It's your own fault, handsome, charming, looking sexy in a tux; how do you expect women to respond? They'd have to be dead not to respond," she continued teasing him. He stared at her wondering just how she was responding to him but he dismissed the thought.

"Can we just pretend we're here together? If we stick together all night then I'll be safe from these pushy women and I won't have to fight off all these guys staring down your dress, which is very, very sexy by the way but entirely inappropriate for this crowd. The men can't focus for looking at you, especially that guy you were just with. Look he's frowning watching me talk to you. He already thinks we're together. Let's have a little fun…." He reached over, placed a strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek. He lingered longer than he should have and then whispered in her ear, "I think they're jealous of me right now."

He pulled back and stared at her. This was a new dynamic to their relationship; to be able to playfully flirt with one another as adults was different and exciting. As much as Olivia enjoyed this side of him, she warned herself not to get to relaxed; she needed to remember that he was still with Mellie and they were just starting to become friends again. She couldn't lose her heart to him…again.

Fitz was having trouble keeping himself away from Olivia. He was honest enough to admit that he was very attracted to her but he excused it because any heterosexual man who met her would be attracted. But there was something else there. He wanted to be with her, in her company, to laugh and talk with her. It seemed so natural; it wasn't forced, it was genuine and comfortable. He honestly didn't know if he could keep her in the friend zone, especially now when the age difference wasn't hindering their relationship. All he knew is that the more he saw her the more he wanted her. He wasn't certain whether she felt it too; he knew she didn't quite trust him as she did before and he would work on rebuilding that. He knew she was guarded because of his relationship with Mellie. Thinking of Mellie made him frown and he didn't want to damper the evening, so he refused to think of her. How could he settle for Mellie when being with Olivia gave him so much more?

But he couldn't help comparing Olivia to Mellie. Olivia was amazing, beautiful and supportive of him unconditionally. Even after he hurt her deeply she still cared about him. Whenever he thought about Olivia there was a smile on his face. When Olivia entered the room, no one else mattered to him. He loved laughing and fighting with her - it didn't matter, as long as he was with her. And when he thought about Mellie, he felt a prevailing sadness about his life. He couldn't see a happy life with Mellie, not the way he saw it with Olivia. His life would only be complete with her. But he could not be sure that if he broke off with Mellie, whether Olivia would want to pursue a romantic relationship with him. She had barely just agreed to be his friend. What if she didn't like him in that way? What if she only wanted to be friends? What if she couldn't trust him enough to give her heart to him?

Gerry was giving a speech and Fitz tried to pay attention to what was said. When he tried to focus, Olivia would move slightly and her movement would catch his eye. He was fast becoming infatuated with her. Her golden skin, he large brown eyes, her dark sultry hair and the amazing figure she had was captivating him. Before he knew it, his father's speech was over and he couldn't remember a word that was said. He hoped no one would ask him about it later.

The dancing was starting. Fitz wanted to grab Olivia and dance with her the entire night but he knew he couldn't. It wasn't fair to monopolize her time when he still had not made a break from Mellie and was not free to be with her. But he could feel the jealousy coming up if any other man came to claim her for a dance. That couldn't happen. Fitz decided that he didn't care, he wanted to dance with Olivia and he would be the first to ask her.

"Will you dance with me Livvy?" he asked and she turned to him startled by the question.

When she was about to respond, Gerry appeared with a man and a young woman who appeared to be his daughter. She was beautiful. A tall blonde girl, with blue eyes and an amazing figure which she exposed in all the places necessary to get a man's attention. "Fitzgerald, I'd like for you to meet someone," Gerry said.

Gerry introduced Fitz to Senator Roberts and his daughter Sharon. Fitz could smell a set up a mile away. His father was working on a plan B - in case it didn't work out with Mellie, Sharon could be a back-up plan. No doubt this was due to some type of business deal Gerry was making or attempting to make with the Senator. Fitz shook everyone's hand and while the girl was attractive enough, these kinds of meet-ups disgusted him. He always felt like a pawn on a chess board being moved around by his father and he was tired of it. "Fitzgerald, why don't you take this beautiful girl Sharon for a twirl on the dance floor?"

Fitz smiled and said, "I would Gerry but this beautiful lady, Livvy, already promised me the first dance." Olivia was quietly watching the interchange with much interest but almost gasped aloud when Fitz rejected Sharon for a dance with her. Of course she accepted his hand and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. She could feel the burning looks from the group she left behind.

"Are you trying to grow a pair tonight?" Olivia asked him jokingly. Fitz laughed at her.

"I'm just tired of being used by Gerry."

"Mmm" was all Olivia said as she was careful not to miss a beat.

"What? You don't believe me do you?"

"Well you have to admit sometimes you go back and forth - two steps forward, three steps back."

"Are you counting your dance steps or describing my indecisiveness?"

"What do you think?" she said raising her eyebrow. "Listen, just so you know, I'll support you no matter what you decide. I'll even agree to be a bridesmaid for Mellie if she asked", she laughed and continued, "whatever you think would make you happy, I'm here to help you get to it."

"Are you trying to fix my life?" he said smiling down at her.

"Your own personal fixer," she explained. "Don't dismiss the girl just because she happened to come at Gerry's insistence. She might be a nice person."

"Do I have your permission to cheat on Mellie?"

"What I'm saying is that if you are unsure about Mellie, then keep searching. You could probably have any girl in this room lusting after you."

"Does that include you?" he asked before he thought better of it. She missed a step out of shock at his question.

"And how exactly would someone like me fit into your political goals and aspirations?" it was a rhetorical question that she didn't expect him to answer. She continued, "My point is, don't settle for something you don't want. There is no rush; you don't have to make Mellie you one and only choice. Unless you love her."

"You already know that I don't love her."

She decided there was no need to respond to that statement. It was best to just keep dancing.

Gerry found Denise in a discussion with several people. He apologized for interrupting the conversation but asked her, "Can I talk to you in private?" Denise noticed the sharpness in his voice. He was obviously angry about something but trying not to appear so in public.

"Of course," she responded and followed him out of the hall to a private corridor.

"What the hell is going on Denise? Did you set your daughter up to get to my son?" Gerry yelled.

"What are you talking about Gerry? And you need to remember who you are speaking to and check your tone," Denise said daringly.

"You know what I'm talking about. I'm not stupid. I see that relationship developing between my son and your daughter. What I can't understand is why you are sitting by and letting it happen. You know all she can ever be to him is a mistress. Is that what you want?...Like mother, like daughter?"

She slapped his face. "You son of a bitch! How dare you assume that your son is even good enough for my daughter!"

He recovered quickly. "Fitz will marry Mellie; I have a lot riding on that marriage. It will happen. You need to do your job. Fix it! I don't care how but you need to fix it!" He stormed away from her.

She had to take several deep breaths to calm down. _'Damn, damn'_, she thought. She did have to fix it. She had to do it fast. But fix it for whom?


	13. Hazy Shade of Winter

_**(This is a long one; so hopefully I won't lose you. As usual I hope you enjoy and feel free to leave feedback – like it, love it, hate it – I love it all! Thanks for taking the time to read.)**_

**Hazy Shade of Winter**

"Fitz is a man-child who needs a firm hand to push him in the right direction. It actually can be quite tiring at times. He's not as strong as Teddy; he needs to coddled. God, sometimes it's like he's my insecure child. I have to constantly reassure him, encourage him to do what needs to be done….So really dear you couldn't have handled him. He would have been too much for you. You should be thankful that you don't have to deal with it," Mellie said as she reached over and patted her friend's hand for supposed consolation.

"I guess so," Trish replied unconvinced.

"You should be happy with the Congressman's son. He's attractive, a little rough around the edges but you know he just needs a woman's touch. You'll do fine together."

Trish hated Mellie's condescending tone. It was offensive the way she talked to her as if she was a 6 year old barely able to understand the English language. Mellie didn't care whether Trish liked Fitz or not. Once Teddy had died, Mellie had set her sights on the younger brother. It only helped that her father and the Governor had some type of agreement that guaranteed her cause would be successful. It didn't matter to Trish that she had found someone else while Fitz was in Italy; she believed in the unwritten code that you don't date your friend's ex-boyfriend. Apparently Mellie didn't share the same moral code. Trish never said anything about it because whatever Mellie wants Mellie gets. It had always been that way since they were young girls. Mellie was bossy and controlling. She practically forced Trish to be her friend possibly because everyone else refused to be. But Trish had dealt with it all these years because Mellie knew her family's power and would wield it against anyone who didn't do what she wanted. Sometimes she scared Trish with the way her mind worked, especially when she was looking to exact revenge on a person she thought to be her enemy.

One of the household staff brought the morning paper for Mellie to read. "Thank you," she responded.

Trish continued to eat breakfast and was startled to hear Mellie yell, "Oh my god. What the hell is this?"

Mellie was reading the Sacramento Bee which had an article highlighting the Governors recent trip to LA to participate in the fundraising dinner. The article also mentioned the Governor's handsome son, Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III. Several pictures of the Governor and his son were in the article but then one picture showed Fitz dancing with Olivia Pope and the caption read, 'Governor's son dancing with his beautiful date'. Mellie was angered, not just from the picture but also because Fitz was looking at Olivia as if he adored her – a look that he had never given to Mellie. Did Fitz actually like Olivia? Wasn't she like his little sister? Yes she was an adult now but she thought Fitz still considered her as one of the family? Obviously this was not the case – Fitz was not looking at her like a sister, he was looking at her as if he was falling in love with her. Mellie didn't even know Fitz was attracted to Black women. This was ridiculous, stupid and it would not do. She had not sacrificed for nothing – given up her lover just so that she could convince Fitz that he needed to be with her - to now see him blowing it all for this little girl. What the hell did he think he was doing?

She didn't for one minute think this impending marriage had anything to do with love or feelings; it was an arrangement. She cared about Fitz but she wasn't in love with him and she knew he wasn't in love with her. But she would not allow herself to be made a fool of as he publicly paraded his feelings for Olivia so the world could see. Whatever was happening, he would need to cut it off. This arrangement was going to happen no matter what.

She stood up and told Trish, "Excuse me; I have to make some phone calls." She left the room to call her father and the Governor. This would have to be fixed right now. There was no way Olivia Pope was going to come in between all that she had sacrificed for. She considered that there was another person that she could call; he would certainly be able to help her in this matter. If for nothing else, he would serve his purpose as a distraction and who knows, if he worked real hard, it would be an added bonus if he sabotaged Fitzgerald's plans all together.

After she left, Trish picked up the paper to see what had disturbed Mellie. She noticed the picture of Fitz and Olivia. Trish laughed to herself. Mellie really couldn't compare to Olivia. Mellie didn't realize that she was not a nice person and therefore people really didn't want to be around her. But Trish remembered how sweet Olivia was. And looking at the picture, she could see how what a beautiful woman Olivia was. She could definitely understand why Fitz was falling for Olivia. She hoped he would continue to pursue Olivia and give up Mellie. She didn't wish Mellie on her worse enemy. Trish laughed again thinking how exciting it would be to see her friend lose at something for the first time in her life.

XXXXXXX

Denise had been trying to get a moment alone with Fitz for several days. It had been difficult because Fitz was working longer hours at the capital and as a result they never crossed paths. The New Year's Eve party was coming up and she needed a resolution to the matter before then. Today, she hoped she would find him home. She left Olivia at the office, not wanting her to be aware of the conversation.

She walked in the room and saw that Fitz was sitting at a desk pouring over some paperwork. She greeted him because he kept his back to the door and had not looked up when she walked in. He still had not turned around to her but responded, "Hi Denise, are you looking for Gerry?"

"No I needed to talk to you."

"Oh what's up?" he said, still not turning around to her.

Denise wanted to get to the point quickly. She said, "Are you falling in love with her?"

He still had not turned around but he stopped writing and put down his pen. The question had captured his full attention. He stood up and turned around to face Denise. He knew exactly who she was speaking of. He didn't respond to the question. He continued to look at her and put his hands in his pockets.

"Gerry demanded that I fix this situation – fix you and fix Livvy. Apparently, it was pretty obvious at the dinner that you two have feelings for each other. I don't know if you have seen the newspaper, I'm sure your father has, although I haven't talked to him yet. And I can't say I'm looking forward to that conversation. But I need to know from you Fitz; I need to know how you feel."

"I don't know Denise; I honestly don't know." He had seen the paper and his heart leapt at the sight of the picture of him and Olivia. He thought they looked perfect together; like two people in love and he wished it was the case.

She paused, trying to assess her words, cautioning herself not to say too much. "What you need to understand is that this marriage between you and Mellie is not just about your father wanting you to fill in for Teddy. It's more than that, it's much more. Your father has something else going on that requires for this marriage to take place. If it doesn't happen it will be bad for him and ultimately bad for this family. So what you need to consider is whether you can handle that. Can you handle taking the risk for Livvy?"

She saw the turmoil on his face and felt sorry for having to put him in this difficult position. But it couldn't be helped.

She continued, "You and I have always dealt honestly with each other. You are the only one who knows about me and your father. You know what it took for me to break it off and the pain that came with it. You saw it firsthand. So I know, that you would never condemn my daughter to that life. You would never disappoint me by making her your mistress. Promise me that if you make the decision to marry Mellie, you would never for one minute consider putting Livvy in that position."

"You never broke your promise and I'm promising you that I would never do that to Livvy. I care about her too much to have her live that type of life. If I decided I wanted to pursue a relationship with Livvy – it would be all or nothing. If we couldn't have a legitimate relationship I would let her go. She deserves to be with someone who is hers alone."

Denise visibly relaxed, she knew the type of person Fitz was and she believed that he would never treat her daughter in such a way but she still needed to hear it from him.

"I don't take on lost causes or cases that I can't win. I can fight for you and Livvy but I won't do that if you don't fight with me. You have to make the decision Fitz. Because if I fight your father, I will win; there is no question. But if you decide to make the sacrifice and marry Mellie anyway, neither Livvy nor I would be angry – we wouldn't love you any less. But you, of course, will have to accept the fact that Livvy will move on; she will learn to love and be happy with someone else. And you will have to watch that happen knowing what could have been and condemning yourself to a loveless, cold marriage in the process."

This situation was eating him up inside. With all of his being he wanted to be with Olivia. But could he risk everything for it? What would it do to his mother and their family? What type of hardship would it bring and was he strong enough to bear it? He was truthfully starting to fall in love with Olivia but was she feeling the same way? Was she willing to fight with him too? The alternative scared him even more – a life with Mellie while constantly thinking and wishing that he made a different choice? If he couldn't have Olivia, it would be a life of regret and pain without happiness.

"I wish there was more time for you to consider this Fitz. But I'm racing against the clock. I will let you think about what I've said but I need an answer soon," she said. She was about to leave him but then turned around with one final word, "Don't for one moment doubt Livvy's love for you. She loves you, even more than she did when she was younger. She hasn't yet admitted it to herself. But she has always been devoted to you Fitz. If you asked her too, she would stand by your side through anything. Your happiness means the world to her." She went over and squeezed his hand as a show of support and said, "I'll call you later," as she exited the room.

XXXXXX

She had already ignored several of his messages. She hadn't returned his calls and Olivia knew she was being rude. She didn't know what was wrong with her but she was not enthused about speaking to him. He was a great guy, she enjoyed the time she spent with him but when she thought about going on a date with him, she didn't feel any excitement at all. And she knew that was the ultimate purpose of his calls – to get her to go out with him. She sighed. Maybe she should just go on one date with him. It was the polite thing to do. He was earnestly pursuing her and it would be mean to just ignore him. She would have to see him at one time or another and it could make for an awkward situation if she treated him so harshly.

She took a break from the work on her desk and dialed his number back. He immediately picked up the phone, "Livvy, I was beginning to think you fell off the face of the planet. Or was it that you were just ignoring me?"

"Captain Ballard, I apologize, I was not trying to be rude. I have just been very busy."

"I can tell; I saw the newspaper. Nice picture of you and Fitz," he said teasingly.

"Yeah I'm sure that's not going over well with Mellie. It wasn't planned. And there was nothing to the picture – Fitz and I are just friends."

He got silent for a moment and she wondered what he was thinking. He then spoke up, "Well I told you that I do not give up and I meant it. I would very much like to take you out to dinner tonight. What time can I pick you up?"

She laughed at his persistence. She was flattered by it. "Well Captain Ballard, as it happens I am available and I accept you offer for dinner. You can pick me up at 7PM. I will text you my address."

"That's great. I will see you tonight Livvy."

"I will see you tonight Captain Ballard."

"It will be Jake this evening," he said laughing. She laughed too and hung up the phone.

After she hung up the phone she looked back at the picture of her and Fitz. She hoped Fitz wasn't receiving too much of a backlash from the picture. It was an innocent picture of them together. They were just friends. But she could see how someone might think there was more to it, especially Mellie. Olivia thought it might be good if she apologized to Mellie the next time she saw her but then considered that if she did, it would appear that she was placing too much importance on the picture. Mellie should feel secure in her relationship with Fitz and if she did not, that wasn't Olivia's fault. And there was nothing Olivia could do to fix that for her.

She kept worrying about Fitz and decided to text him.

_Message: Hope you're not catching heat from the photo – Livvy_

_Message: If I am so what. It's a great pic; caught my best side, YOU – Fitz_

Olivia laughed at his antics.

_Message: U are too much – Livvy_

_Message: Have u had lunch? – Fitz_

_Message: No but probably not good to be seen in public with you right now – Livvy_

_Message: Coward_

_Message: HAHA. Supposed to go out on date w Jake tonight, a lil nervous – Livvy_

Olivia waited several minutes but Fitz did not respond. She thought he may have gotten busy and put her phone down. She went back to work. About 15 minutes later her phone rang, it was Fitz.

"Hey, how are you?" she said.

"I'm fine, sorry about not responding," he didn't sound fine. He sounded upset about something.

"What's going on? You don't sound fine," she was worried that things were worse for him than he let on.

"Nothing I just had two bad voice mail messages – Gerry and Mellie. I think they timed their messages so that I would get them back to back," he sighed.

"I'm sorry Fitz. I didn't even notice there was a camera man around when we were dancing. But the picture was innocent enough. It didn't mean anything."

"Well according to Mellie's message it wasn't innocent at all. In her words, I was looking at you as if I adored you and there had to be something going on between us."

"I was afraid she might think that. What are you going to do?"

"Nothing. Right now I don't really care what she or Gerry thinks," he said defiantly.

"Fitz, you can't just ignore them. You need to explain to them that we are just friends. Don't make it more than what it is," she said.

He went silent for several minutes. "So you have a date with Jake tonight. I figured he wouldn't give up pursuing you."

"Yeah he is very persistent. I was kind of feeling bad for ignoring his calls. I don't know what's the matter with me – he's a good-looking nice guy – I should be more excited about going out with him," she said honestly.

When he was silent, she tried to start joking to get him in a better mood. She laughed and said, "Maybe you just ruined me for any man. You got me afraid every man will break my heart. See what you did!" she said pretending to be wounded by him.

He didn't laugh. She frowned at his silence. "Ok Fitz, tell me what the hell is wrong with you? Something is going on, so tell me, so we can fix it."

"Nothing Livvy, I have to go. I'll see you later." He hung up the phone. She kept thinking about the conversation long after he hung up. Something was going on and he was not talking to her about it. That bothered her. She didn't like him being like this; whatever it was she was going to find it out.

XXXXXX

"_You and I shouldn't meet like this. It's not safe for you to come to my room. If someone saw you or found out….."_

"_Relax. I made sure that the house was empty. So how do you want to do this? I don't think we should wait any longer. Things are moving too quickly."_

"_I know. I know. I'm ready. We have to do what we said we would."_

"_Yes but you are aware that there are no guarantees that everything will play out as we want. I'm still not certain that I agree with your endgame. But I'm more certain that what's going on now has got to stop."_

"_Then on that we are at least agreed. I will send you a message when I have arranged everything. Don't worry it will be soon. It has to be."_

XXXXXX

Fitz welcomed Jake and invited him to sit down. "Jake, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you but it's been pretty busy at the capital. I did some digging into the information you gave me and came up with nothing…..And you're sure there are no other details you can provide to me?" he said eyeing Jake carefully.

"What I know, you know. The email came a year after Teddy's death and from his personal email address. We traced the email and confirmed that it came from him or from someone trying to be him. The IP address was spoofed from a proxy server. So while we believe it came from some computer in Sacramento there is no way to confirm it. It was made to appear that it originated from another country."

Fitz watched him intently analyzing everything he was saying and was certain that there was a whole lot he was not saying.

"And what do you suppose this message means?" Fitz asked.

"I don't know, it's pretty cryptic 'The Phoenix has arisen'. I have no idea what that could possibly mean. Initially we thought to ignore it but since it was coming from an email address of your deceased brother we thought there may be more to it. I was hoping somewhere in Teddy's files or paperwork there could be some indication. Have you searched those?"

He had but there was no way he was going to tell Jake what he found. He didn't trust him. Jake made it seem that his visit was harmless; just checking up on the Grant family was how he put it. But he revealed the ultimate purpose of his visit when he gave Fitz the email message and asked for information on it's source. Fitz knew Jake was using him to reveal some information about his family. Information that he couldn't be sure how Jake would then use.

"Yes I have, but nothing."

Jake sighed. "We've been trying to investigate it on our own for years now but no success. There is nothing in the intelligence community to indicate what this means or what it leads to. My last resort was to come here to see if you knew anything. I'm sorry I bothered you with it. Maybe it means nothing."

"Maybe nothing," Fitz said finally. Both men eyed each other trying to assess whether either was telling the truth and could be trusted. Fitz changed the subject, "So how was your date with Livvy the other night?" Fitz knew he had no right to pry but he couldn't help himself; he had to know.

"It was good, not great but hopefully by our next date it will be much better. It was clear that she was distracted by something or someone. But I don't know for sure; she wouldn't say. I asked her for a another date but she wouldn't commit," he said. He paused a moment before continuing, "You two seem pretty close. You know her pretty well. Is there something about her that you feel I should know? I'm trying to pursue a relationship with her but I sense hesitancy on her part. I'm just trying to figure out what's holding her back. Any ideas?"

Fitz smirked. He was inwardly elated that the date did not progress intimately.

"If you mean, is she on the rebound, I don't think so. Livvy is honest and knows what she wants. If she's hesitant it's probably because she is just being cautious with your relationship," he said simply.

"Well you're probably right. We'll see. I look forward to seeing her at the New Year's Eve party…I should be going. You'll let me know if you find anything else out about the message."

"Yes, of course," Fitz said.

After Jake left, Fitz opened his laptop and began typing. He sent a simple email:

"_Your patience has been paid off, Ciao"_

He encrypted the message so that any unauthorized attempts made to read would be tracked.

XXXXXX

Olivia was proud of herself. She felt like she was finally progressing, moving forward in her personal life. Her relationship with Fitz was on the mend and she finally went out on a date with someone since Stephen. She had fun with Jake; there was no immediate connection or sparks but she was happy that she accepted his invitation if for no other reason than to get back into the feel of dating. She struggled in the beginning, trying to feel comfortable and learning the proper way to be on a date. But then she reasoned that there was more than likely no proper way and she didn't want to overthink everything. She wanted to relax and simply enjoy his company. But she was distracted. After her phone call with Fitz, she kept worrying about him. She had not seen him since the trip to Los Angeles and she wondered how he was fairing especially in light of the newspaper article. She wanted to take a trip to the mansion and go see him but she was kept busy with the work at her mother's law firm and there just didn't seem to be enough time. Besides, she was confident that if Fitz needed her, he would have let her know.

She felt bad that Jake detected her inattentiveness. She tried to explain it away as due to her heavy work load, but she could tell that he did not believe her. He wanted another date with her and she did not commit; she just wasn't excited enough to give a definite yes answer. So she told him she would think about it. And at the end of the night, when he moved in for a kiss, she only gave him her cheek. She wasn't trying to harshly dismiss him but she didn't want to send him the wrong signals either.

As she dressed for the New Year's Eve party, she felt excited that she would be seeing Fitz again. She was anxious to talk to him and see what was going on. He wouldn't be able to pretend that all was well. By looking at his face, she would be able to immediately tell whether something was wrong and she would corner him until he told her. As she put the final touches on her makeup, her cell phone lit up with a text message:

_What are you wearing tonight – Fitz_

_Clothing__ - Livvy_

_I hoped you would or maybe not__ - Fitz _

_LOL – Livvy_

_I get the 1__st__ dance – Fitz_

_Mmmmm don't think so, would b inappropriate – Livvy_

_Lets b inappropriate – Fitz_

_HaHa, we'll see. Gotta go. Tryin to finish getting ready. C U Soon – Livvy_

When Olivia arrived at the party, she immediately sought out Fitz but could not find him among the partygoers. She searched through various accessible rooms in the mansion and finally heard the yelling. She kept hidden outside the door so that she would not be noticed.

"You were a jerk to Trish and her new boyfriend! How could you act that way? You might as well have announced to the group that you and Trish were screw buddies. It was horrible and as usual I have to clean up the mess."

"I didn't ask you to clean up anything. I don't need you for anything", Fitz spouted back.

"Listen, honey," she said in her infamous condescending tone. "You need me for a whole hell of a lot more than you think. You don't think so. Talk to your father, he'll school you on what my name brings to this family. So don't think you can just treat me any type of way and I'll stand for it, because I won't. I know the political capital my family has. You just better wise up and appreciate what we have, dear." Mellie was breathing heavily like she was a dragon breathing fire.

"And while we are on the subject, I will remind you AGAIN that you need to watch yourself around Olivia. We don't want a repeat of the newspaper picture. So I suggest you keep yourself far away from her," she huffed and then her tone changed to sweetness. "Now don't spend too long in here sulking. Remember we have guests, our friends, who want to see us together." She kissed him on the cheek and left the room. She hadn't seen Olivia standing in the shadows.

After she was sure that Mellie was gone, she walked into the room as Fitz looked up to notice her. He immediately smiled, "How much of that did you hear?" Fitz asked.

"Enough to be amazed at her multiple personalities. It was very interesting; I wonder where she learned to do that. It would be a cool circus act," Olivia said smiling back at him.

Fitz laughed. "Ladies and gentlemen, Millicent the Great." They both laughed at his comment.

"So you are supposed to stay away from me. I guess I shouldn't be here with you now then right?" she asked still smiling.

"Don't you dare leave; not because of Mellie."

"So what's up with you? Last time we talked you didn't sound so good; it worried me," she said soberly.

He tilted his head in confusion and then realized what she was speaking of. "Oh yeah. Well as it turns out I was worried about something that didn't really happen anyway. It didn't play out the way I was concerned that it would," he said staring at her.

She frowned in confusion but he quickly changed the subject, "You look beautiful, Livvy. I think I say to you every single time I see you, don't I?"

"Yes, it's crazy because I get embarrassed and excited by it at the same time," she said honestly and he laughed at her candidness.

After his outburst of laughter, she asked "What are you going to do Fitz? You're obviously not happy. So what is this all for?"

"I'll figure it out, don't worry," he said with a note of finality to his voice. He didn't want to discuss Mellie anymore. "So Jake is looking forward to seeing you tonight. He really wants you to go out with him again. He was trying to see if you were in a serious relationship with someone and whether he had a chance with you. Are you going to start dating him?"

"I'm not sure. He's nice, handsome and charming but I didn't feel an instant connection. Is that weird? Maybe I'm over thinking things again. I need to be patient and allow the relationship to develop."

"You don't think he's too old for you?"

"No, I don't. Your problem is you still think of me as that 14 year old girl who took walks around the grounds with you. I'm not that little girl any longer."

He shrugged and asked, "You would really consider being in a relationship with Jake?" Fitz knew he couldn't tell her yet of his concerns about Jake. But if for one moment he felt like she was in danger of falling for Jake, he would speak up no matter what.

"I cannot say right now. I don't him well enough," she paused thoughtfully and continued, "Whatever happens I refuse to settle. I don't believe you should be in a relationship you're not willing for fight for. The love should be so strong that you are desperate to be with each other; not anxiously waiting to be apart," she said staring at him, hoping he got her meaning.

"Sounds poetic….", Fitz sounded as if he was humoring her.

"You don't believe it's possible? Well that explains a lot then. It may be a foreign concept in your world but people fall deeply in love all the time. And when that type of love consumes you, when it's all you can think about, what you take your next breath for – that's intense. That is beautiful", she saw him smirking and addressed it, "Laugh if you want but that's the type of love I will have and I'm patient enough to wait for it." He said nothing just looked at her.

She continued, "People like you make it seem like others are foolish for believing in this type of love but in reality you want it too. I know you do. I can see it in your eyes. I see the misery you feel when Mellie is around. And I know you want to be in love, real love with someone who truly loves you back. So laugh if you like but at the end of the day you want to feel the love of a woman who eats, breathes and sleeps only you. A feeling I doubt you have ever had."

He was amazed. _Where did this woman come from?_ His little Livvy had been replaced by this wonderful, exciting, sexy woman. All her could do was stare at her. The fire in her brown orbs was maddening. There was such passion and he wanted it for himself. To feel the power of her desire on him would be everything. His mind drifted, wondering what it would be like to kiss her, hold her and… "We better get back to the party", was all he said and escorted her out of the room.

XXXXXX

Fitz was bad company, as Mellie told him. He was drinking too much and snapping at everyone. She decided to leave him alone and mingle with the other guests. She wouldn't have him spoil her evening. Fitz wasn't drunk; he just wasn't in a mood to entertain anyone much less smile at Mellie. He was relieved that she finally stopped the nagging and walked away. It was true, though, that he was in a foul mood; he had been that way once he realized that Olivia had taken Mellie's threats seriously. Ever since he and Olivia joined the party he had tried to stay by her side but she was having none of it. She was trying to keep away from him in public, as Mellie had warned. It was as if she was running from him. He would make his way to her only to see her smoothly retreating to the other side of the room. He repeatedly tried to get to her and she kept escaping him. She knew it wasn't making him happy; initially her teasing eyes said "Stop it" and then her apologetic eyes said "I'm sorry". After several tries he gave up, realizing that eventually he would draw undue attention to both of them.

He went to the bar and stayed there when he saw Olivia give the first dance – and most thereafter to Jake. He hated this. It had to end. He was not going to stand there and watch Olivia become increasingly attracted to Jake. It hadn't happened yet but with Jake's charm it wouldn't be long before Olivia was falling head over heels for him. He had to stop it before it was too late. He looked around the room and located Denise. He left his drink at the bar and quickly went to talk to her.

XXXXXX

"So you know it is a bad sign not to kiss someone on New Year's," Jake said.

"I've heard that too. Do you have any suggestions for me? I don't want any bad luck", Olivia countered.

"Well, that's a great question. You don't want to just kiss anyone here," he said as he pretended to look around the room for a potential candidate. "And I really don't see anyone who measures up to being worthy of your kiss."

"Whoa, Jake, that was a great line. You're charming, before long you might even convince me to go out with you on a second date. But some people think you are too old for me."

"Livvy, we are already on our third date. By the 4th date, there will definitely be some intense kissing. As for the age thing, that's crazy. Please don't tell me Olivia Pope lets other people dictate who she should and should not date. We are two consenting adults who enjoy each other's company is all that is important. Have I told you how gorgeous you look tonight?"

She threw her head back and laughed loudly. She did enjoy being in his company. He was honest, thoughtful, playful and very attractive. She was seriously considering taking him up on his offer.

"Thank you Jake. I will call you to set up that date soon."

"You do that."

Everyone in the audience started the countdown. And when it was the New Year, Jake turned to Olivia and said, "I've decided not to wait. I'm going to kiss you now so that whatever happens this year you will remember that I was with you at this moment."

Before Olivia could say anything, he pulled her close. He kissed her gently at first but when she opened her mouth to him he deepened the kiss. Olivia moaned at the thrill of kissing him in the open. No one was paying attention to them, they were caught up in their own merriment, but it was still exciting. She pulled back to catch her breath. She smiled at him.

"Great job Jake; you have sufficiently turned my thoughts only to you."

He laughed and hugged her to him.

It was 2AM before the party started winding down. Denise found Olivia and told her that she was needed in the library. Olivia frowned at the request but before she could ask more questions, her mother took off. She wondered what was so important that needed to be discussed as such a late hour. She said her goodbyes to Jake and said she would call him soon.

Before she left for the library, she did a brief scan of the remaining partygoers in the room. She thought it was strange that none of the Grants, nor her mother were in the room. Mellie was still there speaking to a group of people but she seemed to be saying her goodbyes as well. Olivia walked into the library and found that everyone she was looking for was already present in the room. Fitz was sitting on the couch next to her mother. She had not seen Mrs. Grant all night and asked her about her health.

She responded, "I'm fine dear, I've just come down for this meeting."

Olivia wondered what was so important to drag Mrs. Grant from her room after 2AM.

"So what's going on?" Olivia asked the room.

Just then Mellie was being led into the room by one of the staff. "Oh how exciting to be summoned to be a part of your family meeting. I'm so happy to have been included," she said gleefully as she sat next to Fitz, who looked irritated by her presence.

Denise began, "I have asked you all here because I received this package at my office yesterday. I didn't open it immediately because it had no sender printed on the envelope. I opened it today and since what is inside concerns all of us here, I thought it best that you all see what was in it." She handed the package to Fitz first.

He opened it and found a stack of photos. He went through each picture and as he did, he became more and more angry. When he finished he stared at Mellie and threw the pictures on the table. They fanned out and Olivia sat up to look at them. She gasped at what she saw and looked over at her mother for an explanation.

"What are they pictures of?" Mellie asked.

"They are pictures of you! Look at them, look at them!" Fitz shouted in his anger. Mellie looked at them and put her hand to her mouth. Her eyes began to water. She looked back at Fitz with fearful eyes. His anger compounded her fear.

"As you can see, these are pictures of the accident. They clearly show that Teddy was not the driver. Mellie was. Mellie was the drunk driver, which I'm sorry to say would make her responsible for Teddy's death. Now if these pictures get released to law enforcement, Mellie could be prosecuted for Teddy's death and possibly go to jail. The case would be re-opened which could lead to intense media scrutiny of the Governor's household. So I need to know how the family wants to handle this", Denise said calmly.

"You bitch! You killed my brother and you let us all believe that he was at fault; that he was the drunk driver. All this time you've been lying to me!" Fitz said as he jumped up and crossed the room unable to stand being next to her any longer.

As if by an afterthought, Fitz seemed to realize that his father had said nothing. He then realized that Mellie was looking to his father, her teary eyes begging him for guidance. "Gerry, why don't you help her out? You did help her father cover the whole thing up right? You forced the police to stop the investigation. You stopped them from proving Teddy was innocent. And for what? For her ass! Who cares what happens to Mellie when your son, your firstborn, was being blamed for something he didn't do!...You never cease to amaze me. You are an asshole through and through."

Gerry said nothing; he just looked at the chaos erupting around him. He looked from his wife to Denise and frowned. _What's really going on here_, he thought.

It was eerily quiet except for Mellie's sniffles and cries. Olivia's head was swimming; she was trying to process everything that was happening. She looked around the room at everyone and the only person she truly felt sorry for was Fitz. He was fuming; trying to control his temper but his rage was bubbling beneath the surface. He was standing there staring at his father and she believed that if allowed Fitz would literally murder his father. "I've got to get out of here." He stormed out of the library and out of the house into the night.

The room remained silent until Mellie stood up, composed herself and said, "Goodnight everyone." She left the room and left the house. Olivia could hear the wheels of her car skidding down the driveway.

"Denise, thank you for bringing this information to the family. I'm sure you and my husband will find the best way to handle this situation. I'm tired. Goodnight everyone." She wheeled herself out of the room and the nurse appeared to help her to her room.

"Denise, I need you to find out who sent these photos. As you can imagine, this information being released would devastate my family. I need to know who the anonymous sender is", Gerry said. He stared at her as if he wanted to say more but thought better of it, especially with Olivia in the room. He left the room.

"How long have you known?" Olivia asked her mother when they were alone.

Denise turned to her with raised eyes. She watched her face for a while, and then exhaled loudly. Olivia was too perceptive. "I found out soon after the accident. I had my reasons for holding on to the information and I have my reasons for allowing it to be released now. That is all I can tell you, I'm sorry baby. I know you are not used to me keeping secrets from you. But on this I have to."

"Fitz is hurting; he's hurting bad from this."

"I know but it had to be done. If there was another way, I would have found it but there was none. He's more than likely drinking himself into oblivion in the pool house. Go to him, help him through this Livvy. We are staying here tonight; it's too late to drive home. I brought us a change of clothes. I'll have the staff make up a guest room for you", Denise stood up to leave and continued, "I know you don't understand Livvy and I know you have so many questions and in time I hope to give you the answers you need. Goodnight sweetheart, I love you." She kissed Livvy on top of the head and left the room.

Olivia sat in the room for several minutes debating on whether she should go to Fitz or let him drink himself into a stupor. She didn't know if she could really handle a drunken Fitz. She didn't know who she would encounter – someone in pain, sorrow or anger. All of the emotions scared her because she didn't know what she could do to help him. There was never really any question about it; she would always do what she could to help Fitz.

When she made it to the pool house, she almost turned around thinking that he was not there. But then she saw a small light barely visible and she went inside. He was sitting with a bottle of scotch in his hand. "Fitz", she said in a whisper. He looked at her and said "Go away Livvy; for real this time. I'm seriously not good company for you right now."

"I will if you come with me back to the house and go to bed." She was afraid to leave him alone here.

"Livvy I'm not going to the house tonight I'm staying here. I just need to be alone. Can you just leave me alone?" He said, not in anger, but in desperation. He didn't want her to see him like this.

She stood there for long minutes trying to decide what to do. "I'm scared to leave you here Fitz. I know you're hurting and I'm afraid for you to be alone. If you are angry be angry, if you need to throw something do it but please stop drinking," she pleaded.

He looked at her. He then held up the bottle for her to take. She walked up took the bottle from him and put it back on the shelf across the room.

"Aren't you tired of this? Tired of always helping me, trying to make me feel better. You should be sick of it by now."

"There is really no other choice for me," she said as she took the seat next to him. "It seems I can't be happy unless you are happy. It's a strange feeling to have your happiness tied up in another person. It's like you're giving them control over your life. I don't yet know if I trust you enough to do that but I know that there is a connection is between us that's stronger than I thought."

When he didn't say anything, she asked, "Tell me how you are feeling? I wanna know."

"I'm so damn sick of all this. I want out! I don't care what happens. I don't care who gets hurt or who gets affected, I'm done!"

"Okay, I get it. You're hurt and angry. You're tired of being used. But no decision should be made out of raw emotions. You need to think clearly before deciding what to do."

He looked at her as if she was literally out of her mind. "Don't handle me Livvy. Don't patronize me. If you're my friend, then be my friend – not my fixer."

She thought carefully about his words and she was disconnecting, he was right. She was not sympathizing with him, like a friend should. She took his hand in hers and continued, "As your friend, I am worried that you are not considering the full weight of your decision. It is obvious to me, and I know it is to you, that your father wants this marriage to Mellie for a much more important reason than just replacing Teddy. He proved that tonight. He covered up Mellie's involvement in your brother's death for a reason and it's certainly not a simple reason. It must be serious. So if you derail his plans you have to know that consequences may come from such a choice."

Of course he had understood all of this but he was slightly surprised that Olivia understood it also. He needed to stop underestimating Olivia's intelligence and awareness of things going on around her.

He said nothing for several minutes. "Livvy, I'm prepared to take the risk. I was serious when I said I'm ready to stop pretending. The question is can you support me through this? Can you stand by my side?"

She looked in his steel grey eyes. They were piercing through her as he waited for her response. She had the feeling that he was not just asking as a friend but something much more; something more serious but she didn't dare herself to ask. She felt slight fear of what his intentions truly were; could she handle it? Could she support him in anything he needed to do? She could question herself relentlessly but in the end there was no choice for her; she truly would do anything for him. He was everything to her. As if it was a foregone conclusion, she maintained his eye contact and whispered, "Yes".

He visibly relaxed at her confirmation. Did he really think she would say no? The silence set in and they realized how much they could communicate with each other without speaking a word.

"Can you stay?...You were right, I don't really want to be alone and I don't want to go back to the house right now. I may not have the right to ask and I know I'm being selfish given our history but….but can you stay with me?"

When she nodded in agreement, he took her hand and led her to the bed. There was no hesitation. It may have been foolish but she trusted him with everything – her life, her heart, her soul. She knew he would never take advantage of what she felt for him. He lied down fully clothed and guided her to lie down beside him. When they were comfortable with her back against his chest, he released a heavy sigh. She could feel his steady heartbeat against her back and it matched her own rhythm. Their breathing calmed to a soothing pace. The fit was perfect; it was almost as if this was how it was always supposed to be. He tightened his grip on her waist to let her know how much he wanted her to be there. She laid her hand across his arm to let him know that she understood.

Fitz knew what he was doing was inappropriate but he needed connect with someone tonight; he needed to feel Olivia in his arms. He felt like everything in his life was crumbling around him and Olivia was the one person who would always be there for him to support and love him. She was perfect and he needed her more than ever. He went to Denise earlier in the evening and told her that he was ready to do what needed to be done. He couldn't let Olivia go, it was not possible. She simply nodded and said she would take care of it. He didn't know if the new revelations about Teddy's death had anything to do with it but he strongly believed it did. But that brought up a whole host of other questions that he didn't want to entertain tonight. His mind was tired of racing and pushing to connect the dots. He just wanted to lie down and feel like the world was simple, easy and good. For one night, he didn't want to deal with the complications and challenges of his life. He wanted to pretend that the only two people that mattered in the world were he and Olivia.

Olivia's feelings were overwhelming her. As she lay in Fitz' arms, she admitted to herself how intense her feeling for him had become. She had only been in his presence for a couple of weeks and already he had begun to consume her. She was falling in love with him all over again. If she were honest, she would admit that she never stopped being in love with him. But she was concerned that maybe this was just a new level to their friendship and nothing more. She couldn't handle it if their relationship was damaged again. And she wouldn't damage it by forcing him into a situation with her that he did not want or was not prepared for. Her emotions were everywhere and she wanted a release; she bit her lip to prevent herself from crying out. She carefully hid her face as silent tears began to fall. In the minutes before they fell asleep, there was unspoken communication of their feelings for each other; words that they had not yet built the courage to speak aloud.


	14. Silent Revelry

**(Hello all, first and foremost thank you for your patience. I got caught up in Scandal on Thursday and have not really recovered from it. It broke all of my concentration. Anyway, I apologize but I will aim to post at least twice a week going forward. As always, please leave any and all feedback – it all helps. Thanks for reading.)**

**Silent Revelry**

Cyrus Beene sat alone in his white-walled bare office to listen to the recording he received today. He hoped it would reveal some concrete information because another election would be held in the country next year and if they couldn't act quickly one of 'theirs' would be occupying the office of President of the United States again. He was working hard to prevent that from happening.

He pressed play and heard the recognizable voice of Jake Ballard.

"_Sir, I don't have any other information for you. Fitz claims to have no knowledge of Teddy's work or activities."_

There was silence and Cyrus waited to hear the other voice respond. He finally heard Governor Grant clear his throat.

"_And you believe him?"_

"_I don't. But it is obvious that someone else is helping, supporting him."_

Gerry grunted. _"And what about your endeavors with Olivia, how is that coming? Are you succeeding on that front?"_

Cyrus could hear Jake shifting in his chair. He was not comfortable citing his failures. _"Um No. I have not given up but her attachment to Fitz appears to be very strong."_

"_Jake, they sent you to me to aid in shutting down whatever work my son was doing to expose our activities. If you cannot do the job I will let them know so that you can be replaced."_

"_I believe more time is needed."_

"_That is something we do not have. It will be close to time to elect another President and we cannot afford to risk someone finding out about the organization's influence. So again I ask if you think you can do this job successfully because failure is not an option."_

"_Perhaps if I can speak to the others…"_

Gerry interrupted. _"You and I both know that is not possible. You speak to me and through me. So if you have nothing else to report, I suggest you leave because it appears that you have much work left to do."_

Cyrus heard a door close and knew Jake had left. He shut off the recording. He would have to watch Jake much more closely. He would also have to make sure Nattie understood that Fitz needed more protection because Jake's desperation for results could make him careless. Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III was their golden boy, nothing could happen to him.

Cyrus had worked for Nattie Grant for many years. His role in her life had taken on many different forms, essentially whatever she required, he fulfilled. He had known her since college and trusted her more than any other person on earth. She was his closest friend and confidant, never anything more than that, never anything untoward. She took care of him as he took care of her. She made sure that he felt respected and appreciated, especially considering the life he sacrificed for her. He didn't regret any of it; he was content living to please Nattie and above all protect her. He knew she greatly valued the service he provided to her but most importantly to her family. The trouble was, none of her family knew he existed.

He lived in the shadows. He never formally met her husband or her children but he knew them all intimately. He knew their faults, mistakes and activities (both legal and illegal). Cyrus had no personal life, no family; his family was the Grants. He had come to love Teddy, Fitz and Nattie in his own way although none, other than Nattie reciprocated his affection. He celebrated their successes and was saddened by their failures. He too was devastated when Teddy had died. Theodore Grant was groomed to be the perfect leader of this country. Although Teddy was never aware of it, Cyrus supported his political efforts wholeheartedly. As Nattie asked, he made sure that the appropriate political circles accepted Teddy, supported his ideas and promoted his ambitions. Despite never having had a conversation with Teddy, he liked him. He thought he was a good person at heart. And those kind of people, without someone like Cyrus working in the background on their behalf, almost always got eaten up by the shark infested political waters.

By appearance, he was an unassuming man, easily able to blend into a crowd. Nothing about his appearance inspired fear. The fear came when people realized the extent he would go to accomplish his task. He was a true patriot, intelligent, a genius really but a political monster all the same. With as much loyalty he showed Nattie and her family, he could equally destroy their enemies with the same fervor. He had offered Nattie several times to have the Governor eliminated, in an accidental fashion of course, but Nattie kept refusing. She would not sanction the assassination of her children's father, no matter how much she hated him. So he settled for lending his skills and abilities to helping her control the Governor.

Cyrus hadn't paid too close attention to Fitzgerald. He was the younger son, not too relevant to the overall plans for the family. He seemed to be a good kid albeit a little too unsure of himself. He needed the confidence his brother had. But now that Teddy was gone, Fitzgerald would need to become the leader they all needed. Cyrus was a little unsure of the selection but Nattie was certain that he could be President with the right support and guidance. Nattie loved Fitz dearly and instructed Cyrus to watch over him both in Italy and at home. Cyrus did as he was instructed. And when it was decided that Fitz would fill Teddy's role in helping his country, Cyrus sent someone to Italy to brief him on what was needed. It took some convincing but Fitz finally agreed and continued to assist in gathering the information needed to help them. Fitz reluctance made Cyrus wish he had joined the Navy; then at least Fitz would be used to obeying orders without question.

**XXXXXX**

Olivia was running; she went into hiding for 2 days. When he had awoken from the night with her, the bed was empty. He went searching for Olivia but she and her mother had gone. He sent multiple voice mail and text messages but she did not respond. He spooked her. His feelings for her were too intense and he started to think that maybe she couldn't handle them. She was afraid. But didn't she think he was afraid too? To need someone as much as he needed her scared the hell out of him. What if it never worked out? What if she realized she didn't truly want to be with him? Just as she said her happiness was tied up in him, so it felt like his happiness was tied up in her. And while he trusted her to have that type of control over him; he wasn't sure she felt the same. They had only been in each other's presence for a couple of weeks but it was enough for him to know that she was everything he wanted and denied himself of. And he was through with sacrificing his happiness for the benefit of his family; the self-imposed misery had to stop.

It was a crisp, cool day. He slipped on his coat and went outside to get some fresh air and clear his head. His mother apparently had the same thought as she was sitting in her wheelchair enjoying the view of outside. Her nurse was close by. "Hello mom. Are you warm enough out here?" he asked as he bent down to kiss her cheek.

"Hello Fitz. Yes, dear, I'm warm enough thank you," she smiled at him, and then continued, "Take me for a stroll through the grounds?"

"Of course," he said as they left the nurse behind and he began pushing her wheelchair through the property.

"You are right not to trust Captain Ballard," she began after some time. "He was not a friend to Teddy as he makes it seem."

He almost stopped pushing her wheelchair when she spoke again, "No don't stop, keep walking. Your father has people watching me and I don't want anything to look out of the ordinary. Gerry is becoming distrustful of me and right now I cannot afford to give him any reason to do so."

Fitz was completely confused by the conversation but said nothing. She reached her gloved hand back and patted his, then she continued speaking, "You are confused. I know. Let me explain what I can. What you need to understand Fitz is that there is much going on that we have tried to shield you from. You were always the dreamer, the sensitive one; the one who wanted a normal life and we tried to give you some semblance of it. But when your brother died…..well it changed everything."

"When you went to Italy I wanted to give you your freedom, if only for a short time. I asked them not to involve you, not to contact you, but they felt there was no choice. They needed the information and they needed your help so they came to you. As the Governor's son you have access to information in the capital that most people cannot get to. As you know by now everything they told you in Italy about Teddy was true. What he was doing and who he was working for; what I'm guessing is that they didn't tell you about me."

She wanted to turn around and see his facial expression but she couldn't. "I know more than you think I do. I'm coming to you now because the email drew out Captain Ballard and made him come here. And you need someone on your side that you can confide in. You don't have to bear the weight of this alone; you have me and you have Livvy. Of course, Livvy is not ready to know everything right but I brought her back to you so that you could realize she is the companion you need Fitz. She is the one to stand by you through it all. It's the way it should be."

"You faked your illness," it wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"I did. I needed to get you and her together again and it seemed the best possible way. I knew both of you cared for me deeply and my supposed ill health would bring you both here at the same time. You were running from her for too long, no doubt due to the age difference, which is no longer a factor."

"It was you and Denise – the photos," Fitz was working everything out in his mind.

"Yes it was. Your father is a selfish bastard and he needed to be handled. Of course we both knew soon after the accident but it was pointless to use the information when you ran off to Italy. And when you came back you left again to Harvard, so there was still no point in using it. It was only when I realized how relentless your father was in getting you to marry Mellie and more importantly how resigned you were to follow along; that we knew we had to act soon."

She paused, weighing her words and then continued, "You do understand that as much as I want to honor your brother's memory we cannot release this information. It will defeat our purposes and bring about another situation that we cannot deal with right now."

"I do," was all Fitz said. He had resigned himself to the fact that hurting Mellie and Gerry would mean hurting himself and his mother even more.

She sighed. She felt sad for her son. She knew he didn't want any of this. But Fitz was strong enough, he had to be. "We brought it out now in an attempt to get your father to back off of the ridiculous thought of you and Mellie. But do not think this is the end of the Mellie situation. Your father will not stop until he gets what he wants from you. He is afraid that if he doesn't…well it won't be good for him. But you need to cut her off for good. You need to understand we are strong enough to deal with whatever your father throws at us. I need you to have the confidence that you can deal with this Fitz."

Fitz didn't speak for a long time. He shivered but not from the cool air. "I feel like my entire life has been orchestrated like I'm some kind of puppet. I just want normal." He suddenly longed to be back at school. At least when he was there, away from his family, he 'felt' normal. He felt like the other students going to classes, living their lives, adhering to their routine, being normal.

"Son, normal is overrated. There is no normal for us. We don't lead the type of lives for normal. You need to learn how to find happiness in a less than life. It is possible to have both, if and only if, the partner you choose understands the life and is willing to lead it with you, right by your side."

He was lost in thought again. She broke through the silence, "I think I have told you enough for today. I'm getting tired. Can you take me back to the house?"

"Sure," he said.

When they reached the house, she said, "Captain Ballard will come again and try to press you for more information. Come see me tomorrow, before you talk to him, I have something you can give him. It is a false lead but it will at least divert his attention from this household." When Fitz continued to stare at her, as if entirely amazed at who she truly was, she said, "I love you Fitz, always have, always will; that doesn't change, no matter who you think I am or am not. That will never change." When he bent down to kiss her on the cheek, she whispered in his ear, "Teddy's flash drive….keep it with you always."

XXXXXXX

Denise was ready to do battle. She had her defenses up and her armor was intact. She walked into Gerry's office at the capital right on time for their appointment. He called her office earlier in the morning and left a message with her assistant demanding her presence in his office the same day. Denise knew it was coming; she didn't for one moment think he was going to let it go. He was suspicious of her involvement in the photos, which was fine. But what she couldn't afford was him being suspicious of Nattie. Natalia Grant was always her ace in the whole and she couldn't allow her to be compromised.

"Gerry," Denise said as she entered his office to find him sitting behind the desk going over some paperwork.

"Denise, sit down," he motioned for her to sit in a chair facing his desk. She took the seat as asked.

"What have you found out about the source of the photos?" he said as he eyed her warily.

"Nothing really. I can only confirm that they are true. They were not doctored or tampered with. I've had my team trying to tack the source but it's like a needle in a haystack; impossible really."

Gerry eyed her carefully. The trouble was he could never tell when Denise was telling the truth or when she was lying. She had a fantastic poker face. It was a source of irritation that he could never completely control her; she would do as he asked and fulfill her job assignment but really she did as she pleased when she pleased. She always knew a lot more than what she led him to believe. He wanted to force her to reveal the information that he had no doubt she had but he couldn't; it would never work with her. _Damn she is so beautiful_, he thought. But shook his head, he didn't want to be distracted by her looks.

"Denise I don't believe you," he said carefully and her face never changed. "You know a whole hell of a lot more than what you are saying. But that's ok. You keep a lid on these photos; don't let them get out into the press, no matter what. I know you think this little stunt will derail my plans for Fitzgerald but it doesn't. He will marry that girl….I don't underestimate you and it would benefit you not to underestimate me."

They settled in to silence for lengthy minutes. "Is that really all you are going to say to me?" Denise said in an unemotional, strong, firm voice. "Although I'm not surprised; it is what I expected. From the first moment I learned about YOUR SON'S death, I knew in my gut that something was wrong; that you had done something wrong. I didn't want it to be true. But even now finding this out all these years later, I see that you are not sorry for anything you have done. You are never sorry for anything you have ever done to anyone," Denise gave a slight smile and shook her head. She stood up and continued, "But you are right, you shouldn't underestimate me and I don't underestimate you. I know exactly the type of man that you really are. That's why I have never regretted my decision to end things between us years ago."

They eyed each other for several minutes. Each assessing their opponent. She finally said, "Goodbye Gerry" and she excited his office.

He picked up the phone and dialed on a secure line. When he received an answer, he said, "Listen I know my son and you can control him by his heart strings. It'll take something drastic like what we talked about but convince her to do it and he'll come back, no question about it. Can you handle it?" When he received a satisfactory answer, he disconnected the phone call.

XXXXXXX

Olivia knew she was being unfair. She had basically shut the world out for 2 days. She ignored both Fitz' and Jake's calls and messages. But she needed the time alone, to think and figure out her feelings. She went to the indoor pool at the gym and pushed herself through strenuous workouts. And after feigning illness to her mother, she was finally back at work. She wanted the distraction of work to drown out the voices in her head, cautioning her, daring her and pushing her at the same time. Her cell phone rung and it was Jake.

"Hi Jake."

"You really suck at dating you know that…Although you are a master at disappearing and ignoring phone calls," he said with laughter in his voice.

"I know Jake, I'm sorry, it couldn't be helped. There is a lot going on."

"Well then it would do you good to allow me to be your distraction. Are you free for lunch?"

She thought about it and she knew she should say no. She would only be thinking about Fitz the entire time. But she did need to clear her mind of him. She had no idea what Fitz' intentions were with her and she couldn't put her life on hold waiting to see what he wanted. "Yes I am."

"Great then I will pick you up around noon. I'll see you then."

"So have you spoken to Fitz," Jake asked over lunch. The conversation began with normal civilities and updates. But it seemed to Olivia that he was eagerly anticipating an opening in the conversation where he could ask the right questions to get the information he really wanted to know. She guessed this was it.

"No I haven't. Not since the party. Why?"

"No reason. I just was worried about him. He just seems different since Teddy's death. I know it's been years but it still seems to affect him badly."

"I wouldn't know about that," Olivia said safely and added a shrug for the convincing effect.

Jake sighed to emphasize his concern. "Well I hope Mellie can really help him through whatever is going on. They seem to make the perfect couple. She cares about him a lot. She's always looking out for him. It's commendable don't you think?"

Olivia regarded him for a moment. How would Jake know so much about how Mellie felt about Fitz? She tilted her head and suddenly she felt a concern that she had not thought about before. "What are you doing here, Jake?" she asked bluntly.

He laughed. "You mean here with you. I would have thought that was obvious."

She smiled and thought, _He knows that's not what I meant but I'll play along_. "Thank you for the compliment. I meant that I never got the reason for your visit with the Governor and his family."

"Oh that. Well as I said I've known the family for years and I served briefly under Teddy. I have a position waiting for me at the Pentagon but thought I would visit with the Grants on my way to the east coast. Don't know when I will get another vacation once I start the job. I thought I told you this the first night we met."

"You may have but I must have forgotten", she gave an innocent shrug. "Funny in all my years with the family I've never heard of you or saw you visit before. You said you've been friends with the family for years, I guess we must have missed each other previously," she said with a small laugh.

"Yes I guess we did."

"So when was the last time you saw Fitz?"

"About a couple of days ago. We had a brief talk."

"Oh really, about what?" she asked as she tried not to appear overly-curious.

"Oh we just had some business to sort out. As it turns out he couldn't give me the assistance that I thought he could," he frowned as if reliving the conversation.

"I'm sorry that he could not help you. Perhaps you will find another way."

"I'm sure that I will."

Olivia now felt it; the uneasiness of his presence. She realized that she really did not know him at all. She was leery of his intentions with Fitz and with her. She continued to smile throughout the lunch to make him comfortable but after this, she would not see him again. He had another agenda for coming here now and she didn't want to be a part of it, especially because she didn't really know what that agenda was.

XXXXXX

Fitz phone was ringing again. He had lost count on how many times it had rung in the last hour but he never picked up the line. He knew the caller would just leave him another voice mail message. He wished that at least one call was from Olivia but it was not; it was always Mellie. Even when the caller ID said it was a restricted number, he knew it was Mellie. Her messages were all starting to sound the same, "Fitz, I'm so sorry, you've got to forgive me", "I got scared and called my father and he and your father decided how it should be handled", "I'm a victim in this just like you", "I never wanted to hurt Teddy or you", and on and on. Fitz never felt moved enough to call her back.

His father tried to pressure him to call her but after ignoring Gerry for a couple of days; they finally had their blowout argument. It ended with threats, cursing and slammed doors – a common feature of their discussions lately.

"Stop being naïve, son. Don't you know that this family cannot have any negative publicity aimed at it? I stopped the press from speaking of the accident, didn't I? As for the rest, you need to trust me that I know what I'm doing. I'm the head of this family and I will act in the best way I see fit to protect it and that includes you. You should be thankful for how I take care of you", Gerry had said.

"This is really what you call taking care of us….that's a joke," Fitz laughed.

"This doesn't change anything. My plans for you are the same, you will marry Mellie and all the rest well it will blow over in no time," he said in a calmer tone.

"You have got to be out of your got-damned mind if you think I'm going to marry Mellie. I'm not doing anything for anyone else anymore except myself. I don't care what problems this causes but I'm not ever going to be with Mellie. You need to understand that right now because I'm not discussing it with you anymore." Fitz stormed out of his office and slammed the door. He and his father had not spoken since. Fitz' resolve was firm - there was no way he was giving in to marry Mellie.

When he came home from work he went to see his mother. He knocked once and entered without waiting to be invited. When he came into the room he stopped short and saw a man he had never met before.

"Fitz, I want you to meet someone. This is Cyrus Beene. I know you have never met him before. Usually our meetings have been more discreet. But this time," she said pointedly to chastise Cyrus for his carelessness, "I guess it could not be helped."

"No it could not. It is nice to meet you Mr. Grant," Cyrus stated as he walked up to shake Fitz' reluctant hand. Fitz regarded the short, older man and frowned trying to understand why he was here in his mother's bedroom.

As if reading his thoughts, his mother continued, "Cy has been my personal advisor for many years. He has helped me in so many ways and he is here to help you too."

Fitz turned his attention to his mother. "Help me? How can he help me?" he said, not hiding his irritation with the situation. He was becoming tired of all this 'new' information being thrown at him at once. It only made him more concerned about what else he did not know.

Both Cyrus and Nattie just stared at Fitz in silence. Nattie spoke up, "We will get to that at another time. Thank you Cyrus for coming. I will contact you later." Nattie could tell that too much information was being thrown at Fitz and he wasn't navigating it well. He was becoming overwhelmed and irritated. She had to give it to him in very small doses.

"Yes of course. May I say sir," he said addressing Fitz, "they are right. You will make a fine President one day. And I would be happy to help you get there. Of course, on the other matter, I'm not sure if that will hinder the process."

"That is not up for negotiation, Cyrus," Nattie said firmly. "She will be with him all the way and you will see to it that they are successful." Cyrus nodded, looked Fitz up and down and left the room.

Fitz opened his mouth to speak, but Nattie cut him off, "Fitz, dear, I know you have more questions for me but I have become very tired. Can we talk later? I've left you the information to give to Captain Ballard should he call again. It's in the folder on the desk."

Fitz sighed. He looked at his mother and wondered briefly whether she used her supposed tiredness as an escape to get out of conversations she did not want to have. "Of course, I will talk to you later." He picked up the information and left the room.

XXXXXX

Perhaps he had underestimated him. Maybe he was a lot stronger than he thought. He had to be to track him down and arrange this meeting. Cyrus sat on a bench outside the California State Capitol Museum. It was 11PM so the museum was closed and due to the cold weather no one was around. Cyrus checked his watch and thought, _At 11:05, I'm leaving_. He shrugged his shoulders and thought maybe his impression of him was accurate after all.

"Cyrus," he said in greeting and sat next to him on the bench. Fitz was barely recognizable with his collar pulled up on his wool coat and fedora hat. Cyrus took a look at him and smirked, Fitz thought he was in some type of spy movie. Real life and movies were completely different – the stakes were always much higher.

"Fitzgerald, what is it you would like to talk to me about?"

"Seems a ridiculous question being that I know nothing about you and yet you seem to have all the information I need. So why don't you start from the beginning."

Cyrus paused and reflected. "It has always been interesting to me when people say 'start from the beginning' it indicates that there is a long story to tell and an open and honest relationship exists between two parties. It does not in our case. I may have all the information you need, but we do not have an open relationship. We are not BFF's and I decide how much you need to know and when to tell it. So ask your specific question and I will determine if I can answer it honestly," Cyrus spoke so rapidly that Fitz wondered how he maintained the air in his barrel chest.

Fitz sat in silence for a moment. "You know what, I'm out. Forget this cloak and dagger bullshit. I'm not a spy and I'm tired of all these little assignments that come and go – planting bugs in my father's office, copying documents and dropping them at an in descript location – it's over. I'm not continuing to do something when I don't have all the information on why I'm doing it."

Cyrus gave a brief laugh. "This isn't some sexual romp with your girl where you can just 'pull out' to prevent a pregnancy. This is a serious situation with a lot at stake. You would do well to remember that. You are not going to quit just because no one will tell you everything. You will get information but now is not the time for it."

Fitz exhaled sharply. He would have to play the game. "What is the ultimate endgame?"

"Easy, you as the President of the United States."

"And why me?"

"Why not you?...Listen you are the person who is honest, smart and loyal enough to run this country. We need a person elected by the people; a person the people can identify with and trust. A person the people can be proud to have as their leader. That hasn't happened in a long time. And it won't happen until we can do what needs to be done."

"What makes you any different from my father? He wants the same damn thing."

"The difference is that your father wants to MAKE you President for one reason: control. I am guaranteeing that you will be ELECTED as the President because you will be seen as the person who responds to the will of the people." Cyrus turned and looked at Fitz' uncertain face and answered the unspoken question, "Yes I can do that."

"Why not remove my father all together?" Fitz said calmly. Cyrus didn't look at him, he merely raised an eyebrow wondering if Fitz would have authorized the killing of his father. He shook his head; he would never go against Nattie's wishes.

"Your father is a necessary evil right now. He is being kept in place because it serves our interest. When it is time, his involvement will be minimized because we need your background to be clean or you will never be elected honestly. Arresting your father will only guarantee that you will never hold a position in government. So it is the lesser of two evils – either we save your father to save your presidency or we arrest him and run the risk of never having the person we need in office. We chose the former."

"You really believe this don't you?" Fitz laughed softly to himself. "I'm supposed to be President in what 5 to 10 years," he said in slight disbelief.

Cyrus regarded him carefully. "I'm done convincing you of something that you know to be true too. You believe it and you want it too."

Fitz ignored the comment. "And what was the other thing? What was it that you think may hinder my chances?"

"The girl," Cyrus said plainly.

Fitz knew he spoke of Olivia but did not comment on it. "I will be going back to school shortly. I trust I won't have to hear from you or any of your men while I'm there."

Cyrus gave a lengthy exhale. "No you won't. We will speak again when you finish school so that you can understand your next steps."

"So you have my whole life planned out already, don't you?" Fitz said in an accusatory tone.

Cyrus laughed again. The question did not deserve an answer. Soon Fitz would appreciate all the work he had done in his behalf.

Fitz realized that this was the end of the conversation and stood to leave. "I'll tell my mother that I spoke to you this evening."

"No need she already knows."

XXXXXX

_Are you home?_ – Livvy

_Yes_ – Fitz

_Alone?_ – Livvy

_Yes_ – Fitz

She could feel his anger through the messages. There was no playfulness, no flirting as was his usual way. His responses were short and curt. She couldn't avoid talking to him any longer. She had put him off for days, ignoring his messages and it was time she faced him.

"You really need to stop that habit," Olivia said that evening as she found Fitz alone drinking. She tried to make her tone playful to lighten the bad mood she knew he was in.

His only response was to look over his shoulder at her and turn around effectively dismissing her. She closed the door behind her for privacy.

"You don't get to just do that," he began angrily. "You don't get to ignore my messages for days and then show up as if nothing is wrong and nothing happened. What was that, punishment to me for ignoring you all those years? Thanks for the lesson."

Olivia felt bad. It wasn't her intention to punish him for anything. She just needed time to herself. She realized how wrong it was not to at least send him a brief message to let him know she was alright.

He continued in his tirade, "You said you had forgiven me but I guess that was not true. Of all the times, when I needed you Livvy, you not only leave but you don't even send me a message to let me know you are alright….Have been with Jake?" He winced at the jealousy in his voice.

"Ok let's talk but I need to know how long you have been drinking."

"Olivia, I am not drunk! I need you to stop thinking every time you see me with a drink in my hand that I am automatically drunk. You have seen me drunk one time….one time and it was after my brother's death. So please, stop doing that!"

He never called her Olivia. _He must be very angry_, she thought. She stepped closer to him but was careful not to get too close. She couldn't yet tell the depth of his feelings. "You're right I shouldn't assume. I only hope that we can have a decent conversation."

He snorted and still would not look at her.

She decided to start with something unrelated to the problem at hand. "Fitz, what is Jake really doing here?"

The question startled him. He did not expect Olivia to ask about Jake's true intentions. He shrugged. "You tell me. All I know is that he's been chasing you from the moment he saw you," he was sounding ugly but the words were coming out of his mouth faster than he could control them.

She ignored the spite in his voice. "You are trying to make me angry and I'm refusing to allow you to do it. One of us has to remain calm. Now can you please answer my question?"

"How the hell should I know!? He's not my friend, he was Teddy's friend, although I doubt he was even that," he said the last part in a muffled voice and he hoped she didn't hear him because he knew that was the part she would latch on to.

He was right. "Oh so he wasn't really a friend of the family like he said. That's interesting. So he does have another purpose for coming here. Do you know what it is? Does your mother? I don't trust him Fitz and I think something else is going on."

"Olivia! Stop it! I don't want to talk about Jake," in truth he knew that the more her mind worked on the problem the more tenacious she would become in trying to solve it.

"You brought him up! I didn't!" she was starting to get worked up and realized that this conversation was going nowhere and she hadn't done what she came here for – to apologize to him.

She started again, "I'm sorry Fitz. I was not trying to punish you. I just needed some time to clear the air." She could tell from the look on his face that he didn't believe what she said. He got up and poured himself another drink. She walked over and put her hand on top of his to stay his action.

"I don't want to play games with you Livvy. I'm done with that – either you care about me or you don't."

She looked at his bloodshot eyes and told him in a shaky voice, "I'm scared Fitz."

He softened. "Livvy, I'm scared too. This isn't easy for me. I'm still battling with what I feel about you. You said you wanted us to be friends, able to talk to one another. But we can't if you run away. We agreed we would start over."

"But what if I can't…what if I can't keep you in the friend's zone. What if…..." she couldn't finish the statement. The fear of being with him and being without him was choking her.

"What if we both want more?" he finished. He placed both his hands on her face and studied her for what felt to Olivia like an eternity. She wondered what he saw when he looked at her. Olivia could barely breathe under his intense gaze. She pushed him away and walked to the other side of the room.

She took a deep breath and unleashed, "You don't understand what it was like for me. When you left, when you walked away and then started ignoring me, it hurt me so bad. I felt like I had lost the one person I loved more than anything and on top of that I lost my best friend. Yeah I was young but Fitz my feelings for you were real and I could barely handle them and I didn't have anyone, not one person that I could talk to about it. And you, you just cut me off. You left me hanging out there; you didn't care about me at all. It seemed so easy for you to just let it all go. Well I was stuck, I couldn't move forward. I was a child dealing with adult feelings. I can't feel that kind of pain again…I just can't."

"You think all of this is easy for me! For three years I kept running trying to find the right person, trying to love somebody and I couldn't. I punished myself for falling for a child. Livvy you were a child! What the hell was I supposed to do! I couldn't be here with you. I couldn't keep talking to you and sending messages to you. I had to let it go. There was no other choice. And now I'm here and I see you again and I'm having all these intense feelings because you're an adult woman and I want to be with you. I want all of you. And that scares the hell out of me! I don't want to need you as much as I do. Because what if you decide you don't want me, then what am I left with, nothing!"

They were both out of breath from the all the emotions spilling out and the release of everything they had been holding on to. Now they just stared at each other – unsure of what to do or say next, daring the other to make a move.

"I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be with someone who loves me. I deserve you!...Are you falling in love with me?" he asked.

She looked down to the floor. He walked up and forced her to look at him. He asked again, "Are you falling in love with me?"

She could lie and walk away from him. It would be easier. She wouldn't run the risk of losing her heart again. She wouldn't have to watch him come to the realization that she didn't have anything to offer in the relationship but her love and there was no guarantee that it would be enough. But she needed to try. She told the truth, "Yes, yes I am."

"Good because I'm already in love with you."

She didn't have time to respond. He was already on her. He was caressing her face, staring at her – through her. He brushed his fingers across her lips, not once but twice. It was like he wanted to collect a memory of her. To Fitz, the feel of Olivia's skin sent his senses into overload. She was so soft, so beautiful. He wanted to remember this moment always, remember how she looked at him with her round eyes – so open and so giving, how she felt under his touch and how she would taste. She had put her arms around his waist, effectively giving him permission to start them down a journey where friendship evolved into passion.

He bent his head and brushed his lips against hers. He kissed her gently. They both kept their eyes slightly open, intensifying their emotions by watching the others desire. He snaked his tongue out and glided it across her bottom lip and then her upper lip. He kissed her again and used his tongue to demand entry into her mouth; Olivia complied. She moaned from the feelings of kissing him and he melded her body to him. She wanted to be closer, much closer as if she could disappear inside of him. She opened her mouth wider to accept him; she could taste the scotch on him and it made her high. She was clutching his shirt now, never wanting to let him go. A fire was starting within her, an intense desire for him that would not be quenched with a kiss; there needed to be more.

They were hungry for each other. It didn't matter that they could not catch their breath. They felt like they would gladly suffocate if only to continue consuming each other. So many years of pent up frustration was finally being released. Olivia moved her hands to his hair and she pushed him closer to her, he could never be too close. She stroked his hair and he thought it was the best feeling; her petite, slight hands massaging his hair. She alternated between stroking his back and sending her nails through his shirt grazing his back. She wanted to mark her territory.

Fitz didn't want it to end. He brought his hands down to the curve of her bottom and pulled her close to him. He wanted her to feel how much he wanted her, only her. She instinctively started to move against his arousal and he moaned into her mouth. She was breaking all of his self-control but damn he wanted her bad. He would school himself to go slow with her, savoring every moment. But it was hard; her passion was so intense that he felt like he could bury himself within her right then.

He moved down the side of her neck – biting and kissing; sending sensations through her body that made her cling to him more intensely for fear she would crumble. She missed kissing his lips and forced his head back to meet hers. She was the aggressor this time; she held nothing back. She kissed him forcefully, barely allowing him the chance to keep up. There was so much inside her that she wanted to release for him, only for him. It had always been for him.

At the most inopportune time, Fitz phone began to ring. At first neither paid attention; they were lost in their own world. But as it continued to ring, Olivia broke way and breathlessly smiled at him, "I think you better get that, it could be important."

He smiled back while silently cursing the interruption. He reluctantly let Olivia go and reached for his phone. He took a step away and answered, "Hello."

Olivia watched his smile turn into irritation, then worry and then sadness. He was looking directly at Olivia while he continued to talk on the phone, "I understand. Where is she now?...Okay I will be there as soon as possible." He hung up the phone and did not speak; he just continued to look at Olivia. He knew what he said next was going to change everything. He wished he didn't have to say it. He wished he could launch another assault on Olivia's swollen lips. She had tasted so sweet and he wanted to taste again. He wanted to block out everything else and just be with her. But he couldn't, not now at least.

Olivia worriedly asked, "What is it? What's wrong?" Somehow she knew whatever he was about to say would be like an eraser on the moment they both shared.

"It's Mellie. Last night she….she miscarried my child. I have to go to her. I'm sorry Livvy."

"Of course….of course you do. You should leave now. Go to her Fitz," she said and almost choked. She didn't want to let him go. She didn't want to send him to Mellie. She was so close to claiming him as her own and now it was over. But she would never be so selfish to discourage him from helping Mellie through a situation like this.

He kissed her on the cheek, thanked her for understanding and left the house.

It was Olivia's turn to feel irritation, worry and then sadness – profound sadness. One call, one conversation was all it took to dowse cold water on the passion she had within her for him. The harsh reality hit her at once. She realized that she could never really have Fitz. He could never really be hers. There would always be Mellie. Fitz would always feel some sort of obligation to her; like he owed her something. He would try to forgive her the accident and she would once again be a prominent fixture in his life. She would be the one to help him do what he thought to be impossible. She could give him what Olivia could not – a guarantee that his all his goals and dreams would be a reality. She felt the force of the cruelty of it all to grant her a taste of a life she wanted more than anything else and snatch it away before she could secure it, claim it and possess it as her own.


	15. Throw Your Burdens Down

**Throw Your Burdens Down**

"Mellie sweetheart, you were born with the First Lady Title on your forehead. Its' yours; it belongs to you. It all comes down to what you will do to get it," Joseph Andrews said to his daughter. After the photos of the accident came out, Joseph and Gerry felt compelled to speak to Mellie about her relationship with Fitz. She couldn't back out of the arrangement now.

Joseph Andrews was a big, burly man who could have possibly been attractive in younger years but now his features were more intimidating than inviting. He had a big booming voice that often made people think he was angry but he was just animated. He often spoke rapidly with a Southern accent. But he was intelligent and extremely wealthy so he would always command the respect of the men around him. He loved his daughter. When his wife died, he promised to cherish Mellie and make her want for nothing. Unfortunately, spoiling his daughter only made her personality unlikable. He groomed her to understand her value and how important she was to the family, his business deals and their future. Her desire to please him made her willing to follow his instructions and trust that he always had her best interest at heart.

"I know and I want it. I deserve it but he does not want me; he does not love me. Don't you two understand!" she was getting tired of chasing Fitzgerald Grant III. She had her self-esteem after all and she was worth more than this.

"Mellie, I have told you time and again that marriage is not about love; it's about convenience and mutual understanding for the benefit of both parties. Love is a fantasy. It's not real."

Mellie sighed. She was becoming emotional and she knew her father hated that. He had drilled this into her for as long as she could remember. He made sure she understood that the weakness in women were their emotions. When they let feelings rule them, they would always be taken advantage of by others. She could never allow others to control her; she had to be the one in control.

"I know, but _**he**_ believes it's real. I don't think he can ever forgive me for Teddy's accident. You are hoping for too much. He's done pretending."

"Sweetheart, everything in life is about pretending. People pretend all the time – they pretend to like someone they don't, to love someone they hate, to be happy with their spouses when they really are not."

"I know…and everyone who thinks it's not pretend is living in a fantasy," she could recite her father's speech since she had heard it so many times.

"So can you do it? Can you do what needs to be done? Because I am certain he would be right back by your side once he finds out," Gerry said.

Could she give up her child for this? She really did not like children but she supposed that the father should have been given an opportunity to know about his child before she got rid of it. She found out about 2 weeks ago that she was pregnant. She informed her father immediately of course and told him the truth about the child's father. He expressed his disappointment but asked if she had at least taken the precaution of ensuring the child could pass for Fitz'. When she affirmed that she had, he was relieved. He suggested that she use it to get Fitz to propose to her. But she wasn't given a chance to tell him prior to the New Year's party. And now there was little chance that she could tell the child's true father. They were right, if she delayed too long, Fitz would be lost to her. She had to act now. In the end she agreed with their plan, just as they knew she would.

XXXXXX

"I need someone from your team to look into something for me," Olivia said to her mother as she walked into her office. It was an unusual request which caused Denise to quickly turn around in her office chair and with a puzzled look.

"What is it?"

"I'm sure you've heard about Mellie by now," she started and when her mother nodded she didn't feel the need to elaborate. She then continued, "Well it's all too convenient don't you think? Frankly I don't believe her. I wouldn't put it past her to stage something like this just to hold on to Fitz. So I need someone to look into it and confirm whether or not it's true."

After leaving Fitz, Olivia went home and cried. She was angry and hurt. She was angry at Fitz for sleeping with Mellie; angry at Mellie for not using birth control. She wanted to curse them both out. And then she was angry at herself for getting wrapped up in their drama and being the only one left hurt by it all. So when Fitz was texting her, she could barely bring herself to respond so she kept her responses brief. When she had enough of the 'pity-party', she got control of her emotions so she could think rationally. She felt something was wrong. She reasoned that if Mellie, her father and the Governor were able to cover up the truth behind Teddy's accident then they certainly were the kind of people to fake a pregnancy and miscarriage. She knew in her gut that this baby – real or imaginary – was not Fitz'.

Olivia was aware that her mother had a team of people, who were not on the official company payroll, but operated in secret. Her mother had a wealth of information at her disposal and the only way something like that could be accomplished is with the assistance of highly-specialized, trained people.

Denise just stared at Olivia struggling with what to reveal and what not to. In some ways, Olivia seemed able to accept and understand everything but at times there seemed to be an innocence about her that made Denise want to protect her from all the secrets and lies.

"When are you going to be ready to tell me everything?" Olivia stated in slight frustration. And when her mother frowned and tilted her head, Olivia sighed. She sat down in the chair in front of her mother's desk. "I know you struggle with what to tell me and what not to. I know there are secrets being kept from me and that's fine but in this, when Fitz is involved, it won't do. I need to know everything. I already know Jake Ballard is here for a suspicious reason, I know you and possibly Mrs. Grant had a hand in releasing the accident photos and I am certain that Mellie is staging this miscarriage. So since I've figured all that out by myself, I think I deserve to know the rest of it."

Denise smiled and picked up her phone. "Yes, I need you to have Quinn come in and bring me the file," she nodded and put down her phone. She then turned to Olivia and said, "You know Quinn as a researcher in the office but she is more to me. She does other jobs that are not exactly assigned by the company. She and her partner help me in a variety of ways."

Olivia had remembered Quinn from around the office. She was a pretty, cheery girl who always brought in donuts and coffee for everyone. Olivia didn't interact with her much as they never shared assignments but the girl was nice and she liked her.

In a few moments, Quinn walked in the office and brought the file in. "Good Morning, I just got this from him. He worked pretty fast on it but you said you needed it urgently so I hope it helps." She stood there waiting for Denise to respond and smiled at Olivia who was watching her from the chair.

Denise scanned the documents and addressed Quinn. "As usual you both have done a great job. My daughter had the same concern about this matter as I did. In fact she came in this morning asking me to get you working on it. Thankfully I had already asked you and now she can get some answers. Can you please brief her on what you and your partner found?"

"Of course, well as you suspected there is another guy. His name is Jeffrey Sanders. She has apparently been dating him for several years, although she has broken up with him on numerous occasions. He is the son of a partner in her father's business. He actually looks a lot like Fitzgerald, the Governor's son. Her emails and phone messages were not secured. So he hacked them easily. From what we can gather, she appears to be in love with Jeffrey. She was pregnant but the timing of it indicates that the baby belonged to Jeffrey. According to our information she has not slept with the Governor's son since early October. But she got pregnant sometime around November, which would make her about 2 months. We don't have an exact date of conception but I expect you don't need that information," she said still smiling at both Olivia and Denise. Olivia figured that she was pretty proud of the fact that she had pleased her mother.

Quinn continued, "Well she was planning on aborting the baby. Her father has a doctor on his payroll that was willing to do it privately. So apparently she turned the planned abortion into an unexpected miscarriage. We got to the medical files before they were destroyed. But Denise, I think more attention needs to be paid to Jeffrey and if you authorize it, we will dig further. There may be some information there that we can use at a later date."

"Yes, Quinn I would appreciate if you would do that for me. I don't have to remind you to be careful on this one, Mellie's father is a very dangerous man and if he found out about our investigation it would go bad for all of us."

"Oh yes of course. Oh and by the way would you like to discuss the Jake Ballard situation? We believe we can fix that also," Quinn cheerfully offered.

Denise looked at Olivia and considered that it would be too much to discuss that at this time. "Mmmm no, I'll let you know about that one. I'll schedule something with you both."

Quinn smiled brightly and said, "Ok great, well you both have a wonderful day." She then left the office.

Olivia now turned to her mother. "Thank you….I want to be included in this going forward. I'm not a child anymore and I want to know what's going on. I'm tired of being kept in the dark about everything."

"I know Livvy, you are old enough to know but I still think of you as my baby and I'm trying to protect you from all these people. But you are right; you need to know who your enemies are so that you can deal with them accordingly. Mellie is your enemy. She knows how Fitz feels about you and that is a threat to her. She will do anything to keep him tied to her and as you've seen that includes having an abortion and making it seem like she lost Fitz' baby."

Olivia wondered what type of woman would do that to hold on to a man. But she reminded herself that there was more to this situation than Mellie trying to be Fitz' wife. And she thought it was about time her mother told her what that was.

"You know that I have many more questions and now is as good of time as any to talk," Olivia said confidently and Denise leaned back in her chair figuring that this would be a longer conversation than she thought.

XXXXXX

Fitz was having trouble focusing on the meeting. His father would repeat his question twice before Fitz was able to respond intelligently. He was happy that the meeting had only a few people in it and it was kept brief. He was distracted; he hadn't spoken to Olivia since the day prior and the text message he sent her last night did not leave him with an easy feeling. It was clear that she wasn't happy and he was afraid that just when he seemed to get her, she could bolt and he would lose her.

_Hi, I'm home. Mellie is okay – Fitz_

_Good for her – Livvy_

_Are you angry? – Fitz_

_Why should I be? – Livvy_

_Is it a good time to talk? – Fitz_

_No, maybe tomorrow – Livvy_

_Lunch tomorrow? – Fitz_

He had watched his phone for what seemed like an eternity, waiting for her to respond. She finally sent a message.

_Ok – Livvy_

_Great, I'll pick u up at noon – Fitz_

She didn't respond any further. Then this morning, she sent him another message:

_Can't do lunch; got a meeting with my mom; I'll call you later - Livvy_

He wanted to throw his phone against the wall. He was so frustrated. His worry for Olivia intensified. He wanted to go to her and force her to talk to him but he knew that wouldn't work. Olivia would talk when she was ready. He started thinking that maybe she didn't want to see him. Maybe she thought he ran back to Mellie, which was stupid. Sure he felt obligated to help her get through the loss of their child but that was all it was. He couldn't forgive her for Teddy although it was clear when he went to the hospital that she wanted them to resume their relationship as if nothing ever happened.

"Fitz, I'm so sorry I loss our baby. Can you imagine how beautiful the baby would have been? A miniature version of either me or you," she said from her hospital bed. Her father had left them alone in the room when Fitz arrived.

"I'm sorry too Mellie, but you don't even like babies," he said plainly.

She frowned at him. Her voice became sterner. "Of course not Fitzgerald, nobody likes babies, but I recognize their value; they are important to any political family. I'm sure once we are married we will try again."

"Mellie I'm here to express my sadness over our loss but please, please do not mistake my visit as an attempt to get our relationship back again. You know how much Teddy meant to me and to find out that you were the drunk driver. You were the one whose recklessness caused his death…How can I forget that?"

She softened and touched his hand. "Fitz, I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to deceive you; it was my father and your father. They conspired together to cover it up. I'm as much of a victim in this as you are. I was used by them just like you. Don't you see that?"

"I see you coming to Italy trying to console me over the death of my brother knowing that you caused it. I see you manipulating me and trying to control me at every turn. That's not love Mellie. That doesn't make a relationship, much less a marriage. We can't be together. I don't want to be with you. I'm sorry."

She stared at him speechless, not quite sure what else to say. He stood up from the chair, squeezed her hand and kissed the top of her head. "Goodbye Mellie, if you need anything be sure to have your father call mine and I'm sure something can be arranged."

She called him repeatedly after that, leaving numerous messages but he never returned them. To him, there was nothing left to say.

Now, he was growing anxious to see Olivia; to talk to her. The meeting was over and everyone was filing out of the room. He was left alone with Gerry. He went to gather his paperwork so that he could leave as well. Gerry turned on the large screen TV to CNN and the news was reporting:

_The Governor of Illinois is suspected to enter the GOP race for the White House next year. Sources say that he is the favorite of the party. Of course his views on immigration and health care are more liberal than most conservatives but he may be able to get the party a footing among the Hispanic voters….._

Gerry muted the television and turned to Fitz. "What do you think of him Fitzgerald?"

"From what I know of him, he appears to be the best candidate for the party. There is a strong disconnect between the party and the minority voters. He seems to be the answer to that problem. The party needs him because right now it's un-relatable to the common man."

Gerry eyed Fitz for several minutes. He then laughed in mockery, "Common man….Common man! This is the reason why things such as electing the leader of the free world are much too important to be left to the common man. They'd screw it up every time. The selection has to be made for them; they lack the intelligence to choose for themselves."

Fitz wondered how much more information his father would reveal to him, "What are you talking about?"

Gerry gave Fitz a sideways look. "Nothing, never mind. Have you been to see Mellie? How is she doing? I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your child?"

"Thank you but you and I do not have the kind of relationship where we discuss my private life. We only have a business relationship, that's it. So I'm not discussing that with you."

Gerry exhaled sharply. "Fitzgerald, I understand believe me I do. Livvy is a beautiful girl. I know you want her son but you have to know that she does not fit into your political future. If you want her that bad then fuck her, get her out of your system or hell make her your mistress. But don't be stupid enough to think that she can be more than that."

Fitz walked upon his father, looked him in the eye and said menacingly, "You want to stop talking right now Gerry."

"I'm trying to help you understand that I know the attraction of the Pope women. I've been through it too but I knew there was only one place Denise could have in my life…in my bed. And apparently, Livvy could make a place in yours too."

Fitz was seething with anger. He swung and hit his father. Gerry stumbled back almost landing on the floor but balancing himself against a chair. His lip was bleeding and Gerry put his hand up to assess the damage. He smiled as he watched Fitz try to get control of himself.

"I warned you; do not ever speak about my personal life. Again." Fitz walked out of the room and slammed the door causing the room to vibrate.

Gerry watched him go. He kept smiling. He knew his son. Fitzgerald may not have wanted to hear what he said but he had heard it. He could not discount it and it would remain on his mind for at least a period of time.

XXXXXX

Olivia needed to take a walk for some fresh air. The discussion she had with her mother was a bit overwhelming and she needed time to process it. No one – not Mrs. Grant, the Governor or her mother – were who she thought they were. She had naively put them into these childish one-dimensional roles not realizing that people are generally very complex with many layers to them. Some people's layers were predominantly evil and others were not. She wondered how much information Fitz had, especially about Mellie. Her mother warned her that Mellie, her Father and the Governor could not be made aware of the information they had. It was always best to keep information like this close to your chest and wait for the perfect opportunity to use it.

She thought Fitz may be going stir-crazy thinking she abandoned him again when she cancelled their lunch date. She picked up her phone to call him but received an incoming call from an unknown number at the same time.

"Hello," Olivia said.

"Hi Olivia, it's Mellie," she said with tears in her voice.

"Mellie, what's wrong are you ok?"

"Olivia, I'm really not. I know you've heard about the miscarriage. I'm in the hospital now. Do you mind, if you're not too busy coming here for a visit. I'd like to talk to you," she said desperately.

"Of course Mellie," Olivia couldn't pass up an opportunity to find out what she wanted. She loved having the upper hand. It genuinely felt good to have information on people that they did not know you had. It made it so much easier to see through the lies and bullshit. "Tell me where you are and I can be there shortly."

Olivia made sure to pick up a fresh arrangement of flowers for Mellie on her way to the hospital. When she got off the elevator she saw a large, tall man standing in front of her door talking on a cell phone. When he noticed her, he ended his call and turned to address her.

"You must be Olivia Pope. My name is Joseph Andrews. I'm Mellie's dad," he said smiling but his eyes were menacing.

Olivia shook his hand, smiled sweetly and said, "Hello Mr. Andrews it's very nice to meet you. I've come to see how Mellie is getting along."

"Oh my poor little darling. It's tragic to have this happen to her. She was so looking forward to having children with Fitz, she loves him so much. I feel bad for her. But she is strong. Once she recovers from this she will be as healthy as a mule ox," he said laughing. Olivia gave him a sideways glance because she could tell he used his Southern accent, which deliberately faded in and out, in order to make himself appear unassuming, gentle and likable. She was sure that he was none of those things.

"I'm sure she will be as good as new in no time," Olivia said as she tried to move past him to the room.

"Olivia," he stopped her. "I have to say I'm a bit concerned. Mel has been telling me that Fitz has a bit of cold feet about their relationship and she was worried that you may know why. I only ask because I figure you would want to help in any way to bring these too lovers back together. You know when Fitz came last evening, I would swear that he was near tears at the pain of losing a child. It was touching to see him holding my Mellie and them crying together, consoling each other and trying to get through the pain. I'm sure Fitz can't wait to get Mellie home so that she can get some relaxation."

Olivia didn't believe a word he said. When he talked, he had slight twitch in his upper cheek that was telling. To her it indicated that he was holding back a true emotion or withholding the truth. She guessed it was both. She fought the urge to frown in disgust. She touched his arm to show concern, "Mr. Andrews I'm certain that if Fitz and Mellie are meant to be then nothing can stop it from happening," she kept smiling although now he frowned as if he realized he couldn't rattle her with his lies. She patted his arm and went in to see Mellie.

Olivia smiled as she entered the room and greeted Mellie. She couldn't bring herself to hug her so she just patted her hand. "Mellie, I'm so glad to see you are looking well."

"Olivia thanks so much for coming. I am doing better thanks to my father and of course Fitz. But I didn't ask you here to talk about me. I wanted to talk to you about Fitz."

"Oh what about him?" Olivia said as she busied herself arranging the flowers in the empty vase.

"I care about him and I know you do too but lately he's been…well I'm really worried about him. He's different. He seems angrier, distant, and despondent and I can't seem to reach him."

"I'm very sorry to hear that Mellie, maybe it's this recent news about Teddy. It was a real shock to all of us," Olivia said and she noticed Mellie made a hand gesture as if that was of no consequence.

"Oh no it's not that, we talked about it and he understands that was a decision made by our fathers. I had nothing to do with it. I was only doing what I was told," she said to emphasize her innocence. She watched Olivia intently and said, "I know that Fitz cares about you. I had thought that maybe he really liked you but I don't know….Listen Olivia, I will be honest with you. Fitz and I have a complicated relationship. We will marry one day but in the meantime, I recognize he has some things he needs to work out of his system. And its better he gets it done now before we are married. I've encouraged him to pursue other….distractions…..but nothing has helped."

She hoped Olivia would understand her meaning but her facial expression gave her no inclination that she did. She continued, "Here's what I think. I think Fitz is infatuated with you. And I think his current condition is due to his feelings for you and his inability to connect with you on some level. I think he needs to be with you for a period of time. And perhaps he will get over whatever it is he is going through. So if you would consider meeting up with him that would more than likely help," she said calmly.

Olivia was silent for several minutes then gave Mellie the most intriguing smile. "Just so that I'm clear, your proposition is for me to sleep with Fitz so that whatever it is he is working through can be taken care of - kind of like an itch needing to be scratched…..And how long do you think this would take?" Olivia was humoring her.

"Well, I don't know. I mean Fitz is an attractive man; it shouldn't be that bad for you and I know you care for him too so it could be enjoyable. I'm hoping that he would end it before we got married but if not, then I understand. Extramarital affairs are not uncommon."

"So you are offering for me to eventually become his mistress," Olivia said calmly never changing her smile.

"Olivia, please understand, my intention is not to offend you. I have the utmost respect for you. I just understand how men and relationships work. I don't for one moment believe that Fitz' truly loves me, he may very well love you, I don't know. Our marriage will be a business arrangement but I still want to make sure I fulfill my duty of making him happy and if that means having you then I will arrange that too."

"Mellie, I have to say that I am genuinely astounded by this conversation. I would have never guessed you and I would be having this discussion. Does Fitz know that you are talking to me about this?"

"No of course not. And I don't see the point of telling him. You and I can work together to handle things and he does not need to know about it." Mellie was so proud of herself. She was inwardly applauding for making the decision to call Olivia. She wasn't certain Olivia would accept her offer but she was now confident that she would.

Olivia paused for effect and then said, "Well let me say that while I am sure that you are acting for what you perceive to be Fitz' best interest. I don't believe that it is. Furthermore, I am pretty sure that you want to use me as a conduit to controlling Fitz and that will not happen. To be honest, I find this entire conversation insulting and offensive. For you to think I would voluntarily allow myself to be used in such away indicates that you do not know me and you do not know Fitz."

"Olivia, I don't see what the big deal is. I mean your mother did the same thing with the Governor. She was his mistress for years and she continued to be respected among his family and other circles. I just thought you would be willing to help Fitz and I out, but I guess I overestimated your concern for his well-being."

Olivia was going through turmoil inside; she felt like someone just punched her in the stomach. She couldn't believe what Mellie just said about her mother. It couldn't be true, could it? And how did Mellie know and why was she the person to tell her and not anyone else? She would not reveal to Mellie that she had no knowledge of the affair. She kept her game face on. But she suddenly felt the need to get out of the room as soon as possible.

"Well Mellie, what my mother did has no bearing on my decisions. I do care about Fitz and I want him to be happy but I don't believe this is the way. I'm sure you and Fitz will find another way to work through your problems. Now if you will excuse me, I need to get back to the office."

Mellie regarded her through squinted eyes. She then sighed and brought the smile back. "Of course Olivia, I apologize for offending you. I hope that you will at least think more about what I have said. If you change your mind, I'm sure you know how to contact me." Mellie said. Olivia left the room. Mellie's father had already left the hallway, which made Olivia thankful that she did not have to see him. Dealing with these people practically made her feel dirty.

She didn't go back to work; she couldn't face her mother. If the affair was true, then this was a fact that her mother neglected to tell her when they talked in her office earlier. She needed a drink. She made it home, went to the bar, and opened a bottle of wine. She drank it straight from the bottle. She was experiencing a range of emotions and she couldn't calm herself. She kept taking gulps from the bottle. She wanted to throw something; she wanted to cry and scream but none of it would help. She picked up her phone and sent a message. She would need to him to come here because someone had to give her some honest answers.

XXXXXX

She was pacing in circles, just like her mother. She only paced in circles when there was a problem and he was guessing that it had to be big to make her ask him to come here. He noticed a half bottle of wine when he came in. Her eyes were glazed over too, like she had been drinking. He had been at her house for 5 minutes and she hadn't said anything beyond "Hello". She immediately began pacing and hadn't stopped since. He figured he had to let her work out whatever was on her mind so that she could talk about it. So he sat on the couch and watched her pace. Frankly he could have just watched her for hours. After not seeing her and worrying about her, he realized how starved he was for just her presence. He got excited when he received her message asking him to come over. He didn't care the reason; he just wanted to be with her.

"Did you know?" Olivia finally stopped pacing, turned and said to him.

He smiled, "Know what? Livvy you haven't said anything to me since I came in. I think you're carrying on a conversation in your head but I'm not a part of it."

Olivia sighed and realized that she now had to repeat out loud everything she said in her head. "Fitz, I think my mother had an affair with your father – when or how long ago I do not know. But if it's true, it's more than likely the reason my parents divorced and why my father cannot stand to talk about the Grant family. Do you know if it's true? Did you know about it?" she asked desperately.

Fitz hated to have to be the one to discuss this with her. He had hoped that either she would never learn about it or Denise would be the one to tell her. "Livvy, please sit down," he patted the seat next to him but she chose to sit on the far end of the couch.

"How long have you known?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"I've known for some time now. I found out years ago right before it stopped. Actually I think I was the one who made your mother cut it off. I walked in on them one evening. And as usual, my temper flared; you know how I feel about my mother. I was so angry at both of them for taking advantage of her. I couldn't believe they could do that to her. Your mother came to me later, after I had calmed down. She came to me and apologized. She made a promise to me; she promised me that she would stop the affair and never do anything like that to hurt me or my family again. I grew to respect your mother because I knew she was in love with my father, yet she sacrificed her happiness and cut it off. She came to me and apologized while my father never said a word. He didn't care that I knew or how I felt."

He saw Olivia frowning, hanging on his every word and trying to understand all that he was saying.

"I never asked, I never asked the reason for my parents divorce. I just accepted it and didn't question why. But now knowing this, I….I can't process it. I can't believe it. Not my mother, not her. She wouldn't do that. She is too strong for that. I look up to her, I know her. She's my mom Fitz and now I don't think I know who she is at all. She has this separate life full of secrets," Olivia said as she started crying.

He moved closer to her on the couch and took her hand. "You may be angry with her right now Livvy but think about it. Sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with. She loved my father, risked her marriage, her family but got nothing out of it. She lives with the regret now and she deals with it. She hasn't slipped; she hasn't broken her promise. She works with my father all the time yet she has had the strength to keep their relationship professional. You have to admire her for that."

"I just wish you would have told me."

He knew that was the part that really got to her. "I know. But it wasn't mines to tell. This secret belongs to your mother. No one else in my family even knows. All these years I haven't said a word. As hard as it is to hear, if she wanted you to know Livvy she would have told you."

She looked at him, "You're not the only one who knows. Mellie knew too. And she spoke as if other people know about it as well. Everyone except me apparently."

"What! How does Mellie know? When did you talk to her?"

"Mellie called me asking me to come visit her, it was a shock to me; I didn't know what to think of it. But it turns out she had a proposition for me. She wanted me to sleep with you for a time, maybe not forever but at least long enough to get you through whatever it is you are going through. Oh but the last part was if you felt you still needed me after your marriage to her then I had her permission to be your mistress," Olivia said in disgust.

Fitz sat staring at her in amazement. He could not believe the words she just said. He shouldn't have been surprised but he was. Mellie would do anything to control him. He got up this time and began pacing. He stopped looked at her, ran his hand through his hair and paced again. Sometimes Mellie's antics baffled him. How did she ever think he could just forget what she had done? There were moments when he would look at her and swear that he would give anything to trade her life for his brother's.

"You do know that I did not and would not ever send Mellie to talk to you about anything, much less my sex-life. You do understand that don't you?" Fitz asked desperately wanting her to believe him.

She gave him a half-smile. "Yes I do know that Fitz," she paused and reflected before continuing, "But since we are on the topic of mistresses, I can't help but see the glaring similarity between our situation and our parents. I mean you and your father, I don't know…" her speech was starting to slur. She chuckled humorlessly and continued, "Do you both have a fetish for black women or something? Do you both want your white wives by your side for public display and then hide the black women you claim to love in the shadows? What is it you want from me? Would you be so selfish as to condemn me to the same life as my mother, to make me your mistress? Is that the life you want for me?"

"Livvy, don't do this. Don't objectify what we have or could have as some secretive affair. It's not. You will never be my secret. I am open in my feelings for you. I am not with Mellie; I am not dating her at all. She may be deluded enough to think I will marry her but I'm not. I don't love her, I could never love her. Can you please try to understand that?"

"I'm trying Fitz, I really am. I want to trust what you say."

She was still eyeing him suspiciously. He though to allay her fears and said, "In case you were wondering I hadn't slept with Mellie for months when I saw you over the holidays. I almost wondered whether the child she carried was mine but there was no way to prove it and it did no good to dwell on it so I let it go."

"It isn't or it wasn't," Olivia exhaled and got off the couch. She took another gulp from the wine bottle.

"What, how do you know that?"

She smiled at him. "I know because we investigated her and found out all about it," her speech was slurring and Fitz thought she was delusional and drunk.

"Livvy put down the wine bottle and tell me what you are talking about", he walked up and took the bottle from her hand.

She swayed a bit but held her ground. She was a clearly a light-weight that couldn't hold her liquor. "She has a boyfriend, Jeffrey something and he got her pregnant. She was about to get rid of the baby anyway but instead made it seem like she miscarried so that she could trap you."

"Livvy are you for real or are you making this up?" He was thinking about what she said and wondering how she could know all of this. When he wasn't paying attention, she took another gulp from the wine bottle.

"Mistresses, lies, secrets, murder…another day in the life right?" she said sarcastically. She was swaying again.

"Ok you need to get in the bed, which way is your room," he said as he picked her up to carry her to bed. She nestled her head in the crook of his neck and said, "mmm you smell good". He asked her again which way was her room. She tried to lift her arm several times to show him which one but it was too heavy and she couldn't lift it. She could barely lift her head. He found the room on his own.

He put her on the bed and began to remove her clothing. "You know I've had dreams like this, where you take off all my clothes and we end up in bed together. In my dreams, you are really good in bed. Are you in real life?" she said smiling at up at him.

He laughed at her; he couldn't help it. She probably wouldn't remember anything she said to him once she slept the liquor off.

"What do you think Livvy?" he said after he removed her shoes and was taking off her skirt.

"I think you must be phenomenal. I saw you once," she said and snickered behind her hand.

"What? What did you see Livvy," he said although he wasn't really paying attention. He figured she was just making things up now.

"I saw you with Trish in the pool house at your graduation party. I was being nosy and want to see what sex was like so I followed you. I turned away when Trish tried to give you a blow job though," she said matter-of-factly.

He stopped unbuttoning her blouse when he heard that. He just stared down at her. "You're mad at me," she said and poked her lip out in pout.

"I'm not mad, you're just a little pervert is all," he laughed again and she laughed to. He lifted her up gently so that he could remove the entire blouse then laid her back down. She was in her bra and panties and he let them remain on. He helped her get under the covers. She was so incredibly beautiful, he thought.

"Would you ever want to have sex with me?" she asked once she was settled under the covers.

"Yes, I would but you would have to sober up first," he said as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Ok good to know, I just needed to make sure." She then turned over on her side away from him and snuggled more under her covers.

He went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water for the bedside table. He had a thought and suddenly needed her to wake up to listen to him. He came back in the room and gently nudged her, "Livvy, Livvy are you sleep yet?"

"Almost," she said in a groggy voice.

"I want you to come away with me Livvy, just for weekend. I need to get out of here for a while; get away from everything. Can you come with me to Santa Barbara this weekend? Livvy, can you hear me? Say you'll come."

"mmm, I'll come. Go anywhere with you," she muttered and moments later there was light snoring.

Fitz was smiling to himself; drunk or not he would hold her to her commitment. He was excited to take her to his family's home in Santa Barbara. He could use a break from everyone before they had to go back to school. He could use the time alone with Olivia.

He put away the wine bottle so that it would not be so obvious to Denise when she came home that her daughter had been drinking. As he walked to the door to lock up and let himself out he gave a little chuckle, his Livvy was a little perv who had whet dreams about him. _This is gonna be fun_, he thought. He could definitely use that to his advantage.


	16. Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

**Fumbling Towards Ecstasy**

As expected, Olivia woke the next morning with a splitting headache. She opened her eyes to the bright sun, groaned and closed them tightly again. She pulled the covers over her head hoping a shroud of darkness would ease the throbbing in her head. When her mother came to check on her she was barely able to communicate her condition. Denise brought her some medication and some toast to eat so that something was on her stomach. Olivia told her that if she felt better she would come to work after lunch. Fitz called her to check on how she was feeling but also to remind her of the promise to go to Santa Barbara on the weekend. She vaguely remembered the conversation but he insisted that she promised to go and he would not take no for an answer. She conceded because she too wanted a vacation but also as she told him in a croaked voice, "I'm saying yes because I need to get you off the phone so I can rest." He laughed as he hung up the phone.

Although she wasn't 100%, she eventually made it to work by later that afternoon. She avoided her mother as much as possible. Every time she looked at her she was reminded of the affair. She didn't want the past to taint her idea of her mother but how could it not? She had just found out that the person she practically worshipped and patterned her life after was not who she thought her to be. She committed adultery and broke up their family for the love of a married man. Olivia considered that her life may have been completely different had her mother been faithful to her marriage vows – but there was good and bad to that idea because had she not done it, Olivia may have never met Fitz.

There was no way Olivia could avoid talking to her mother about it. This was too big, too disturbing to let it go and just forget it. She couldn't put off talking to her mother about it either because the longer she delayed the more her thoughts and feelings tortured her.

"You have been giving funny looks all day Livvy, what's the matter?" Denise said over dinner.

"I know. I have been trying to figure out the best way to talk to you about something," she said as her mother stopped eating and gave undivided attention. Olivia put down her eating utensil and said, "I know about the affair."

Denise stared at her. Her face became saddened; she never wanted Olivia to find out about it. "Did Fitz tell you?"

"No, not initially. Mellie called and asked me to visit her in the hospital. She told me. I didn't believe her at first. But when I talked to Fitz he confirmed it. He said although he knew, he never told anyone. I don't know how Mellie knew but she said it as if other people were aware of it also. Everyone except me…..It's the reason for the divorce, right?"

Tears started to fill Denise's eyes; she could tell that from this moment on, her daughter would view her very differently. On some level she knew she lost a measure of Olivia's respect. "I'm sorry Livvy. I never meant for you to find out about it. I thought it would be better if I never said anything, but its true dirty little secrets always come out. I feel horrible about dividing our family but the divorce was because your father and I couldn't be together any longer. We separated first and then the affair started. We divorced shortly after…I know that my actions may change how you see me or who you think I am but I did fall in love with the Governor once and we were together for a time. I broke it off years ago and I have never gone back. I know it was wrong. I hurt our family and I hurt Fitz and Nattie."

Olivia remained silent as her mother began to wipe the tears streaming down her face. It was agonizing to see her mother like this; she knew how much she hated to cry. To Olivia, her mother was always larger than life but now she seemed so small and vulnerable. She was, after all, human but Olivia had made her to be a giant. It was tugging at her heart and before long Olivia was crying too.

She continued, "I have punished myself continuously for what happened. It was the biggest mistake; the biggest regret of my life. I have worked to gain the forgiveness of Nattie, Fitz and your father. And I will work to gain yours as well Livvy. I know what I did and I know how it changed your life. This is all on me; it has nothing to do with Gerry. It was me and I accept the responsibility for what I've done."

Olivia finally spoke, "I should be mad at you…..When I heard it from Mellie of all people it was like someone knocked the wind out of me. I couldn't believe that you would be that person; that you would allow yourself to be put in that position. I always thought you were stronger than that. I will not lie and say that knowing this has not changed me and changed my opinion of you but I do not hate you. I am not angry. I'm just sad. When you love someone, you have to accept their faults too. What you did still bothers me but I'm trying not to hold it against you forever."

"I know it will take some time for you to forgive me and I'm really sorry that you are in this position. I love you and I never wanted to disappoint you."

"How do you think Mellie found out?"

"I can only guess that she found out from her father who found out from the Gerry. Mellie's father has information on Gerry that keeps him in his back pocket so to speak," she paused because this was another revelation that she was going to give to Olivia. But Olivia said she wanted to know everything so it was time she told her more.

Denise continued, "Technically Gerry is not the Governor of California. On both occasions when he was elected, he should have lost but he didn't. And the reason he didn't is because he had the elections rigged. He defrauded the people of California by illegally making himself the winner when he should have lost. Of course if this information was ever released, Gerry would go to prison for a long time. And of course it would be devastating to both Fitz and Nattie. They would forever be known as the family that rigged the California election. I believe that Mellie's father has persuaded Gerry to arrange the marriage with Mellie or he will release this information. So Gerry is forcing this marriage because the alternative would mean he would be ruined."

"I met Mellie's dad, Mr. Andrews, at the hospital. I could tell almost immediately that he was a deceitful person."

"He is that and more. He wants Mellie to have a stake in government and be First Lady eventually. Mellie does whatever her father wishes and he knows that wherever Fitz is in government, if Mellie can be by his side then this will allow him a measure of political power. He's very dangerous; I believe he has killed people when he hasn't gotten what he wanted from them. That's why I'm very careful in what I have my team doing. I cannot sacrifice their lives for information."

"So if Fitz doesn't marry Mellie it will either mean that his father and his family would be ruined or his father could be killed," Olivia said sadly.

"Yes, but Nattie and I are working hard so that it does not come to that. I know what you're thinking Livvy. You're thinking that you can't have Fitz because of what it could do or who it would hurt. Don't do that. You have a chance to be happy with the man you love in an open, free, committed relationship. That is not something to take lightly. The way you feel about Fitz doesn't go away easily and if you let him go, you'd be sacrificing your own happiness and filling your life with regret. You don't want that life."

XXXXXX

Fitz came to pick up Olivia at 9AM sharp. When she opened the door to greet him he was smiling, "Hey beautiful," he said as he kissed her in the doorway. The kiss was gentle, not too passionate, yet. "I've been waiting to do that for days."

She was smiling, yet speechless. She watched him as he walked in; he was really the sexiest man she had ever seen. She was all of a sudden very nervous to be with him this way. They had flirted and kissed but to spend an entire weekend together was something different. Could she really do it? How would she act around him? Would they end up sleeping together? It was too soon for that, wasn't it? So many questions were running through her head causing her to doubt she said yes to the trip.

"You're thinking too loudly," Fitz said as he laughed at the emotions crossing her face.

"What?" her voice was strained.

He walked up and caressed her face. "You're overthinking this Livvy. I need you to relax and have fun. I don't have any other expectations but to enjoy myself with you. I want to be alone with you, no interruptions, and no distractions. When we get there the phones get turned off, deal?"

She was thankful that he was trying to help her relax. She smiled, "Deal."

When he went to pick up her luggage she noticed his hand and it reminded her of what she saw when he came over previously. "What happened to your hand? It's healing but it was worse the other day. I meant to ask you but I had forgotten. Did you get into a fight?"

He looked at his hand and shrugged. "I hit Gerry,' he said matter-of-factly as if it was a perfectly natural thing. When Olivia started to speak, he continued, "He said something extremely offensive about someone I care about and I warned not to continue and he wouldn't listen. So…."

He thought she would lecture him or at least get upset. To his surprise she smiled, walked up to him grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles, "You've always been my protector, thank you," she said as she smiled up at him. He thought to kiss her but knew if he got started there is no telling when they would leave. He tore his gaze away to pick up her bags and said "We better go." Olivia smiled as she followed him out.

Fitz had the entire trip planned out. He said he had never taken a road trip to Santa Barbara; they usually flew but since he didn't tell his father where he was going, he couldn't arrange to use the plane. He had only told their mothers where they were going and directed them to only call if there was an emergency – meaning someone was dying or dead. He told his father's secretary that he wouldn't be in on the office today but she was nice to him and knew she would keep the information from his father.

He wanted to take her to breakfast first and then get on the road. They would stop in Monterey for lunch and should make it to Santa Barbara for dinner. He hoped she would enjoy the view of the coast on the ride. Even in the winter, the beach was beautiful to look at.

"Why did you want to take this trip with me?" Olivia asked over breakfast.

He answered her question with another question. "You thought I went back to Mellie when I found out about the miscarriage?"

"Yes."

"That's why….You keep thinking I'll go back to her; that I'll leave you and go back to her as if you are not important to me. Livvy you are the most important person in my life. I need to prove that to you so that you can start believing me."

She gave him a full smile, "I'm starting to." He reached over and grabbed her hand.

Just then two women walked up to their table. "Hey we know you….You're the Governor's son right? We saw your picture in the paper a while ago." They were tall beautiful women; one was a blonde and the other a red head. They flashed Fitz wide smiles to underscore their interest in him. He squeezed Olivia's hand tighter, not letting it go even when she tried to pull away.

Fitz gave a slight smile, "Hello ladies, yes I'm Fitzgerald and this is my girlfriend Olivia."

Both women looked to Olivia and their smiles faltered out of jealousy. "Hello ladies, it's nice to meet you." Olivia said brightly and confidently.

"Would you mind if we took a picture with you?" one of the ladies asked Fitz directly.

"Mmm maybe some other time. We have an appointment and we have to get going. I'm sorry," Fitz said as he paid the bill and helped Olivia stand so that they could exit out of the restaurant.

When they got back in the car to start the road trip, Olivia burst out in laughter. "Do you have to do that wherever you go? I'm thinking you probably stick out like a sore thumb around here. You're too gorgeous."

"Don't laugh. It's not funny. And it doesn't happen everywhere; you're exaggerating. I do, however, have a whole list of excuses in my head to use when I don't want to do something. But this time at least I told the truth."

"The truth huh, girlfriend? Were you referring to someone else? Who is that?" she teased and for effect looked around the parking lot as they pulled away from the restaurant.

"Oh that's not you?" he said in mock surprise, "Oh well I guess I'm making too much of our relationship. I forgot I'm just the guy you watched have sex with Trish and have frequent whet dreams about."

She squealed and opened her mouth in shock. He was driving, watching the road and smiling at her reaction to his knowledge of what she did.

"Shit! How the hell did you find that out and what are you talking about dreams?...Fitz stop laughing and tell me." She was getting flustered with embarrassment. That was supposed to be a secret she took to her grave.

"You told me. That day I came over and you were drinking too much. I was trying to put you to bed but you started talking. You said you watched me and Trish because you were curious about what sex looked like but you turned away when she was about to give me a blow job, which she didn't by the way," he tied to look at her from the corner of his eye but she was now looking out the window. He could guess that she was mortified. He thought it was cute. "Livvy you were only what? 16," he pleaded when she went quiet.

"I can't believe I told you that. I'm so embarrassed. You must think I'm some kind of pervert," she said in a bare whisper.

He reached over with his free hand and rubbed her thigh. He glanced at her and said "What do you think?" His voice and his touch was having too much of an effect on her, she needed to calm down.

"What about the dreams?" she asked.

"I think I'll save that one for later. I don't want to overload you with too much information."

He saw her frowning and he said, "You're beautiful when you're trying to figure things out."

"What was your first time like?" she asked, changing the subject.

He raised his eyebrow and shot her a look before speaking, "Oh you wanna know about that already?" he chuckled and continued, "When I was young I got shipped off to an all-boys boarding school. I hated being there but anyway, close by there was an all-girls school and sometimes they would have these co-ed functions. At one of them I saw this girl; I never forgot her name was Sophia. I thought she was cute but of course I was too nervous to talk to her. Turns out I didn't have to because she came up to me. She wanted us to start talking and everything. She was totally the aggressor in the relationship. I kinda just followed along. At one of the functions she sneaks us off into one of these janitorial closets or something and starts kissing me and undoing my pants. I was amazed and excited at the same time but she was like ready. So that's where we had sex. Of course it didn't last long but that was it. Sometime later she wrote me a letter saying her parents were taking her out of boarding school. And I never saw her again."

She was turned in her seat completely focused on him. She loved to hear him speak. His voice was amazing. She thought she could listen to him for hours.

"So it was kind of a quickie then," she teased.

"Hey I was only 14 and it was my first time. I've gotten a lot better since then," he said smiling.

"I bet you have," she said in more of a sexually charged way then she meant. But she couldn't help it. He made her want to lose control. It seemed he was feeling something too because he gave her an intense look and shifted in his seat.

"So what about you? What was your first like?" he asked.

She hadn't thought of Stephen for a long time. But she remembered the night and she recounted the event to Fitz.

"Wow at least he had skills," he said laughing, "He fixed you dinner, treated you special. So why did you break up?"

She wanted to say, _because he wasn't you,_ but she didn't. She shrugged and said, "We just weren't very compatible and I think we outgrew each other. And we were both heading off to different colleges anyway."

He was silent waiting for her to say more but she didn't. She changed the subject again, "So tell me about Italy?"

They continued asking each other questions about their lives during the drive. Even though they had known each other for so long they found there was much they still did not know and needed to learn.

XXXXXX

Fitz was right; the California coastline was breathtaking. She had never seen it like this before. While he drove she sat staring out the window. She offered to drive but he declined saying that she had the best view and he wanted her to enjoy it. Monterey was a beautiful coastal city. She would have liked to stay there for a day exploring the city but there was not time if they wanted to reach Santa Barbara by eth early evening. He took her to a seafood restaurant on the wharf. The food was amazing. She ate so much she felt like she needed him to roll her out to the car. He laughed at her and helped her from the table saying, "Come on. I can't wait to get you home."

"So who is at your house in Santa Barbara?" she asked as he continued driving.

"No one. We have a housekeeping staff that keeps up the maintenance but they come in and out about once a week."

"So we are going to be there alone?" she was feeling a mixture of panic, excitement and anticipation.

"Are you afraid to be alone with me?"

"I wouldn't necessarily call it fear. I would call it excitement and nervous anticipation," she said honestly.

"Well I hope I can live up to your expectations," he said smiling.

"I'm sure you will try," she said and they both laughed.

When they arrived at the home in Santa Barbara, Olivia was amazed at how beautiful it was. She couldn't believe that the home remained empty most of the time. Fitz explained that he and Teddy would come down as much as they could but when they got busy with school and working it became much more difficult. Gerry no longer cared for the home, preferring the luxury of the Governor's mansion instead. To Gerry, coming here was like going backwards.

Fitz took the bags from the car and led Olivia into the home. He greeted the household staff and thanked them for cooking dinner. He had previously arranged for them to have a meal prepared knowing he and Olivia would be arriving in the evening. He thought she might want to rest after being in a car for several hours and didn't want to make her go out again. He released the staff and told them they could come back on Monday evening.

They went to their separate rooms to freshen up for dinner. She later found him downstairs lighting a fire. "I think I'm going to get lost here. Do you mind showing me around?" she asked.

He was happy to do so and when he walked past her to lead her on the tour she thought he smelled so good; she almost told him so but controlled herself. He told her stories of past events that happened in the house as he showed her different rooms. She could tell that when he spoke of Teddy, it really touched him emotionally but he tried to snap out of it and lighten the mood.

"And where is your room?" she asked since it appeared he showed her every room except his own. He smirked and invited her to follow him. His room was in fact down the hall from her own and it was huge, much bigger than the guest bedroom. It had a fireplace and large bathroom attached. He told her about a funny incident when he and Teddy were playing around in the bedrooms. He then went silent and sat on the bed watching her walk around the room. She sat down beside by him, "Does it bother you to be here? Is it too many memories?"

"No it's fine; it just makes me realize how much I miss him," he said as stared at her. Olivia thought he might kiss her but he seemed to think better of it and stood up to grab her hand, "You ready to eat?"

"Sure," she said trying to hide her disappointment.

After dinner, they went to the sitting room to be close to the fire. He was talking about the different things they could do tomorrow but she was lost in thought staring at the fire. "Livvy, what's the matter?" he said trying to get her attention.

She looked at him with wide eyes and asked, "Would you still be with Mellie if you hadn't found out the truth about the accident? Would we even be here if it never came out?" Her thoughts were running rampant; every now and then the insecurity would settle in and she would feel like maybe he really didn't want to be with her and maybe she was some kind of rebound thing.

"From the moment I saw you walking down those stairs at the party, everything changed for me. I did not enjoy my life with Mellie but I was resigned to accept it. I was willing to sacrifice being happy for whatever future was promised to me. When we went to Los Angeles, I knew that I wanted to be with you. I knew that I wanted to break off whatever connection I had with Mellie well before then but the trip sealed it for me. I just didn't know how you felt. And when we were in the coffee shop you seemed so set against us being anything more than friends. At the New Year's Eve party, I realized how jealous I was to see you with Jake. I saw him kiss you and I wanted to hit him and snatch you away. I wanted you for myself. You have to understand that when I'm with you I don't feel the anger, hurt or pain that I get from everyone else around me. You give me peace, Livvy. You give me happiness. So whether or not the truth came out, I would not be with Mellie and I would hope that we would be right where we are now…..alone together."

She was speechless. He took her breath away. She opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. She had no idea how to respond.

"How do you know that you want to be here with me?" he asked and when she gave him a confused look, he clarified, "You're young Livvy. You have a lot of life to live; how do you know that you want to be tied up with me. I come with a lot of baggage. How do you know that you won't change your mind and decide it's not worth it?"

She was so busy worrying over whether he was sure about their relationship that she never considered he would think she could be the one to change her mind. She realized that he had the same concerns about their relationship that she had – would either of them back out, if it got too tough. She guessed that for most people it would be an impossible question to answer; how can anyone predict the future? But for her the answer was simple.

"Since we met, my life has always been about you – talking with you, laughing with you, getting close to you. My life is so intertwined with you that it can't be separated any longer. It's complicated and difficult but it's what I want. When I try to be without you, I'm miserable. I know that my future, whatever it may be is with you."

They continued to stare at each other and although he wanted to do more, he promised himself that he would not rush her to do anything. "We better get some rest. It was a long drive."

She stood up and said, "Yeah you're right." But he had not moved from the couch. He looked up at her and said, "One minute, can I hold you for one minute?" She looked down at him and immediately nodded. This was the first really intimate act he initiated since they started this trip. She sat down and moved into his arms, hesitant at first, still unsure of what to do or how to do it. He held his arms open for her allowing her to dictate the pace, to make the decision on how intimate she wanted it to be. She turned, nestled completed in his arms and he cocooned her in an embrace. They both sighed because it felt so good to connect with each other. He rubbed her arms in a comfortable pattern and she moved even closer. Their heartbeats were matching again; they were breathing in sync. Just like the night in the pool house it was as if they fit perfectly, as if it was always meant to be. It was an embrace that was familiar yet sensual and affectionate. It was just enough to leave them yearning for more.

XXXXXX

The next day was beautiful and sunny, unusually warm for the winter season. Olivia opted to take a tour of the Mission and the Rose Garden. She also wanted to take a walk on Hammonds private beach. As they walked along the beach, he mentioned that he knew some people who lived in Edgecliff Lane, the private community close to the beach. She asked if he wanted to visit them while he was here but he strongly declined. The people he knew were not who he called friends and they were not nice. He would prefer not to run into them at all. They would only ask endless questions about his relationship with Olivia and he didn't want her to sit through the interrogation.

For dinner he wanted to take her to the Plow and Angel restaurant. They came home to change and Olivia dressed meticulously. She picked out the perfect dress and did her hair and makeup. She wore a form-fitting long sleeve black dress with the back plunged very low. Although it wasn't too cold, she brought her wrap just in case.

When she came down the stairs she saw Fitz dressed handsomely in a black dinner jacket and white collared shirt. He was scrolling through his phone. "Is there an emergency already?" she called from midway of the staircase.

He looked up at her and immediately smiled. "You're gorgeous Livvy." When she came down the stairs, she walked up to him, kissed him on the lips and said "Thank you." He hugged her to him and trailed his fingers down her exposed back. He glided both hands over her ass and brought her closer to him. "No, thank you. I'm going to enjoy staring at you all night."

Halfway through dinner, Olivia excused herself to go to the ladies room. She wasn't gone long but when she returned another couple had joined Fitz in the booth. Olivia straightened her back and confidently walked over to the table to meet Fitz' friends.

"Livvy, this is Adam Sanders and his wife Jessica. They are friends of the family."

Olivia extended her hand in greeting, "Hello, very nice to meet both of you." Olivia sat down and began thinking the name Sanders sounded familiar. But she dismissed it because it was really a common name. Fitz explained that they spotted him in the restaurant and came over; he invited them to sit down.

Adam and Jessica asked Olivia about her background, which she responded in brief details. At the first opening, she took the focus off of herself by asking them to tell her how Fitz was when he was young. Adam had many stories about Fitz recklessness – partying, drinking, girls, and underage driving – just to name a few. He swore Fitz was some type of dare devil always willing to take the risk, to push it to the edge just to see how far he could go. His father was always bailing Fitz out of some type of trouble. Olivia felt a twinge of sadness because she recognized the signs of a child crying out for attention and affection from their parent, but she continued to smile and laugh with the group. Adam also told a story where Fitz and his brother Jeffrey pretended to be brothers because they looked so much alike and they would play tricks on girls at parties.

Olivia's eyes went wide; Jeffrey Sanders was the same person who Mellie was or is dating – the father of her child. She looked at Fitz to see if he had made the connection but he hadn't. But how could he, did she ever tell him the information she had on Mellie? In all the chaos of dealing with her mother and coming to Santa Barbara she literally put it all out of her mind. She knew it would ruin his evening to hear that now. She tried to refocus on the conversation.

When she appeared to tense up, she felt Fitz' hand on her thigh under the table. He moved her dress up and began stroking her bare thigh. He then moved his hand between her thighs and Olivia lost her concentration. She had to fight the urge to moan aloud. She kept taking deep breaths and when his hand slowly inched further and further up her thigh she thought she might jump out of her skin. He was teasing her with his hand, careful not to get to close but getting close enough. She was finding it difficult to contribute to the conversation. She suddenly needed dinner to end as soon as possible. Meanwhile, Fitz remained unfazed; he continued talking with Adam and Jessica as if he wasn't starting a fire within her with his hands under the table.

On the ride home he asked her what she thought of the restaurant, her meal and Adam and Jessica, she gave one word answers. It wasn't that she was not paying attention. She was completely focused on him. She watched his mouth as he spoke. She listened to his deep seductive voice. She watched his strong, chiseled profile, his massive hands on the steering wheel – hands that were just stroking her thigh in the restaurant. She watched his chest rising and falling with each breath he took. _Damn I want him so bad_, she thought and bit her lip to prevent herself from saying it out loud. And when he looked over to catch her watching him, she averted his gaze and looked out the window. She forced herself not to look at him again but kept looking out the window. He continued to ask her about her thoughts of the evening and she again gave short answers in a voice that she barely recognized because it was hoarse with desire.

When they arrived at the house, she watched him open the door to the house for her and take off his jacket; she just stood on the threshold watching him move throughout the house. She was mesmerized; she could barely move. She imagined that she looked ridiculous standing there in the foyer with her coat and purse still in her hand but she didn't care. He was talking but she had no idea what he was saying; she just needed to soak in the entire look of him from head to toe. He was so sexy and it sent chills through her body. She must have shivered because he asked, "Are you cold, do you want me to light the fire?" She just looked at him. He had to ask the question twice before she snapped out of the trance and responded.

"What? What did you say?"

"I asked if you wanted me to light the fire. Are you okay? What's wrong?" he said as he walked up and took her purse and coat from her to put down on the entry table.

"I would like a fire…but can we light it in your room?" she said confidently.

He just stared at her making sure he understood her meaning. "Livvy", he said questioningly. He didn't want her to think that he brought her here just to have sex with her. He would go as slow as she needed. He would wait for her as long as she needed. He shoved his hands in his pockets and took a big step back away from her, careful not to put any pressure on her by touching her.

She saw his struggle and smiled. She walked up and took his hand out of his pocket and wordlessly brought him up the stairs. Olivia felt powerful; like she was in control although once they got to his room she would enjoy giving him all the power to give her sexual pleasure. Fitz was watching the sway of Olivia's hips as she brought him upstairs and became so aroused that the friction from his pants was sending his senses into overload. In truth he had been aroused all night. From the moment he saw her come downstairs in that dress he wanted to rip it off her. And when he was rubbing her thigh in the restaurant, it killed him to keep a straight face and continue talking to Adam and Jessica. He only sought to give Olivia comfort but rubbing her was slowly sending him over the edge. He wanted to touch and stroke her; make her wet and cause her to moan in pleasure right at the table but he restrained himself. He was prepared to take a cold shower tonight but instead he was now being led to his room by the object of his desire.

She brought him in the room and sat on the couch while he worked on the fire. She took off her shoes and watched as he built the fire. Every now and then he would look over his shoulder at her and find her watching him. When he finished and stood up he walked over took her hand so that she stood barefoot in front of him. She was small compared to him.

And because he loved the feel of her skin and to stroke her neck with his hands, he followed his custom of caressing her face with his hands. She looked up at him and he saw in her an expression of longing that matched his own. He could see the ambers of the fire being reflected in her brown almond shaped eyes. "Livvy, I love you. But I didn't bring you here just so that we could have sex. I brought you here because I want to be with you. We don't have to do anything tonight. We can wait. I want you and that's not going to change."

"I know…but I want you to make love to me", she said. He loved her honesty.

He slowly leaned down to kiss her lips trying to give her enough time, if she felt the need to change her mind but he prayed that she would not. When he lightly kissed her lips it was her tongue that came out and glided across his upper and lower lips. When he felt it, he moaned and crashed down on her lips opening his mouth to take in her taste. The hunger was back and they were both starved. As he kissed her, he gently brought down the sleeves of her dress. Never breaking the kiss he eased it down until it was a pool on the floor.

When she stood there in her bustier and panties he stepped back and admired her. "Livvy, you are so beautiful." The fire cast an orange glow on her golden skin making her appear ethereal.

She smiled; there was no shyness – his appetite for her was evident and she enjoyed the feeling she created in him. She came to him and began taking off his shirt and pants. He watched her small, delicate fingers working at his clothing and he would never imagine that such a simple gesture would be so erotic. Everything about her turned him on and when she got to the buckle of his pants he sucked in his breath and quivered from anticipation.

Olivia was operating on instinct. She had not been with anyone since Stephen and therefore would not describe herself as someone with a wealth of sexual experience. But with Fitz she did what felt right. She refused to think; she didn't want to second guess herself. When he looked at her she felt amazing; she could feel his love; the only love she ever wanted. And that made this so natural, so right and so perfect.

When she removed his clothing he tilted her head up and searched her eyes for any hesitation or uncertainty. He found none. She smiled at him to assure him that this was what she wanted. He smiled back at her and kissed her again. When he deepened the kissed, she began sucking at his lower lip and it sent him over the edge. He picked her up, straddling her legs around him and moved them to the bed, never once breaking the kiss. She was so petite almost delicate. He gently laid her on the bed but when he tried to pull back she wouldn't let him go. He tried again, this time she let him. He smiled down at her, "I wanna go slow; I wanna feel you." His eyes were clouded with desire and she could only bite her lip for the anticipation of being with him.

When she lay on the bed, he began to worship her body with kisses. He kissed, sucked and nibbled at her neck. He glided his tongue in a trail down her neck and she shuttered. She hadn't even noticed that he already unhooked her bustier and now it was loose around her chest. He eased it down kissing all of her newly exposed flesh. He was moving at an agonizing slow pace and it was creating a frenzy within Olivia. He kissed the valley between her breast, inhaling and reveling in her scent. "Oh Livvy baby you are so sexy." He moved to her breasts and took one brown nipple in his mouth. He sucked feverishly and Olivia arched her back and moaned loudly. Olivia grabbed his shoulders and dug her nails in. He was torturing her with his attentions and she thought she might explode from all the feelings he was creating within her.

He moved to the other breast and as he sucked and nibbled until it became a bulb he simultaneously moved his hand down to her panties and removed them easily. He moved his hand down to her folds and began to stroke her. Olivia's eyes closed tightly and she moaned "Oh my god." He stroked her gently and felt her wetness filing his hands. He inserted his finger inside her while using his thumb to continue stroking her clit. Olivia was gasping, trying to catch her breath. When he inserted another finger, she cried out, "Fitz, please." She was on fire with sensations and she began to move against his fingers. He started to move his fingers in and out of her – first at a slow, gentle pace and then when she moved faster he matched her rhythm.

It didn't take long for her body to demand a release. The feeling was so intense, so maddening she thought she might faint from it. Her eyes were rolling back in her head; she arched her back and began moaning, louder and louder – echoes that filled the room. Every nerve in body was pulsating; she was rising like a crescendo – higher and higher- until she climaxed and moaned his name.

As she came down from her high, he began gently massaging her body; she closed her eyes loving the feel of his hands all over her. He then sat back on his knees and looked her over – feasting on the site that lay before him. She was everything he could ever want out of life. He knew he could never, ever let her go. When he stopped, Olivia's eyes popped open and she saw him watching her. She should have felt embarrassed or shy but she didn't. She enjoyed him watching her. He looked up and his eyes met hers. "I just want to see you; watch you; your amazing Livvy."

"I love you Fitz," she said in a whisper. It was the first time she said it to him although he had said it multiple times. It hung between them for several minutes as they watched each other. In that moment, with them there, she being so open and exposed to the man before her, she had never felt so adored and loved.

He removed his underwear and reached for a condom out of his dresser drawer. She watched him out of veiled eyes as he put it on. She could barely move her body or say anything; she felt so deliciously sated. He moved on top of her and brushed her hair from her face. He kissed her forehead, her eyelids her checks and when he kissed her mouth, she came alive again. She brought her arms up and stroked his hair; locking his mouth to hers. "Fitz, I need….I need you inside me" she breathed and in one movement he entered her quickly. She moaned in his mouth for the sensation of him filling every inch of her. When he pulled out slightly, she thrust her hips to take him in more. She loved the feeling of their bodies being connected.

He stopped moving, he broke the kiss and dropped his head to the pillow, "Shit," he whispered in her ear. "Livvy you're so tight." She purred at his words and began to move by gyrating her hips and he couldn't take it.

"Livvy please don't move yet," he begged, "Damn you feel so good". She was so tight that it threatened to make him lose control.

She tried to be still. She kissed and nibbled at his earlobes. She reigned kissed on his neck while she waited but the pressure was building and she needed to move again. "Baby, it feels good to move; I need to move." She began moving and he moved with her in a melodic rhythm. He cupped her face in his hands and captured her mouth for a consuming kiss. He pulled out and she whimpered. He teased her entrance with his tip before he entered again. She could only let him do that for so long before she forced him to stay inside her by wrapping her legs around him.

He rolled them over until she was on top. She liked this position because it gave her control. As soon as she was on top, she was able to take more of him inside of her. He was so deep inside that they both paused, moaned and closed their eyes. She sat up, straddling him and began rubbing her hands over his chest. When she looked down at him, his eyes were still closed as he fought for control. "Damn baby, you are so sexy," she said and his eyes popped open.

She was riding him and the pleasure was intense. She couldn't hold back the moans escaping from her. He stroked her ass as she continued to move against him and then brought his hands up to massage her breasts. She threw her head back and rode him harder. He grasped her small waist and guided them to a rhythm that was steady and deliberate. "Fitz, I'm gonna…" she could barely catch her breath. "Oh yeah Livvy….oh yeah." He could feel her walls pulsating around his member and held on, timing it so that they would climax together. And soon they did, each calling the other's name. Olivia crashed down on his chest in exhaustion.

When their heavy breathing slowed to a normal pace, she felt Fitz' chest vibrate in laughter and she wondered where he got the strength to do that. He stroked her hair and her back as she lay completely on top of him.

"Was I as good as in your dreams?" he said jokingly.

She tried to sit up and look at him but he wrapped his arms around her and held her in place. She couldn't see his face but she said, "What are you talking about? This is the second time you mentioned dreams."

"You told me. You said you have dreams about me and in your dreams I'm phenomenal. So how did I do?"

She rolled her eyes because he had way too much information to use against her. "Mmmm I'll let you know once we practice more," she said and he stopped stroking her back. She figured he was shocked. Her laughter filled the room.

XXXXXX

They now lay in the perfect spooning position. He held her in his arms as her back lay against his chest. She was absentmindedly making circle patterns on his arms.

"What are you thinking?" Fitz asked.

"How amazing it is to be in your arms right now. I'm so happy to be here with you."

He kissed the top of her head.

She stopped rubbing his arms. "Fitz?" she said unable to hide the worry in her voice.

"What's the matter Livvy?"

"There is something…I should have told you earlier. It might have changed…Well, how this evening turned out," she grew quiet trying to get the courage to speak.

He nudged her to get her to continue talking. She took a deep breath and started again, "I wanted you tonight but I think it was wrong of me to sleep with you knowing everything that is at stake. Your father….Him wanting you to marry Mellie is not just about you replacing Teddy. It's bigger than that. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but your father did not win his position as Governor legally. Apparently there was election rigging going on – both times. Mellie's dad found out about it and he's holding if over your father's head. So if you don't marry Mellie there is a chance that it could all come out and ruin your father and your family." She spoke rapidly trying to get the words out before she lost her nerve. She was thankful that she could not see his face, she was emotionally vulnerable right now, and she couldn't stand to see him frowning at her right now. She began to regret that she brought it up; this was the wrong time.

"I already know that Livvy," he said plainly.

"What!? You know," she couldn't believe it. She turned in his arms and faced him. She propped her head up on her hand so she could sit up and watch his face. He didn't look surprised or angry.

"I found Teddy's flash drive from his computer….It had a lot of information on it including what he gathered regarding my father's illegal activities."

"What are you going to do? Why are you here with me if it means your family could be ruined?" she asked desperately.

He looked at her for several minutes and then brought his hand up to gently stroke her face. "Did I not tell you I would risk it all for you? I meant it Livvy. I'd give it all up for you."

"Fitz you can't…you can't risk all of that for me. I can't live with the burden of knowing that if everything goes wrong it's my fault," she was getting worked up and her eyes were becoming pools of tears.

He kissed her deeply. "Livvy, I'm handling it. Can you trust me? I'm taking care of it. I promise you everything will be okay."

She searched his eyes for several minutes. "I trust you, I do. But I need details on what's going on and what you are doing. I'm tired of everyone keeping me in the dark about everything. I can't relax until I know."

He knew she would need to know the details and in truth he wanted to share it with her but not tonight. "I understand but not tonight. Tomorrow we will talk Livvy and I'll tell you what I know."

She gave him a peck on the lips, smiled and said "thank you." She then moved off of the bed and found the white shirt he wore this evening. She slipped it on but didn't button the front. Fitz sat up in bed and watched her move about the room. When she put on his shirt with the front gaping open, he thought it was the sexiest thing he ever saw. She started going to the bedroom door.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To the kitchen to get some water. Do you want something?"

"I'll come with you," he got out of bed and slipped back on his briefs. He looked up to find her smiling at him in that way of hers. He laughed and said, "You're thinking too loudly. I can hear that dirty mind of yours."

She laughed at him. She was thinking about the things they could do in the kitchen and it was getting her aroused again. She was leading him out of the room when she said, "Good then you won't need a play by play of what I want you to do to me when we get there."

**(A/N: I don't generally write sex scenes so I hope I did Fitz and Liv justice. As always I love the reviews/feedback - like, dislike, indifferent. It all helps. Thanks again for taking the time to read.)**


	17. Something Wicked This Way Comes

**(Hello, I have to admit, I was totally wrecked from the Scandal finale. For the most part I enjoyed it but the scene with Fitz crawling back to Mellie is bothering me to this day. I couldn't write for days. I'm so hurt by the weak characterization of Fitz. Is this the second time this season the man has been broken? Okay well, I'll stop my ranting and let you read my next chapter. Again sorry for the delay in posting but I'm sure you understand the affect Scandal has had on my life….Feel free to follow me on Twitter and Tumblr: **_**belladamenoir.**_** Please don't forget to leave reviews and feedback, as usual, it all helps.)**

**Something Wicked This Way Comes**

"The way I see it, your problem begins and ends with Olivia Pope," Joseph said. He took a sip of his drink, and reclined further back on the couch before continuing, "Look, I'm sure Olivia or Livvy as you all call her is a very nice sort of gal but she is really becoming a thorn in my side. Gerry you know she has that boy of yours, pussy-whipped, wrapped around her little finger and it's throwing a monkey wrench in all of our plans. Now, you two boys are gonna have to figure out how to get her out of the way or…..I can certainly step in and take of the problem." Joseph smiled; he knew he had succeeded in lighting a fire under both Gerry and Jake. He knew they did not want him to step in and take care of the situation. They wouldn't like it at all.

Both Gerry and Jake exchanged a look, both equally uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation.

He continued, "What I can't believe is that you both have allowed this little slip of a girl to come in and turn everything upside down. It's laughable really. Well let me tell you something, she won't be allowed to mess up what we have arranged for the future of this country because I have a contingency plan….. You gotta always have a plan B…..But I will say that you two will have a lot to answer for if you fail. I have no problem jumpin' off your sinking ship and leaving you both to drown."

Joseph stood up stretched and said, "You both have a good day. I'll be in touch," and he left the room.

"Dammit, why does Fitz have to be so stubborn?" Gerry said more to himself than to Jake. He then turned to Jake, "Go on to Santa Barbara, take care of it like we discussed," he paused and saw the distress on Jake's face. "I know you care for her, I do too. Its better we do this than allow Joseph to handle it. So you've got to make this work."

Jake nodded in agreement. He then said, "Sir, may I make another suggestion? Her father?"

"I've already considered it. He knows but I told him I wouldn't bring him in unless it was absolutely necessary. If this doesn't work; I'll call him."

XXXXXX

"Have you seen the news, what the hell did you do?!," Cyrus was yelling through the phone.

"Cyrus calm down before you burst a blood vessel. I have never appreciated being yelled at by any man and I certainly will not tolerate it from you so calm down and talk to me like a regular person," Denise said.

Cyrus began to read the article. "A vehicle fire on Highway 101 caused a major pile up which delayed traffic for several hours. Local fireman extinguished the vehicle just prior to the car exploding, sources say. The driver of the vehicle was later identified as US Naval Intelligence Officer Captain Jake Ballard. He was pulled from the vehicle by another driver. He is currently in the hospital being treated for burns and smoke inhalation…. So Denise Pope, please tell me what you did?"

"What do you think I did Cyrus? I took care of it, like you asked me to do?"

"Were you trying to kill him? I did not authorize the killing of Jake Ballard and you and your team cannot risk this entire operation by going rogue. So do me a little favor, stop ordering your friend, what's his name, Huck to kill people."

Denise flinched at the mention of Huck, she hated that Cyrus knew the names of the people who worked for her. She prided herself on keeping their identities confidential but Cyrus obviously had done some digging to find out who they were. "Cyrus if I wanted Jake Ballard dead, he would be dead. I don't kill people, that's your arena, not mine. I had him investigated and discovered that his extracurricular activities included watching and photographing my daughter. His apartment was full of photos of her. That would not do. So I know precisely what you asked me to do but what you need to know is that anyone, anyone who I think is endangering my daughter will be handled."

Cyrus remained silent. Denise sighed and continued, "Cyrus don't fret. We made it look like a routine vehicle malfunction. Nothing will be traced back to you or the team. I know what I'm doing. The bigger problem is that he was in route to Santa Barbara, so you know what that means."

Cyrus exhaled sharply. "Yes, I know exactly what that means. They know more about them then we wanted them to. We will have to talk to them. Something will have to change and they won't like it."

Denise fell into silence. _Why couldn't life ever be easy? _she thought. "I've bought them some time; give them another day in Santa Barbara. It's the least we can do."

"Yeah, fine, whatever….I'll send a message to Fitz and tell him not come back until Monday. But we meet Monday night; they'll be going back to school soon and we need a full understanding on this by everyone involved."

XXXXXX

Olivia smiled even before she opened her eyes. Her immediate thoughts were filled with one person…Fitz. The sun was shining brightly through the bedroom windows and she felt happier than she had in a very long time, if ever. It was as if the rays were bathing her in an afterglow. She stretched her muscles and immediately noticed that Fitz' side of the bed was empty except for a single rose on his pillow with a note that read, "Good Morning, Beautiful". She smiled as she brought the beautiful rose to her nose and inhaled its fragrant scent.

She lay back down as her mind drifted to the memory of the last night causing her smile to deepen. She was in a state of bliss and didn't want to leave the bed; she could still smell his scent on her and on the sheets. She could still feel his warmth. Her mind was flooded with erotic memories of the evening before. The pleasure she felt was almost indescribable. He had patiently explored her, learning all the sensitive, sexually arousing areas of her body and listening for the sounds she made to express her exquisite delight. He found the sensitive area behind her ear and after he gave it affectionate attention, he would whisper in her ear and the vibrations from his baritone voice would send her body into ecstatic convulsions. Olivia unconsciously brought her hand up to the area in question and smiled in recollection of the sensation of his lips, his tongue, and his warm breath. Her hand moved down to her breast covered by a thin sheet and she remembered how he worshipped them and in appreciation she arched her back as encouragement for him to never stop. He was a skilled artist playing her body like a musical instrument and in the end she was singing note after note after note; until she collapsed in euphoria.

She exhaled sharply. She had to stop the wonderings of her mind. She refused to allow herself to even think about what they had done in the kitchen; that would make her blush. She was getting aroused and he was nowhere in sight. She checked the time and realized that it was well past noon. She needed to get up and get dressed. She had never slept that long but smiled again when she realized the reason was her exhaustion from being with him.

As she dressed, she wondered how their relationship would fare when they went back to separate schools. Would they be able to handle not seeing each other for extended periods of time? How would Fitz deal with Mellie at school? How would they act around their family now? Would they be a public couple or would it need to be kept private? What did their future look like? Were they selfish to pursue a relationship knowing what was at risk or who could be hurt? More questions kept popping up in her mind and very few answers were forthcoming. She was an over-thinker and couldn't help the feeling of worry and fear that was invading her psyche. In the light of day, she knew they would have to face the consequences of their decision, although confident that she and Fitz could brave the storm she was more concerned about who else would be casualty.

She went downstairs and could not immediately locate Fitz until she noticed a shadow move outside the front door. She then heard a vehicle pulling away from the residence. Fitz came through the front door and Olivia noticed the deep frown on his face. She knew there was something wrong and the worry she was already carrying intensified. She braced herself for whatever news he would give, knowing that it would not bode well for their relationship.

Fitz looked up at Olivia and his breath was caught. He immediately eased the frown on his face and stared at her. She was amazing. Last night did nothing to satisfy his desire to be with her; it only intensified it. She had entered his blood stream and he needed her like oxygen. There was no way he would give her up no matter what was said and no matter what threats were made. He was stronger with her by his side and he was confident that together they could make it work.

"You're staring," Olivia said with a shaky smile. Her gut was twisting now because she noticed a large brown envelope in Fitz' hand and knew that whatever was inside would do nothing to ease her anxiety.

"I am," he began as he walked closer to her, "I'm staring because I am a man in love with an incredible woman - a beautiful and sexy woman."

She tried to smile under his praise. When Fitz was upon her enfolded her small frame into his body smiled down at her, "Hi."

"Hi," she managed breathlessly before he kissed her deeply, lifting her off the ground to mold her against his length. He tilted his head to take in more of her taste, sending his tongue in to duel with hers. She responded immediately and ran her fingers through his hair. She began to moan against his mouth and he thought it was the sweetest sound he ever heard. He broke away to trail kisses down her neck, "Livvy, I need you." His voice, so deep, so intense caused her to shiver and bend her head to give him more access. She gripped his shoulders because she felt weak, like she was melting. "Fitz," she whispered; her need was rivaling his.

In her haze of sexual arousal she almost didn't hear the envelope slip out of Fitz hand and hit the floor sending its contents scattering on the floor. They broke the kiss simultaneously and Fitz gently set Olivia's feet to the ground. Olivia was the first to bend down and pick up the photos on the floor. "What's this?" she asked. She looked through each photo of her and Fitz during their trip in Santa Barbara. The time they spent yesterday exploring the city appeared to have been captured in detail by someone following them. She looked up at Fitz, who was now frowning again, "Where did you get these? Why is someone following us?"

Fitz exhaled sharply and closed his eyes. He didn't want to talk about it but he knew he didn't have a choice. If he and Olivia were going to have any kind of future he needed to tell her what he could.

"Fitz, I think it's time to talk, don't you?"

He agreed to only have 'the discussion' after Olivia had eaten. They were now in the study, with Olivia seated on the couch but Fitz was too nervous to sit. He had no idea how Olivia would respond to this information and felt he needed to stand to be able to deal with whatever her reaction maybe.

"It's that bad?" Olivia asked when he kept hesitating obviously uncertain of how to begin.

He took a deep breath and began, "What you said last night was only a fraction of the truth….There's really a lot more…so much more…damn," he was fidgeting. The conversation was stressing him out and it had not even started.

"Hey, hey, Fitz…it's okay, whatever you're going to say, we, you and I, we are going to be fine. Okay?"

"I hope you still feel that way after hearing what I have to say," he paused, staring at her before continuing, "What I'm about to say is going to sound ridiculous, even stupid but you need to hear me out."

She nodded to encourage him to continue.

"Have you ever wondered why certain people get elected when it appears that the majority of voters are against them? The election of 1996, the Democratic candidate was ahead in all the polls, a shoe-in to win but then the votes supposedly came in and to everyone's shock the Republican candidate wins. Sometimes the favor for one candidate is broader sometimes it's more slight. In any case, the public is made to believe that it was a result of random votes that the ultimate victor was decided. Even in countries where there is no democracy, certain rulers are allowed to take the throne while others are rejected and then others after taking office are either assassinated or overthrown. All these events are not as random as people think. They are not the result of some lunatic leading a group of misfits. Terrorist plots, stock market crashes, political character assassinations and impeachments, nuclear armaments, testing and threats – everyone thinks this is just world news; examples of how the world changes from one day to the next but it's not. Everything is carefully orchestrated and executed." He looked at Olivia and as expected she had given him her undivided attention.

"There are a group of men; I don't know how big; I don't even know who they all are but they operate completely in the dark, behind the scenes. While allowing the American public to believe in the freedoms of our democracy, they actually control it all. They control who gets elected and who doesn't; they control what laws get passed and which do not. To keep of the pretense of a free society, they may allow certain decisions to be made by the people but for the most part, the very important decisions are not made by the people at all. They don't trust the American people to make the right choice. They appear to work in connection with men from other countries but being that the United States is the most powerful country on the earth, all the real power rests with them…..People live and die at their whim. It's horrible and it turns everything we believe in upside down. It means that we don't live in the country we thought we did."

"Fitz, how do you know all this? Where did you get this information?" admittedly she was having difficulty believing what he said.

He knew he sounded ridiculous. Olivia was looking at him like he was crazy. He had the same look on his face when he was first told and even hearing himself saying it aloud didn't make it any more believable.

"I know it sounds crazy, unbelievable. But Livvy, my father, Mellie's father, they are both part of this group. My brother Teddy was recruited out of the Navy to work for a secret branch of the Justice Department whose only task has been the identification and apprehension of this group. Teddy was their inside man. He was the Governor's son, in a perfect position to gather information on Gerry that could possibly lead to identifying the group and obtaining enough evidence for the Justice Department to really do something about it. When he died, they asked me to finish where he left off. As much as I hate Gerry, he is my Father and knowing every day that I'm lying to him and actively working against him turns my stomach. I hate it, but what choice do I have."

"They want you to be President," she said as a lead in to encourage him to explain.

"They do. My father offered up his sons as the sacrifice. The group wanted candidates they could put into office and control public policy through him. It's important because if they can control and manipulate the Commander in Chief, then they can dictate anything….when/if America goes to war, electing a Supreme Court Justice….Teddy was the first up but his untimely death has put me in the hot seat," he laughed although there was no humor behind it; only sadness.

"So the President we have in place now is one of theirs?" she asked and he nodded in response. "And next year when there is another election?"

"They want it to be one of theirs too but hopefully it won't."

Olivia put her head in her hands. She was beginning to get a headache. "Fitz none of this makes any sense. You are telling that there is a group of secret men who are controlling the country, in essence, controlling the world. It sounds like a made-up story. It's not possible."

"Livvy think about it….its possible…..There is an undercurrent of decision makers in this country. They only operate behind closed doors. You'd be amazed what powerful and rich people can get away with behind closed doors. In the interest of national security, the American people are already kept in the dark about so much. These men believe they are true patriots also working in the best interest of the people. They believe that if they don't take charge, then the republic would eventually get destroyed through political infighting, weak public policy and a toppled economic system. They think they are saving us."

There was silence as Olivia tried to make sense of the things he said. She knew there was a lot the American people did not know about but never anything like this. She couldn't imagine the ramifications if the citizens of the United States found out that their vote did not matter, everything was already decided. Their destinies had been fated by a group of faceless men who claimed to be acting in their interest because they were too child-like to decide for themselves.

"But it doesn't make sense for Mellie's Father to threaten Gerry with exposure about election rigging because that would expose the whole group," Olivia said in confusion.

"My father's elections were rigged. The group had a suspicion about Teddy and believed that he could not be trusted any longer to fulfill the role they had for him. Sadly, if he had not died in the accident, I truly believe they would have had him killed."

"Oh my god, Fitz. Your father would have allowed that?"

"Livvy, my Father is neck deep and has no choice any longer. He does what they tell him to do whether he wants to or not."

"So now you are in the same type of danger. **We** are in the same type of danger because you have made it clear that you won't go along with their plan for you….And they may know that you are continuing in the work Teddy started, which makes this even more dangerous," she realized. When she first heard the small portion of what her mother told her she thought they were dealing with the challenge of saving their reputations and securing his future. Never in her wildest dreams did she think the level of risk was amplified to the point where someone could pay the ultimate price.

"Livvy, I'm sorry," suddenly Fitz was on his knees in front of Olivia. He knew he had put her in the cross hairs of all that was going on purely out of a selfish need to love her. He was no longer just risking his life but hers as well. He knew exactly what he was doing and he pushed ahead foolishly thinking that he could correct everything without it affecting her. He realized that he should have told her beforehand; he should have warned her exactly what being with him would really mean. But he couldn't. He could never run the risk that she might not want him.

Olivia looked down at their joined hands and into his eyes filled with desperation and fear. She knew he thought she would bolt. That somehow this would all be too much for her to deal with and she would decide it wasn't worth it. Was it worth it?

"Livvy, listen to me. I'm sorry. I was selfish. I wanted you so bad I didn't care. But I truly believe that we can conquer this. I won't let it destroy us. I will protect you Livvy. Can…Can you believe me?" his eyes were watering. He was pleading with her to trust him.

"Where did the pictures come from?" was all she could ask. Her voice was void of emotion.

He tilted his head in confusion; her train of thought threw him. But he knew what it meant; she was trying to emotionally disconnect. She was trying use reason instead of being driven by feelings. He stood up and backed away, giving her room to breathe; not wanting to crowd her. The tension in the room was palpable. He was deathly afraid that she would turn on him now.

"This morning I got a message from Adam that he and his brother Jeffrey wanted to stop by for a visit. When I heard the car drive up I went outside and the pictures were in this folder by the door. Someone got through the security gate and left them for me. If I had to guess I would say the pictures were more than likely taken by someone hired by Jake," he paused remembering that he had not told her about Jake; another secret he kept from her. "Livvy, Jake works for my Father, for the group. He was assigned to come here to see what I knew about the work Teddy was doing and to….." he abruptly stopped and shook his head.

She looked at him, fighting back her tears and nodded with a pained smile. "I get it. He was asked to seduce me, right? Get me away from you."

She felt listless, like everything had been sucked right out of her. She leaned back against the couch and stared at the ceiling. Everyone around her – her mother, Natalia, Gerry, Teddy, Joseph, Jake, Mellie and  
Fitz – were all a part of something bigger than she ever imagined. And she was the force messing up all the carefully laid plans. She was the one in the center of the storm, kicking up the most dust. It was all because she fell in love with Fitz. What could she do? What if she just walked away, could everything be undone? Would everyone be safe then?

Fitz phone vibrated in his pocket. He read the text message from Cyrus: _Stay until Monday; meeting my place Monday night at 8PM; bring Liv_. He placed the phone back in his pocket and sunk back into his chair. He kept his distance from Olivia. She was thinking and he wanted to give her the opportunity to work it out in her mind and decide what she wanted to do. But even if she wanted to walk away; he would fight like hell to keep her.

The minutes stretched on in silence. Olivia kept staring at the ceiling and Fitz continued to stare at her.

The only sound in the room was the ticking clock on the wall. Each minute was like torture for Fitz; like he was slowly watching his life slip away. And there was nothing he could do about it.

After what seemed like an eternity, she lifted her head and looked at him with clear eyes. "Ok", she said.

"Ok? Ok what," he asked, daring to hope.

"I'm in. But tell me how close are you? How soon will all this be over?"

He released the breath he had been holding. His whole body relaxed; he unclenched his hands. "Cyrus thinks we are very close…..Livvy, I brought you in this life. You didn't know the risks but I did. I am sorry for weighing you down with all of this. I know you deserve a normal life and I'm sorry that I cannot give it to you."

"Normal is overrated," she said with a slight smile that almost reached her eyes. "I don't think that you and I were ever meant to lead normal lives….I cannot believe how much has changed in this short period of time. Kind of makes me long to go back to school." Their laughter lightened the room.

"You sound like me. I didn't want this life; I fought it and fought it until I realized it is what Teddy would have wanted me to do and it's the right thing to do." He still didn't dare move toward her. Just because she agreed to support what was happening didn't necessarily mean that she wanted to still be with him.

They stared at each other. And their silent communication commenced. He was telling her how much he needed her; the desperation he felt to love her. And she was telling him her fear of risking everything for love and coming out a loser.

"What future do you see for us?" she asked.

There was no hesitation. "I want you; by my side through it all Livvy. I have never needed anyone or anything as much as I need you. I want a political future; I want to help my country but when I look at my future the only person I want to share it with is you. Cyrus thinks he can help me become an honest President; one elected by the people and I want that with you. Can you handle that?"

"You've never asked me what I want to do with my future," she said eyeing him sternly.

She was right. He was so wrapped in fitting her into his plans he never considered she may have plans of her own that did not include him at all. Perhaps she had ambitions that were not compatible with his life. He suddenly felt like a fool, dragging her around and placing her in his life without concern about her identity; who she was and what she wanted. "You are right, I never did; it was foolish of me not to consider."

He stood up and walked to her, "What do you want Livvy?"

"I want my own place in this world; my own purpose. I don't want to lose who I am just because I'm with you."

"I understand and I would never ask you to," he stated as he came and sat next to her. He slowly took her hand in his and stated, "Livvy, can you stay with me in this crazy, less than normal life? Cause I need you baby, like I need my next breath." He raised her hand and kissed the back of it, never once taking his eyes off of her.

"I need to know that there will be no more secrets between us. If I ask a question, I want to be sure that you will tell me the full truth. Don't hide information thinking you are protecting me. If you want me by your side then we are equal, which means full disclosure."

"Absolutely, what else do you want to know? I know you have more questions," he said eagerly willing to comply. He was holding both her hands in his, using his thumbs to make circles in her palms. Both of them were holding their breaths. They were so close and the electricity between them was confounding. They were like magnets, always attracted and drawn to each other.

"I do but not today; not tonight," she said in a voice hinged with desire.

He moved in and caressed her face, "Livvy, I don't think I could ever let you go. It scares me to think of how much I need you," he said. He kissed her with what started as a simple peck. But then the spark ignited and they were both on fire. Whereas last night was slow and deliberate filled with patient reserve, this time, it was the exact opposite. This time there was a fever of need. It didn't take much for them both to be burning with passion. There was no time to retreat to the bedroom. It needed to happen right there, where they were.

They each went to work on each other's clothing and any stubborn buttons were popped and flying across the room. He removed her bra with skillful expertise. She barely knew it was gone, that is until she felt her nipples respond in the feel of grazing against his chest. They became even more sensitive as tight bulbs.

It was clumsy work as they stood up and went for each other's pants, pulling and tugging at each other until they were entirely naked. He hugged her close to him, getting lost in the feel of her body upon his. "Oh God Livvy, I love you so much," he whispered against her ear and she visibly shivered. He held her for several minutes, never wanting to lose the connection he had with her. The possibility of losing her just minutes ago created a hole of fear inside him and he needed to fill it. He needed to know that she would always be his and that whatever happened, nothing could break the love they had.

She pulled back and brought his head down for a kiss. Her kiss was fierce and demanding. She needed him to erase her fears and doubts. Their relationship was at a point of no return. There were too much involved, the stakes were too high for her to back out. And she couldn't even if she wanted to. She loved him too much to let him go; she wanted to be by his side; she wanted to help him to the end. She would follow him over a cliff, if need be.

He brought her back to the couch and straddled her on his lap. She slowly guided him inside her and the tightness caused her close her eyes in ecstasy. "Open your eyes", he said, "I want to see you." She forced her eyes open and took him fully inside. Her lips were swollen from kisses but they were begging to be assaulted again. He took her lip into his mouth and began to suck on it. They were staring in each other's eyes as they kissed and the intensity of seeing inside his soul was wildly erotic, Olivia had to hold on to his shoulders just to keep upright.

She began to move against him, slow at first, moving back until he was completely out and then sinking him back in. She was riding him at a pace that caused them both to moan in torturous pleasure. When she increased her pace, he closed his eyes, "Damn Livvy", was all he could get out. She pulled the back of his hair to force his eyes open again and when he opened them again she gave him a wicked smile to acknowledge the torture she was putting him through. He brought his hands up to massage her breasts, teasing her bulbs that had become harder in response to his touch. He saw her eyes darken and knew she was reaching her point of release. He brought his hand down between their bodies and began to stroke her to her climax; she cried out, "Fitz, please, I'm going to….I need to…"

"I know…..I know Livvy, come for me." And she did. He watched the glorious expressions on her face in her orgasm and he shuddered in his own release shortly thereafter.

XXXXXX

She wanted ice cream. So he brought blankets as they sat on the floor in the study eating ice cream. They refused to get dress and leave the house. Once she knew they could stay another full day in Santa Barbara before returning to their real lives, she decided to spend it indoors with him. She didn't know when they would ever get another chance to be like this. To pretend, that they were the only two people alive and nothing else mattered but them.

He sat with his back against the couch and she lay comfortably between his legs with her back against his chest. She alternated between spooning ice cream for her and feeding him. "If you couldn't be President, what would you want to be?" she asked him.

"Well you know I've only just wrapped my mind around the idea that I could be President. That was always Teddy's dream not mine. I would have been happy holding a seat in Congress. I would have even been happy serving in Teddy's administration."

"That would have been nice too," she said as they both fell into silence thinking about how life would have been different if Teddy were still alive.

"Do you think I would make a good President?" he asked.

She shifted until she could look in his eyes; the uncertainty she found there nearly broke her heart. It hurt her to see his lack of confidence. She didn't ever want him to doubt his ability to do whatever he wanted to. "I think you would make a_** great**_ President," she said, articulating each word for emphasis. She hoped he would get the point that she believed in him wholeheartedly. He did. He smiled, bent his head and kissed her nose.

She turned around and settled into her position. "So you talked to Adam's brother, Jeffrey?"

"Yeah, he wanted to talk to me about Mellie. Apparently, he is and has been in love with her for years. He claimed that his conscience was bothering him and he needed to come clean about their relationship."

"You don't believe him?"

"I believe him about the relationship. But I don't believe he told me out of guilt and a desire to clear his conscience…..Jeff and I have always had a unique relationship. We were always highly competitive growing up. We competed over everything – girls, grades, sports – and I usually won. I don't think he ever let go of that. I think he still thinks of himself as competing against me and his way of winning was getting Mellie. He was shocked to find that I didn't care about their relationship."

"What about the baby?"

"Yeah I vaguely remember you telling me in your drunken haze about the baby not being mine," he said laughing as she poked him in the side with her elbow.

"Did you tell him?"

"No, it wasn't my secret to tell. If Mellie wants him to know, she'll tell him….I don't worry about them, I have you and that's all that matters," he said as he tightened his hold around her.

She finished the ice cream and moved to stand up. His eyes traveled up and down her body and she could see, by his erection, that he had become aroused again. "You're leaving?" he asked.

"I feel like I need another shower and I want you to take it with me," she said as she held out her hand for him. He smiled and took it, willing to allow her to lead him anywhere.

XXXXXX

As they were leaving the house to go home, Olivia noticed that a security detail had appeared to escort them back. "Cyrus sent them. I let him know about the photos and he insisted," Fitz explained. She nodded in understanding. In truth, she was relieved to have the security especially because she didn't know the exact reason the photos were sent or whether someone was really trying to threaten them.

They drove back at a much faster pace, barely stopping in between. Fitz explained that they needed to get to a meeting at 8PM that night. Cyrus called the meeting and wanted Olivia there. She was happy that she was included but wondered what was so urgent that needed to be discussed now. She asked Fitz to describe Cyrus and after calling him a "pain in the ass" multiple times; he finally elaborated on the brilliant, political genius slash monster that was a true patriot devoted to his mother. Fitz explained that he only met him recently; his mother had chosen to keep Cyrus hidden from the family until now. To his knowledge, his father didn't even know about him.

They finally arrived to Cyrus' offices in downtown Sacramento. From the outside, it was an unimpressionable warehouse type building with no signage. It could have been a building used by anyone for anything. It was hidden in plain sight. She and Fitz went to the entrance of the building while security remained outside. They approached a secure door with a password keypad and she started to turn away as Fitz entered his code. He stopped her, "Livvy, you'll need to know my password just in case." She watched him enter the code and stored the number in her memory. She almost asked, _just in case of what? _but didn't.

There were no other people around as she walked with Fitz down a long corridor to a large meeting room. When they entered the room, Olivia was surprised to find her mother already there. Denise immediately got up from her seat and embraced Olivia in greeting, "Hi sweetheart, how are you?" she asked. Olivia could see her mother was worried about her safety and thought to reassure her. "I'm fine mom; Fitz took great care of me. Everything is fine."

Just then she heard Cyrus clear his throat. She looked up and saw him. She didn't know what she expected Cyrus to look like but it certainly was not this. He didn't at all look like the monster Fitz made him out to be. If anything he looked like someone's short, portly father or uncle. Olivia put on a smile and went to meet Cyrus with her hand stretched out for a handshake. "Hello Cyrus, my name is Olivia Pope. It is nice to finally meet you."

Cyrus didn't smile but he accepted her handshake. "Ms. Pope," was all he said to acknowledge her before turning to the rest of the group. Olivia wasn't put off; she just figured he was a no-nonsense person who recognized the importance of the meeting and did not want to waste any time. She found her seat between her mother and Fitz while Cyrus explained that Nattie was on the conference call.

"I've called this meeting because there has to be some changes. We cannot afford for what we are doing to come out in the open, which would put everyone's lives in danger. Fitz, your father has a suspicion that you could be working against him but nothing concrete to act on and we need to keep it that way but the more you give him ammunition to come for you the more dangerous all this is. We need you to be on your best behavior; for God's sake stop challenging him and definitely don't hit him again." Fitz didn't respond, he merely frowned at Cyrus' words.

"Which brings me to you two," he said as he pointed to Fitz and Olivia, "I don't know where the hell you got this idea that going away to Santa Barbara was safe but it needs to stop. You can't do this. If either of your mother's had told me beforehand what was going on I would have stopped it. You can't continue your relationship out in the open, like you've been doing. It has to end now."

Everyone, except Olivia, began to speak at the same time.

"No!" Fitz said loudly.

"Now wait Cyrus, maybe we can," Nattie was saying through the phone speaker.

"Cyrus, there has to be another way," Denise started.

Cyrus held his hand up for silence, which quieted everyone, including Nattie who heard the chaos of everyone speaking in defense of Fitz and Olivia.

"Look, I know you two kids are in love and all that but this is serious and I need you to get your heads in the game. They already started trailing you and taking photos of you both together. Jake was on his way to Santa Barbara before Denise stopped him."

Fitz and Olivia turned in their chairs to look at Denise. "What did you do?" Olivia asked.

Denise smiled and patted Olivia's hand, "I took care of it. I handled it," was all she would say before turning her attention back to Cyrus. Olivia stared at her longer but realized her mother would say no more on the subject.

"You need to realize that the more Fitz shows them that he is going against their plan for him the more likely they will eliminate him as a possibility," Cyrus said plainly and silence filled the room. "I'm trying to save your lives; I'm trying to save the future of this country but I need you to stop working against me…..I'm not saying you have to stop being together. It just cannot be open for the world to see. It will have to be a secret. You'll both be going back to school in a couple of days, so that's good. When or if you feel the need to see each other during the school year, I need you to clear it through me so that I can make sure the right people are in place to protect you."

"No", Fitz yelled as he stood up quickly causing his chair to topple backward. "I'm not hiding her. I'm not hiding my relationship with Livvy. You will need to find another way around this because she won't be a secret. We will see each other when we choose and how we choose and you will find a way to make that happen." Fitz was walking upon Cyrus in a way that made the older man take several steps back. He knew Fitz had a temper but it had never been turned on him.

Denise stood up and began talking at the same time Nattie began talking both trying to defend their children's relationship but also trying to work out the logistics of how they could continue seeing each other without the added danger. Fitz, upon seeing the fear in Cyrus eyes, retreated and put his hands in his pockets. He turned his back on the group and remained silent. Cyrus began defending himself. Olivia sat there as chaos erupted around her. She could only see Fitz back but could tell when his shoulders began to slump in defeat.

"Can we have the room?" she stood up and asked but the group didn't hear her and therefore, made no move to stop their conversation.

She raised her voice louder, "Can we have the room?" This time everyone, including Fitz turned look at her. She kept her eyes on Fitz. There was silence, until Cyrus responded, "Of course". He took his phone that had Nattie on the line and exited the room with Denise close behind.

Olivia walked up to Fitz until she was standing directly in front of him. "Tell me," was all she said.

"Livvy, I'm tired of this shit. They control my life enough already and now they want me to check in them whenever I want to see you, like I'm some damn kid. There has to be another way around this, Cyrus just hasn't thought of a plan but he will, if I push him enough to do it."

"What are you afraid of?"

He stared down at her and immediately felt a calm wash over him. She always had that affect on him. Whenever he was agitated or angered, she gave him peace. It was one of the reasons why he felt so connected to her and why he needed to keep her close to him.

"I don't like it. I don't like the fact that I can't take you out on a date if I want to or just go on a walk somewhere. I don't like feeling like I'm disconnected from you, like I could…I could lose you."

She stepped closer to him. She figured that he was thinking that somehow she would stop loving him and their relationship would be lost. She took both his hands out of his pockets and held them in hers. "I love you Fitz and that's never going to change. It doesn't matter what the world sees or doesn't see you and I know that our love is real and that we are committed to each other. Besides, this thing will be over soon and then we can announce it to the world, take out a newspaper ad if you like," she said smiling. He smiled back at her before taking her into a warm embrace.

"Promise me Livvy," he said with a voice full of emotion.

"I promise."

XXXXXXX

Olivia was happy. It felt good to be alone with Fitz for an extended period of time. Sneaking around had its perks; it made her feel naughty and translated into frenzied, mind-blowing sexual encounters but to spend an entire week with him was something they both desperately needed. Not being able to see each other as they would like added tension to their relationship, which sometimes exploded into silly arguments and foolish jealousies. She remembered a recent argument they had on the secure phones that Cyrus insisted they use when they wanted to talk. It started off fine but when she began to talk about her study group partner, Tyson, Fitz snapped; he had heard his name too many times before.

"_Why are you always talking about Tyson?" he said in irritation._

_She thought he was joking, "Don't tell me you're jealous."_

"_Should I be? I don't know, we barely get to talk and when we do, you're filling my ear with this Tyson dude, what am I supposed to think?" his voice was elevating. _

"_You need to calm down Fitz. This is a ridiculous conversation. I'm not cheating on you."_

"_Maybe not now but you're obviously attracted to this guy," he charged. _

_Tyson was attractive but Olivia barely noticed. When he tried to flirt with her, she shot him down immediately, stating that she was in a committed relationship. He respected that and has not crossed the line ever since. She merely thought of him as a friend. _

"_Oh please Fitz. I thought you trusted me. You think me that weak that the moment you're out of my sight, I'll go chasing after another man. I wouldn't do that. I'm not like that."_

_He was silent. _

"_I trust you Fitz. You don't think it weighs on my mind to know you're up there with Mellie and all those other beautiful women who I know are attracted to you. I can't do anything about it but I trust you because I know you. I know the type of man you are."_

_He exhaled into the phone. "Yeah okay Livvy, I've got to go now. I'm late for class. I'll call you later." He disconnected the call. _

She hated when they argued; it always left nervous feeling in her stomach. The feeling would stay with her until they made up, which they always did, but it would still worry her nonetheless.

She vowed that there would be no arguments this week. They were off for Spring Break and they were spending time with her father. She thought it would be good for Fitz and her father to get to know each other. Her father was skeptical of their relationship because of his feelings for Gerry but Olivia explained that she knew about the affair and that Fitz was nothing like his father. Fitz was trying very hard to win over her father and she could tell after a couple of days, their conversations were less tense and more open, even comfortable. It was Fitz' idea that they cook dinner for her father this Friday night before taking him to see the movie he had been talking about all week.

In between all the kissing and touching, they were actually getting the meal done. Fitz insisted on taking the lead and would only allow Olivia to assist him certain areas. Olivia didn't mind, she thought Fitz looked sexy in the apron skillfully navigating through the kitchen. She loved his domestic side; it made him seem like a regular person. It was normal. And it almost allowed her to forget the other life they had where everything was far from normal.

She was taken out of her thoughts by the ringing of the house phone. "Pope Residence," she answered.

"Olivia Pope?" the female caller asked.

"Yes this is she, who's calling?"

"Olivia, my name is Judy; I'm one of the resident nurses at the hospital where your father worked. I'm sorry to be the one to call you. The police asked me to contact you. I'm really very, very sorry but…your father is dead. He was killed in a carjacking incident at the hospital."


	18. Requiem

**(Hello readers, CAUTION: this is the saddest chapter I have ever written. I cried when I re-read it. But please be assured OLITZ is always, always my ENDGAME – good things just take time****)**

**Requiem**

Fitz always believed that whatever mistakes he made in life, anything could be rectified, fixed or resolved. It would just require diligence and hard work. But not this time. There was no amount of effort on his part that could fix what he had done. He had gambled and lost. He foolishly played with their lives, thinking that he had it all under control. He failed at the one thing he promised her he would do – take care of her, protect her. In frustration, he ignored the protocol Cyrus set up for them. He didn't alert Cyrus to the trip and therefore, did not give him an opportunity to make the preparations needed to ensure their safety. And now her father was dead.

He heard her drop the phone and immediately rushed to her side. She could barely speak; her voice was choked with sorrow. He picked up the phone and tried to get information from whoever called but they had already disconnected the line. It took several minutes for him to coax her into telling him what was going on. When she did, she insisted that he take her to the crime scene. She demanded it and he conceded.

The entire ride to the hospital he was hoping, praying, wishing, that her father's murder was a random accident; a tragic incident that was completely unexpected. But he knew it wasn't. He knew why it happened and although he did not personally kill him; he was responsible for it. He felt a poignant sense of dread and remorse.

Fitz found the officer in charge and introduced himself and Olivia. The officer was shocked to find Olivia there already, since no one had called her yet but he quickly recovered to ask her several questions about her father's movements for the day. Olivia responded to his questions in a clear, calm voice. She was not hysterical or overwhelmingly distraught. Fitz was amazed at her composure but he knew the sadness was there; her sorrow was bubbling beneath the surface but she wasn't ready for the world to see it.

While she was talking, Fitz phone began to ring. The caller ID indicated that it was Denise. Fitz stepped away and took the call.

"Denise."

"Fitz, I know what's going on and I'm coming. I'll be there tomorrow."

"How do you already know? It just happened," Fitz asked.

"I will tell you later. Just know that I have two of my associates coming to work the scene. They aren't law enforcement but they can investigate the incident. They're names are Harrison Wright and David Rosen. I'm telling you this because they will need to come to the house and take a look at Julius' office, go through his papers and computer. I can explain more when I'm there but I just needed to prepare you," she was speaking in a hurried, rushed pace.

"So this wasn't random?" it was a question and a statement.

Denise sighed and slowed down. "It wasn't, I'm sorry Fitz….You didn't...You didn't tell Cyrus about spending the week with Livvy. He couldn't take the precautions."

Fitz was silent for several minutes, "I messed up Denise….I messed this up so bad and now her dad's dead…..FUCK!" he cursed so loud that it drew Olivia's attention to him. She gave him a curious look before turning her attention back to the officer interviewing her.

"Fitz calm down. I don't know if we could have prevented this from happening. I won't know more until I get there. Try to keep it together for Livvy's sake. She needs you. I'll get there as soon as I can."

"Ok, alright. I'll let Livvy know you're coming. Thanks, Denise," Fitz sighed as he disconnected the call. He looked at Olivia, now standing alone next to the caution tape. She was staring down at the white sheet that obviously covered her father's dead body. The coroner had not yet arrived to take the body away. He knew that this would be the moment in time that would change everything about their relationship. They had been through trying times and obstacles before but nothing like this; nothing this drastic. He wondered if they would recover. Could she forgive him? Would she understand that he never meant for any of this to happen?

He hung his head low as he walked over and embraced her. Silent tears were now falling down her cheeks. She took in his embrace and wrapped her arms around him; thankful for his support. He was thankful too. He knew it wouldn't take long for her to realize the reason why her father was killed. And once she found out, she might not let him hold her again.

XXXXXX

Olivia was in a fog of misery. It wasn't just sadness at her father's death; it was guilt. She didn't need Fitz or anyone else to tell her that this was not an accident. The timing of it; the execution of the murder was not a coincidence. She knew it was planned and staged to appear random. The nurse named Judy, who called her, was nowhere to be found. She later learned that the police interviewed the hospital staff and no one knew who she was. Why did she call Olivia? Who was she? Was she involved in her father's murder?

Every time she looked at Fitz she felt guilty. She could sense the sadness he was feeling but she could make no move to comfort him. She couldn't bring herself to allow him to comfort her either. She preferred not to be touched at all. She only allowed him to hold her the first night when they returned from the crime scene but after that she closed herself off in her room. She wanted to sit in darkness and be alone. The guilt she felt over pursuing the relationship with Fitz despite the risk was weighing heavily on her. Their love was not worth her father's life but she had effectively traded one for the other. And now she didn't see how she could continue to loving him knowing the price that had been paid.

She was aware that her mother had come. Her mother tried to get Olivia to come out of her room; to eat something but Olivia's silence indicated her refusal. For an entire day, Olivia ate nothing. She mourned in her room alone; crying as much as she needed; praying for forgiveness over her foolish decisions. Summoning the courage to face the world again and continue living.

The next day, she gathered herself together and fixed her appearance before immerging from her room. She could smell the food cooking in the kitchen and her stomach reminded her that it had been a long time since she had eaten. When she entered the kitchen, she saw Denise finishing the meal and Fitz was sitting at the breakfast table with his head in his hands.

"Good Morning," Olivia announced to the room.

Both Fitz and Denise looked up at her in surprise. She tried to manage a small smile for their benefit but it was not forthcoming. Fitz looked horrible; like he had not slept. His hair was disheveled and he had not shaved. "Livvy," he said but he made no move to go to her. He was afraid that she would reject him.

Olivia sat down opposite of Fitz and asked, "Where are we?" The question was more directed to her mother whom she knew would have the most answers.

Denise sighed. "We will talk over breakfast. Harrison and David will be here by then and they can tell us more of what is going on…I'm glad you came down, you need to eat."

Olivia nodded and stole a side glance to Fitz but said nothing to him. He sighed and stood up, "I'm glad you've come down Livvy. I'm going to change before they get here." He left the room with his head hung low.

When he was out of earshot, Denise asked, "You blame him don't you?"

"I blame both of us. We were stupid."

"Be careful Livvy, guilt can eat a person alive….Fitz blames himself for all of it and he's miserable. You know, you could try…..try to heal together. Isolating yourself from the people who love you is not the answer."

Olivia remained silent.

"How did you find out so quickly?" Olivia asked, deliberately changing the subject.

Denise turned off the fire from the food on the stove. "He called me, your father called me not long after you got here. He asked me if I knew you were bringing Fitz, which I did not," she paused before continuing.

"When I found out, I contacted Cyrus and we moved quickly to try to see if there was any blowback from your trip. I tried to get Huck on the surveillance feeds around the house and the hospital but it was too slow in coming. He was checking the police scanners and when the call came through, I knew it was Julius."

She sighed heavily and sat down with Olivia. Olivia could see the sorrow on her mother's face. She had not considered how much her mother could be hurting from her father's death. She bore her pain in silence. Denise had learned to the beauty of compartmentalization – she could bury the emotions that only served to limit her ability to function. It was only in her quiet moments of solitude that she would allow herself to release the emotions she hindered.

"For years I regretted exposing you to the Grant family….the things you have seen, the things you have experienced…..I never wanted that for you. I wanted a different life; a less complicated one. But it was not to be. And here we are," Denise said with a smile that had no humor in it whatsoever.

"Livvy, what I'm going to say to you may sound harsh or be hard for you to hear but…Don't mistake me, I am so sorry about your father and I would give anything for you not to have to go through this but I need you wake up…..We are trying our hardest to keep you safe. But you need to understand you are not regular people who easily fall in love and live happily ever after. That fantasy works for most people but not for you two. If you want this you will have to fight for it and you will make sacrifices for it….Fitz has made sacrifices and he continues to do so. Now it's your turn."

This was not the time for soft, soothing speeches or expressions of condolences. Denise needed Olivia to wake up from her cloud of ignorance and recognize the world she lived in. If she didn't, things would continue to get worse for her.

XXXXXX

Harrison Wright and David Rosen worked out of an affiliate office of her mother's firm. Although judging from the work they did, it seemed more like they worked for Denise personally, not the firm. While Harrison talked fast with witty remarks and quick comebacks, David was more quiet and meticulous, weighing his words carefully. They were both attorneys but they did not practice law in the traditional sense, unless absolutely necessary. They worked out of DC and many of the clients were politicians who needed quick assistance to fix problems that had the potential of damaging their careers. Quinn and Huck remained on the West Coast with Denise but they often communicated remotely, to collaborate on cases and brainstorm on the best course of action.

Denise instructed them to update the group with their findings and after explaining that as expected the police believed it to be a random carjacking incident, Harrison rattled off, "Julius Pope, top of his field as a medical surgeon. Lives alone; works all hours, - no lunches, no breaks; no girlfriends; no one night stands; no grudges against him from the medical staff; no hidden lifestyle. Pretty much led a conservative, quiet life same routine every day."

David took over, "Until Friday, he went to work as scheduled but told the nursing staff he needed a couple of hours away for a lunch meeting. It was unusual to them because he never takes breaks. He works all day until it's time to go home. Huck was able to track his movements and he went to a coffee shop on 9th and sat on the patio waiting for this person to arrive."

David took out photos and laid them on the table for everyone to see. Olivia gasped when she saw her father meeting with Mellie's father, Joseph. She shot a cold look at Fitz who stared back at her.

"So I take it everyone knows Joseph Andrews. Well we took the information Denise gave us about the group he works for, calls themselves the Phoenix, you know like the bird rising from the ashes," he said as he looked around to make sure everyone was following along. He started moving his arms in a ridiculous gesture to imitate the flapping of a bird's wings. After hearing the faint sound of Harrison's snickering and realizing what he was doing, he cleared his throat and continued.

"We don't have audio of their conversation but we went through Julius' phone logs and for any calls to or from the California area. Of course Joseph has an untraceable phone number but judging from the time frame of this meeting, we were able to determine which calls were possibly to or from Joseph. They appeared to talk a lot in the past several months all of a sudden."

"Any idea on what could have changed to make them start talking?" Harrison asked.

Olivia and Fitz shared a look. "We started dating," Fitz said in a sad voice.

The room was quiet until Denise cleared her throat. "So are you saying Julius worked for the group too? Why did they want him killed?"

"This is where we get into speculation. We don't believe he actually worked for the group per se. But he knew of their existence and was considered a friend to them. So they could call on him when they needed. What they needed him to do and whether they killed him because he did or did not go with their plan, we just don't know. It will take some time to get that type of information, if it's even possible," David said.

"What about surveillance photos of the area?" Denise asked.

"Erased. But Huck is working on some type of recovery," Harrison said.

Fitz got up from his chair and said, "Excuse me, I need to make a phone call," as he left the room.

Olivia sat looking at the photos, baffled at the idea that her father would even be associated with a group like this. That was not the father she knew; he wouldn't approve of people like this. Scenes of her father during her childhood flashed across her mind. Her father was nothing like the ruthless men in this group – he was loving, kind, gentle, and honest. There had to have been some mistake. Could it be possible that his acquaintance with Joseph was due to some unrelated circumstance? But what would that be? Once again, like cold water splashed on her face, she felt like Alice in Wonderland coming out of the rabbits hole of what she thought her life was only to find out reality was so much more different and ugly.

"Okay, take his laptop and search the files for any additional information. Huck is waiting for your call if you need his assistance and track down this Judy person who called Olivia. No one seems to know who she is or why she called," Denise said.

Harrison and David exchanged a look. Denise recognized the look and asked, "What?!"

Harrison spoke up, "Huck recognized the voice from the phone call that this Judy person made to Olivia. He believes he knows her. He thinks she may have called as a taunt. He believes….she is the hired assassin."

"Which means…" David started.

"That you will never find her….she's ghost," Olivia chimed in. She at least recognized that much. Her father's killer had virtually disappeared into thin air.

After a stretch of silence, Harrison and David retrieved laptop and paperwork from Julius' office and left.

"You know….I would appreciate if once, just once, I could find out about who my parents really are from their own mouths. No disrespect mom, but to keep finding out about you at the mouths of other people is getting old. Who really were you two?" Olivia asked her mother in a mocking tone, "Because you were definitely not the parents I grew up knowing. I don't really know who my parents are."

"We are the same people who raised you and loved you Livvy. We just had separate lives that had nothing to do with you."

"Well it looks like we are all paying the price for your 'separate lives' now." Olivia left the room and ran into Fitz.

"Are you okay?" he asked and moved in to touch her but she flinched back from him. She just shrugged in response to his question.

He stared at her but she looked away. "If you come with me I think we can talk to someone who can give us some answers."

XXXXXX

"Yes, hello, we would like to see Captain Jake Ballard," Fitz told the receptionist.

"Is he expecting you?"

"No but if you could tell him Olivia Pope is here to see him, I'm sure he will make room in his schedule," Fitz said with that charming smile that usually melted women and got them to pretty much do whatever he wanted. And this was no exception.

After hanging up the phone, the receptionist asked them to wait because Jake was on his way out.

"If you want to talk to him alone I understand," Fitz offered.

Olivia looked at him. She knew how much he wanted to help; he wanted to make this right for her. And she wanted to meet him halfway. She knew he never intended for any of this to happen. He only wanted to love her. She tried to stifle the guilt and regret she felt; to move past it but it would just take time.

"It's okay. You can come. Just don't lose your temper if he doesn't cooperate," she said with a small smile.

It was the first smile she had given him and he smiled in return. "I promise," he said.

Jake was surprised to see both of them there but knew immediately what the purpose of their visit was. They couldn't talk in his office. He took them through the basement tunnels to an offshoot building with very limited surveillance footage. For some reason, the government didn't want this section of the building to be filmed.

"I'm sorry about your father," he said in genuine remorse to Olivia, "he was a good man."

"Thank you," Olivia said as she noticed the residual scars on his face and hands. They had healed but were still noticeable. He had been injured in some way but she did not inquire about it.

"So you two are still together?" he asked with a smile and then sighed, "Well thankfully my assignment ended with my accident. So I don't have to worry about it. But I am replaceable…..So what do you want to know?"

"Phoenix?" Fitz asked.

"Yes, true…They don't want you two together. Fitz was all set to go with the plan until he fell for you. Gerry tried everything he could to get you to change your mind, nothing worked. He couldn't break you up. When they realized you were going to stay together, they had no further use for Fitz. Gerry was fighting it; after all you are his last son. I was brought in to see how much information Fitz had; how much he uncovered from Teddy's work. I told Gerry that I suspected you were feeding information to the Justice Department. But when the group found out that Gerry did basically nothing to stop you his life was now on the line but it would be risky because he is a public figure. They found out about you visiting Julius and Joseph reached out to him. I don't know what Joseph asked Julius to do. I am not 100% certain but Joseph is rash and doesn't think so it is possible that he instructed him to eliminate Fitz but he refused. Well unfortunately, this is not the group to refuse to do anything for, so if that is the case then they would have had him eliminated….I'm sure they feel that they've scared you enough. They may just leave Fitz alone but I don't know for sure."

Olivia couldn't stop the steady flow of tears coming down her face. Her father, whatever he had done, whoever he was, had risked his life to save Fitz. He knew how much Olivia loved Fitz and refused to be the one to cause his daughter pain. He had made the ultimate sacrifice for her and Fitz. The guilt was returning upon her in full force. She remembered the talk she had with him the day after she and Fitz arrived at the house.

"_Are you sure this is what you want Livvy? You know what their family is like," her father had asked. _

"_I'm sure dad. He is nothing like Gerry. Nothing at all. I love him completely. I've loved him for a long time. He's what I want; he makes me happy," Olivia said. Her father watched her eyes carefully and she thought she saw a sadness come upon his face but dismissed it as natural parent-child-growing-up-too-soon nostalgia. _

"_Then baby, I want you to be happy. I can see that Fitz loves you and he will take care of you. He's a good man," her father said as he kissed her cheek and hugged her to him._

Now thinking back on that conversation, Olivia wondered if her father had already known what was going to happen. "Why are you helping us?" she now asked in a bare whisper.

"I like you Olivia. No matter what you may believe, I never wanted to harm you or Fitz. I was acting under orders but I never thought it would hurt you like this. I'm sorry."

"So what do we do now?" Olivia asked.

"I can't help you take this group down. But you're very close. My suggestion is to take what you have to the media, put the Governor's family, including Fitz in front of the camera. Make the Governor cooperate in the investigation and have justice grant him immunity. The more visible you are the safer you will be. Once you get the wheels turning, maybe you'll be free of all this."

Fitz and Olivia were silent; taking in all the information he provided.

"You need to understand that the group will have some patsy take the fall but it doesn't mean that they will be completely dissolved. Groups like these, when they take a hit, they just morph into something else and re-immerge at another time."

They were headed back to the car, when Fitz stopped causing her to stop too. "I know you're angry with me," he said.

"I want to thank you for arranging for me to meet with him. I appreciate what you have done. But everything else….I can't talk about it now Fitz. It hurts too much to talk about it now. Can you give me some time please?"

"I'll give you all the time you need Livvy, I love you. I just want you to know that I am sorry….so sorry….for everything; for bringing you in this life, for not taking the proper precautions to keep you and your father safe, for making your father risk his life for mine. You have no idea how sorry I am."

She said nothing and couldn't look him in the eye. They resumed walking to the car.

XXXXXX

The funeral service for Julius Anthony Pope had been scheduled and all the preparations were handled by Denise. When Olivia found out that some distant cousin who her father barely knew offered to give the eulogy, since there were no closer relatives, she insisted that she would do it herself. She couldn't have someone speak about her father that barely knew him. She spent hours in his office, looking through old family albums, reading the papers in his office, skimming through the books he collected, the memorabilia from his college years just to feel closer to him and gather the energy to write the eulogy.

The day of the service she came downstairs to find everyone waiting for her. She looked over at Fitz, who stood off to the corner and the sadness she saw nearly crippled her. She wanted so badly to run to him so they could comfort each other but she couldn't make her feet take the steps. It had been like that all week. She would feel like she was ready to let him in again but just when she was at that point something would make her freeze. He knew it too. He was being patient, giving her the time he promised. Both of them had arranged to take an extra week off from school due to the family tragedy but they were set to go back the following week. Denise had offered to make arrangements for Olivia to take more time off but she wouldn't let her; Olivia felt that she needed a comfortable familiar routine to occupy her mind and school provided the necessary distraction.

Olivia allowed Fitz to give her support by holding her hand as they walked into the church and putting his arm around her as they sat and listened to the pastor speak. When it was her turn to deliver the eulogy, Fitz gave her hand a squeeze for encouragement and a small kiss on the cheek. It was the closest she had allowed him to come to her.

She took a deep breath and in a confident, firm voice she began the speech about her deceased father, "My father has always been my hero. But even in his final hours he had become a hero to many other people…."

The gravesite was the first time Olivia had a chance to see how many people had come to pay their respects to her father. She was surprised to see Joseph, Mellie and Gerry present. Nattie, she knew couldn't fly out and had already called her mother to express her condolences. She peered at them behind her dark glasses and wished she had never met any of them. Was she now expected to pretend that Joseph and possibly Gerry didn't have a hand in her father's murder? Was she expected to be cordial and hospitable to them when all she wanted to do was stab them both in their black hearts? She hoped that she would never see them again after this day.

Several people returned to the house for the repast and to give comfort to Olivia but she was having none of it. She wasn't sure she could control her emotions and if the wrong person attempted to give her condolences, she might just lash out. She retreated into her father's office to get some solitude and avoid the influx of people. She knew some of them meant well but she couldn't pretend that their presence did anything to ease her pain. Fitz offered to sit with her but she didn't want him either. It amazed her how the love she longed for all these years was the same love that now choked and suffocated her.

Mellie found Fitz standing outside, staring off at nothing in particular. When she greeted him, he jumped, startled by her presence.

"Mellie, I didn't expect you to be here," he said before turning his back to her again.

"I wanted to express my condolences to Olivia. I'm really very sorry about her father."

"Why is your father here?" Fitz asked with no attempt to hide the disdain in his voice.

"Daddy? Oh he was already on the east coast and when I told him what happened, he wanted to meet me here."

Fitz just grunted in response.

"I wanted to speak to Olivia. Do you know where she is?"

"She wanted to be alone," was all he said.

"I see…..well maybe you can tell her on my behalf."

"Sure, no problem."

There was a period of silence and Fitz thought she had left until she spoke again, "You know Fitz, I'm not your enemy. We are actually more alike than you think….Despite our upbringing we both want to be in love and be happy. You just realized it a lot sooner than I did," she sighed heavily. "I thought I could live in a pretend world of a loveless marriage but I can't. I want something better for myself, just like you. I'm sorry for all the deceit, lies and manipulation and I'm sorry about Teddy. I hope one day you can really forgive me."

He turned around and looked at her. She had changed for the better. And he really wished she would find the happiness she wanted. "I forgive you Mellie and I wish you the best."

She gave him a slight smile, turned and went back inside the house.

Fitz didn't go back in until everyone left. He never spoke to his father or Joseph. He wished he could have them both arrested and taken off to prison but he couldn't, at least not yet. He certainly had enough hatred for them both to last a lifetime. And his father must have picked upon it because he knew Fitz' temper well enough to discern when it was time to steer clear of him.

XXXXXX

"I know that we need to talk," Olivia said as she approached Fitz. Everyone had gone and her mother already retired for the evening.

Fitz didn't hear her walk up on him; he was dazed and lost in his own thoughts. He was so exhausted from his own emotions that he could barely stand when she came in the room.

She came and sat across from him. She took his hand in hers and smiled.

"It's been a tough week," she said lightly but he could only give her a slight smile. "You have been patient, sticking by me, trying to comfort and support me and I appreciate it but…..I need a break."

When Fitz tried to pull his hand away, she gripped it tighter and continued, "I'm not saying forever but I need some time to get my head right. I know you love me, I do. And I love you too, with my whole heart. But every time I look at you I feel this overwhelming guilt and sadness. I'm reminded that if we weren't together my father would be alive and that hurts. I've tried to move past it. I keep telling myself, you never intended for any of this to happen and in my head I know it's true but my heart hasn't accepted it yet. I don't want to blame you for my father's death. My father made a choice and I'm sure he knew the consequences of his decision. But he made the choice for us and while I'm thankful to have you; I'm heartbroken that I sacrificed my father to keep you."

Tears were filling his grey eyes and she began to cry too. "Every day I could feel you pulling further and further away from me and I couldn't stop it. I knew it was my fault and I had to take the blame for it. I have never; ever wanted to cause you pain Livvy. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you; making you happy. But it seems that loving me has only brought you pain and I'm sorry for it. Take whatever time you need; I'll wait for you."

He stood up and said, "I'm leaving in the morning. I'll be going back to school. If you need anything at all, please let me know. I love you Livvy."

She stood up and moved closer to him, "I love you Fitz." She brought his face down to hers and kissed him fiercely. She deepened the kiss the way they both liked it. It had been too long since they connected with each other and there was desperation on both their parts to remember what it felt like, neither knowing when they would be like this again. She broke away and stared in his eyes, "Goodbye Fitz."

"Goodbye Livvy."

XXXXXX

True to his word, Fitz was gone the next day. Olivia had spent the entire night crying uncontrollably. Several times she almost went to Fitz' room, she desperately wanted to feel his arms around her, but each time she stopped herself and it made her cry even harder. She eventually cried herself to sleep and now her red, swollen eyes were evidence of the night she spent.

On the nightstand next to her bed, she found a box with a letter next to it. It was in Fitz handwriting. He must have come into her room and left it for her sometime before she had awaken. When she opened the box, she gasped to find the beautiful princess-cut diamond ring inside. She stared at it for several minutes, watching it catch the morning sunlight; it was breathtakingly beautiful. She opened the letter and read:

_Livvy,_

_It was my plan to give you this promise ring in person but with everything that has happened I knew it wasn't the right time. I almost kept it with me but I couldn't. I hope you will wear it to remind you that my love for you will never fade. My heart will always be promised to you. _

_Love, _

_Fitz_

Olivia read and re-read the letter. She refolded it, careful to put it away. She placed the ring on her index finger. It was a perfect fit.

XXXXXXX

"It's almost over," Cyrus said in a cheerful voice, hoping to lift their spirit. Their pitiful faces were starting to depress him. He sighed when he didn't get the desired response.

"Well I'm glad the information my team provided was helpful. Please let us know if you need anything further," Denise said.

"I'm sure the Governor will need you to help broker his immunity deal. You know as his Chief Counsel you should be present to make sure everything is outlined correctly. Most importantly any record of his involvement will have to be sealed or preferably destroyed. We cannot have this come up at a later time."

She sighed loudly, "Yes I know." She was so sick of Gerry she could scream. She partially wanted him to be thrown to the wolves and torn to pieces but hurting him would mean hurting Fitz and she could never do that.

"So are we done here, I need to get back," Fitz said in irritation as he stood from his seat.

"Yes, but as you know the Press Conference is coming," Cyrus reminded him, "And you will need to be there for appearances sake."

"Yeah I got it."

When they went to exit, Denise pulled Fitz to the side, "Have you talked to her?"

Fitz cold grey eyes betrayed his emotions. "No, she won't talk to me….It's been months and I can't get through to her…..I'm at a lost, I don't know what else to do."

Denise heart broke for Fitz. He loved Olivia so deeply and to be completely cut off from her was torture for him. She didn't know how long he could stand it.

"She's not coming to California for the summer. She's decided to volunteer on the campaign trail of a Presidential candidate….I didn't know if she told you or not."

"She didn't. But I guess that seals it then right….She's done," Fitz said as he inhaled to prevent the tears that threaten to spill.

"I'm sorry Fitz, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah so am I," he said as he walked away.

XXXXXX

"Governor, it's time."

Gerry had been cornered. He had been forced into an impossible position. It was either help the Justice Department in their prosecution of Joseph Andrews or risk ruining his own reputation and damaging his family's future. It was a dangerous deal because he could never be sure that that group wouldn't retaliate against him at some future date but it was a risk he had to take. They promised to keep his administration's clean record and make it appear that the Governor's office in general was seeking justice for rumors of election rigging and tampering with votes. His administration would come out looking heroic; taking on big business who was trying to corrupt the 'pure' American voting system. No mention would be made of his own duplicity, especially in rigging his elections.

As far as he knew the group was satisfied with Joseph being the sacrificial lamb. They broke all ties with him and hung him out to dry. All of sudden it was found that Joseph had been lobbying for several propositions and initiatives that would benefit his company for years to come and rigging the votes would guarantee things to go his way. Gerry had no idea where that information came from but it didn't matter to him as long as it stuck in a court of law. Of course there was no way to tie Joseph to Julius' Pope's murder but he could deal with that. He didn't approve of the killing anyway. Gerry was many things but he was not a murderer. He would just have to deal with his conscience that plagued him over the murder but in time it would lessen; with all the other things he had done, his conscience was already full of recriminations.

It was time to give the press conference with the US Attorney's office. He would be shown as a staunch supporter of the Justice system just in time to make sure that his son could have a clean future in politics, if such a thing was possible. He had even gotten both Nattie and Fitz to stand by his side as he made the speech. They agreed to stifle the disgust they felt for him temporarily, just to get through the conference.

He looked up at Denise, who had entered his office to alert him to the time. There was no mistaking the hatred she felt for him now. He had managed to ruin her family – both her daughter and her ex-husband. It no longer mattered who was really at fault for anything; she laid everything at his doorstep. She agreed to maintain their professional relationship until his term ended, which was close in coming, but many of their communications were made via third parties and assistants. She rarely saw him face-to-face. Today was special only because she wanted to make sure the deal she helped facilitate for him would proceed smoothly.

"Yes, of course."

She left the office, not waiting for him to follow behind.

Gerry felt a sudden glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, if he could keep the cover up of his own involvement completely hidden, then helping the US Attorney pursue this case and win could be the perfect springboard for his Senate run. He would be known as the politician who took on big business and won….He was already going over his plans as he walked out of his office.

XXXXXX

Olivia sat in her dorm watching the news feed on television. It was a special news event to watch the Governor of California and the US Attorney's Office on television announcing their investigation into election rigging. She watched as the Governor made his speech with confidence and poise; careful in the details he provided to satisfy the questions without divulging too much information. For Fitz' sake she was happy that they were able to get the deal that would not leave his family tarnished. He didn't deserve that. He deserved to have a clean future, full of hope and promise.

She watched as the camera panned out and gave a wider view of the Governor's family. Fitz looked tired and worn down. To the outside world, he looked extremely handsome as always but as he stood there holding his mother's hand, it was evident to Olivia that his grey eyes betrayed his sadness. She felt the loss of their future together and she wished she could make it better for them. But the time she asked him for had not been kind. It had created a distance and rift between them. And she felt it was too far gone to repair now.

She tried to put him out of her mind when she spent the summer volunteering presidential election campaign of Governor Richardson. She wanted to get an in-depth view of the inside workings of the campaign trail. She enjoyed the work and she learned a lot but she was lonely. She established friendships with the other workers but she was careful to keep a cool distance with them. She never invited them into her private sanctuary. The campaign manager praised her on her tenacity and outstanding work-ethic but he had no idea that Olivia had to work to keep her mind clear. When she stopped moving at a fast pace, if she slowed down for a bit, sorrow would engulf her and the tears would fall uncontrollably.

She felt especially heartsick when she saw the Governor and his wife interact. There was no pretenses, no falsities – they were truly in love with each other. It was easy to see how much he loved having his wife by his side. She was his equal in everything; he sought her opinion in everything and valued every opinion, comment and suggestion she had. Olivia would stand at the sidelines, barely noticeable, and watch them closely. She supposed that she and Fitz could have had that type of relationship. She could have been by his side as he reached his political goals and she had no doubt that he would treat her with the same tender affection and upmost respect.

But every time she tried to envision a future with him, a fear of what other catastrophe awaited them loomed over her. What if she was a hindrance to his political goals? What if their interracial relationship offended his party and constituents? Would he grow to resent her for holding him back? Would she resent him for giving up her future; relinquishing her goals to promote his?

Their love had become a burden to her. She kept Fitz in limbo while she decided what to do and that was unfair. But she couldn't find the words to tell him to move on knowing that it would break her to see him with someone else. She wanted him but she was scared to love him. She hated how she was treating him; she virtually cut him off and ignored him. She knew he had assumed her volunteering was a method to avoid him but she couldn't help it. She didn't know her own mind. She thought time and distance would bring clarity but it did not. It made her more miserable. She couldn't move forward and it hurt too much to look back.

"Can I sit here with you?" Mrs. Richardson asked.

Olivia was surprised to look up and find the Governor's wife requesting to sit with her. There were so many staffers and volunteers, Olivia couldn't believe that she even knew of her existence. The pancake breakfast fundraiser was coming to a close and it was almost time to return to the campaign headquarters.

"Of course, please do."

"It's Olivia right?" she said as she sat across from her at the table.

"Yes."

She smiled. "I know you didn't think I would know who you are but I've been watching you. You are not like the other kids here. Most of them goof around too much and don't take these things seriously. But that's not you. You're a hard worker and you have a genuine interest in politics. That's commendable and I want to thank you for helping in my husband's campaign."

Olivia blushed under the praise. "Thank you Mrs. Richardson."

She watched her for a moment and then asked, "So who's the guy?"

Olivia lifted her head, startled by the question.

"You are the saddest person on this trail Olivia. Don't get me wrong you try to hide it well but I can see your sadness. And for a pretty girl like you, my guess is it would have to be a guy. Am I right?"

Olivia hesitated to respond. She was a very private person; never telling another person about her relationship with Fitz. "Yes, I guess you could say that."

"Well I hope when this is over everything will be worked out. You are too young to be this sad."

"How was it for you? Giving up every your life and career to help your husband," Olivia asked hesitantly, hoping that she was not prying into a personal area.

"Well, to be honest it was hard. I know you've read my bio so I won't bore you with the details. I did have a promising legal career that I desperately wanted. I was a girl who was raised to make her own way in the world, never on the coat tails of a man," she gave a small chuckle as she looked down at her coffee and was briefly lost in thought. She sighed and gave a brilliant smile before continuing, "But I loved my husband more. And I knew he needed me at his side to help him fulfill his dreams. He's always wanted this. And I could never stand in his way. I give him my full support. And I was willing to sacrifice my goals and dreams to promote his. It was for the best because he truly is the most qualified person to run this country."

She was called away soon after that but Olivia continued to think about her words. That is what Fitz needed from her. She could only pursue her dreams so far before they would have to be cast aside so that she could fully support him in his. Could she do that? Was she the type of person to live in the shadow of her husband? She had told him once that she wanted her own identity and he agreed that he wanted that for her too but now she realized how foolish it was to believe such a thing was possible.

The more she reflected on it the more she felt resolved in her decision in to let Fitz go. She was not the woman for him. She was not the person who could support him in his political dreams. She didn't have the 'stand-by-your-man' mentality. She supposed she got it from her mother but she needed an independence; a purpose of her own. She wanted to make a name for herself in the world. If she never had that, then who would she be, just 'Mrs. Grant'? If that was her future, how long would it take for her to resent him for forcing her to give up what could have been?

Fitz needed someone whose dreams and goals **were** wrapped up in him. Someone whose aim in life was to help him succeed; someone who was satisfied with just praising his accomplishments; someone whose every thought was promoting the idea of Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III. Painfully, regrettably, that was not her.

Fitz would never realize it for himself. She had to force him to do it. And the only way she could think of was to cut off communication with him. A clean break was needed to keep him from hanging on to the possibility that they could be together. It would be cruel to give him false hope. Her heart would remain broken and she would more than likely end up alone but he would find someone else eventually. And it would be the perfect person to help him do what he was always destined to do. He would be happy.

She stared at the promise ring on her finger – so beautiful and brilliant. She would always wear it as a reminder of what they once had and love they shared. That would have to be enough to sustain her because she was confident that she would never love anyone else like she loved him. This ring would remind her to be content with the sacrifice she made because she was devoted to his happiness.


	19. EPILOGUE

**EPILOGUE**

She routed the corner and was walking down the hall as fast as her legs could take her. She had to escape this place, escape him. There were only so many apologies and regrets that she was going to express. And she could only allow him to humiliate her to a certain point; she had her limit. She knew she was wrong, she knew her treatment of him all those years ago was horrible and hurtful. She didn't expect him to forgive her immediately. It was understandable that he still harbored some hurt feelings; it would take time to completely get over everything that transpired between them. But she did expect him to be cordial and professional. After all, she was here to help him. But he was being intentionally mean. He was deliberately trying to hurt her, to retaliate for all the pain she caused him in the past. She took the first couple of blows, it was deserved. But her pride could no longer heal the wounds he inflicted. So she decided to get out….she would still help him as much as she could but she would find a way to rarely see him. It was evident that interacting with each other was not good for either of them.

She could feel him walking behind her but she couldn't stop. She walked faster. She couldn't stand another tongue lashing from him or another cold stare. It was enough! He could follow all he wanted, she didn't care. She just needed to get to her car and she would be gone. She almost made it until she felt him grab her arm and jerk her into the nearest closet. He strong armed her into the room and slammed the door behind them.

Olivia was breathless – not only from her power-walk but mainly from the man that was standing before her. He could always take her breath away. Her chest was heaving as she tried to calm her nerves. Her heartbeat was like a drum resounding in her ears. She was nervous, apprehensive and scared. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. The ever present frown he carried in her presence remained and she braced herself for whatever scathing words he was about to deliver. She didn't understand why he needed privacy now, when he never sought it out before. He was fine embarrassing her in front of others. What was so different now?

Fitz' mind was reeling. He didn't understand why he chased after her but he was moving before he could think about it. He had no plan and didn't quite know what he would do when he caught up with her. All he knew was that this woman had ruined him. She had taken his life and ripped it to shreds leaving him a shell of a man afterwards. She had claimed so much of him that he no longer desired anything or anyone else. She created a hole of emptiness within him and it never filled; over the years it had only enlarged. And now she was back and the painful wounds were opened fresh and new. He was angry that she came back into his life to remind him of what they had so long ago and even angrier that he still loved her beyond all reason. Time should have allowed him to forget her but it didn't.

"What!" Olivia said angrily.

He said nothing. He just stared at her. Before he could think better of it, he lunged at her and pinned her against the wall with a hungry, relentless kiss. He held her head so that she could not turn away from him. He just needed to taste her again; to remind himself that what they had was real and that they both cared about each other once. When he felt her respond, he slammed his mouth over hers again. He didn't mean the kiss to be so forceful but his desire for her was maddening.

Olivia quickly recovered from the shock of having him kiss her and was responding when she realized this was not love he was expressing; it was anger. He was trying to exorcise his demons by absolving himself of whatever desire he had for her. He was trying to get her out of his system. She pushed him off of her and slapped his face. She felt used. Did he think one encounter in a closet would be enough to rid himself of everything he felt for her? Empty his soul of all the love, hate and passion so that she would no longer matter to him; she would be nothing in his eyes.

He stumbled back in surprise. He said nothing. He just continued to stare at her. The scowl on his face had been replaced with far deeper emotions. There was only pain and despair. Olivia watched his emotions change and it touched her to her soul. She melted under his piercing gaze as she was reminded of the extent she hurt him. She was seeking his forgiveness; she wanted to be the one to help him because in doing so it would help her to forgive herself. She needed to heal just as much as he needed to. And maybe, once they got past the anger, they could help each other…

She nearly toppled him with the force of her aggressiveness. She grabbed his face and forced her tongue in his mouth. He accepted it and the dueling began. He held her close to his body, lifting her off the ground. With the intensity of her kiss she was trying to bring back the love he once felt for her. She wanted to remind him of how good they were together and telling him that her love for him had never changed. It was hurried, frantic and passionate. After so long of missing each other, there was no time for the pleasant intimacies of making love; they both needed the sexual release. There was no thought to what would come afterward. There were no nice words of love and devotion; the room was echoing the sounds of their moans and heavy panting.

Fitz was reaching for her clothing; he removed her jacket and trailed rapid kisses down her arm. But when he tried to remove her dress, Olivia stayed his hand – it was not the time or place for it. She needed to feel him inside her and she couldn't wait for the time it would take for unnecessary clothing to be removed. She turned around and faced the wall.. She reached behind her, unbuckled his pants and unzipped his zipper. She skillfully pushed both his pants and his boxers down far enough to release his pulsating erected member. The power of him in her hand gave her such a heady feeling that she moaned aloud. He had already reached under her dress and pulled down her panties until they were on the floor at her feet.

He bent his knees to position himself to enter her from behind. He had a fleeting thought that maybe he should slow down so not to hurt her but she arched up and took him fully inside her. She was already so wet with desire that he became undone. He held her hands against the wall as he thrust in and out of her and she moved to match his rhythm. She lifted her knee to allow him to go deeper inside her and they both gasped at that feeling of it. She turned her head back to capture his face for another scorching kiss. In her fever, she sucked mercilessly on his tongue. When he started to move again, she released his mouth as the pressure within her began to build. The explosion of her release was so intense that she slammed her hand against the wall and screamed his name. He could hold out no longer and allowed his own release to come forth.

In the aftermath of their encounter, as they rearranged their clothing, the realization of what they had done came and they could not look each other in the eye. Olivia smoothed down her hair and Fitz waited until she was fully composed before opening the door. He kept his eyes to the floor. He opened the door, looked down the hall to make sure no one was around and allowed her to exit first. Olivia walked out of the closet with her head held high and her back straight, refusing to cower under the scrutiny of what she had done.

When Fitz exited the room, he started to walk away without a word to her, before she uttered an unintelligible sound from her throat that caused him to stop and look back at her. "I made a mistake," she said in a strained voice, still having trouble meeting his eyes.

"We both did; it won't happen again," he said and the look of contempt on his face kept her frozen in her place.

"I meant about us, years ago; I made a mistake," she clarified.

He walked back toward her. His hands were in his pocket; he would not touch her again. "That wasn't a mistake. That was a destruction of us; a destruction of **me**…..We are done. I may not be able to control my erection around you but that doesn't mean I want you. I don't want you. I don't want us. We are done."

She stood there wishing the ground would swallow her up so that she could escape his wrath. She was speechless as she watched him walk away from her. Exposed and vulnerable, she felt her knees go weak and thought she would collapse but she didn't, she gathered herself together and walked out of the building. It wasn't cold outside but she shivered just the same at the coldness that was developing inside her.

**(A/N: This story is complete. Thank you all for sticking with me during this journey. I hope you will enjoy part II of the OLITZ story called "The Constancy of Happiness")**


End file.
